Where do you go when you're lonely? I'll follow you...
"Where do you go when you're lonely? I'll follow you..." - Tyler Hilton. (Yes, I know someone else sang the song before him but I like his version better).
That quote has been my LiveJournal title for about 4 years now. Hmmmmmm.
I'm blessed that I have no tried to fill the void (or rather mask it) with things like drugs and severe alcohol abuse but it's still there...
Loneliness, for me, is a strange emotion because I can be surrounded by people and feel lonely and on the opposite end of the spectrum, the phone/IM do close to nothing for me feeling better. So, by merely calling someone, I alleviate the emotion for only that length of time and honestly it really doesn't help all that much. But if I am physically near someone, it gets much better. Such a strange feeling. I have been feeling lonely a lot lately and I thought that maybe by having a boyfriend it might subside or disappear altogether but no such luck. Misery loves company, after all, right? Wrong. And don't get me wrong - I like him a lot. He's great. But it must be something else that is gnawing away at me. It literally feels like that cliche void that everyone talks about... and I am having such a hard time filling it. Travel, exercise, action adventures, spontaneaity (sp?) fll the void only for the exact time I'm doing them. And right after, I'm left feeling empty yet again.
A good friend told me today that I need to come to accept that this is it. This is life. I need to stop thinking that I need to fill the void and just be happy as is. But it's hard to let go of a lifestyle I've subscribed to for 25 years. I have had an amazingly great life - one most would kill for. And I need to be happy with all that I've accomplished and stop trying to accomplish more "just because" and instead find purpose in life. It's hard though - where do I start?
That quote has been my LiveJournal title for about 4 years now. Hmmmmmm.
I'm blessed that I have no tried to fill the void (or rather mask it) with things like drugs and severe alcohol abuse but it's still there...
Loneliness, for me, is a strange emotion because I can be surrounded by people and feel lonely and on the opposite end of the spectrum, the phone/IM do close to nothing for me feeling better. So, by merely calling someone, I alleviate the emotion for only that length of time and honestly it really doesn't help all that much. But if I am physically near someone, it gets much better. Such a strange feeling. I have been feeling lonely a lot lately and I thought that maybe by having a boyfriend it might subside or disappear altogether but no such luck. Misery loves company, after all, right? Wrong. And don't get me wrong - I like him a lot. He's great. But it must be something else that is gnawing away at me. It literally feels like that cliche void that everyone talks about... and I am having such a hard time filling it. Travel, exercise, action adventures, spontaneaity (sp?) fll the void only for the exact time I'm doing them. And right after, I'm left feeling empty yet again.
A good friend told me today that I need to come to accept that this is it. This is life. I need to stop thinking that I need to fill the void and just be happy as is. But it's hard to let go of a lifestyle I've subscribed to for 25 years. I have had an amazingly great life - one most would kill for. And I need to be happy with all that I've accomplished and stop trying to accomplish more "just because" and instead find purpose in life. It's hard though - where do I start?