Lots in My Head
First off...i feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better since i have majorly and i do mean majorly cut back on the cancer sticks...i mean like wow...i feel like i can fuck someone w/out having to worry that i'll get a fucking stroke and freaking die a top of them. Great Stuff I tells ya'll...
We had a death on the family about a week ago or so...it was difficult to endure it all...It made me actually think that while death had in fact knocked on my family's door before, i never really actually stoped to think and register what it truly means. Its a scary thought...Perhaps this sudden and quite needless death coupled w/ the fact that my heart had not been doing well made me start thinking about it all...and of course there's the fact that this guy died of a brain tumor and as a kid...i had to get a tumor extracted that was in fact, headed for my brain...so i suppose there was a lot about this situation that i felt paralleled with...but yeah, i dont want to die just yet...i have much to live for and much that i would love to accomplish still.
On a lighter note, i felt butterflies yesterday cause i was going to go see My Negrito...hmm, its an beautiful yet strangely unsettling feeling as well...i'm trying not to question it all that much however, as often is the case, the thinker in me steps in and as always begins to spcychologically deconstruct everything humanly possible. I hope things go well this time because i know that if it goes south yet again, i wont have the strength to give it another chance. We have a date of friday and once again, the thought of seeing him tickles me inside...damn these butterflies...On a side but somewhat related note, i was suppose to have written a poem about butterflies and how they have a tendecy to fly away...and how since i didn't want them to fly away i would simply eat them so that in me they could forever stay. Alas, i never finished it...perhaps i will someday (i tend to start shit like that and never finish it)...
I'm feeling very random today so i'll share the following thought as well...i really wanna go see monster...Theron man, wow...what a transformation, so good to see her finally catch a good role.
Anyhow, i must go...i'm at work after all and although i'm doing it the good o'homer way (half assed) i nonetheless have to comply w/ they damn responsibilites...
We had a death on the family about a week ago or so...it was difficult to endure it all...It made me actually think that while death had in fact knocked on my family's door before, i never really actually stoped to think and register what it truly means. Its a scary thought...Perhaps this sudden and quite needless death coupled w/ the fact that my heart had not been doing well made me start thinking about it all...and of course there's the fact that this guy died of a brain tumor and as a kid...i had to get a tumor extracted that was in fact, headed for my brain...so i suppose there was a lot about this situation that i felt paralleled with...but yeah, i dont want to die just yet...i have much to live for and much that i would love to accomplish still.
On a lighter note, i felt butterflies yesterday cause i was going to go see My Negrito...hmm, its an beautiful yet strangely unsettling feeling as well...i'm trying not to question it all that much however, as often is the case, the thinker in me steps in and as always begins to spcychologically deconstruct everything humanly possible. I hope things go well this time because i know that if it goes south yet again, i wont have the strength to give it another chance. We have a date of friday and once again, the thought of seeing him tickles me inside...damn these butterflies...On a side but somewhat related note, i was suppose to have written a poem about butterflies and how they have a tendecy to fly away...and how since i didn't want them to fly away i would simply eat them so that in me they could forever stay. Alas, i never finished it...perhaps i will someday (i tend to start shit like that and never finish it)...
I'm feeling very random today so i'll share the following thought as well...i really wanna go see monster...Theron man, wow...what a transformation, so good to see her finally catch a good role.
Anyhow, i must go...i'm at work after all and although i'm doing it the good o'homer way (half assed) i nonetheless have to comply w/ they damn responsibilites...