(no subject)
So, England. Huh. Not as soggy as I expected it to be, which is of the good. Definitely liking all the little shops and boutiques London has to offer, not that I'm exactly drowning in bucketloads of cash. But window-shopping is fun, until I find a job or they decide whether Faith and I get a salary. I'm so over living at the Council, though. I need a place of my own, or at least a place that isn't teeming with mini-Slayers, because I'm even more over that whole deal. I want a bathroom to call my own, so I can cover the counter with froofy girly stuff and not have to worry about anyone else using it up on me. I want a kitchen with a fridge that I don't have to hide my ice cream in a brussels sprouts bag just to make sure it's still there when I want some. I wanna deck the next person who tells me what a hero Spike was.
Yeah, okay, he died saving the world. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Well, tombstone. And maybe he was a hero. And maybe part of me wasn't lying when I told him I loved him. The same part of me that will always love Angel, even though there's no way we could ever be together, because even though I love him, half the time I can't stand him. But most of me... I guess I've grown up. I don't crave that danger anymore. I don't want a taboo relationship with the supposed enemy, I want something real, something more. I want the proverbial white picket fence, complete with 2.5 children, a dog, and a minivan. And I don't even like dogs all that much.
It's not going to be easy to find a guy I can get domestic with, though. We'd have to get used to each other's quirks and habits and idiosyncrasies (thank you Giles and Wesley for the vocabulary boosters) and learn how to share space without getting in each other's way. It takes a long time to develop that kind of intimacy. The only guy in my life that stuck around long enough for us to get that comfortable with one another... well, I think that ship has sailed. Xander used to worship the ground I walked on, and I really took that for granted. I was stupid. But you'd have to be blind *and* stupid not to see the big hunk of studliness he grew into, and one thing I'm not is blind. He was cute then, but now? Total hottie.
Last I knew, Xander was crushing on Fred, which makes sense, I guess. She's like Willow, only... not gay. But now she's with Giles' cousin - and okay, how weird is it getting used to the idea that Giles has family? He never talked about any of them or anything - so I don't know. Maybe Xander and me is a possibility. Or maybe Buffy makes with the clue-getting too late and loses out.
Giles and Wes are totally in their element, rebuilding the Watchers' Council from the ground up. I'm happy for them, even if it is a little wigsome at times. But I guess it'll always be like that - Giles is like a dad to me, and who really wants to think about their dad having sex? Especially when their own sex life is so non-existant that there are nuns who get more action than me.
Xander and I have both had abysmal love lives, and I can't help thinking that maybe the reason has been right under my nose all along. No one else was right for either of us, because we were meant for each other. Or maybe I've been reading too many cheap romance paperbacks since Sunnydale went critical. It's a toss-up.
Yeah, okay, he died saving the world. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Well, tombstone. And maybe he was a hero. And maybe part of me wasn't lying when I told him I loved him. The same part of me that will always love Angel, even though there's no way we could ever be together, because even though I love him, half the time I can't stand him. But most of me... I guess I've grown up. I don't crave that danger anymore. I don't want a taboo relationship with the supposed enemy, I want something real, something more. I want the proverbial white picket fence, complete with 2.5 children, a dog, and a minivan. And I don't even like dogs all that much.
It's not going to be easy to find a guy I can get domestic with, though. We'd have to get used to each other's quirks and habits and idiosyncrasies (thank you Giles and Wesley for the vocabulary boosters) and learn how to share space without getting in each other's way. It takes a long time to develop that kind of intimacy. The only guy in my life that stuck around long enough for us to get that comfortable with one another... well, I think that ship has sailed. Xander used to worship the ground I walked on, and I really took that for granted. I was stupid. But you'd have to be blind *and* stupid not to see the big hunk of studliness he grew into, and one thing I'm not is blind. He was cute then, but now? Total hottie.
Last I knew, Xander was crushing on Fred, which makes sense, I guess. She's like Willow, only... not gay. But now she's with Giles' cousin - and okay, how weird is it getting used to the idea that Giles has family? He never talked about any of them or anything - so I don't know. Maybe Xander and me is a possibility. Or maybe Buffy makes with the clue-getting too late and loses out.
Giles and Wes are totally in their element, rebuilding the Watchers' Council from the ground up. I'm happy for them, even if it is a little wigsome at times. But I guess it'll always be like that - Giles is like a dad to me, and who really wants to think about their dad having sex? Especially when their own sex life is so non-existant that there are nuns who get more action than me.
Xander and I have both had abysmal love lives, and I can't help thinking that maybe the reason has been right under my nose all along. No one else was right for either of us, because we were meant for each other. Or maybe I've been reading too many cheap romance paperbacks since Sunnydale went critical. It's a toss-up.