Ask the UberMaus, a sporadic feature of this page
Dear Ubermaus,
When I heard about your recent plan to increase the accuracy of the current party lexicon, I thought I would be the last person to benefit from your project. You see, I'm not very popular and I don't get invited to many parties. I thought I could just keep calling a party a party and accept whatever limited social interaction I could get at face value.
Boy was I wrong! Just last night I got a message from a friend inviting me to a party at an as of yet undisclosed location this friday night. He didn't say, but I was guessing some of the cool kids would be there. I was so excited I nearly messed on my kitchen floor.
But then came the unwelcome surprise. The next message was from my Mom. She was "inviting" me to a different party to celebrate my brother's graduation . . . you guessed it . . . this friday night.
What should I do? I don't want to miss out on a chance to party with the cool kids, but I sure don't want to upset my family. They are both parties after all.
Please reply soon,
Torn in Taylor County
Dear Torn,
The answer to your question depends on what you really want.
Bearing in mind that your brother can graduate any old time, do you want to be a dutiful son and brother? Or do you want to stop being a pathetic loser who has an "accident" every time someone with no missing teeth gives you the time of day? The choice, my friend, is yours.
One more tip, gratis: Develop a habit of impeccable personal hygiene. Trust me, it will pay off.
Yours ingratiatingly,
--the UberMaus
Woeful social inadequacies got you down? Why not ask the UberMaus: UberMaus@LiveJournal.com.
When I heard about your recent plan to increase the accuracy of the current party lexicon, I thought I would be the last person to benefit from your project. You see, I'm not very popular and I don't get invited to many parties. I thought I could just keep calling a party a party and accept whatever limited social interaction I could get at face value.
Boy was I wrong! Just last night I got a message from a friend inviting me to a party at an as of yet undisclosed location this friday night. He didn't say, but I was guessing some of the cool kids would be there. I was so excited I nearly messed on my kitchen floor.
But then came the unwelcome surprise. The next message was from my Mom. She was "inviting" me to a different party to celebrate my brother's graduation . . . you guessed it . . . this friday night.
What should I do? I don't want to miss out on a chance to party with the cool kids, but I sure don't want to upset my family. They are both parties after all.
Please reply soon,
Torn in Taylor County
Dear Torn,
The answer to your question depends on what you really want.
Bearing in mind that your brother can graduate any old time, do you want to be a dutiful son and brother? Or do you want to stop being a pathetic loser who has an "accident" every time someone with no missing teeth gives you the time of day? The choice, my friend, is yours.
One more tip, gratis: Develop a habit of impeccable personal hygiene. Trust me, it will pay off.
Yours ingratiatingly,
--the UberMaus
Woeful social inadequacies got you down? Why not ask the UberMaus: UberMaus@LiveJournal.com.