A little bit broken.
My thoughts -
Ben tells me I'm putting a band-aid on a severed artery.
So in the long run, I'll still bleed to death.
It's true. And I'm sick of pretending and playing this game called make-believe.
I'm not okay.
My heart is broken.
I don't have a new crush. That's just pathetic.
I do feel so stupid and I do hate myself for it. But that's just the way it's suppose to be, it's the way it has always been.
I feel worthless.
I don't regret it at the same time I wish it never happened.
I am sad. And lonely.
Yes, I will deny any and all of these things and pretend to be just peachy.
No, there is nothing I can do about it except wait. Time. Time is such a powerful thing.
My day -
Mommy gave me money to go see a movie. Kim and I decided on "Guess Who." It was a good movie, funny, but not quite as funny as I expected.
Q: Why do black people hate country music?
A: Everytime someone mentions a "ho-down" they think someone shot their sister.
"Did you tell you're parents about me? That I'm pigment challenged?"
Anyway, it made me realize alot of things. About myself. Dumb movies usually don't do that. But I think it could have been because I was half focusing on the movie and half focusing on the things drifting through my head. Somewhere there was a click and I started to draw conclusions. They were rather good conclusions. I hope they work out like that for the rest of the world. It'd be nice, to be surrounded by lots of happy people all the time.
Lonely, but nice. Things would even out somewhere along the way.
~ Just me [try and ductape this one.]
Ben tells me I'm putting a band-aid on a severed artery.
So in the long run, I'll still bleed to death.
It's true. And I'm sick of pretending and playing this game called make-believe.
I'm not okay.
My heart is broken.
I don't have a new crush. That's just pathetic.
I do feel so stupid and I do hate myself for it. But that's just the way it's suppose to be, it's the way it has always been.
I feel worthless.
I don't regret it at the same time I wish it never happened.
I am sad. And lonely.
Yes, I will deny any and all of these things and pretend to be just peachy.
No, there is nothing I can do about it except wait. Time. Time is such a powerful thing.
My day -
Mommy gave me money to go see a movie. Kim and I decided on "Guess Who." It was a good movie, funny, but not quite as funny as I expected.
Q: Why do black people hate country music?
A: Everytime someone mentions a "ho-down" they think someone shot their sister.
"Did you tell you're parents about me? That I'm pigment challenged?"
Anyway, it made me realize alot of things. About myself. Dumb movies usually don't do that. But I think it could have been because I was half focusing on the movie and half focusing on the things drifting through my head. Somewhere there was a click and I started to draw conclusions. They were rather good conclusions. I hope they work out like that for the rest of the world. It'd be nice, to be surrounded by lots of happy people all the time.
Lonely, but nice. Things would even out somewhere along the way.
~ Just me [try and ductape this one.]