I For Insomnia
I can't sleep.
It's 2:40 in the morning right now and I am wide awake. Why? Instead of drifing off to Slumber Land, I am instead sitting infront of this bright ass computer typing away. This has been a horrible trend these past couple of weeks. I go to sleep late, wake up early to finish homework that should have been done the night before, catch an afternoon nap (which I believe is a source of the problem) and then I am up until the wee hours of the night only to continue the tradition the next day. It's a vicious cycle.
This blog serves no real purpose, really. I just needed something to do until my body decides to come to its senses and go to bed. I should be doing something more productive, like I don't know... homework, maybe? Yeah, I should, but damnit all to hell, I just can't bring myself to do it. The one thing that actually does put me to sleep and I choose not to do it. Someone tell me why?
Instead of doing the smart thing, I'm doing something that doesn't benefit me at all. Sure, I'm doing one of my hobbies right now (writing), but how does this make me a better person? How does this benefit my studies? How does this make the world a better place? Exactly, it doesn't. It's just something I want to do and not something I need to do. This whole want and need thing is something I never understood. I want to take a nap, but I need to study. What do I do? Nap. I want to go to the movies, but I need to clean up the house. What do I do? Catch a flick. Incase it isn't obvious, this is about to turn into a long, unimportant rant.
I've noticed that there are two types of people in this world. The Want-Seekers and the Need-Seekers. I, however, am a Want-Seeker. I seek out and do things that I want to do rather than things I need to do. For example: I wanted to chill and relax today, but I really needed to study for my physics test that I have tomorrow. What happened? I chose to relax and in return I am getting up early tomorrow to prepare for my physics test. Now, if my mother were to know this, she would have my ass sore right about now, but luckily I'll never tell her. Physics is a very important class, but it's also one that I'm not struggling in, so I feel that if I get up in the morning and study from 11-2 I'll be fine. I did it before the last test and did perfectly well. Rationalization is a bitch. I need to become more of a Need-Seeker. My mother was a Need-Seeker when she was younger. People say I take on many of my mother's academic traits (we both love science), but that's one thing I never took to. Rather than doing what I need to do first and then fulfilling my wants, I indulge in my wants and find away to slip my needs in later on. I believe the proper term for this is, get ready for it... it's coming.. hold on... ah, yes, it's PROCRASTINATION.
Hello, I'm Melvin Woodland and I am a procrastinator.
I never wanted to be a procrastinator. It's not good. True, it works for some people, and some people do well under stress. I am not one of those people and yet I wait until the last minute. I don't do it all the time, but it's becoming more and more frequent. And it's just started this year. I don't know what the deal is. I wait until the last minute to do something, then I realize it's not as easy as I thought and I end up bitching and moaning the entire night because it's taking too long to finish. You'd think I would have learned a lesson by now. I promise myself week after week that I would get on point. I do fine at the start of the week, but then I just fall off. And you'd think that since I work on the weekends I would try and get most of my work done before I go home. Nu-uh. Not me. Usually when I go home I'm packing my bookbag full of books that I know I will not crack over the weekend. It's a cryin' shame. Momma, where did we go wrong? Was becoming a non-procrastinator one of my New Year's resolutions? Hmm, I don't know. If it was, then damnit, might as well call that resolution a wrap right now. The year is almost over now, not much I can do to improve on that horrible trait. There's always next year. Deja vu. Believe I said that around this time last year. Whatever. Since next year is my senior year, I'm definitely gonna be on the ball. Maybe I just need to make one of the study rooms in the library into my new dorm room. Or maybe I should leave my television, computer, and cell phone at home next year. Okay, that's pretty much suicide. Perhaps I won't do that. That's the sleep talking.
I need to get my head in the game.
Hell, I need to go to sleep.
It's 2:40 in the morning right now and I am wide awake. Why? Instead of drifing off to Slumber Land, I am instead sitting infront of this bright ass computer typing away. This has been a horrible trend these past couple of weeks. I go to sleep late, wake up early to finish homework that should have been done the night before, catch an afternoon nap (which I believe is a source of the problem) and then I am up until the wee hours of the night only to continue the tradition the next day. It's a vicious cycle.
This blog serves no real purpose, really. I just needed something to do until my body decides to come to its senses and go to bed. I should be doing something more productive, like I don't know... homework, maybe? Yeah, I should, but damnit all to hell, I just can't bring myself to do it. The one thing that actually does put me to sleep and I choose not to do it. Someone tell me why?
Instead of doing the smart thing, I'm doing something that doesn't benefit me at all. Sure, I'm doing one of my hobbies right now (writing), but how does this make me a better person? How does this benefit my studies? How does this make the world a better place? Exactly, it doesn't. It's just something I want to do and not something I need to do. This whole want and need thing is something I never understood. I want to take a nap, but I need to study. What do I do? Nap. I want to go to the movies, but I need to clean up the house. What do I do? Catch a flick. Incase it isn't obvious, this is about to turn into a long, unimportant rant.
I've noticed that there are two types of people in this world. The Want-Seekers and the Need-Seekers. I, however, am a Want-Seeker. I seek out and do things that I want to do rather than things I need to do. For example: I wanted to chill and relax today, but I really needed to study for my physics test that I have tomorrow. What happened? I chose to relax and in return I am getting up early tomorrow to prepare for my physics test. Now, if my mother were to know this, she would have my ass sore right about now, but luckily I'll never tell her. Physics is a very important class, but it's also one that I'm not struggling in, so I feel that if I get up in the morning and study from 11-2 I'll be fine. I did it before the last test and did perfectly well. Rationalization is a bitch. I need to become more of a Need-Seeker. My mother was a Need-Seeker when she was younger. People say I take on many of my mother's academic traits (we both love science), but that's one thing I never took to. Rather than doing what I need to do first and then fulfilling my wants, I indulge in my wants and find away to slip my needs in later on. I believe the proper term for this is, get ready for it... it's coming.. hold on... ah, yes, it's PROCRASTINATION.
Hello, I'm Melvin Woodland and I am a procrastinator.
I never wanted to be a procrastinator. It's not good. True, it works for some people, and some people do well under stress. I am not one of those people and yet I wait until the last minute. I don't do it all the time, but it's becoming more and more frequent. And it's just started this year. I don't know what the deal is. I wait until the last minute to do something, then I realize it's not as easy as I thought and I end up bitching and moaning the entire night because it's taking too long to finish. You'd think I would have learned a lesson by now. I promise myself week after week that I would get on point. I do fine at the start of the week, but then I just fall off. And you'd think that since I work on the weekends I would try and get most of my work done before I go home. Nu-uh. Not me. Usually when I go home I'm packing my bookbag full of books that I know I will not crack over the weekend. It's a cryin' shame. Momma, where did we go wrong? Was becoming a non-procrastinator one of my New Year's resolutions? Hmm, I don't know. If it was, then damnit, might as well call that resolution a wrap right now. The year is almost over now, not much I can do to improve on that horrible trait. There's always next year. Deja vu. Believe I said that around this time last year. Whatever. Since next year is my senior year, I'm definitely gonna be on the ball. Maybe I just need to make one of the study rooms in the library into my new dorm room. Or maybe I should leave my television, computer, and cell phone at home next year. Okay, that's pretty much suicide. Perhaps I won't do that. That's the sleep talking.
I need to get my head in the game.
Hell, I need to go to sleep.