Don't hear my words, feel them
So we finally talked on the phone today. I didn't know when I would get another chance so I had to bring it up. I told her how I felt and that I wasn't ready to walk away. I've come to decide to let her choose how she wants this story to end. I will be the same character either way. Sure, I would prefer the happy ending. But the happy ending I want may not be the same that she wants. As long as she knows I'll always be here no matter what, then it's a victory for me. Too many times have I had to walk away and never look back. You come to a point in your life when you start to meet people that you know belong in your life, just not always in the capacity you want them to be. She is one of those. However she came to be apart of my story is irrelevant. The important thing is that her character remains connected to my story some how.
I'm waiting for her to call me in hopes to see her tonight and hopefully prove some of what I've told her. Words are only so powerful, feelings are much stronger. Words have no meaning if the person speaking them is just saying what needs to be said. Instead, when spoken from the heart, a word could knock down buildings, lift cars, and cure illnesses. I'm not trying to do any of those things. I'm just trying to make peace with the pain I've caused for both of us. If I don't try, then what was the point of the whole thing.
I did have an opportunity to go to dinner with a friend tonight who I'm more than positive has ulterior motives. Sure she's a great girl, but not my type. I've known her for years and only just recently bumped into her again. Others told me to go and forget about Brittney. They said Britteny's not worth it if she makes you feel like crap and doesn't talk to you. But they don't know what I know. They don't feel what I feel. Even Brittney told me to go. But I decided not to go to dinner. I don't want to give the wrong impression. Yes, this could very well mean another lonely night at home on a Saturday night. But it's not over between Brittney and I. If there is a will, there is a way. I don't want to push her away and force her choice. I want her to write the remaining paragraph of this chapter without extra influence. I want her decision to come from her heart, and not her mind. Only then will the ending (if it ends) be a true ending and not materialized by the public's common requested jarble.
I'm waiting for her to call me in hopes to see her tonight and hopefully prove some of what I've told her. Words are only so powerful, feelings are much stronger. Words have no meaning if the person speaking them is just saying what needs to be said. Instead, when spoken from the heart, a word could knock down buildings, lift cars, and cure illnesses. I'm not trying to do any of those things. I'm just trying to make peace with the pain I've caused for both of us. If I don't try, then what was the point of the whole thing.
I did have an opportunity to go to dinner with a friend tonight who I'm more than positive has ulterior motives. Sure she's a great girl, but not my type. I've known her for years and only just recently bumped into her again. Others told me to go and forget about Brittney. They said Britteny's not worth it if she makes you feel like crap and doesn't talk to you. But they don't know what I know. They don't feel what I feel. Even Brittney told me to go. But I decided not to go to dinner. I don't want to give the wrong impression. Yes, this could very well mean another lonely night at home on a Saturday night. But it's not over between Brittney and I. If there is a will, there is a way. I don't want to push her away and force her choice. I want her to write the remaining paragraph of this chapter without extra influence. I want her decision to come from her heart, and not her mind. Only then will the ending (if it ends) be a true ending and not materialized by the public's common requested jarble.