Ask the UberMaus
Dear UberMaus,
You recently helped Torn in Taylor County, so maybe you can help me too.
The thing is, I can't stop writing letters to agony aunts (and uncles, natch). I write maybe ten, twelve a day. I can't help myself. It's taking over my life.
And what's more, I'm running out of ways to sign off. I live in London, and there just aren't that many adjectives that start with L. Yesterday I signed myself Pathetic in Peterborough just for some variety. I hate myself.
Yours in desperation,
Loquacious in London
Dear Loquacious,
I am unspeakably pleased at how my literary fame has stretched across the Atlantic to take England by storm. Kudos on being the first bona-fide international advice-seeker.
Now then. As to your problem, you may be surprised to find that even the UberMaus once suffered from a similar compulsion before I became the multi-national literary powerhouse I am today. Never fear, there is a straightforward solution to your predicament!
Quite simply, you must find another outlet for your prodigious literary output. May I suggest that a thorough reading of my Brief Guide to Writing Critical Acclaim might be a good place to start?
And, as to the problem of coming up with "L" adjectives, you aren't doing too badly. Due to some of the less fortunate social consequences of my upbringing, I spent an inordinate amount of time as a youngster being asked to provide my name prefixed with a same-letter adjective (i.e. "Friendly Frank" or "Noisy Nancy") to help groups of strangers remember my name. My "actual" name begins with an L, and I tended to get stuck on "Luscious" or, worse yet, "Lascivious." While these rather unfortunate monikers served admirably to make my name memorable, I'm sure you can appreciate that I found the effect rather different than the one I desired.
Yours,
Ubiquitous UberMaus
Can't stop talking? Why not ask the Ubermaus! UberMaus@LiveJournal.com
You recently helped Torn in Taylor County, so maybe you can help me too.
The thing is, I can't stop writing letters to agony aunts (and uncles, natch). I write maybe ten, twelve a day. I can't help myself. It's taking over my life.
And what's more, I'm running out of ways to sign off. I live in London, and there just aren't that many adjectives that start with L. Yesterday I signed myself Pathetic in Peterborough just for some variety. I hate myself.
Yours in desperation,
Loquacious in London
Dear Loquacious,
I am unspeakably pleased at how my literary fame has stretched across the Atlantic to take England by storm. Kudos on being the first bona-fide international advice-seeker.
Now then. As to your problem, you may be surprised to find that even the UberMaus once suffered from a similar compulsion before I became the multi-national literary powerhouse I am today. Never fear, there is a straightforward solution to your predicament!
Quite simply, you must find another outlet for your prodigious literary output. May I suggest that a thorough reading of my Brief Guide to Writing Critical Acclaim might be a good place to start?
And, as to the problem of coming up with "L" adjectives, you aren't doing too badly. Due to some of the less fortunate social consequences of my upbringing, I spent an inordinate amount of time as a youngster being asked to provide my name prefixed with a same-letter adjective (i.e. "Friendly Frank" or "Noisy Nancy") to help groups of strangers remember my name. My "actual" name begins with an L, and I tended to get stuck on "Luscious" or, worse yet, "Lascivious." While these rather unfortunate monikers served admirably to make my name memorable, I'm sure you can appreciate that I found the effect rather different than the one I desired.
Yours,
Ubiquitous UberMaus
Can't stop talking? Why not ask the Ubermaus! UberMaus@LiveJournal.com