(no subject)
So...I just finished watching Father of the Bride, parts I and II. In the first one, his 22 year-old daughter got married and in the second one this daughter (and his wife) had babies. I got really choked up at the end of the second one, right after the deliveries of the babies. He was just so happy, I couldn't control myself, I was crying like crazy. But, it wasn't tears of sadness, but rather tears of joy...I was so happy for him, especially when he said "Life doesn't get any better than this" as he was holding his daughter in one arm and his grandson in another. But then I started thinking of myself (I know, selfish). When I was born, my mom had to go through all of it herself, my father was no where to be found. I was thinking the entire time, how could he miss something like that? I would rather kill myself than miss the birth of my child, but my father (not my dad...subtle distinction...a father would be someone who contributed genetic material, a dad would be someone who shared in your life) took it for granted. Then I got to thinking how I would be different, I would be there for my wife and children...I would teach them how to play catch and swim. I would be happy to give them the "talk" (how early is too early?). I'm thinking why the hell would someone get married if they didn't want to have a family (well, I know the reason in my father's case...he merely wanted to come to the US and bring the rest of his siblings here as well...BTW: If anyone from the INS happens to be reading this, that is truely the only reason that he ever got married to my mom, the marriage has been a sham) True, she loved him in the beginning, and he pretended to love her, but he's not a very good actor (although his name is Akthar...if you pronounce it with an english accent it sounds similar to actor). I don't really know what it truely is to have a family. The one that I feel worse for, however, is my mom. She never got what she diserved...this man has tried to leave her so many times...I have so many memories of him taking a suitcase and disappearing for days at a time (BTW: I was not even waist-high at the time). What kind of man can leave his wife and children...that is not a man, but rather it is a womanly eunich (that's an insult to his manhood, not womankind). My mom, the only one who raised me, deserved so much better...as the oldest child, she worked hard to help her parents support her brothers and sisters (all eight of them) and she didn't get married until she was 36 (in a nation where it is customary for 16 year old girls to be having children - in wedlock, of course)...I wasn't even born until she was 40. I guess all that I can say is that the world is not anywhere near fair...good, hardworking people don't always get what they diserve, but I must have faith. I must keep believing that when my father dies he will be eternally tortured (demons will anal-rape him for eternity) for what he did to my mom. I guess...the ball falls into my court to try to give her some type of happiness. I hope that I will figure out some way to do that which doesn't involve money (my supporting her for the rest of her life...although I do plan on doing that), but someway that is more personal.