Conflicted Emotions
Twas a good evening. I guess. No clouds tonight, no twirling. There should have been rockets and fireworks. Nothing in the sky but clouds tonight and a light drizzle. Stuff just kept going wrong, but it wasn't anything bad. It was just stuff that didn't go as well as I had expected them to. Well for some things there was exceeding expectations but very few.
Secrets and lies; white lies, dark lies, none of your business UNTIL it's your business lies. Secrets that are only secrets because people can be and just are judgemental. Those came out tonight. No regrets on my behalf. Occasional misconceptions and assumptions on behalf of society; can really fuck up what you want someone else to understand and believe about you. I dunno, things went as well as they could have. But this bridge just wasn't ready to be crossed.
Ran into a friend tonight. Someone I've at many points in the past three years referred to as my best friend. I know she was working but I dunno. I really felt the fact that we had fallen apart. I haven't seen her in MONTHS and we barely talked. I've missed her. Kinda felt unrequited. Maybe I was already just pre-occupied.
Pre-occupation just really furthered awkwardness when I was led to ignorance of the importance of the evening.
The Vagina Monlogues were fabulous. So fucking amazing. So real, so deep and powerful. I did kinda get dissapointed with the two cunt conjctures that I was most excited to see. The Angry Vagina which last year featured a barely four and a half foot little asian girl screaming and jumping around the room. This year a fiery latina walked pointedly around the stage, still amusing. Not the same. ::sigh:: The other not so much dissapointing labia lecture but different was The Woman Who Liked to Make Vaginas Happy about a lawyer turned dominatrix and every form of orgasm known to man. This year it was an attitudy black girl all OVA the place. She was fuckin hot. But last year I guess I was more partial to the girl doing it because I knew her from class and she walked on stage in a full leather and vinyl buckle outfit complete with riding crop. She also just had these BRIGHT red full lips, can't imagine it any other way. The icing on the cake was viewing this woman powered piece with 'da woman herself, Dr. Ronni. She's fun.
Problem was too much fun and I forgot that I was ON a date. I dunno. I kinda hoped that by introducing him to my friends and having him in my outside of private life that would show him how focused I was on him. I guess he felt alienated. I can't blame him since I've been in his seat (on the outside with nobody sitting next to me) at one point of another. I was rude. I really hope that doesn't change anything in the future, I just sincerely hope my need to improve doesnt cause me to get clingy to over compensate.
Le Sigh.
Secrets and lies; white lies, dark lies, none of your business UNTIL it's your business lies. Secrets that are only secrets because people can be and just are judgemental. Those came out tonight. No regrets on my behalf. Occasional misconceptions and assumptions on behalf of society; can really fuck up what you want someone else to understand and believe about you. I dunno, things went as well as they could have. But this bridge just wasn't ready to be crossed.
Ran into a friend tonight. Someone I've at many points in the past three years referred to as my best friend. I know she was working but I dunno. I really felt the fact that we had fallen apart. I haven't seen her in MONTHS and we barely talked. I've missed her. Kinda felt unrequited. Maybe I was already just pre-occupied.
Pre-occupation just really furthered awkwardness when I was led to ignorance of the importance of the evening.
The Vagina Monlogues were fabulous. So fucking amazing. So real, so deep and powerful. I did kinda get dissapointed with the two cunt conjctures that I was most excited to see. The Angry Vagina which last year featured a barely four and a half foot little asian girl screaming and jumping around the room. This year a fiery latina walked pointedly around the stage, still amusing. Not the same. ::sigh:: The other not so much dissapointing labia lecture but different was The Woman Who Liked to Make Vaginas Happy about a lawyer turned dominatrix and every form of orgasm known to man. This year it was an attitudy black girl all OVA the place. She was fuckin hot. But last year I guess I was more partial to the girl doing it because I knew her from class and she walked on stage in a full leather and vinyl buckle outfit complete with riding crop. She also just had these BRIGHT red full lips, can't imagine it any other way. The icing on the cake was viewing this woman powered piece with 'da woman herself, Dr. Ronni. She's fun.
Problem was too much fun and I forgot that I was ON a date. I dunno. I kinda hoped that by introducing him to my friends and having him in my outside of private life that would show him how focused I was on him. I guess he felt alienated. I can't blame him since I've been in his seat (on the outside with nobody sitting next to me) at one point of another. I was rude. I really hope that doesn't change anything in the future, I just sincerely hope my need to improve doesnt cause me to get clingy to over compensate.
Le Sigh.