DESTRUCTION TO ALL WHO OPPOSE!
I've decided it is time to mindfuck everyone on my Friends Page again...THAT MEANS YOU, KIDDIES.
So...I'm going to my highschool homecoming when I'm IN COLLEGE??? *confuzzled* I can see the security guards now:
Guard 1: "Man, that kid looks too old to be in here."
Guard 2: "Yeah...I bet he's a PEDOPHILE!"
Guard 1: "Excuse me sir, but WTF AM DIS SHIT?"
Alex: o.0
(Guards 1 & 2 proceed to attack Alex with nightclubs, forcing him to bust out his MagicalLaserDeathRayOfDoom and annihilate all life on the planet!)
OOPSIES!!!
Life has been normal for me. Relatively normal...so...normal, in fact...I've started to...*twitch*... "The voices tell me I'm okay, so I must be fine!..." *twitch*
Ross, you'll be proud to know I played TFC the other day. I can still shoot people in the nuts from 100 yards with a sniper rifle as they fall off a cliff. Oh, how I love video games. Mostly because whenever someone dies they explode into numerous meaty, skinless chunks. I examined the remains of one of my kills and discovered he had FOUR HEARTS. THAT'S RIGHT...FOUR. THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR EVOLUTION, ONE GIANT FUCK UP FOR GAME MAKERS.
It's amazing...73% of the freshman class here is female, and Playboy rated the women here as the SECOND HOTTEST OF ANY SCHOOL IN THE NATION.
...
.....
.......
And I still can't get a date. WOE IS ME. LOOKS LIKE IT'S BACK TO MY NECROPHILIAC BEASTILITY MIDGET PRON! ...pretend I didn't say that...
o.0 (Ross, you got me addicted to this little emoticon, you fucking bastard. I'll have your nuts in a bear trap for this!!!)
Have you ever seen someone who REALLY wanted to kick in the face, even though you didn't know them very well? I KNOW I HAVE! But every time I punch the mirror, it cracks... *sob*
I think the baby from family guy (can't spell his name...is it Stuey??? *confuzzled*) is my hero. HE'S JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS A KID. ONLY SMART.
Oh man...I downloaded the Matrix Revolutions super-high-quality trailer (God bless you T-1 line, even though I don't believe in God...but I would if he gave me a castle with a big catapult and a whole lot of watermelons) and I MADE A MESS OF MY PANTS AFTER I SAW IT. I STILL DO WHENEVER I WATCH IT. AND I'VE SEEN IT SEVENTEEN TIMES. I THINK I'VE RUN OUT OF QUARTERS FOR THE WASHING MACHINES. But in all seriousness ("What...Alex...SERIOUS?!?!") I think I'm going to be able to die a happy man once I see that and Return of the King. Oh, and get laid. o.0
Anyway, if you're not convulsing in seizures from the sheer idiocy of my post, I've failed to do my job and will now repent by severely flogging myself with a live cat. Mrrroooooowwww.... *RAAAERRR HISS! SCRATCH SCRATCH*
So...I'm going to my highschool homecoming when I'm IN COLLEGE??? *confuzzled* I can see the security guards now:
Guard 1: "Man, that kid looks too old to be in here."
Guard 2: "Yeah...I bet he's a PEDOPHILE!"
Guard 1: "Excuse me sir, but WTF AM DIS SHIT?"
Alex: o.0
(Guards 1 & 2 proceed to attack Alex with nightclubs, forcing him to bust out his MagicalLaserDeathRayOfDoom and annihilate all life on the planet!)
OOPSIES!!!
Life has been normal for me. Relatively normal...so...normal, in fact...I've started to...*twitch*... "The voices tell me I'm okay, so I must be fine!..." *twitch*
Ross, you'll be proud to know I played TFC the other day. I can still shoot people in the nuts from 100 yards with a sniper rifle as they fall off a cliff. Oh, how I love video games. Mostly because whenever someone dies they explode into numerous meaty, skinless chunks. I examined the remains of one of my kills and discovered he had FOUR HEARTS. THAT'S RIGHT...FOUR. THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR EVOLUTION, ONE GIANT FUCK UP FOR GAME MAKERS.
It's amazing...73% of the freshman class here is female, and Playboy rated the women here as the SECOND HOTTEST OF ANY SCHOOL IN THE NATION.
...
.....
.......
And I still can't get a date. WOE IS ME. LOOKS LIKE IT'S BACK TO MY NECROPHILIAC BEASTILITY MIDGET PRON! ...pretend I didn't say that...
o.0 (Ross, you got me addicted to this little emoticon, you fucking bastard. I'll have your nuts in a bear trap for this!!!)
Have you ever seen someone who REALLY wanted to kick in the face, even though you didn't know them very well? I KNOW I HAVE! But every time I punch the mirror, it cracks... *sob*
I think the baby from family guy (can't spell his name...is it Stuey??? *confuzzled*) is my hero. HE'S JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS A KID. ONLY SMART.
Oh man...I downloaded the Matrix Revolutions super-high-quality trailer (God bless you T-1 line, even though I don't believe in God...but I would if he gave me a castle with a big catapult and a whole lot of watermelons) and I MADE A MESS OF MY PANTS AFTER I SAW IT. I STILL DO WHENEVER I WATCH IT. AND I'VE SEEN IT SEVENTEEN TIMES. I THINK I'VE RUN OUT OF QUARTERS FOR THE WASHING MACHINES. But in all seriousness ("What...Alex...SERIOUS?!?!") I think I'm going to be able to die a happy man once I see that and Return of the King. Oh, and get laid. o.0
Anyway, if you're not convulsing in seizures from the sheer idiocy of my post, I've failed to do my job and will now repent by severely flogging myself with a live cat. Mrrroooooowwww.... *RAAAERRR HISS! SCRATCH SCRATCH*