Hey, loose lips sink ships, and I didn't get a ticket to watch this one's demise, so I'm headed out.
Some things are better left unsaid.
I've been too caring, too embracing of the fact that I've been vying for dead weight. It's baffling for me to believe that all of this time, I've been investing in maintaining some fictitious concept and ideal of a life without dilemma. Never have I felt so dim-witted, never have I felt so entangled in such a web of nonsense. I'm not sure why my brain waves have been telling me to forget reasoning and go for the alternative caricature of everything I wish to acquire. It's almost as if my emotions have declared war within myself, as cliche and self-defeating as that may be to say. I'm kicking myself for never realizing that this is not the person I want to become. I can't do this to myself and lose all sense of dignity, because I've always been the person to sew my wounds shut, lock the door, and keep the key closer to me than any person could ever dream of getting. I refuse to bow down and be controlled by manipulators, just because I'm prone to try and give in to a fantasy situation when the reality is that there never was anything genuine and tangible to begin with... I don't know why I ever thought that it could be a possibility. When emotions come alive, your judgement completely gets fucked, and balancing the outcomes becomes excrutiatingly difficult, especially when you are not the one controlling the situation, nor are you the one with the extended sleight of hand leading you to a new depth without a feasible path out from the ground.
Willpower, JD, willpower! No swindling, please. I don't think I could handle it.
I've been too caring, too embracing of the fact that I've been vying for dead weight. It's baffling for me to believe that all of this time, I've been investing in maintaining some fictitious concept and ideal of a life without dilemma. Never have I felt so dim-witted, never have I felt so entangled in such a web of nonsense. I'm not sure why my brain waves have been telling me to forget reasoning and go for the alternative caricature of everything I wish to acquire. It's almost as if my emotions have declared war within myself, as cliche and self-defeating as that may be to say. I'm kicking myself for never realizing that this is not the person I want to become. I can't do this to myself and lose all sense of dignity, because I've always been the person to sew my wounds shut, lock the door, and keep the key closer to me than any person could ever dream of getting. I refuse to bow down and be controlled by manipulators, just because I'm prone to try and give in to a fantasy situation when the reality is that there never was anything genuine and tangible to begin with... I don't know why I ever thought that it could be a possibility. When emotions come alive, your judgement completely gets fucked, and balancing the outcomes becomes excrutiatingly difficult, especially when you are not the one controlling the situation, nor are you the one with the extended sleight of hand leading you to a new depth without a feasible path out from the ground.
Willpower, JD, willpower! No swindling, please. I don't think I could handle it.