Burned Love
Burned Love
♥ DBSK - Yunho/Jaejoong; NC17; Romance Angst Drama;
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
plot bunny by: tvxq_luv thank you my dear =)
banner by: sesshy18 ilysfm =')
an: um lol sorry if the korean is ...incorrect :/ online translator
점화된 사랑
Prologue
She holds onto the hand of her sister as a progression of contractions ripples through her stomach making her scream out in agony. Her sister's whispering sweet words of encouragement to her, brushing back her sweat matted bangs while the doctor has already positioned himself to help the new born out from its mother.
"Joo-eun...Joo-eun, it has to be a girl. Joo-" She clamps her eyes shut tightly, pushing as hard as she can and breathing heavily. "Joo-eun , I..I don't want a boy. I-"
"Shh, don't worry Sun-hi. Don't worry." Joo-eun says softly, her auburn eyes mirroring all the warmth in the world, "You'll have your baby girl." And Sun-hi listens exactly to what her sister says, blindly believing and not knowing that the baby that was to be born will be Sun-hi's worst nightmare coming to reality.
01
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Yunho berates himself, scrambling around the house, trying to find his book bag while jumping up and down and slipping on his socks. Leave it to Yunho to miss another one of his classes. How many did he miss already? Two? Ten? Thirty-five? Oh just peachy.
It's not like Yunho purposefully skips his classes, it's just that...well, he's not really a morning person. Can't say he knows anybody that is so maybe that's where he got his bad influence from -
"Oh my god, I'm going to be late for work!" Yeah, okay never mind. Yunho smiles to himself as he sees his mother running past him, half dressed, hair tousled, without any makeup (not that he's really complaining since he thinks she's much prettier au natural), trying to scavenge around the house for all her papers. "Yunho, where are all my documents?"
"How am I supposed to know? Mom, where's my basketball uniform?" Yunho rummages through all the dirty laundry, not caring if he's throwing them everywhere even if it's a hazard for the both of them when they're not really paying attention to what they're stepping on while running. Could fall and crack open a head, he thinks to himself yet does nothing about it. Hell, that could finally be one of the legitimate excuses he has from the 379479034739 excuses he had told his professors already.
"How am I supposed to know?" She retorts back with a tinge of annoyance, nearly at the brink of pulling her own hair out.
This has always been the daily routine for both mother and son. Ignoring their alarm clocks then waking up an hour or two later going completely berserk in trying to locate all their belongings even though they're already late. They promise themselves that tomorrow they'll be more organized and wake up the moment the alarm clock buzzes but, as usual, they end up waving it off and scrambling about three hours later.
It's a wonder Yunho's mother hasn't been fired already for her tardiness and Yunho hadn't been suspended for all his lates but then again, his mother was dating her boss which Yunho was alright with (sort of) and of course, Yunho was the school's basketball team's star prodigy so him being suspended would be ridiculous.
"Ah, found it!" Hyang-soon squealed in delight rather childishly as she ran back upstairs with a pile of papers in her hands, dropping many on the way up. He thinks his mother is acting a bit too enthusiastic about finding boring documents so he knows it's some stupid love notes her boyfriend (otherwise known as her boss) gives her and she'll probably start reading them over and over again, giggling like a schoolgirl.
Yunho ended up finding his uniform along with his duffel bag upstairs and underneath the toxic wasteland of his bed. He curses under his breath when checking his watch and seeing that he was officially three hours late and doomed. Though there's still fifteen minutes left before gym class starts so Yunho quickly grabs his keys, yells out a goodbye to his mom who replies back with a muffled ‘Bye bye!’ (Yup, she’s reading love letters), and rushes out the door.
The sound of the soles of Nike shoes squeaking against newly polished floors and the rhythmic beat of basketballs being dribbled back and forth, teammates giving pats on the backs and doing layups together, damn this was the best place to be, Yunho thinks to himself. He made it just in the nick of time, apologizing to his coach with a little laugh and a shrug of the shoulders but of course, he wasn't left off the hook that easily and had then ran about five more extra laps than his teammates.
"So, late again eh?" Changmin cocks one eyebrow at Yunho when he comes back from outside, and he just shrugs, smiling.
"Guess so." Yunho yawns tiredly, eyes glazed as he stares, bored at everybody. He notes that a few of them really, sort of suck, the ball bouncing off their feet and hitting them in the eye, and he thanks God that this is not the team that he'll be playing in the regional finals with. He has practice after school anyways, homework be damned.
"Why don't you ask your mom to wake you up in the morning because Jesus fucking Christ, you don't look too hot. And shit, did you shower in the morning? You smell." Changmin scrunches up his face in disgust and Yunho lazily shrugs his shoulders again.
"Didn't have 'nuff time. Mom was late too. I'm sweating. Not my fault."
Changmin rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "Whatever,"
None of the two say anything much to each other after that, both of them just sitting on the bench, Yunho's eyes wandering to random directions while the other shuts his. Yunho lets out another loud yawn, arms rising as he stretches and his spine cracking as his back arches. He wipes a hand across his sweaty forehead and stood up. "Alright, Min. Let's start doing some - whoa. Who's that?"
Changmin cracks open an eyelid, glancing at Yunho's shocked expression to follow his line of direction and frowning when he sees the person that his best friend was gazing at. "Oh. He's nobody."
The auburn haired male twists his head to glare back at Changmin, noting how difficult it was to break away from the unknown teenager. "Obviously he's somebody, Changmin. What's his name?"
Yunho finds it a bit odd that Changmin had just classified somebody as a nobody and hadn't just straight up told him what the guy's name was but shrugs it off anyways, turning back to stare at the unknown male sitting on the opposite side of the gym, reading a book. "Name's Kim Jaejoong."
"Kim...Jaejoong..." Yunho says slowly, feeling the way that name sounds from his lips. He shields his eyes as he glances out the window, seeing the bright sunshine filtering in through the massive windows, the green leaves of the trees fluttering a bit in the mild wind but when he sees Jaejoong, he notices how the boy is dressed completely opposite of the weather.
Instead of sporting some shorts or a t-shirt, this Jaejoong guy is wearing long, black jeans with a maroon sweatshirt, a beanie that shields away half his face that Yunho can hardly catch a few characteristics Jaejoong has ('damn he has some nice lips,' unconsciously ending up having his tongue swipe at his own), a scarf wrapped around his neck, and what irks Yunho more is that, Kim Jaejoong's actually wearing gloves.
He seems so lonely there and Yunho couldn't believe he had never noticed Jaejoong up until now not that it's really his fault due to the fact that Jaejoong practically blends in with the background and it seems like he never speaks actually. Yunho feels like he's completely oblivious to everything around him, finally noticing how his classmates seem to give Jaejoong passing glances. Some were filled with pity, others with nonchalance and what surprised Yunho was that some even harbored hatred in their eyes. Then again, he saw Changmin sport the same expression the moment he mentioned Jaejoong.
"Hey Changmin, why is he dressed like that?" Yunho asks, eyes still locked on the hunched figure.
Named male shrugs, getting up and placing a hand on Yunho's shoulder. "Who cares? Let's just practice our shooting before it's time to go." And reluctantly, Yunho takes the ball Changmin passes to him, giving one last look to Kim Jaejoong.
"I thought you loved me!" She screamed, fisting his shirt in her pale trembling hands. She didn't have to hear the following, piercing words to know that he had never from the beginning loved her.
He laughs, crisp and bitter. "It's just like you. To believe in such tedious feelings the moment you have sex with somebody." And he grabs her hands and drops them away from him. "I'm not ready for a commitment especially with you."
She doesn't say anything as the echo of retreating footsteps feels like a stab in the heart, the knife twisting further and further. Once he was completely out of sight was when she fell to the ground, clutching at her chest and shuddering as her body shook with loneliness, fear, and anguish. "But...I'm pregnant." She whispers her confession to nobody.
Jaejoong lifts the covers closer to his neck as he snuggles inside the warmth of his bed, staring listlessly outside as the sun shines bright and the sky is as blue as the ocean.
He tries not to think about how much he’d love to go outside now, bask in the sunlight and enjoy the fresh air but sadly, he cannot. The heat would’ve driven him mad what with him wearing all these layers that were explicably meant for colder days.
Besides, he already receives strange looks everyday from his classmates, there was no need for complete strangers to stare at him in that same manner.
Jaejoong sighs softly, staring at the finger that’s playing around with his sweatshirt. ‘It doesn’t hurt anymore,’ he thinks dully to himself, the charred, dead skin the only sole reminder of that tortuous night that he let himself see. Everything else - his neck, arms, legs - were covered with large, ugly brown marks that marred him, felt like a horrible shield that was protecting his true beauty inside because all he saw in the mirrors (the ones he hadn’t broken already) was a disgusting creature. Something so disgusting that its own mother hated it so much to try and hurt it.
That was why Jaejoong covered himself, locked himself inside his own bedroom whenever he came home so as to give his mother the comfort of pretending he never existed. Jaejoong didn’t hate his mother, not even the slightest bit. He felt sorry for her, the pain she had to go through from the heartbreak of the man she loved using her just for her body then leaving as if nothing had happened between them. Jaejoong was a constant reminder of that man seeing how he looks exactly him. It was no wonder his mother wants revenge and he couldn’t blame her.
Ever since he could remember, Jaejoong knew that he had done something wrong to his mother because when other children from kindergarten had their mothers’ come pick them up, give them a hug and a kiss, and take them by the hand as they walked home, Jaejoong went home alone. Joo-eun, his aunt, came to his school one day and he was deliriously happy having somebody walk him home. For awhile she kept doing just that, picking him up, hugs and kisses, asking what he did at school today, if he made any new friends, exactly like a real mother would do. And it felt so, so very good.
Joo-eun had always loved him even if her sister felt the complete opposite, replaced all his hurt that his mother would inflict on him with tenderness and care. Joo-eun probably cared for him like he was her son and not Sun-hi’s only because Joo-eun wasn’t blessed with the ability to have children on her own and maybe that was the sole reason why Joo-eun was no longer with him today.
Jaejoong lets out a shuddered breath, shutting his eyes tightly.
Nine years.
It was nine years since Joo-eun had been killed. If only he hadn’t run out in the middle of the road, utterly delighted playing catch with his aunt and would have listened to Joo-eun screaming at the top of her lungs for him to move out of the way as a speeding car rushed towards him, she would have been alive and maybe could have taken him away from his mother’s harsh words.
Losing both her love and her sister and left with just Jaejoong, Sun-hi was angered beyond belief and what resulted was his current state. Jaejoong didn't make a sound as tears trail down his cheeks, finding that all his heart ever wanted was to be loved.
an: so um . yeah =)
♥ DBSK - Yunho/Jaejoong; NC17; Romance Angst Drama;
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
plot bunny by: tvxq_luv thank you my dear =)
banner by: sesshy18 ilysfm =')
an: um lol sorry if the korean is ...incorrect :/ online translator
점화된 사랑
Prologue
She holds onto the hand of her sister as a progression of contractions ripples through her stomach making her scream out in agony. Her sister's whispering sweet words of encouragement to her, brushing back her sweat matted bangs while the doctor has already positioned himself to help the new born out from its mother.
"Joo-eun...Joo-eun, it has to be a girl. Joo-" She clamps her eyes shut tightly, pushing as hard as she can and breathing heavily. "Joo-eun , I..I don't want a boy. I-"
"Shh, don't worry Sun-hi. Don't worry." Joo-eun says softly, her auburn eyes mirroring all the warmth in the world, "You'll have your baby girl." And Sun-hi listens exactly to what her sister says, blindly believing and not knowing that the baby that was to be born will be Sun-hi's worst nightmare coming to reality.
01
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Yunho berates himself, scrambling around the house, trying to find his book bag while jumping up and down and slipping on his socks. Leave it to Yunho to miss another one of his classes. How many did he miss already? Two? Ten? Thirty-five? Oh just peachy.
It's not like Yunho purposefully skips his classes, it's just that...well, he's not really a morning person. Can't say he knows anybody that is so maybe that's where he got his bad influence from -
"Oh my god, I'm going to be late for work!" Yeah, okay never mind. Yunho smiles to himself as he sees his mother running past him, half dressed, hair tousled, without any makeup (not that he's really complaining since he thinks she's much prettier au natural), trying to scavenge around the house for all her papers. "Yunho, where are all my documents?"
"How am I supposed to know? Mom, where's my basketball uniform?" Yunho rummages through all the dirty laundry, not caring if he's throwing them everywhere even if it's a hazard for the both of them when they're not really paying attention to what they're stepping on while running. Could fall and crack open a head, he thinks to himself yet does nothing about it. Hell, that could finally be one of the legitimate excuses he has from the 379479034739 excuses he had told his professors already.
"How am I supposed to know?" She retorts back with a tinge of annoyance, nearly at the brink of pulling her own hair out.
This has always been the daily routine for both mother and son. Ignoring their alarm clocks then waking up an hour or two later going completely berserk in trying to locate all their belongings even though they're already late. They promise themselves that tomorrow they'll be more organized and wake up the moment the alarm clock buzzes but, as usual, they end up waving it off and scrambling about three hours later.
It's a wonder Yunho's mother hasn't been fired already for her tardiness and Yunho hadn't been suspended for all his lates but then again, his mother was dating her boss which Yunho was alright with (sort of) and of course, Yunho was the school's basketball team's star prodigy so him being suspended would be ridiculous.
"Ah, found it!" Hyang-soon squealed in delight rather childishly as she ran back upstairs with a pile of papers in her hands, dropping many on the way up. He thinks his mother is acting a bit too enthusiastic about finding boring documents so he knows it's some stupid love notes her boyfriend (otherwise known as her boss) gives her and she'll probably start reading them over and over again, giggling like a schoolgirl.
Yunho ended up finding his uniform along with his duffel bag upstairs and underneath the toxic wasteland of his bed. He curses under his breath when checking his watch and seeing that he was officially three hours late and doomed. Though there's still fifteen minutes left before gym class starts so Yunho quickly grabs his keys, yells out a goodbye to his mom who replies back with a muffled ‘Bye bye!’ (Yup, she’s reading love letters), and rushes out the door.
The sound of the soles of Nike shoes squeaking against newly polished floors and the rhythmic beat of basketballs being dribbled back and forth, teammates giving pats on the backs and doing layups together, damn this was the best place to be, Yunho thinks to himself. He made it just in the nick of time, apologizing to his coach with a little laugh and a shrug of the shoulders but of course, he wasn't left off the hook that easily and had then ran about five more extra laps than his teammates.
"So, late again eh?" Changmin cocks one eyebrow at Yunho when he comes back from outside, and he just shrugs, smiling.
"Guess so." Yunho yawns tiredly, eyes glazed as he stares, bored at everybody. He notes that a few of them really, sort of suck, the ball bouncing off their feet and hitting them in the eye, and he thanks God that this is not the team that he'll be playing in the regional finals with. He has practice after school anyways, homework be damned.
"Why don't you ask your mom to wake you up in the morning because Jesus fucking Christ, you don't look too hot. And shit, did you shower in the morning? You smell." Changmin scrunches up his face in disgust and Yunho lazily shrugs his shoulders again.
"Didn't have 'nuff time. Mom was late too. I'm sweating. Not my fault."
Changmin rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "Whatever,"
None of the two say anything much to each other after that, both of them just sitting on the bench, Yunho's eyes wandering to random directions while the other shuts his. Yunho lets out another loud yawn, arms rising as he stretches and his spine cracking as his back arches. He wipes a hand across his sweaty forehead and stood up. "Alright, Min. Let's start doing some - whoa. Who's that?"
Changmin cracks open an eyelid, glancing at Yunho's shocked expression to follow his line of direction and frowning when he sees the person that his best friend was gazing at. "Oh. He's nobody."
The auburn haired male twists his head to glare back at Changmin, noting how difficult it was to break away from the unknown teenager. "Obviously he's somebody, Changmin. What's his name?"
Yunho finds it a bit odd that Changmin had just classified somebody as a nobody and hadn't just straight up told him what the guy's name was but shrugs it off anyways, turning back to stare at the unknown male sitting on the opposite side of the gym, reading a book. "Name's Kim Jaejoong."
"Kim...Jaejoong..." Yunho says slowly, feeling the way that name sounds from his lips. He shields his eyes as he glances out the window, seeing the bright sunshine filtering in through the massive windows, the green leaves of the trees fluttering a bit in the mild wind but when he sees Jaejoong, he notices how the boy is dressed completely opposite of the weather.
Instead of sporting some shorts or a t-shirt, this Jaejoong guy is wearing long, black jeans with a maroon sweatshirt, a beanie that shields away half his face that Yunho can hardly catch a few characteristics Jaejoong has ('damn he has some nice lips,' unconsciously ending up having his tongue swipe at his own), a scarf wrapped around his neck, and what irks Yunho more is that, Kim Jaejoong's actually wearing gloves.
He seems so lonely there and Yunho couldn't believe he had never noticed Jaejoong up until now not that it's really his fault due to the fact that Jaejoong practically blends in with the background and it seems like he never speaks actually. Yunho feels like he's completely oblivious to everything around him, finally noticing how his classmates seem to give Jaejoong passing glances. Some were filled with pity, others with nonchalance and what surprised Yunho was that some even harbored hatred in their eyes. Then again, he saw Changmin sport the same expression the moment he mentioned Jaejoong.
"Hey Changmin, why is he dressed like that?" Yunho asks, eyes still locked on the hunched figure.
Named male shrugs, getting up and placing a hand on Yunho's shoulder. "Who cares? Let's just practice our shooting before it's time to go." And reluctantly, Yunho takes the ball Changmin passes to him, giving one last look to Kim Jaejoong.
"I thought you loved me!" She screamed, fisting his shirt in her pale trembling hands. She didn't have to hear the following, piercing words to know that he had never from the beginning loved her.
He laughs, crisp and bitter. "It's just like you. To believe in such tedious feelings the moment you have sex with somebody." And he grabs her hands and drops them away from him. "I'm not ready for a commitment especially with you."
She doesn't say anything as the echo of retreating footsteps feels like a stab in the heart, the knife twisting further and further. Once he was completely out of sight was when she fell to the ground, clutching at her chest and shuddering as her body shook with loneliness, fear, and anguish. "But...I'm pregnant." She whispers her confession to nobody.
Jaejoong lifts the covers closer to his neck as he snuggles inside the warmth of his bed, staring listlessly outside as the sun shines bright and the sky is as blue as the ocean.
He tries not to think about how much he’d love to go outside now, bask in the sunlight and enjoy the fresh air but sadly, he cannot. The heat would’ve driven him mad what with him wearing all these layers that were explicably meant for colder days.
Besides, he already receives strange looks everyday from his classmates, there was no need for complete strangers to stare at him in that same manner.
Jaejoong sighs softly, staring at the finger that’s playing around with his sweatshirt. ‘It doesn’t hurt anymore,’ he thinks dully to himself, the charred, dead skin the only sole reminder of that tortuous night that he let himself see. Everything else - his neck, arms, legs - were covered with large, ugly brown marks that marred him, felt like a horrible shield that was protecting his true beauty inside because all he saw in the mirrors (the ones he hadn’t broken already) was a disgusting creature. Something so disgusting that its own mother hated it so much to try and hurt it.
That was why Jaejoong covered himself, locked himself inside his own bedroom whenever he came home so as to give his mother the comfort of pretending he never existed. Jaejoong didn’t hate his mother, not even the slightest bit. He felt sorry for her, the pain she had to go through from the heartbreak of the man she loved using her just for her body then leaving as if nothing had happened between them. Jaejoong was a constant reminder of that man seeing how he looks exactly him. It was no wonder his mother wants revenge and he couldn’t blame her.
Ever since he could remember, Jaejoong knew that he had done something wrong to his mother because when other children from kindergarten had their mothers’ come pick them up, give them a hug and a kiss, and take them by the hand as they walked home, Jaejoong went home alone. Joo-eun, his aunt, came to his school one day and he was deliriously happy having somebody walk him home. For awhile she kept doing just that, picking him up, hugs and kisses, asking what he did at school today, if he made any new friends, exactly like a real mother would do. And it felt so, so very good.
Joo-eun had always loved him even if her sister felt the complete opposite, replaced all his hurt that his mother would inflict on him with tenderness and care. Joo-eun probably cared for him like he was her son and not Sun-hi’s only because Joo-eun wasn’t blessed with the ability to have children on her own and maybe that was the sole reason why Joo-eun was no longer with him today.
Jaejoong lets out a shuddered breath, shutting his eyes tightly.
Nine years.
It was nine years since Joo-eun had been killed. If only he hadn’t run out in the middle of the road, utterly delighted playing catch with his aunt and would have listened to Joo-eun screaming at the top of her lungs for him to move out of the way as a speeding car rushed towards him, she would have been alive and maybe could have taken him away from his mother’s harsh words.
Losing both her love and her sister and left with just Jaejoong, Sun-hi was angered beyond belief and what resulted was his current state. Jaejoong didn't make a sound as tears trail down his cheeks, finding that all his heart ever wanted was to be loved.
an: so um . yeah =)