chill
It's been a long time since I did a tarot reading for myself, so I figured New Year's Eve was a good time. The results were - surprising.
This was a Celtic Cross with a Rider White deck.
1+2: central situation --> 7 cups (temptation, confusion of feeling, fear of choice) crossed by The Judgement (transformation, recognition of purity; also danger of being inauthentic). Confusion and aspiration to transform myself are blocking each other; I am asking too much of myself, am paralysed not knowing which way to go to achieve this, and in the process I'm not allowing myself to be authentic.
3: foundation --> Justice. Judgement and Justice in the same spread so close together tells me one thing: loosen up. I'm observing myself too closely, and it's not doing me any favours. Justice also tells me I'm focussing on integrity, on pondered decisions. The danger of this is leaving no space for spontaneity. There's too much planning, too much living in my head.
4: emergence --> 9 wands. A battle lost, and for what? What was I fighting for? Am I setting myself up for defeat or worse, do I think I already lost? Whatever it is, I'm still standing, I'm learning from my mistakes. All my energy, all those wands, are still with me, I just have to use it, and use it better. One step more, over to 10 wands, and it will be a celebration.
5: past --> 2 wands. Wandering out into the world - the new job. An exploration. This phase is over now.
6: future --> 8 swords. Bound by my own thoughts and worries; paralysed. This card makes so much sense. I can find my way out, see how we don't see the figure's hands, she can free herself, if she wants. Those swords, they are just thoughts. They are not even real. And if she can't free herself, then the one on my tattoo will have to do it, she will have to get up, drop the blindfold, and use those swords of hers.
7: self-perception --> 5 wands. A useless fight, energy going nowhere, and no one's even having fun. This is not how it was supposed to be.
8: external perception --> Temperance. On others, though, I'm making a great impression. A powerful presence, no wonder I'm so exhausted. I'm an angel in people's lives, constant, balanced, perfect. The goel needs to be to put that cards somewhere where it relates to me, not to others. This guiding light, this wisdom, I need it for myself.
9: hopes & fears --> 8 coins. Turns out, all I want to do is just calmly go about my business, get better at it, learn, work. Build something for the future, slowly, patiently. Maybe I should not be so eager to be in the spotlight. Focus more on the details, on the daily work. Have fun.
10: outcome --> page of wands. First of all, I still feel younger than I am; I still feel I am learning, incomplete. This has good and bad aspects. Still, even though she's young, the page of wands is a card full of confidence, she stands for new projects, vision and creativity.
This was a Celtic Cross with a Rider White deck.
1+2: central situation --> 7 cups (temptation, confusion of feeling, fear of choice) crossed by The Judgement (transformation, recognition of purity; also danger of being inauthentic). Confusion and aspiration to transform myself are blocking each other; I am asking too much of myself, am paralysed not knowing which way to go to achieve this, and in the process I'm not allowing myself to be authentic.
3: foundation --> Justice. Judgement and Justice in the same spread so close together tells me one thing: loosen up. I'm observing myself too closely, and it's not doing me any favours. Justice also tells me I'm focussing on integrity, on pondered decisions. The danger of this is leaving no space for spontaneity. There's too much planning, too much living in my head.
4: emergence --> 9 wands. A battle lost, and for what? What was I fighting for? Am I setting myself up for defeat or worse, do I think I already lost? Whatever it is, I'm still standing, I'm learning from my mistakes. All my energy, all those wands, are still with me, I just have to use it, and use it better. One step more, over to 10 wands, and it will be a celebration.
5: past --> 2 wands. Wandering out into the world - the new job. An exploration. This phase is over now.
6: future --> 8 swords. Bound by my own thoughts and worries; paralysed. This card makes so much sense. I can find my way out, see how we don't see the figure's hands, she can free herself, if she wants. Those swords, they are just thoughts. They are not even real. And if she can't free herself, then the one on my tattoo will have to do it, she will have to get up, drop the blindfold, and use those swords of hers.
7: self-perception --> 5 wands. A useless fight, energy going nowhere, and no one's even having fun. This is not how it was supposed to be.
8: external perception --> Temperance. On others, though, I'm making a great impression. A powerful presence, no wonder I'm so exhausted. I'm an angel in people's lives, constant, balanced, perfect. The goel needs to be to put that cards somewhere where it relates to me, not to others. This guiding light, this wisdom, I need it for myself.
9: hopes & fears --> 8 coins. Turns out, all I want to do is just calmly go about my business, get better at it, learn, work. Build something for the future, slowly, patiently. Maybe I should not be so eager to be in the spotlight. Focus more on the details, on the daily work. Have fun.
10: outcome --> page of wands. First of all, I still feel younger than I am; I still feel I am learning, incomplete. This has good and bad aspects. Still, even though she's young, the page of wands is a card full of confidence, she stands for new projects, vision and creativity.