Some stuff
This Christmas wasn't so bad. It was my very first one away from all of my family type people, so I think I handled it well. The fact that my family never really makes a big dealie out of these holidays, or hasn't since I was a child, helps. I don't have any extended family out in Ohio, so it is mainly just Mom and I along with our neighbor, who fills the aunt-type position.
Work has been okay, but I'm ready to come home. I started out the program mainly working afternoons and nights (12-7pm or 4:30pm-1am) and for the past few weeks have been working the exact opposite (5am-1:30pm). During the week of Christmas, however, I bounced between early mornings and afternoons to early evenings.
My last week here, I'm back to nights. I'm going to try and see if I can give any of those shifts away, mainly because I'm so drained.
Part of my problems is an issue with a fellow College Program student that we will call R. About a month ago, we were cool. Hung out at work. Laughed a lot during our shifts. Then all of a sudden, one shift she just changes. Doesn't want to talk. And she is the type of girl that will tell you if she is annoyed about something and why. So, the change in behavior is perplexing, mainly because it wasn't accompanied by any explanation.
I figured it was just stress, so I gave her a wide berth during that shift. Behavior continues for the next few shifts we work together (just because a bunch of us CPs work in the same resorts doesn't mean we see each other frequently. I've gone a month without working with some people). I try to be my friendliest, she is still distant. She tells me she's "fine" any time I ask if things are okay.
So, her birthday was on the 26th. On the 24th, she was apparently having a birthday party. She only invited about half of the people at work, which is her choice. What is confusing is it seems to be the half that she was closer to but is now distant from. On the 24th, since I didn't get an invite to her party, and didn't want to crash it, I sent her a message on Facebook saying Happy Birthday. No response.
On the 26th, she got a whole bunch of messages and responded to each one. Whatever.
Here is my point. There are times when I am like a man. If you are mad at more or if I offended you, FUCKING TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL. I hate this Goddamn "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" or saying that everything is "fine" when it really isn't. I don't have time for it.
I'm an adult. I, occasionally, like to act like an adult and communicate like a reasonable human being.
My goal for the program was to make it to January 7th without any real interpersonal conflict. No little spats with other people that lead us to making the "I'm going to avoid you but since there is limited space I'm going to avoid you right in front of you" dance. So far, I've succeeded, which is why I have yet to call her on her bullshit. She also leaves before I do and there is a big chance I will never see her again. I don't want to leave things on a bad note, but I also didn't want to ruin her birthday by sending her a message that would tick her off.
I'm probably going to send her a message tonight on Facebook and see what she says, because, while I don't like conflict, I also really don't like thinking that I could have hurt someone's feelings inadvertently.
I want any hurt feelings to be...well...advertent.
Work has been okay, but I'm ready to come home. I started out the program mainly working afternoons and nights (12-7pm or 4:30pm-1am) and for the past few weeks have been working the exact opposite (5am-1:30pm). During the week of Christmas, however, I bounced between early mornings and afternoons to early evenings.
My last week here, I'm back to nights. I'm going to try and see if I can give any of those shifts away, mainly because I'm so drained.
Part of my problems is an issue with a fellow College Program student that we will call R. About a month ago, we were cool. Hung out at work. Laughed a lot during our shifts. Then all of a sudden, one shift she just changes. Doesn't want to talk. And she is the type of girl that will tell you if she is annoyed about something and why. So, the change in behavior is perplexing, mainly because it wasn't accompanied by any explanation.
I figured it was just stress, so I gave her a wide berth during that shift. Behavior continues for the next few shifts we work together (just because a bunch of us CPs work in the same resorts doesn't mean we see each other frequently. I've gone a month without working with some people). I try to be my friendliest, she is still distant. She tells me she's "fine" any time I ask if things are okay.
So, her birthday was on the 26th. On the 24th, she was apparently having a birthday party. She only invited about half of the people at work, which is her choice. What is confusing is it seems to be the half that she was closer to but is now distant from. On the 24th, since I didn't get an invite to her party, and didn't want to crash it, I sent her a message on Facebook saying Happy Birthday. No response.
On the 26th, she got a whole bunch of messages and responded to each one. Whatever.
Here is my point. There are times when I am like a man. If you are mad at more or if I offended you, FUCKING TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL. I hate this Goddamn "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" or saying that everything is "fine" when it really isn't. I don't have time for it.
I'm an adult. I, occasionally, like to act like an adult and communicate like a reasonable human being.
My goal for the program was to make it to January 7th without any real interpersonal conflict. No little spats with other people that lead us to making the "I'm going to avoid you but since there is limited space I'm going to avoid you right in front of you" dance. So far, I've succeeded, which is why I have yet to call her on her bullshit. She also leaves before I do and there is a big chance I will never see her again. I don't want to leave things on a bad note, but I also didn't want to ruin her birthday by sending her a message that would tick her off.
I'm probably going to send her a message tonight on Facebook and see what she says, because, while I don't like conflict, I also really don't like thinking that I could have hurt someone's feelings inadvertently.
I want any hurt feelings to be...well...advertent.