Narration! [Futuredated to the weekend]
From people telling her that her brother needed his family more than ever to her bloody brawl with Giovanni, Blacky found herself feeling like she'd failed somehow. Failed to be there for Golduck when he needed it most. Failed to kill the man she knew was responsible for his suffering in the first place. But she could still manage to do one of those two things... right?
When she showed up unexpectedly on her ex-trainer's doorstep, bruised from her fight and tired from the long flight, Tobias was understandably upset, and bombarded her with questions about what happened. She didn't feel like answering them, and even shied away from his attempts to inspect her injuries. He demanded she go to the Pokemon Centre, but she refused. For the first time in her life, she said "no" to the man she once thought she would do anything for. He was surprised, but reluctantly conceded, accepting that as he was no longer her trainer he couldn't make her do anything. So, why was she here?
To see Golduck, she'd answered. He was home, of course - he hadn't so much as stepped outside the house since his return - and Blacky found him in the guest room, sitting cross-legged on the bed and staring at the wall. His bill moved slightly, open and shut, open and shut, in a way that reminded Blacky of a fish. The fish she couldn't even keep alive in her office aquarium. A sharp pain shot through her heart at the comparison.
"Hey," she said softly, closing the door behind her. Golduck's eyes flickered toward her for a brief second, but otherwise he made no sign of acknowledging her presence. Did he even recognize her as a human? She pulled her hat off, only feeling safe enough to expose her markings when inside the house. "It's me. Umbreon."
He closed his bill and fixed his gaze on her. Good. She at least had his full attention. But she could feel his gaze boring into her, studying her, judging her. As though he could tell just by looking at her that she was a disappointment. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, unable to bring herself to make eye contact.
"How are you feeling?"
Golduck exhaled loudly before answering. "Better."
He spoke! That was a vast improvement from how he was a few short weeks ago. There was an anxious fluttering in her chest. "That's great! I'm-- I'm glad you seem to be recovering well." She reached over to put a delicate hand over his clawed, webbed one. "Guess what?"
He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on. But how was she going to continue? She wanted to tell him about her fight. To brag that she'd drawn blood. That she worked so hard to avenge him. But she didn't want him to know she'd failed.
"...The leader of Team Rocket was at our very school." She felt his hand flinch when she spoke the organization's name, and again she felt that pain in her heart. But a determination flared up in her. "I killed him with my own teeth."
He pulled his hand away, staring wide-eyed at her. "Why?"
"What?" That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. He was supposed to smile. To say he was proud of her. "I... Look at what they've done to you! I thought you of all people would agree it's the right thing!"
"Who are you? My Umbreon was never a murderer."
"It was justice!" Her eyes stung. She wanted to cry. After all these years she finally had the chance to talk to him again and now she'd blown it. He was withdrawing from her. That wasn't how it was supposed to go. "Or-- or it would have been. I lied. I never killed him. I... I tried, but I didn't. I just said I did so you could be happy. Why don't you..."
Golduck just tuned her out and resumed staring at the wall. He didn't even give her a second glance, despite her insistence that she'd done nothing wrong, that she was sorry, that she missed him so much after all the years. None of it seemed to get through to him. He blocked it out.
Blacky's shoulders shook with silent, frustrated sobs. Finally, she stood and left the room, slamming the door on her way out.
There'd been a willow tree in the back yard for as long as Blacky could remember. She remembered the summer afternoons spent napping in the shade alongside Tobias. Summer was over; she could see a few of the leaves already yellowing. Dying. But none had fallen yet.
She sat under the tree, watching young Casca - Tobias' son's Flareon, her son - busy himself with the important task of digging up every flower in the garden. She knew she should have stopped him and scolded him, but he was enjoying himself, at least. She had to let someone be happy. At times like this, when she could actually see how fast he was growing and how energetic he was, she entertained the idea of taking him back to the school with her. Raising him. Trying to be a responsible parent. He didn't even know she was his mother. She wondered if he resented her at all.
There was no way she could possibly raise him on her own. Not if she couldn't even keep simple fish alive. She barely kept herself alive. Couldn't keep a stable relationship. Couldn't even keep a positive attitude. She smirked to herself at the thought.
Maybe one day she'd be able to get something right. Until then... she'd just have to keep trying. There was nothing else she could do.
On Monday, Blacky came back.
When she showed up unexpectedly on her ex-trainer's doorstep, bruised from her fight and tired from the long flight, Tobias was understandably upset, and bombarded her with questions about what happened. She didn't feel like answering them, and even shied away from his attempts to inspect her injuries. He demanded she go to the Pokemon Centre, but she refused. For the first time in her life, she said "no" to the man she once thought she would do anything for. He was surprised, but reluctantly conceded, accepting that as he was no longer her trainer he couldn't make her do anything. So, why was she here?
To see Golduck, she'd answered. He was home, of course - he hadn't so much as stepped outside the house since his return - and Blacky found him in the guest room, sitting cross-legged on the bed and staring at the wall. His bill moved slightly, open and shut, open and shut, in a way that reminded Blacky of a fish. The fish she couldn't even keep alive in her office aquarium. A sharp pain shot through her heart at the comparison.
"Hey," she said softly, closing the door behind her. Golduck's eyes flickered toward her for a brief second, but otherwise he made no sign of acknowledging her presence. Did he even recognize her as a human? She pulled her hat off, only feeling safe enough to expose her markings when inside the house. "It's me. Umbreon."
He closed his bill and fixed his gaze on her. Good. She at least had his full attention. But she could feel his gaze boring into her, studying her, judging her. As though he could tell just by looking at her that she was a disappointment. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, unable to bring herself to make eye contact.
"How are you feeling?"
Golduck exhaled loudly before answering. "Better."
He spoke! That was a vast improvement from how he was a few short weeks ago. There was an anxious fluttering in her chest. "That's great! I'm-- I'm glad you seem to be recovering well." She reached over to put a delicate hand over his clawed, webbed one. "Guess what?"
He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on. But how was she going to continue? She wanted to tell him about her fight. To brag that she'd drawn blood. That she worked so hard to avenge him. But she didn't want him to know she'd failed.
"...The leader of Team Rocket was at our very school." She felt his hand flinch when she spoke the organization's name, and again she felt that pain in her heart. But a determination flared up in her. "I killed him with my own teeth."
He pulled his hand away, staring wide-eyed at her. "Why?"
"What?" That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. He was supposed to smile. To say he was proud of her. "I... Look at what they've done to you! I thought you of all people would agree it's the right thing!"
"Who are you? My Umbreon was never a murderer."
"It was justice!" Her eyes stung. She wanted to cry. After all these years she finally had the chance to talk to him again and now she'd blown it. He was withdrawing from her. That wasn't how it was supposed to go. "Or-- or it would have been. I lied. I never killed him. I... I tried, but I didn't. I just said I did so you could be happy. Why don't you..."
Golduck just tuned her out and resumed staring at the wall. He didn't even give her a second glance, despite her insistence that she'd done nothing wrong, that she was sorry, that she missed him so much after all the years. None of it seemed to get through to him. He blocked it out.
Blacky's shoulders shook with silent, frustrated sobs. Finally, she stood and left the room, slamming the door on her way out.
There'd been a willow tree in the back yard for as long as Blacky could remember. She remembered the summer afternoons spent napping in the shade alongside Tobias. Summer was over; she could see a few of the leaves already yellowing. Dying. But none had fallen yet.
She sat under the tree, watching young Casca - Tobias' son's Flareon, her son - busy himself with the important task of digging up every flower in the garden. She knew she should have stopped him and scolded him, but he was enjoying himself, at least. She had to let someone be happy. At times like this, when she could actually see how fast he was growing and how energetic he was, she entertained the idea of taking him back to the school with her. Raising him. Trying to be a responsible parent. He didn't even know she was his mother. She wondered if he resented her at all.
There was no way she could possibly raise him on her own. Not if she couldn't even keep simple fish alive. She barely kept herself alive. Couldn't keep a stable relationship. Couldn't even keep a positive attitude. She smirked to herself at the thought.
Maybe one day she'd be able to get something right. Until then... she'd just have to keep trying. There was nothing else she could do.
On Monday, Blacky came back.