how i feel now, singel and ok
as you can tell in the blog before this one, i thought everything about me and josh going wrong was my fault, welp, hes an ass for makin me think that way. he got a new myspace, why he thought i wouldnt find it is beyond me. he left tif loving messages before he even left me, i think its all fucked up but funny in its own littel way. i still want us to be friends, dont ask why, i really dont know why im willing to forgive him, i mean not like ok ill take you back way, i mean itll take alot of explaing on his part, but i really am prepared to go awhile with it being acward and then being buddies. i would say i want to move on to alberto, but i think i should just be singel right now, i learned some things today about my brother that are interesting and put alot of what ifs and wondres into my head. i will never forget how josh was the first guy i said i love you to and meant it. and i wont look back on us and regret it, theres not one thing i regret, it was nice while it lasted and would have been great if it lasted longer, but if he loves her and not me, it hurts yes, but who am i to stand in the way of it, who am i, a 15 year old girl in the middel of two adults who love each other, if he wants to be a fool and be with a girl who cheated on him, and be with someone who is leaving for the air force,s ome one who doesnt even live in the same state as him, if he wants to that, then who am i to stop it.