The Prime Candidate for the 2008 Election
My citizens, countrymen, and fellow Americans. There comes a time in every nation's history when its people must band together to make decisions that will affect the fate of their country, and perhaps even the whole world. With the events of the most recent election, I know many are dejected, angered, or even despairing, while others gloat and cheer over their victory. However, the two-party system of America is outdated, dangerous, and hinders decisive political action. This is why, my brethren, I implore you to vote for Bukkake in 2008. Bukkake is a different sort of candidate. The type of man who is not afraid to demonstrate his views all over the faces of his followers. Bukkake does not approve of the deception of the American people, or the spin that the media puts on the views of politicians. He is the type of candidate who will cum out and say what he means. And once you have been bathed and slathered in his wisdom, and perhaps even drunk deeply of it, I assure you, you will feel the same.
There are some who would say that Bukkake is too straightforward, too lewd, too politically incorrect to lead this country. But I ask you, my countrymen...have the politicans you voted for truly represented you? Bukkake understands your needs. He knows that sometimes, it is the proper course of action to blind the unjust with the seed of truth. Bukkake will violate whatever orifices of the government he feels necessary to restore power to the American people. Bukkake is the right man for the job. So please, for the good of America, vote Bukkake in 2008. The face...er...fate of the world rests in your hands.
"Cum on...vote for Bukkake!"
Funding for this post was provided by The Dirty Old Men of America Club, Bukkake for Justice, King Missile, Gary Coleman, and a large pile of sentient mold I found in my bathtub drain.