Dialogue as Part of Characterization
A recent comment about the frequent use of suss instead of its synonyms in my HP story ‘Conspiracy Theory’ gives me the perfect opportunity to get swotty about a subject I love. Dialogue.
Good characters, ones that seem like real people ready to emerge from the page, have distinct ways of speaking. Their lexical choices reflect that and typically alter only in terms of their audience. (E.g. the student whose word choice is fairly formal when speaking to a teacher, but turns less so, and sometimes much less so, when speaking to friends.)
So to the idea that suss, when spoken by Hermione in ‘Conspiracy Theory,’ could have been replaced with a series of synonyms, I say no. Dialogue of a character is the last place you want to be flipping through the thesaurus.
Most real people have a ‘set’ of words they use over and over. They don’t use multiple synonyms when they’re speaking (if they do, it might be a sign that insecurity is driving them to show off their intelligence - another way to characterize someone, but this only works if you’re doing it on purpose for that one character). Multiple synonyms in one character’s dialogue means you’re writing as a writer trying to be writerly instead of writing as the character. Will you ‘wow’ the average reader? Perhaps. Will you be writing real dialogue? No. Suss is part of Hermione’s voice and also used in the story as part of the voice of her generation - the only two other people who say it are Harry and Draco. Severus and Minerva do not say suss, and this is consistent with their characterizations as well, helping to establish that they both speak more formally and are of a different generation.
Back to suss being part of Hermione’s voice. Barring the fact that the story takes place over several weeks and we’re only seeing a series of key scenes where Hermione is trying to figure out a mystery (she’s got a lot to suss!), why did she use this one word all the time? Well, that’s how real people talk. For Hermione, when she’s around people she’s comfortable with, I chose ‘suss’ to be her favorite word for figuring things out and ‘sort’ for fixing the situation, etc.
So it’s telling that she uses it with Severus - it indicates her level of comfort with him. Back as a student at Hogwarts, she wouldn’t have used suss in speaking to him, but she does now - it’s an instant way to show the more relaxed relationship they have now. I don’t ‘tell’ the reader: “Hermione felt much more comfortable around Severus these days.” (Ugh.) I show it through her use of his first name, her use of slang, and their actions. So this is another way to use dialogue - the different levels of lexical choice give readers clues about the relationships between characters.
Let’s look at the first two lines of dialogue from the story and what it tells us about them:
“That is the sound of a person desperately in need of tea.” Amusement colors the deep voice.
“Severus!” She turns to find him smirking behind her, a tray of tea things hovering at his side. “Circe, yes. Give us a cuppa.”
Hermione uses slang (give us, cuppa), swears (Circe), and his first name (Severus). It shows that she is someone who uses slang when comfortable and that she’s very comfortable with him. Severus uses no contraction (that is) and somewhat formal diction, and yet his sentence has only has one ‘formal’ word (desperately) and is more relaxed than one might expect. (But not as relaxed as Ron would have been: “Sounds like you could use a cuppa.”) Severus too is fairly comfortable with her, as his bringing her tea reinforces. Yet even if both are easy in each other’s company, their voices nonetheless remain distinct.
To add in a BtVS example, there’s Faith’s voice for ‘New Kind of Same.’ I knew I wanted her to swear a lot, but also that she’d do so with a few favorite words she’d use over and over. Again, because that’s what real people do. I chose freaking and crap as her defining words. They’re all over the story as part of her voice. There are multitudes of swear words she could have flipped through, yes, but she wouldn’t have a distinctive voice. (Think of Spike and his use of bloody on the show. Does he say it a lot? Yes. Does it become a defining part of his voice? Yes.)
Another note about how dialogue/voice can help a story. Having Faith say freaking and crap most of the time also gives me the ability to show when she’s especially upset because then she switches to fuck and shit. I don’t ‘tell’ you: “Faith felt very upset.” (Another ugh.) I have her up the level of her swearing and add in some physical reactions.
I’ll switch to Firefly to reinforce the idea of having ‘sets’ of words for characters. Firefly has nine characters, all with very distinctive voices. One interesting thing I’ve noticed is who says ain’t: Jayne, Kaylee, and Mal, often; Zoe, sometimes; Wash, rarely and for emphasis; Book, Inara, Simon, and River, never. Clues about their levels of education and home worlds are being laid out with only one word. And there’s a revelation in this that’s only partially shown in the show - Wash’s background is fairly different from that of Mal and Zoe’s, even barring not having fought in the war.
I’m not saying dialogue can do everything for your characterizations - physical actions and decisions are crucial - but it shouldn’t be ignored either. Create a ‘set’ of words for each character - the ones they use more often than others. Doing so can: 1. establish distinctive voices for your characters, 2. give clues about characters’ backgrounds without having to ‘tell’ those things to the reader, 3. show the level of closeness of their relationships with others, and 4. help to indicate their emotional state.
[And if you're wondering, suss was used 10 times out of over 26,400 words in the story, 9 of them dialogue.]
Good characters, ones that seem like real people ready to emerge from the page, have distinct ways of speaking. Their lexical choices reflect that and typically alter only in terms of their audience. (E.g. the student whose word choice is fairly formal when speaking to a teacher, but turns less so, and sometimes much less so, when speaking to friends.)
So to the idea that suss, when spoken by Hermione in ‘Conspiracy Theory,’ could have been replaced with a series of synonyms, I say no. Dialogue of a character is the last place you want to be flipping through the thesaurus.
Most real people have a ‘set’ of words they use over and over. They don’t use multiple synonyms when they’re speaking (if they do, it might be a sign that insecurity is driving them to show off their intelligence - another way to characterize someone, but this only works if you’re doing it on purpose for that one character). Multiple synonyms in one character’s dialogue means you’re writing as a writer trying to be writerly instead of writing as the character. Will you ‘wow’ the average reader? Perhaps. Will you be writing real dialogue? No. Suss is part of Hermione’s voice and also used in the story as part of the voice of her generation - the only two other people who say it are Harry and Draco. Severus and Minerva do not say suss, and this is consistent with their characterizations as well, helping to establish that they both speak more formally and are of a different generation.
Back to suss being part of Hermione’s voice. Barring the fact that the story takes place over several weeks and we’re only seeing a series of key scenes where Hermione is trying to figure out a mystery (she’s got a lot to suss!), why did she use this one word all the time? Well, that’s how real people talk. For Hermione, when she’s around people she’s comfortable with, I chose ‘suss’ to be her favorite word for figuring things out and ‘sort’ for fixing the situation, etc.
So it’s telling that she uses it with Severus - it indicates her level of comfort with him. Back as a student at Hogwarts, she wouldn’t have used suss in speaking to him, but she does now - it’s an instant way to show the more relaxed relationship they have now. I don’t ‘tell’ the reader: “Hermione felt much more comfortable around Severus these days.” (Ugh.) I show it through her use of his first name, her use of slang, and their actions. So this is another way to use dialogue - the different levels of lexical choice give readers clues about the relationships between characters.
Let’s look at the first two lines of dialogue from the story and what it tells us about them:
“That is the sound of a person desperately in need of tea.” Amusement colors the deep voice.
“Severus!” She turns to find him smirking behind her, a tray of tea things hovering at his side. “Circe, yes. Give us a cuppa.”
Hermione uses slang (give us, cuppa), swears (Circe), and his first name (Severus). It shows that she is someone who uses slang when comfortable and that she’s very comfortable with him. Severus uses no contraction (that is) and somewhat formal diction, and yet his sentence has only has one ‘formal’ word (desperately) and is more relaxed than one might expect. (But not as relaxed as Ron would have been: “Sounds like you could use a cuppa.”) Severus too is fairly comfortable with her, as his bringing her tea reinforces. Yet even if both are easy in each other’s company, their voices nonetheless remain distinct.
To add in a BtVS example, there’s Faith’s voice for ‘New Kind of Same.’ I knew I wanted her to swear a lot, but also that she’d do so with a few favorite words she’d use over and over. Again, because that’s what real people do. I chose freaking and crap as her defining words. They’re all over the story as part of her voice. There are multitudes of swear words she could have flipped through, yes, but she wouldn’t have a distinctive voice. (Think of Spike and his use of bloody on the show. Does he say it a lot? Yes. Does it become a defining part of his voice? Yes.)
Another note about how dialogue/voice can help a story. Having Faith say freaking and crap most of the time also gives me the ability to show when she’s especially upset because then she switches to fuck and shit. I don’t ‘tell’ you: “Faith felt very upset.” (Another ugh.) I have her up the level of her swearing and add in some physical reactions.
I’ll switch to Firefly to reinforce the idea of having ‘sets’ of words for characters. Firefly has nine characters, all with very distinctive voices. One interesting thing I’ve noticed is who says ain’t: Jayne, Kaylee, and Mal, often; Zoe, sometimes; Wash, rarely and for emphasis; Book, Inara, Simon, and River, never. Clues about their levels of education and home worlds are being laid out with only one word. And there’s a revelation in this that’s only partially shown in the show - Wash’s background is fairly different from that of Mal and Zoe’s, even barring not having fought in the war.
I’m not saying dialogue can do everything for your characterizations - physical actions and decisions are crucial - but it shouldn’t be ignored either. Create a ‘set’ of words for each character - the ones they use more often than others. Doing so can: 1. establish distinctive voices for your characters, 2. give clues about characters’ backgrounds without having to ‘tell’ those things to the reader, 3. show the level of closeness of their relationships with others, and 4. help to indicate their emotional state.
[And if you're wondering, suss was used 10 times out of over 26,400 words in the story, 9 of them dialogue.]