Movie Review: Twilight
Okay, before I begin, I'm going to be blatant: I didn't like it. So, considering the internet world is made up of people who like Twilight or people who don't, I'm going to put this in spoilers so those who do like it can waltz their merry way past this post without having to read the content.
Lesse. From the very beginning of the movie I was put off. The "I never gave a thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I loved would be a good way to go" way of thinking really annoys me. It's just one of those really selfish thoughts that bug me. I'd love for that person to, if they succeeded with their wish, just stay on Earth to see the effect of their actions. I mean, how would you feel if someone you loved died for you? Personally, I'd feel really upset because that person isn't around anymore and because I'd feel so guilty I wouldn't be able to stand it. So the fact that the movie opens with that line (it reoccurs, which is why I remember it) gave me the feeling of just getting up and leaving the theatre. XD I'm mean like that.
The storyline itself is weak. I mean, okay, he's a vampire. He's dangerous. He's a killer. HE'S NOT! For Goodness' sake, how about looking properly? He's acting like a normal guy (aside from that super strength, super speed stuff, but when you've got Sebastian, who needs vampires) so I'm gonna see him as a normal guy. So what do I end up seeing. A romance that has nothing in terms of content. This is what I see:
New girl arrives at school; New girl meets guy; Guy keeps away from girl; Girl gets angry and curious; Girl confronts guy; Guy confesses he loves girl; Girl falls head over heels; Guy and girl start dating.
That is, in essence what happens in the first three quarters of the movie. (okay, don't deny it. It bloody well is) This is a 2 hour movie! This story bit takes up 1 and a half hours. What's annoying me? NOTHING IS HAPPENING! C'MON HAVE SOMETHING HAPPEN, OR MAKE IT FUNNY. WATCHING THIS WAS LIKE WATCHING THE FANTASY OF A PRETEEN COME TO LIFE! And people think that the book from which this came was literature! Honestly, I so saw the hospital scene coming at the end. It just had all the essential parts of the cheesy soap-opera chiches that I find revolting.
I'm going to be blunt. I only liked the baseball scene and that was because it was playing Supermassive Black Hole by Muse.
I want to ask. Did anyone else find the colour (or lack thereof) annoying? Like, apparently the vampires were supposed to have pale skin. Sorry, couldn't tell them apart because unless they were Indian American, they all looked like all the blood had drained from their face. EVERY SINGLE PERSON! And I mean, for personal preference, unless it's a night scene, I like colours. I like bright natural colours like the rich greens of grass and the deep blue of sky and the strong browns of the earth. I dunno if it's just that place in America, but seeing so many clouds and so little colour just depresses me. I guess that was the supposed effect of the movie but it just added to my distaste.
I will admit, I spent the entire movie making fun of it in my head, and that's how I got through it.
Eg. Main male character comes in. My thoughts: "How does he get his hair like that? Well, obviously he douses it in gel... and then... stands in front of a fan? Nah, not strong enough to give that effect. How about the fans in a commercial freezer? Those are pretty strong. Hey! And that's why his skin would be so cold! I've discovered the secrets of Twilight!"
Another eg: Memory of main male becoming a vampire. "WELL OF COURSE IT'S PAINFUL! HE'S GETTING A HICKEY BY A MAN! He'll never live it down XD"
'Villain' comes in. Me: "Omg it's Pedo Bear!" (Pedo Bear being one of my friends) This joke never died. From the time this guy came in until he died (by breaking of the neck? Thought vampires couldn't be killed that way) I was just laughing and laughing and laughing. God, Pedo Bear I love you, you're the only reason why I'd give this movie half a star.
And yeah, to finish up. I'd really only give it half a star, but to be nice, it can have one. By the way. I heard that the movie was better than the book, so I'm now even less inclined to read it as I was a few months ago when my dear sister-like friend tried to get me to read it. Thankfully, she caught on pretty quickly that it wasn't something I'd like. Unlike my best friend who really didn't get the hint.
To different news, I'm thinking about seeing a doctor about my stomach. If I don't eat, I feel sick from hunger. If I eat, I feel like throwing up. And as a result, I've been constantly feeling weak and woozy. I think I've got a blood sugar problem (instand thought: diabetes... damn First Aid and its worst case scenario thinking). Either that, or I'm allergic to something that occurs in most foods.
Lesse. From the very beginning of the movie I was put off. The "I never gave a thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I loved would be a good way to go" way of thinking really annoys me. It's just one of those really selfish thoughts that bug me. I'd love for that person to, if they succeeded with their wish, just stay on Earth to see the effect of their actions. I mean, how would you feel if someone you loved died for you? Personally, I'd feel really upset because that person isn't around anymore and because I'd feel so guilty I wouldn't be able to stand it. So the fact that the movie opens with that line (it reoccurs, which is why I remember it) gave me the feeling of just getting up and leaving the theatre. XD I'm mean like that.
The storyline itself is weak. I mean, okay, he's a vampire. He's dangerous. He's a killer. HE'S NOT! For Goodness' sake, how about looking properly? He's acting like a normal guy (aside from that super strength, super speed stuff, but when you've got Sebastian, who needs vampires) so I'm gonna see him as a normal guy. So what do I end up seeing. A romance that has nothing in terms of content. This is what I see:
New girl arrives at school; New girl meets guy; Guy keeps away from girl; Girl gets angry and curious; Girl confronts guy; Guy confesses he loves girl; Girl falls head over heels; Guy and girl start dating.
That is, in essence what happens in the first three quarters of the movie. (okay, don't deny it. It bloody well is) This is a 2 hour movie! This story bit takes up 1 and a half hours. What's annoying me? NOTHING IS HAPPENING! C'MON HAVE SOMETHING HAPPEN, OR MAKE IT FUNNY. WATCHING THIS WAS LIKE WATCHING THE FANTASY OF A PRETEEN COME TO LIFE! And people think that the book from which this came was literature! Honestly, I so saw the hospital scene coming at the end. It just had all the essential parts of the cheesy soap-opera chiches that I find revolting.
I'm going to be blunt. I only liked the baseball scene and that was because it was playing Supermassive Black Hole by Muse.
I want to ask. Did anyone else find the colour (or lack thereof) annoying? Like, apparently the vampires were supposed to have pale skin. Sorry, couldn't tell them apart because unless they were Indian American, they all looked like all the blood had drained from their face. EVERY SINGLE PERSON! And I mean, for personal preference, unless it's a night scene, I like colours. I like bright natural colours like the rich greens of grass and the deep blue of sky and the strong browns of the earth. I dunno if it's just that place in America, but seeing so many clouds and so little colour just depresses me. I guess that was the supposed effect of the movie but it just added to my distaste.
I will admit, I spent the entire movie making fun of it in my head, and that's how I got through it.
Eg. Main male character comes in. My thoughts: "How does he get his hair like that? Well, obviously he douses it in gel... and then... stands in front of a fan? Nah, not strong enough to give that effect. How about the fans in a commercial freezer? Those are pretty strong. Hey! And that's why his skin would be so cold! I've discovered the secrets of Twilight!"
Another eg: Memory of main male becoming a vampire. "WELL OF COURSE IT'S PAINFUL! HE'S GETTING A HICKEY BY A MAN! He'll never live it down XD"
'Villain' comes in. Me: "Omg it's Pedo Bear!" (Pedo Bear being one of my friends) This joke never died. From the time this guy came in until he died (by breaking of the neck? Thought vampires couldn't be killed that way) I was just laughing and laughing and laughing. God, Pedo Bear I love you, you're the only reason why I'd give this movie half a star.
And yeah, to finish up. I'd really only give it half a star, but to be nice, it can have one. By the way. I heard that the movie was better than the book, so I'm now even less inclined to read it as I was a few months ago when my dear sister-like friend tried to get me to read it. Thankfully, she caught on pretty quickly that it wasn't something I'd like. Unlike my best friend who really didn't get the hint.
To different news, I'm thinking about seeing a doctor about my stomach. If I don't eat, I feel sick from hunger. If I eat, I feel like throwing up. And as a result, I've been constantly feeling weak and woozy. I think I've got a blood sugar problem (instand thought: diabetes... damn First Aid and its worst case scenario thinking). Either that, or I'm allergic to something that occurs in most foods.