two spirit
Wisdom teeth coming on in.
Sore breasts and no blood in sight.
Books the last thing in mind.
Eyes so dry I've done blind.
No money in the wallet.
No gas in the tank.
Just a smile, crooked and white.
Escape from the Voodoo Children.
The murder of Humbert.
The smite of the white mask.
I survived this battle,
and I won't walk into the next with intention.
I have no idea why everything is okay because I can see the way everything is changing and usually that scares me it scares me shitless usually but that is exactly what I am saying things don't feel usual it's not just me it's everybody close to me we're all shifting towards something new something less for some something more for others and I see it and I suppose I am startled and a bit cautious but it's not like it would be normally habitually ordinarily conventions are thrown out the proverbial window and all of a sudden I am anxious for change I am ready and willing and salivating some people see this change in me and they are afraid of it afraid of the power that will be prevalent in a world where change enthralls my being rather than the average suffocation yes things will be new and different and old and worn and wonderful and no you cannot fuck this up I simply wont let you I will fight it with everything I've got and either you or your idea will die and I won't cry on your grave I will laugh I will choke on a laughter so loud and gay and bold that if your corpse was not being devoured by the earth your fear might take a journey down your spine in the guise of a chill but it wont because you're already cold cold and dead and unmoving and unruining and unbreathing so figure out what you really want then figure out that I don't want you because if I did I'd come to you and no one else but I haven't so you really need to let it go let me go and then we can go on and you can look back and say that is that girl I used to know but she changed and I'll hear you and it will warm me up in my dark places because this change is the best thing and no one person is to blame no one event or star or god or devil is to blame I can finally see it all and it makes me sick about a lot of people it really does make vomit erupt but with others it makes me powerful and with others it makes me weak and with others it makes me know love or hate or envy but the point here is that clarity came in a form so simple and beautiful and honest and I'll never turn my head back to denial and I'll hope everyday and I'll live everyday and you don't know what I am talking about now but soon you'll see the change soon you'll all know soon we'll all have to give change a kiss and open our door but not today not today not today in this moment I just wanted to say that many of you won't be in my life anymore and the thing here is maybe I am numb but it feels like I am finally pumping again and I've said it before but I never meant it I wanted to mean it so bad that I kept saying it over and over I kept dreaming it and instead of pursuing life I settled for pretending to pursue for writing instead of living for standing instead of jumping and now things have been disrupted shifted turned falling veering landing things are going a different way and you all have to accept it embrace what you can and you better love it fucking love every bit or just turn away from me and never pretend to care again.
Thanks.
Sore breasts and no blood in sight.
Books the last thing in mind.
Eyes so dry I've done blind.
No money in the wallet.
No gas in the tank.
Just a smile, crooked and white.
Escape from the Voodoo Children.
The murder of Humbert.
The smite of the white mask.
I survived this battle,
and I won't walk into the next with intention.
I have no idea why everything is okay because I can see the way everything is changing and usually that scares me it scares me shitless usually but that is exactly what I am saying things don't feel usual it's not just me it's everybody close to me we're all shifting towards something new something less for some something more for others and I see it and I suppose I am startled and a bit cautious but it's not like it would be normally habitually ordinarily conventions are thrown out the proverbial window and all of a sudden I am anxious for change I am ready and willing and salivating some people see this change in me and they are afraid of it afraid of the power that will be prevalent in a world where change enthralls my being rather than the average suffocation yes things will be new and different and old and worn and wonderful and no you cannot fuck this up I simply wont let you I will fight it with everything I've got and either you or your idea will die and I won't cry on your grave I will laugh I will choke on a laughter so loud and gay and bold that if your corpse was not being devoured by the earth your fear might take a journey down your spine in the guise of a chill but it wont because you're already cold cold and dead and unmoving and unruining and unbreathing so figure out what you really want then figure out that I don't want you because if I did I'd come to you and no one else but I haven't so you really need to let it go let me go and then we can go on and you can look back and say that is that girl I used to know but she changed and I'll hear you and it will warm me up in my dark places because this change is the best thing and no one person is to blame no one event or star or god or devil is to blame I can finally see it all and it makes me sick about a lot of people it really does make vomit erupt but with others it makes me powerful and with others it makes me weak and with others it makes me know love or hate or envy but the point here is that clarity came in a form so simple and beautiful and honest and I'll never turn my head back to denial and I'll hope everyday and I'll live everyday and you don't know what I am talking about now but soon you'll see the change soon you'll all know soon we'll all have to give change a kiss and open our door but not today not today not today in this moment I just wanted to say that many of you won't be in my life anymore and the thing here is maybe I am numb but it feels like I am finally pumping again and I've said it before but I never meant it I wanted to mean it so bad that I kept saying it over and over I kept dreaming it and instead of pursuing life I settled for pretending to pursue for writing instead of living for standing instead of jumping and now things have been disrupted shifted turned falling veering landing things are going a different way and you all have to accept it embrace what you can and you better love it fucking love every bit or just turn away from me and never pretend to care again.
Thanks.