I Hate Jung Yunho
Title: I HATE JUNG YUNHO
Author: Ukel_chan (UkeL_chan)
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Comedy [<---- GREATLY ATTEMPTED )': BUT EPIC PHAIL.], Drama
Warnings: Vulgar Language, Crazy Situations, Stupid People, Randomness, Collaborations With Almost All Korean Singers Including Big Bang, BoA, Super Junior, etc., MAJOR OCC-NESS, & all created by a highly drunk author
Summary: CANDY BOYS COUPLE PAGEANT HAS BEEN LAUNCHED! VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE COUPLE TO WIN THE COMPETITION!
When all the girls in your school start to pair up two guys together and start having an online fandom for each couple and you see that you and your roommate/enemy/secret lover are on the list with several hundreds of votes, you know your in trouble.
Arguments, bitch fights, cheating, drag queens, old ladies, perverted people, COUPLE PAGEANTS? The couple YunJae must push aside their differences and act like a couple to win the trophy but will they fall in love through the course of this competition? FIND OUT! OH, AND VOTE PLEASE XD
AN: 1, 2, 3, 4, FOURRRR HOT I-I-I-ISSUE!
F-Locked in 3 Days
16: PFFT, HELLO? IT'S CALLED HOSU.
[MY BRA IS TOO TIGHT] May 26th, 2009 - 9:27:33PM
Program; Windows Live Messenger
Participants: Kim JaeJoong [ mytoesarenicerthanyours@hotmail.com ]
Dong Yong Bae [ crustychickenwangs@hotmail.com ]
Lee Seung Hyun [ flowerface9@hotmail.com ]
Choikang Changmin [ doyouknowthequadraticformulaforapencil?@hotmail.com ]
Boo!Jae>: <3
Boo!Jae>: to all of you
Boo!Jae>: <3 again.
Boo!Jae>: ('8 you guys are the best friends anybody can ever ask for
Bae$$: D'awwww :'D
MinnieStein: :DD No prolemo~ we owed you after what we said to you :33
PandaRi: Yeah, sorry 'bout that Hyung :D did you get our phone messages?
Bae$$: Hoshit, doode, you might want to get familiar with Yunho because ya'll gon' have to do the questionnaire
Boo!Jae>: =D Tis aiight man, tis aiight cuz we kinda got to "know" each other if y'know what I mean ;D
Boo!Jae>: Y'know THAT familiar
Boo!Jae>: Yesiree , we went there.
MinnieStein: Oh god. Oh my god.
PandaRi: HYUNG, WHAT HAPPENED TO "SAY NO TO SEX YO"
Bae$$: Aw jesus you actually followed my advice in getting familiar with the Ho's body?
Bae$$: ....
Bae$$: HOW WAS IT?! WAS IT FREAKING HOT? I THINK IT WAS FREAKING HOT. TELL ME ALL THE DEETS! GO FULL OUT! I WANT HOW HIGH OR LOW THE MOANING WAS AND WHAT TYPE OF LUBE YA'LL USED && I CAN TOTALLY SEE YUNHO IS A VERY KINKY TYPE OF GUY SO WHAT KIND OF TOYS DID YOU USE?!
PandaRi: O______________O
MinnieStein: Please continue this conversation when I am NOT APART OF THE HOMOCIRCLE
Boo!Jae>: Kay. My sexy orifice has yet to be stretched by the fingers of Jung Yunho. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX.
Boo!Jae>: I wait till after marriage motherfuckers >____> you know i don't roll like that
Boo!Jae>: AND ESPECIALLY WITH JUNG YUNHO.
MinnieStein: TT_____TT I think we need to call Denialcoholics Anonymous because you need a reality check
PandaRi: You're so going to lose your virginity to Yunho >:D
Bae$$: )'8 Maaaaan, i really wanted to know how the sex was.
MinnieStein: Livejournal, JaeHo_detox, go there if you want to read about YunJae sex, you stupid creep.
Boo!Jae: O__________O don't tell me we have our own fanbase.
PandaRi: Okay, we won't tell you that you have your own fanbase.
PandaRi: Yongbaeyah, JaeHyung has his own YunJae fanbase =3
Bae$$: IS THERE PR0N?!
MinnieStein: DUDE. THAT'S SICK. YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS NAKED ++ HAVING SEX?!
Boo!Jae>: I'm never going to look at you the same way ever again.
Boo!Jae>: Never.
PandaRi: Oh my gosh, what if he dreams of us each having sex with each other?
MinnieStein: THERE'S NO WAY I'LL BE PAIRING WITH FLAMBOYANT HOMOSEXUALS LIKE YOURSELVES.
MinnieStein: And even if I do get paired up in a slash pairing, I wouldn't choose any of you fugly people D:< I prefer Brad Pitt <3 Or maybe Orland Bloom? OH MY FUCKING GOSH. OH MY FUCKING GOSH. ROBERT PATTINSON <3 <3 <3
Bae$$: EW, EDWARD CULLEN~
MinnieStein: His name's not Edward Cullen, pffttt. Noob. It's Robert Pattinson, get you facts straight bitch
Bae$$: I'm more of a Team Jacob
MinnieStein: OH MY GOD! BLASPHEMY! YOU'RE ON THE WEREWOLVES SIDE?!
Bae$$: HELLZZZZ YEAH, TAYLOR LAUTNER IS SOOOOOO MUCH HOTTER THAN EDWARD CULLEN!
MinnieStein: ROBERT PATTINSON! NOT EDWARD CULLEN!
Bae$$: Whatever, they're both fugly anyways =D
PandaRi: At least we know that the two of you would be compatible because the two of you don't ever take baths and smell like shit
Boo!Jae>: BAHAHAHAHA, AW MAN, YEAH! CHANGMIN, EVER HEARD OF SOAP?! OR IS THAT YOUR ARCH NEMESIS?!
Bae$$: Aw guys, let's leave poor stinkymin alone. =) it's not his fault that he's terrified of cleanliness.
MinnieStein: FORGET CHUS DX
MinnieStein: I ain't into " .l. " anyways
Boo!Jae>: Omfg, that's such a hot pixel *Q*
MinnieStein: I'm into these " (o )Y( o) " anyways so HAH
PandaRi: Ewww....that looks nasty.
MinnieStein: EWWW, YOU LOOK NASTY, STUPID CHILD!
Bae$$: There's so many holes o___o where do you put your pen15?
MinnieStein: YOU DON'T PUT YOUR PEN15 ANYWHERE , THEY'RE BREASTS! And rather huge ones if i do say so myself ;D i like em big && round
Boo!Jae: it looks like two olives and a wishbone.
MinnieStein: You know what?
Boo!Jae: What?
MinnieStein: Shut up.
Boo!Jae: D'8
PandaRi: So, Jaehyung, where's Yunho?
Bae$$: Yeah, shouldn't you guys like, Christen the ship or something?
MinnieStein: By
PandaRi: engaging
Bae$$: in
MinnieStein: rough
PandaRi: hot
Bae$$: knitting?
MinnieStein: wtfux? it was supposed to be "by engaging in rough hot sex" not knitting you stupid short kid!
Bae$$: HEY. DON'T BRING MY HEIGHT INTO THIS, AIIGHT MAN? IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAVEN'T YET REACHED MY GROWTH SPURT YET.
Bae$$: BUT IT'LL COME MAN, IT'LL COME AND I'LL BE TALLER THAN MICHAEL JORDAN. YES I WILL.
Boo!Jae>: Keep dreaming , shawty.
MinnieStein: No but really Jae, where's Yunho?
Boo!Jae>: Oh, well, I went to go get a shower after we came home && reunite with my lover, Nair && then when I came back, I saw Yunho near the answering machine reading the messages that were left
Boo!Jae>: but the moment when I came in he just like...left the room, kinda really pissed off.
PandaRi: oh....no
Bae$$: You're not serious, are you?
MinnieStein: this is bad...very very bad.
Boo!Jae>: What? What's wrong? o.o
MinnieStein: Um....well, you know how you were kinda sorta mad at us?
PandaRi: Yeah, and we like, left you a few messages trying to convince you again for you not to...use Yunho
Boo!Jae>: hoshit.
Bae$$: Yeah....and since Yunho kinda sorta really loves you and he um...hears that you're just using him to get money && a trip + to get back at Junsu
PandaRi: that would really hurt a guy like him
MinnieStein: Yeah, i've noticed he's actually a real romantic
Boo!Jae>: Oh... jesus...
Bae$$: er...are you going to be okay?
Boo!Jae>: maybe...do you think my chances of winning will be smaller now? T____T
MinnieStein: JAEJOONG!
PandaRi: JAEJOONG!
Bae$$: JAEJOONG!
Boo!Jae>: WHAT?!
PandaRi: You should be more concerned about Yunho's feelings that was HURT because of YOU than your stupid prize!
MinnieStein: That's cold man.
Boo!Jae>: And here we go again.
Boo!Jae>: I really hate it when you guys always assume that just because maybe Yunho likes me that I should like him as wel....Oh, he came back, I g2g.
Boo!Jae>: Cya.
*Boo!Jae> has now left the conversation*
--------
Phonecall Transcript l May 26th, 2009 l 8:31:03PM
JS: Junsu YC: Yoochun
JS: ALOHA!
YC: YOOO, WHADDAP BRAH?!
JS: NAH MACH, NAH MACH YO.
YC:WHY'D YA CALL?!
JS: CAN'T YOU'RE LOVELY , AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC JUNSUYAH CALL WITHOUT THERE BEING ANY REASON AT ALL?!
YC: You don't normally do that though. There's always SOMETHING you want from me.
JS: Like your virginity?
YC: Yes, exactly that.
JS: Do you wanna give it?
YC: NO! I'm saving it for my MinnieMouse
JS: You're saving your viginity for your pen15? If masturbating is like losing your virginity then I lost mine when I was 9
YC: YOU STARTED MASTURBATING WHEN YOU WERE NINE?!
JS: HEY, HEY. DON'T HATE. DON'T HATE. I CAN'T HELP IT IF MILEY CYRUS LOOKS GREAT WHEN SHE SINGS 'PUMPING UP THE PARTY NOW' And really, I WAS pumping up the party if y'know what I mean. HARHARHAR
YC: I thought you were homo
JS: Oh, I most definitely AM, HONEY!
YC: Then how do you jack off to Miley Cyrus
JS: She sings through her nose, you can't blame me for thinking she was a he.
YC: True dat, true dat.
JS: Hmm, well guess what?
YC: What?
JS: Yunho came and spoke to me
YC: WHUUUUATT?! WHEN?! WHERE? WHY? WHAT DID HE SAY?
JS: Well....I don't know if you wanna hear what he said 'cause your heart may just break in two.
YC: NO, TELL ME! WHAT HAPPENED?
JS: Um...okay, ever heard of something called *cough* Ho *cough* Su?
YC: ...What? I couldn't hear because you were coughing
JS: Um, *coughcough* Ho *sneeze* Su?
YC: HoSu?
JS: ...er, yeah.
YC: What's that?
JS: HoSu...Yunho...Me....couple....geddit?
YC: ...You and Yunho as a....THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTINGEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS HATED EACH OTHER WITH A BURNING PASSION!
JS: We do b-
YC: AW SHIT, ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GO ALL COUPLE MODE NOW? I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! THAT WHOLE STUPID HATE/LOVE RELATIONSHIP REALLY DOES GO! (8) I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU (8) BUT WAIT, JAEJOONG ALSO HATES YUNHO! BUT JAEJOONG ALSO HATES YOU! SO WHICH COUPLE IS REAL? DUDE , THIS IS LIKE AN EPIC BATTLE OF LUHUVE! TOTALLY PWNAGE OVER STAR WARS MAN.
JS: Dude, calm down, it's not what you think!
YC: OH I KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE INTO U-KNOW YUNHO!
JS: POO, BEFORE I SPANK YOU, SHUT THE FAWK UP.
YC: Like you can run all the way from your room to my room, pfftttt....
JS: Dare me? Cause honestly, I am willing to come over there, rip your pants off to expose your amazingly microscopic Weenie, turn you over, and then take the back of my hand and smack those less-than perky butt of yours.
YC: ...Excuse me? What did you just say?
JS: Smack those less than-
YC: No, no. Sorry, for a moment there I thought I heard you say "expose your amazingly MICROSCOPIC WEENIE" but that couldn't be true. No, no. You didn't say that.
JS: That's exactly what I said.
YC: No, no. You didn't say that cos MOTHERFUCKER EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT I'M THE ONE WITH THE REALZZZ PEN15
JS: Who knows that? Who? NAME ONE PERSON!
YC: THAT'S EASY PEASY!
JS: Okay, go ahead then. One person. Tell me. ENLIGHTEN ME. C'mon bitch, c'mon.
YC: ...Uh...er...m...MY MOM!
JS: ....Do I detect a bit of incest here?
YC: Want me to slap you foo'?
JS: I GOT A STONE IN MY FACE!
YC: ...Wait, what?
JS: Do you wanna know the plan or not?
YC: Sure, sure. Tell me the plan to your oh so fabulous plan.
JS: Never mind, I'm not telling you.
YC: Why not?
JS: Because you said fabulous.
YC: So?
JS: That's the most queer word to say ever.
YC: Fabulous?
JS: Stop saying it!
YC: Fabulous!
JS: Stop it!
YC: Fabulous! Fabulous! Fabulous!
JS: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
YC: FAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOBLESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
JS: I HET CHU!!!!!
YC: BUT I LOB CHU!
JS: Okay! Let's go make love then!
YC: ...Y-You tricked me.
JS: I know. I know. It's cause I'm sexy. I know. It's alright to admit how absolutely attracted you are to me. IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD WITHOUT HAVING TO TOUCH YOURSELF. DO YOU WANT TO FEEL GOOD? OF COURSE YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.
YC: Would you just shut up you stupid narcissistic little manwhore?
JS: *GASPS* OH NO YOU DIDN'T.
YC: Please...I'm begging you, before I explode, tell me what your goddamn plan is.
JS: Okay, okay. Since I'm such a nice, kind angel, I'll tell you.
YC: Kamsahamnida.
JS: Alright. So Yunho heard those voice messages my sexy boyfriend's stupid friends sent them and he heard that JaeJoong was just using Yunho to get back at me. See, I told you that JaeJoong just wants to make me jealous because he just luhuvessss me.
YC: Please, JaeJoong doesn't love you. He loves Yunho but...just doesn't see it right now.
JS: Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that. Well anyway, so that was a huge hit to Yunho's gynormous ego since I told him that JaeJoong doesn't love him. Guess he wanted another competition with me cause he comes up to me saying that - OH, WAIT POO, I'VE GOT ANOTHER INCOMING CALL! I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, OKAY? OKAY.
- - - -
JS: Yuhbaeseyo?
YH: Yo.
JS: Hey, what's up?
YH: Nothing, just talked with BoA about the new addition to the competition.
JS: Cool, what she say?
YH: She accepted, she says that she sent an email to all of the fans and the other couples explaining what's going on.
JS: Sweet, guess we're on the same boat then.
YH: Guess we are.
JS: Just so you know, it's not going to be easy wooing Kim JaeJoong.
YH: I know that.
JS: Then what makes you think that he'll get jealous when he sees us?
YH: JaeJoong's the type of guy that he wants what he doesn't have and he'll do anything in his power to get that thing.
JS: And you're not pissed off that he was just using you?
YH: I can't blame him. I never told him yet that I loved him so it's not like he hurt me on purpose.
JS: Well, we'll just see because I know he'll be jealous of you.
YH: Why is that?
JS: That you get to be in a couple with me.
YH: Oh, don't start. You know he's going to fall for me.
JS: As if. I'm the looker in the couple.
YH: Then what am I?
JS: The one with the moobs.
YH: I DON'T HAVE MOOBS!
JS: You can woo Changmin with those D cups of yours. I know he likes 'em big and round.
YH: Shut the fuck up, bitch.
JS: Oooh, somebody's angry~!
YH: No shit, Sherlock!
JS: That's the most lamest comeback ever.
YH: You know what?
JS: No, what?
YH: Suck my cock.
JS: Suck mine!
YH: No mine!
JS: Mine!
YH: Mine!
JS: Mine!
YH: Mine!
JS: MINE, INFINITY! CAN'T HEAR YOU NO MO' LALALA!
YH: ...
JS: ...
YH: I talked to Heechul, he's going to let JaeJoong bunk with him.
JS: Well that'll go smoothly.
YH: Shut up, that's the best I could do.
JS: How are you managing to get all of this done?
YH: It's cause I'm connected, foo'
JS: Yeah, I remember that time you got me that-
YH: I remember. No need to go back down memory lane.
JS: Sure, whatever.
YH: ....
JS: ....
*Awkward Silence*
YH: 'kay, well I'm going to go then.
JS: Yeah, kay.
YH: Bye.
JS: Bye.
--------
From: Jung Yunho [ aznboibballer@hotmail.com ]
To: BoA [ hugs&kisses@hotmail.com ]
Sent: May 26th, 2009 - 8:25:39PM
Subject: No Subject;
Hey BoA! Um, just wanna say kamsahamnida for being so understanding and supporting YunJae this much to actually kinda ruin your pageant for me. I know you've worked really hard on it and it must've sucked that I had to add in HoSu AND remove YunJae just to make JaeJoong jealous. I'm really appreciative that you actually talked to the Dorm Advisors to let us switch roommates. I can't believe the dorm advisors are also YunJae shippers...and they're like, in their mid-40s.(Btw, great idea for hooking JaeJoong up with Heechul. He thinks that I'm aggravating to be near, watch what it's like living with the Queen of Bitches ;D)
I just feel kinda bad that Junsu only agreed to being HoSu with me is cause he thought that if by being with me he can make JaeJoong jealous and fall in love with him than me. Which is totally not going to happen. Anyways, kamsahamnida again <3 And I'm totally going to be forever in debt of you :D
PS. The site is looking great =D I love the new updated pictures :] + Our interviews.
PS 2. When do we start the Vlogs? 0:
--------
From: BoA [ hugs&kisses@hotmail.com ]
To: Jung Yunho [ aznboibballer@hotmail.com ]
Sent: May 26th, 2009 - 9:10:44PM
Subject: RE - No Subject;
Oh hey sweetie! =) No problemo <3333 I'm totally rooting for you guys (8) YUNJAE! YUNJAE! YUNJAE! (8) Hehehe lol :3 Right from the get-go, I totally fell in love with you guys - AS A COUPLE :D <33 You both totally need to hook up with each other and make schmexy babies together (Jaeyah bearing the children , of course xD)
It totally sucks that Jaeyah can't see how much he's totally in love with you, I think it's because he's been working so hard every single day of his life just trying to support all his sisters and his mother that he really wants this break and the money. (I think I may just donate a few thousands cuz I think 2,000 euros is not a lot D:) && Baby, I think it's absolutely totally romantic that you're taking such a step to win Jaeyah over =3 You totally have my blessings <333
Just so you know, I sent an email to all of the fans and the other couples just to let them know about HoSu and how YunJae's been removed keeping the whole plan on the DL. They're such a totally amazing fanbase for you guys and honestly, everybody thinks that YunJae is the best couple in the world and that you guys totally have to hook up (as i mentioned before :P).
But seriously, you got to keep it nice and clean with Junsu and seriously fabricate that you guys are absolutely digging each other (as sick as that sounds D;) in front of JaeJoong so please, no bashing each other with baseball bats! :DD I love you <33 && again, no problem for the whole Let's-Make-JaeJoong-Jealous cos it's totally a blast for me :33
PS. AH, CHANK CHU SO MUCHIE~ :DD <333 We've really been working hard to make everything so ubertastically ahhhhmayzing :33 Nice to receive recognition~!
PS 2. Oh sweetie, you can start whenever you like =D it's just really an update so need to stress! It's not really necessary :3 We just added it cos we just adore yaoi and need our daily dosage! <3333
--------
Candy Boys Couple Pageant
New Announcement
[Please Click the Following to View Hidden Message]
**Kim JaeJoong - Blocked
---------
Program; Notepad
Journal Entry # 289 - May 27th, 2009 - 12:29:44 AM
Current Music: Got Your Money - Say Anything - PUNK GOES CRUNK
Warning: If you are not Kim JaeJoong and your name starts with "Y" and ends with "unho" then please, step away from this journal because it contains highly offensive material to the individual that's name starts with a "Y" and ends with an "unho."
FUCK MY LIFE!
FUCK MY LIFE!
FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCK D;AKJD;AKJ;ADKJA;URWEPURPWEURPFIJVB;SZJCV;ADJFALDFNA;DJFPQEUA;DFJA;DJFKAADA;KADJPWEURPAUAUWPRUAS;DFJA;DJFA;DJFA;DJA;DJA;DLKJA;DKJA;JA;KJA;DJA;DJADJA;DKJA;DKJWPDUA;JKD;AJFD;AJK;ADJKA;S
NO FUCK YOU HEECHUL , I WILL NOT STOP SCREAMING WHILE I AM PUNCHING THE KEYBOARD ON MY NICE AND FANTASTIC DELL LAPTOP! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! WANT ME TO COME OVER THERE AND TAKE THE CUCUMBERS OFF YOUR EYELIDS?! EXACTLY. EXACTLY. GO TAKE YOUR DAMN BEAUTY SLEEP COS YOU REALLY NEED IT, FUGLY!
Now, where was I? Oh, I remember.
FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING FUCKISH LIFEEEEE!!!!!!! ;KJDA;KJEPWURAIUWPURQPEUPAUPQIUPQUEPURIPAEUFD;AVJX.NVX,MVCXMAL;DJ;WJPERUQPURQPUPAFIDA;JFD;AD
WHYYYYY?!!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
WAIIIIIIIIIII
*BASHES HEAD INTO KEYBOARD BUT ONLY DOES THE ASTERIKS FOR IT TO PRETEND LIKE I AM COS I CAN'T ACTUALLY DO IT*
Okay. Take deep breaths Kim JaeJoong. Take deeeeeeep breaths. In, out. In, out. In, out. That's it. That's it. *sigh* Oh, wow. I'm feeling a lot better. A lot better....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ALL MY HARDWORK AND ENDURANCE TO PUT UP WITH STUPID FUCKING JUNG YUNHO FOR OUR STUPID FUCKING YUNJAE JUST WENT DOWN THE DRAIN! IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR AT ALL!
I bet you're wondering what the hell is going on, right? Why is this beautiful and oh so sexy Kim JaeJoong (NO, BITCH! I SAID KIM JAEJOONG NOT KIM HEECHUL! GAWSH, CLEAN OUT THE MOUNTAIN OF WAX IN YO EARS MAN. CLEAN IT OUT) in a room with the smelly and fugly Kim Heechul? Why is our beautiful and oh so sexy Kim JaeJoong saying 'Fuck my life' when his life is so amazingly perfect? Why is our beautiful and oh so sexy Kim JaeJoong so upset? And what the motherfucking crap is he spewing about YunJae going down the drains since all ya'll are hardcore YunJae shippers, you won't tolerate no shit like that.
Well guess what?
IT'S TRUE.
IT IS TRUE IN ALL ITS STUPID GLORY!
YUNJAE IS DEAD!
And you wanna know who replaced YunJae? Oh, oh I'll tell you. Ever heard of HoSu? Don't take a double take cos it's true. HoSu. Say it with me now. HoSu. HoSu. HoSu. HoSuHoSuHoSuHoSuHOSUHOSUHOSUHOSUSHSHOHSOHDOSHDOSHDADF;ADHA;DH;AERWOURJ;ADJA;DKJA;FJA;LGHDA;DFHA;HFK KA;
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THOUGHT THEY HATED EACH OTHER?! WHAT IS THIS? WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS. SHIT? ARE THEY TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART?! OH, WELL IT'S BEEN BROKEN! FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS :
Yeah, I know. It's been sliced. My heart )'8
I can't believe Yunho and Junsu are together now in the competition. Jesus Christ, Yunho had no right to cancel YunJae and to kick me out of my own dorm. Oh, but apparently it's official because he got the signature of the dorm advisor to kick me out and he got the signature of BoA to cancel YunJae and add HoSu instead. Oh, and HoSu stands in second place because they receive all the previous votes and everything that was YunJae before.
Honestly? HONESTLY?!
On the sheet of paper that the dorm advisor gave us it said that I had to bunk with Heechul because he doesn't have a roommate. Why couldn't I just bunk with Changmin? Why couldn't I bunk with TaeYang? Why couldn't I bunk with Top for the love of God!? But I just had to bunk with this...son of a bitch.
Tsk, this is all Changmin's fault! He's the idiot that had to leave messages on the answering machine of YUNJAE knowing full well that BOTH OF US have access to the answering machine and can listen to it whenever we like. Man, he's such a genius right? SUCH A GENIUS! SUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHH A GENIUS! I MEAN, EINSTEIN GOTS NOTHING ON HIM, YO. NOTHING!
...slut.
God, this all has to be a stupid nightmare. A nightmare. That's just it. Yeah....a nightmare. Maybe I should just take a little *yawn* nap...and...see how it -
++++
FUCK MY LIFE!
FUCK MY LIFE!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
IT'S TRUE! YUNJAE IS GONE AND HOSU IS HERE! DAMN IT! DAMMMMMN ITTTTT!!!! I really want to punch something. Really really hard. I'd punch Heechul but I'm scared he might go berserk on me especially when he's having his beauty sleep right now. (Honestly, no matter how many times he tries to do those face masks, he'll still look like a donkey to me)
Well, I'll tell you everything how it went down and I'll try my utmost hardest not to spazz. I will not spazz. Kim JaeJoong will not spazz. No spazzing. No spazzing. Spazz not. Not spazz. Yes to no spazzing. No to yes spazzing.
There.
Better.
Alright, well I was talking on msn with my three FABOLA (fabulous) friends when they dropped the bomb on me after I told them about Yunho reaction after seeing me come back inside when he was near the answering machine. And if that wasn't enough, Yunho just HAD to come in at that same time and he was whistling as if everything was alright between us which should be like that since nothing really DID happen.
But I still felt...bad and so I turned my computer off and got out of bed to like...give him a...well, a little...tiny, REALLY TINY AND NOT AT ALL SIGNIFICANT IN ANYWAY THAT MATTERS....kiss JUST AS AN APOLOGY BECAUSE I FELT BAD FOR HIM when he opened up my closet, pulled out my duffel bag that I haven't used in forever and start throwing all my clothing in there.
I was all like: What the fuck man?
He was all like: (8) Cuz bitch, I'll cripple yo style~(8)
I was all like: Dude, what the hell are you doing?
He was all like: (8) THIS DEDICATED TO ALL THE PRETTY PRETTY GIRLS! EVEN THE UGLY GIRLS COS YOU'RE PRETTY IN MY EYES ANYWAYS (8)
I was all like: YUNHO! STOP PACKING MY CLOTHING!
He was all like: *turns around to look at me, grinning* You're right! You should pack your OWN clothing!
I was all like: Uh...no. I live here. Why should I pack?
He was all like: You USE to live here. You don't anymore.
I was all like: O_____o Who says that?
He was all like: Oh, mianhae! This is for you. *throws a letter on ground*
I was all like: ... *picks up letter&opens it*
This is what it said;
Dear Kim JaeJoong,
It has come to the attention of the entire East end that the two tenants of dorm room #385 , that being you , Kim JaeJoong and your partner, Jung Yunho, that the two of you are a consistent problem around that area. With your constant bickering, use of vulgarity, violence, we have decided that the two of you cannot remain to live together anymore. Therefore, we are sending you, Kim JaeJoong, to live with another available tenant. We apologize for the inconvenience but you must remove yourself from the premises in under 24 hours.
Thank you,
Abu Punani
Yunho: Right, 24 hours. So better start packing cause god knows you have a GAZILLION clothing and accessories and then your beauty products like Nai-
Me: Yunho! What is this?! Why are they kicking me out?!
Yunho: Mm, I dunno.
Me: ...This isn't fair.
Yunho: Don't complain to me, I'm not the one kicking you out.
Me: Are you angry at me?
Yunho: Why would I be?
Me: ...Cause...I saw you checking the answering machine and...Changmin...what Changmin said-
Yunho: Oh, that? Yeah, whatever. I don't care.
Me: Look, if you're upset that I was-
Yunho: What makes you think I'm upset? It's not like I really love you that I'd be hurt.
Me: It seems like you are hurt.
Yunho: I'm not hurt.
Me: Really? It looks lik-
Yunho: Just pack up your fucking shit and get the fuck out.
And I don't know what to say because I've never really seen Yunho act this way with me. Ever. So I just silently pack all my things and just when I was about to go, Yunho started to talk;
Him: Oh, and JaeJoong, wait.
Me: *turns around, smiling* I knew it! This is just some sick joke of yours! Hahahaha, you had me there for a second. Very funny , man. Very funn-
Him: It's not a joke.
Me: Oh....*smile fades* I thought - I mean, it's just that-
Him: What I wanted to tell you is that you no longer have to endure painful moments with me anymore, pretending that you love me because YunJae is over.
Me: ...
Him: Yup, you must be ecstatic now. You're finally free.
Me: Who gave you the right to cancel YunJae? I'm just as big a part of it as much as you are so I get to have a say in whether or not YunJae lives!
Him: Really? Well that's too bad because I already discussed it with BoA and she's cool with it.
Me: What's going to happen to the competition then?! It's the second most popular couple here and we can't just DROP out!
Him: Oh, it's alright. There's going to be a couple replacing us.
Me: Who-
Then somebody knocked on our door and Yunho nodded for me to open it. That's when I saw IT! Junsu, with his blanket tucked underneath his armpit, his luggage behind him, and a huge cheesy smile on his face said;
Junsu: Hey baby!
Me: Hey-
Junsu: Oh, not you. *walks by me&hugs Yunho* Hey baby!
Yunho: Hey there.
And it was a huge slap to my face because none of the two guys that were fighthing over me, wanted me anymore, and they're now together. Whether it's real or not, I don't know but it got's to be real since it brought the two of them together again. Only, not as best friends but as a couple. I didn't wanna stay any longer with the happy couple (which didn't include me) so I just grab my stuff and get out of there as quick as possible.
SO, THIS IS WHY I SAY THIS;
FUCK MY LIFE
FUCK MY LIFE
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK MY LIFE!!! DA;KADJKAERJKPWUIRPEAUAPVUJ;CJV;JKAS;JKFAPEUWPAIEAPJDFA;DJFA;DJA;DJ;AJDA;DJA;DJEWPRUWPQEUQPFUEA
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER.
HONESTLY.
HONESTLY.
LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.
LIKE I GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
HA.
NOW I DON'T NEED TO DEAL WITH DRAMA QUEENS LIKE THEM (excluding Heechul but he wears Prada so ;D I don't mind) AND I DON'T NEED TO DEAL WITH YAOI FANGIRLS LIKE BOA AND HER DAMN STUPID CREW. AND I DON'T NEED TO EVER HEAR OR LOOK AT THAT STUPID CANDY BOYS COUPLE PAGEANT WEBSITE ANYMOAR. AND I CAN JUST LIVE IN PEACE AND FUCKING QUIET FOR THE REST OF MY DAMN SCHOOL LIFE!
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Consequences: If you are not Kim JaeJoong and your name starts with "Y" and ends with "unho" and you have not yet stepped away from this journal then please be aware of the consequences that will entail after your poor decision to not follow my instructed warning.
Please choose the following as your rightful punishment;
A) Be the loser who has to live with Jung Yunho
B) Be the loser who has to watch Jung Yunho get naked
C) Be the loser who has to listen to Jung Yunho singing to Celine Dion
D) Be the loser who has to ever have known Jung Yunho
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