Dreams
My dreams have been really haunting me lately and I know it's all subconscious behavior wanting to come to the forefront, but they have been really sad for me the past couple of weeks. Dreams of friends that I used to have that were close that I screwed it up with. In my dreams it always come down to me breaking down and apologising for the
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I know what you're going through. I have been through similar things and seen a lot of people go through them as well. Part of the reason I dropped out of high school is because I kept pushing people away and had no one in that school who cared about me. In stead of trying to forge new friendships, which in retrospect I think wouldn't have been difficult, I clung to the only thing I knew I could count on (jamie) and didn't let anyone get close to me. The only friend I had for a long time was Jamie and this put a lot of strain on our relationship. it took a year for me to begin repairing old relationships (only 3 actually) and most importantly branching out to forge new ones. If I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone I would have never became friends with Heidi, and would not have the fun that I am with everyone she has introduced me to. Coming to my point here, sometimes when you have made mistakes with people you cannot go back, sometimes all you can do is learn everything that you can from each circumstance so you don't repeat the mistakes again. Sometimes you must break out of your comfort zone and seek new friends to replace those you have lost (especially if losing them was your fault). With new friends you have the gift of a first impression and you can apply all of the things you have learned from past mistakes and maybe even show them a brand new side of Mindy that no one has ever seen. You also must be as open minded as you can about these new people, the person you think you'll get along with the worst might actually have a lot more in common than you think and compliment your personality in a very good way. I think you are a great and beautiful person Mindy, and I really hope you can find happiness with those around you now or with new friends. Everyone makes mistakes and still they deserve to forgive themselves and be happy.
Julia
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