ideal gas law gone wrong
my stress level is inordinately high...sadly, academics has nothing to do with it! academically my semester has been going fine. B's in chemistry and A's in my other classes. It's the rest of my life that's in the toilet. and not my relationship, but my friendships and my extracurriculars. just a lot of hard questions have come up in my life recently. I feel like i am completely alone to do everything for myself. BACCHUS especially, i don't feel like my members are engaged in the club. for example, we had an event on saturday and i was the only BACCHUS member there! i feel like no one is helping me. no one helps me with bacchus, no one helps me keep the apartment clean, no one helps me look for a place to live next year. and no one is grateful. perhaps it is a cycle that i perpetuate because i want things done (and correctly) so people figure, oh i don't need to do that, therese will do it! anyways, much stress in the past weeks due to just not having any time for myself.
i've gotten to such a precarious point that i am skipping two days of school to go home to be with my mommy and try to recover. totally unlike me, but i need to rescue myself.
I'm also facing some tough spiritual questions b/c in Koinonia (my small faith-share group) we are doing "witness talks" about each member's spiritual walk and because of my confirmation class. I'm having a hard time talking to God b/c i don't trust him to run my life. In the past, he has been undependable just like everyone else in my life (my dad, steve, trisha, bacchus members, my mom on occasion). he just doesn't seem to come through!
anyways, internal pressure and temperature are rising and i think an explosion is imminent. fortunately, i get to spend next week in Jacksonville FL building habitat houses and working in a soup kitchen. at least it will be warm! It's nice to be going with a group of people i don't know very well, rather than my close friends of whom i have such tough expectations. I'm even looking forward to the 14hr van ride! i'm leaving my comp. w/ my dad so hopefully i can be back online after break.
when all else fails, i just picture myself in Rome. ROME ROME ROME! i'm also looking forward to visiting miranda over easter and spending some time in someone else's life. and it looks like i might have found someone to go to Anaheim with me for the ACS national meeting. So sunshine is in my future.
And God must feel badly about being such an ass, because he's sent some gorgeous days my way that just make everything seem better.
SORRY SO LONG!
i've gotten to such a precarious point that i am skipping two days of school to go home to be with my mommy and try to recover. totally unlike me, but i need to rescue myself.
I'm also facing some tough spiritual questions b/c in Koinonia (my small faith-share group) we are doing "witness talks" about each member's spiritual walk and because of my confirmation class. I'm having a hard time talking to God b/c i don't trust him to run my life. In the past, he has been undependable just like everyone else in my life (my dad, steve, trisha, bacchus members, my mom on occasion). he just doesn't seem to come through!
anyways, internal pressure and temperature are rising and i think an explosion is imminent. fortunately, i get to spend next week in Jacksonville FL building habitat houses and working in a soup kitchen. at least it will be warm! It's nice to be going with a group of people i don't know very well, rather than my close friends of whom i have such tough expectations. I'm even looking forward to the 14hr van ride! i'm leaving my comp. w/ my dad so hopefully i can be back online after break.
when all else fails, i just picture myself in Rome. ROME ROME ROME! i'm also looking forward to visiting miranda over easter and spending some time in someone else's life. and it looks like i might have found someone to go to Anaheim with me for the ACS national meeting. So sunshine is in my future.
And God must feel badly about being such an ass, because he's sent some gorgeous days my way that just make everything seem better.
SORRY SO LONG!