st. patrick's day
Apparently I should warn y'all for strong language. Does that really sound like me?
Now I love drinking as much as anyone, but I think a lot of people forget the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day. It's celebration of Saint Patrick and how he royally fucked up all the snakes in Ireland and told them what's what.
He was just sitting around, thinking about Jesus and God and stuff and the snakes attacked him, so he chased those little legless fucks right out of Ireland. I'm assuming he did it with a shillelagh.
So clearly, the only true meaning of Saint Patrick's Day is to get out there and mess up the faces of some bastard reptiles.
Actually, many modern scientists and herpetologists believe that after the most recent ice age, Ireland (along with a lot of the other -lands [Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand]) never really had snakes. They can't make it across the oceans, see.
Most people go with the idea that the serpent in the Saint Patrick story represents the pagan druids and that Patrick chasing them out represented him spreading Christianity to the natives. Patrick himself was not actually Irish and the official colour of St. Patrick was originally blue. BOOM, history AND science lessons.
It's also important to note that I absolutely do not support violence against anyone or anything (except Kevin Spacey) and if you or someone you know has a snake (or any pet) that you can no longer care for properly, I'd be more than happy to help you find a humane, non-violent way to rehome said snake (pet).
But man, doesn't my retelling of the Saint Patrick's Day story have more zip to it than "let's get drunk until we puke green"?
edit: BAHAHA, the mood icon for 'giggly' is pugs in superhero costumes; how great is my new moodtheme?
Now I love drinking as much as anyone, but I think a lot of people forget the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day. It's celebration of Saint Patrick and how he royally fucked up all the snakes in Ireland and told them what's what.
He was just sitting around, thinking about Jesus and God and stuff and the snakes attacked him, so he chased those little legless fucks right out of Ireland. I'm assuming he did it with a shillelagh.
So clearly, the only true meaning of Saint Patrick's Day is to get out there and mess up the faces of some bastard reptiles.
Actually, many modern scientists and herpetologists believe that after the most recent ice age, Ireland (along with a lot of the other -lands [Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand]) never really had snakes. They can't make it across the oceans, see.
Most people go with the idea that the serpent in the Saint Patrick story represents the pagan druids and that Patrick chasing them out represented him spreading Christianity to the natives. Patrick himself was not actually Irish and the official colour of St. Patrick was originally blue. BOOM, history AND science lessons.
It's also important to note that I absolutely do not support violence against anyone or anything (except Kevin Spacey) and if you or someone you know has a snake (or any pet) that you can no longer care for properly, I'd be more than happy to help you find a humane, non-violent way to rehome said snake (pet).
But man, doesn't my retelling of the Saint Patrick's Day story have more zip to it than "let's get drunk until we puke green"?
edit: BAHAHA, the mood icon for 'giggly' is pugs in superhero costumes; how great is my new moodtheme?