stuff
im fucking dying. im going to call my dad and just leave this town for good. and i'll stop talking to people i used to talk to. and just start over. im sick of waiting, im sick of worrying, im sick of hoping, im sick of everything about this one thing happening in my life
if you're reading this, you probably know what this "thing" is. im such a spaz recently, like holy shit. i've been swearing like crazy recently, im so pissed off at everything. im pissed off because i keep thinking the "thing" isn't ever going to work out, but then there's also the chance that it could, and how fucking awesome that would be. like wow. like i would be happier than i've ever been, ever. but then it'd get fucked up, and i'd go fucking crazy again and break things. i dont know what to do. i dont know what i want. i dont know what will happen. im just waiting. i've been waiting for two fucking years. its getting OLD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!
fucking spaz. someone slap me. fuck it (><) so confused. i keep praying and saying that i let it go, but i really cant because it matters so much to me, and im always going to think about the "thing" (mostly the person in the "thing") because i cant help it. i dream about it every night. i think about it when i space out, i think about it when im having conversations at school, i think about it while im falling asleep. its a fucking plague, i sware to god. im so pissed i need to hurt someone (not me) like i know im a small guy, but seriously, if someone at school gets on my nerves, im really going to fucking explode and its going to be a very bad day for both of us. someone help me. god damn you.
if you're reading this, you probably know what this "thing" is. im such a spaz recently, like holy shit. i've been swearing like crazy recently, im so pissed off at everything. im pissed off because i keep thinking the "thing" isn't ever going to work out, but then there's also the chance that it could, and how fucking awesome that would be. like wow. like i would be happier than i've ever been, ever. but then it'd get fucked up, and i'd go fucking crazy again and break things. i dont know what to do. i dont know what i want. i dont know what will happen. im just waiting. i've been waiting for two fucking years. its getting OLD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!
fucking spaz. someone slap me. fuck it (><) so confused. i keep praying and saying that i let it go, but i really cant because it matters so much to me, and im always going to think about the "thing" (mostly the person in the "thing") because i cant help it. i dream about it every night. i think about it when i space out, i think about it when im having conversations at school, i think about it while im falling asleep. its a fucking plague, i sware to god. im so pissed i need to hurt someone (not me) like i know im a small guy, but seriously, if someone at school gets on my nerves, im really going to fucking explode and its going to be a very bad day for both of us. someone help me. god damn you.