Nostalgia
Nostalgia is you looking back and seeing all the happy memories that you've collected, should you be so lucky. So blessed. Your eyes linger upon empty tennis courts, quiet movie theatres and quiet rooms. You get sick. You feel a little stronger. You see all your failures and all your successes.
So many failures.
So many successes.
So blessed.
It seems like you'll never have moments like those again, but you will look back upon yourself in five years and smile the same sick, wonderful smile.
It all will feel like a terrifying freefall into uninhibited excitement. Prospects. Potential. Horror. Despair. Happiness.
The girls you should have kissed.
The girls that wish you had kissed them.
Best friends and video games. Hiding from the cold in an English room with Diet Coke and laughter. The day is hard and stressful, but you know you'll always have the mornings. Until you don't.
Nostalgia has as much a capacity for harm as it does for good. It's a spiritual missle that's far from laser-guided. It will land. It will explode. The light of the flames will show you all of these beautiful, despairing things. It's certainly no surgical tool.
Sad. Insane. Perfect.
So many failures.
So many successes.
So blessed.
It seems like you'll never have moments like those again, but you will look back upon yourself in five years and smile the same sick, wonderful smile.
It all will feel like a terrifying freefall into uninhibited excitement. Prospects. Potential. Horror. Despair. Happiness.
The girls you should have kissed.
The girls that wish you had kissed them.
Best friends and video games. Hiding from the cold in an English room with Diet Coke and laughter. The day is hard and stressful, but you know you'll always have the mornings. Until you don't.
Nostalgia has as much a capacity for harm as it does for good. It's a spiritual missle that's far from laser-guided. It will land. It will explode. The light of the flames will show you all of these beautiful, despairing things. It's certainly no surgical tool.
Sad. Insane. Perfect.