(no subject)
I really wish Cam and I would spend a some time together ALONE,(key word) like on an ACTUAL date...crazy idea I know! I wish we were more like Sam and Jeff...in fact I'd give anything to be more like Sam. I wish Cam and I talked as much as they do...they talk like everyday, and they seem to have such a healthy relationship. Sam is like my role model, and my best friend!! I really truly wish Cam and I would talk more...I know that's not really a guy thing, but it would make our relationship a hell of a lot better.
idk...the other night my sister saw us "kissing", and I'm tired of that...its not really even that great...and the preson that always takes the rap after it is me...b/c he is dropping me off. So he goes home..."home free" and I go inside and have 20 questions awaiting me. It seems like everytime we talk about this it ends up being a waste of time. I kind of feel like a slut...nothing has gone past kissing, but I still feel like a slut.
I feel like I don't know God anymore...and I was so excited to have new youth pastor and his wife was so nice too...I thought she could be my mentour...someone to talk to, but then things got fucked up again...he couldn't be our youth pastor b/c of a contract issue w/ another church or something like that. yea thanks for that one god. Sometimes I wonder if he exists...if fact I think about that a lot...I think sometimes its something that man made up...to make life seem less painful. I don't really talk to people anymore...idk really trust people anymore. I've kind of learned swallow everything...and I'm not sure I believe anymore.
idk...the other night my sister saw us "kissing", and I'm tired of that...its not really even that great...and the preson that always takes the rap after it is me...b/c he is dropping me off. So he goes home..."home free" and I go inside and have 20 questions awaiting me. It seems like everytime we talk about this it ends up being a waste of time. I kind of feel like a slut...nothing has gone past kissing, but I still feel like a slut.
I feel like I don't know God anymore...and I was so excited to have new youth pastor and his wife was so nice too...I thought she could be my mentour...someone to talk to, but then things got fucked up again...he couldn't be our youth pastor b/c of a contract issue w/ another church or something like that. yea thanks for that one god. Sometimes I wonder if he exists...if fact I think about that a lot...I think sometimes its something that man made up...to make life seem less painful. I don't really talk to people anymore...idk really trust people anymore. I've kind of learned swallow everything...and I'm not sure I believe anymore.