Confessions of a struggling vegan
I’ve been vegan for over 2 years now and strive to be for the rest of my life. When I made that decision it was based on months of research and reasoning. But I’ve had my periods where I struggle and will be the first to admit I’m technically an aspiring vegan and usually adhere to the vegan tittle 95% of the time. My only weakness is these terrible sugar cravings I get, I don’t know where they come from but I will literally crave sugar almost like a drug. It may come from the fact that growing up I ate crap, everything from frozen dinners to just candy for days. My mom was a single mom (guess I should also mention she’s about as smart as an 8 year old) and wasn’t able to provide us with proper nutrition lessons and what kid isn’t going to eat candy all day if left to their own devices?
Anyway, with Easter it’s the hardest because I crave these mini Cadbury eggs which have milk in them. I know I shouldn’t eat them and I know I don’t WANT to eat them but I literally will eat a whole bag in a daze and hate myself the rest of the day. I feel awful because of the suffering and hate I just partook in and the fact that my stomach isn’t used to digesting that crap any more so it feels like death as my body TRIES to process the bad karma I shoveled down my throat.
I’ve been eating these things and other crap for the past 2 weeks and I swear my body is in a riot. My throat is swollen with no sign of illness, my stomach constantly feels like it’s in pain, I’m always hungry even after I eat this shit food, it actually thew off my period cycle, I have a constant and nagging headache, and the weirdest part is I can constantly smell blood when none is around.
As of today I’m on a serious detox diet for my body as well as my mind. I’ve been extra moody since I’ve ventured off my vegan path. Everyone annoys me and I just try to keep away from everyone, which isn’t like me at all.
I’m not afraid to admit any of this because when I tell people I’m "vegan" I don’t mean for them to associate it with "perfect" which most people try to do and proceed to harass me for when I have my harder days. I’m okay with trying and trying because like I’ve said before it’s a life choice I’ve made and plan to work hard at it the rest of my life.