This is the first time...
This entry might sound selfish and petty to some but what happened this morning means a lot to me and it really upsets me. I auditioned this week for The Merchant of Venice here at Salisbury. Much to my happy suprise, I got called back to read again, which didn't happen with the last play yet I still got a part, so I fell assured that I would at least get one of the minor female characters. I checked the cast list this morning...and my name wasn't there. It crushed me. This is the first time that I have gone out for a play and haven't gotten ANYTHING. I don't know if it is because I'm not a theatre major and they get priority or if I couldn't speak the Shakespearean language well enough. Maybe I just didn't fit into his picture of what the characters should look like. (Damn my big boobs and short stature, they cost me Annie too!) But it just still upsets me because drama is what I love to do. I really don't think I will feel right if I go to see the play and I'm not in it. The other thing that gets to me is that the drama people seemed to be starting in accept me. I spent some time one afternoon drawing on cocktail napkins for Karla's dress (ask me later about this story) and it was fun. To be cliche...they liked me...they really liked me! Now I feel like all of that is lost. I guess if I really wanted to I could be an Assistant Stage Manager but I don't know if being an ASM is for me. Being a part of the crew is the flip side of drama for me, and while I truly think that they are more important that actors and never get the credit that they should, I like being in the spotlight. I guess that is kinda selfish but I know that I'm good, or at least decent at acting and now I just feel like my love, my passion, the one thing that is fun for me, has been taken away.