(no subject)
I am pretty angry at myself right now. I notice that I try to be a hard ass sometimes and when it is really important to be that, I tend to fail miserably.
Dude it totally sucks. I have a lot of pressure on me right now. I find my laziness sickening, my brain is tired and all I want to do is complain about it to no end.
But that doesn't make it better now does it? It won't get me out of my situation nor will it help solve it either. I want to be better than I am but at the same time I want to be /what/ I am.
I wonder what I am going to do with myself. I also wonder what it is that I am capable of doing. I am so tried of trying, but I can't get what I want without it. I really want to see what it is that I can do. How smart I really am. And what difference that I can make. There are so many things that I want, but can't get because I am just so tired. This road that I am on is hard. But I think in the end, if I keep on doing what I am doing, that later I will regret it, regret my lack of motivation in my last year and my lack of the drive to do as well as I know that I can do. Damn, life I knew that you hard, but I guess ya kinda don't understand it until you are beaten and tired, huh? Hehe.
Dude it totally sucks. I have a lot of pressure on me right now. I find my laziness sickening, my brain is tired and all I want to do is complain about it to no end.
But that doesn't make it better now does it? It won't get me out of my situation nor will it help solve it either. I want to be better than I am but at the same time I want to be /what/ I am.
I wonder what I am going to do with myself. I also wonder what it is that I am capable of doing. I am so tried of trying, but I can't get what I want without it. I really want to see what it is that I can do. How smart I really am. And what difference that I can make. There are so many things that I want, but can't get because I am just so tired. This road that I am on is hard. But I think in the end, if I keep on doing what I am doing, that later I will regret it, regret my lack of motivation in my last year and my lack of the drive to do as well as I know that I can do. Damn, life I knew that you hard, but I guess ya kinda don't understand it until you are beaten and tired, huh? Hehe.