Love Again, Hurt Again, Cry Again
Someone recently asked me out. He lives in another state and we have a weird history. When I first roleplayed again after Mao died, I was a Victoria and married to this Yunho that was abusive, in all sense. Then this guy, I'm going to call him A, and I became really close friends. And it was nice talking to him. He confessed he liked me and wanted to start a relationship, but he didn't believe in roleplay dating so he wanted Victoria to break up with Yunho... Drama happened and I ended up not doing that. A blocked me and said he didn't wanted to be friends with me anymore. Anyways, fast forward to today, about a year later. History repeated itself but this time, I did what A wanted me to do. But it's so hard with him.
He's jealous and possessive and stubborn. He doesn't listen to me and no matter how hard I work to show him I care, in his mind I've hurt him before, I guess. It's tiring to fight for someone that doesn't trust you. I feel guilty when I'm around him. I'm a clingy girl, when I'm attached I tend to cling on and that's probably why I've been pulling myself away from everyone. The more attached, the clingier I become, the more I need the person by my side all the time. And we have barely been talking. I don't know. I'm just so tired. I'm tired. Isn't love supposed to be happy? Why is it so tiring? Maybe I should just give up and wait to reunite with Mao.