Severus, Redux: Chapter Thirty-One
(In which a lot of conversations, revelations and reconciliations are had...)
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 1 March 1998 10:03 AM
Severus sat across from Hermione in the library, their books open around them, and slowly tried to work his way past the mental shields she had erected. He was both frustrated and pleased by how far she had improved in the eight months since he had started teaching her. She had been rather abysmal at keeping him out in the beginning, and he had taken care not penetrate her thoughts very deeply. Despite his curiosity about a girl--any girl--who had an interest in him, the last thing he wanted to do was betray her trust.
Reading Hermione's thoughts in a straightforward manner was now close to impossible; she had learnt to clear her thoughts and freeze her mind into a complicated and confusing maze of thick, crystalline ice, mirrored and jagged all about him like a carnival funhouse. He could sense her thoughts and emotions nearby, little flashes of colour on the ice in his peripheral vision, but couldn't quite locate them, nor find an opening through the reflections, twists and turns. I still have a few ways in, though.
Without warning his hands snapped out and his fingers dug into the sensitive tissue just under her ribs, tickling mercilessly, just as he rammed his consciousness at the nearest wall of ice. The frozen maze suddenly cracked and vanished, and Severus found himself diving deep into her mind before he caught himself. He found a deep, nagging anxiety there, swirling around several subjects. The Dark Lord and the war were chief among them, as were Potter and Weasley. How they were getting along without her, both in their schoolwork and in whatever special tasks Professor Dumbledore had set the messy-haired boy? She worried about Severus, too. She had noticed that he seemed to be ill when he left Hogwarts, and that the illness was accelerating in seriousness in shorter periods of time. She worried something was seriously wrong, and she worried he'd find out about her secret, and shun her like Potter for keeping it.
Reflexively he wanted to dig deeper, to uncover what she was hiding and assuage his own insecurity. Was she lying about her feelings? Hiding something about the professor? Severus' own fears seemed to entangle with hers and reflect back, doubling and rebounding until he had trouble distinguishing her panic from his own. Severus sucked in a deep breath, recoiling from the recesses of her mind as what he was doing struck him. However curious and concerned he was, violating her privacy and betraying her trust was the last thing he wanted to do.
For a moment they both sat, breathing heavily and staring at each other. Then Hermione's eyes closed miserably, her head bowing. Feeling ashamed, and terrified she would leave him, Severus gripped the table in front of him. "I'm sorry," he offered, his voice catching. "I didn't mean to go so deep. I didn't… I didn't see whatever it was, and I won't ask. Hermione?"
Her eyes lifted again to meet his squarely, and he could see a detachment in them that meant her Occlumancy shields were back up in full force. She said quietly, "I know you didn't mean to go that deep; all the same... don't do it again. Not without permission. That was…" she trailed off, and shuddered before collecting herself. Her tone became business-like. "I would rather try to address whatever you managed to see rather than let it poison us, though, if you have questions or worries."
Severus nearly collapsed on the table in relief. She wasn't going to storm off and never speak to him again. Instead, she was offering to discuss what he had seen. She really was brave. Sometimes he forgot, with the conversations they had and her thirst for knowledge, that she wasn't sorted properly into Ravenclaw.
"I saw that you are deeply worried about a lot of things." Severus dropped his eyes to the table, reluctant. When she remained silent, he continued, "You're worried about Potter and Weasley and the Dark Lord. You're worried about me, and how I've been getting sick, and...and you're worried that I'll find something out that you don't want me to." He was whispering as he finished, uncertain if he should ask despite wanting to.
Hermione nodded. "Yes. I have a couple secrets, to be honest. I can't tell you one of them. I honestly want to, but Dumbledore has made me promise to not say anything to anyone. I swear I would not keep it from you if it were my choice." She hesitated, then added in a small voice, "I hope you understand."
"I'm not as stupid as Potter," he answered, recalling her earlier thoughts. "It isn't your secret to tell."
She let out a small sigh of relief. "Exactly. The other secret… well, I'd rather not say, but I don't want you upset and worried over me keeping it." Her lips thinned when she saw his carefully blank expression. "You have a powerful voice. It's rather sinfully delicious to listen to; you could probably turn me on reading the dictionary."
Severus felt his mouth curl into a naughty smile, and lowered his voice to a sultry, rolling purr. "Is it really so awful that I would know how to… arouse you?" To his delight, her eyes dilated in response and her cheeks flushed.
"Um, yes, I mean no. It's just that, the problem is, you're not the only one who's got it, and he can be rather… enthused about his current subject. So…"
An ugly, unreasonably jealous emotion rose in him, and he struggled to reign it in. His older self did have the same voice, even if they weren't really the same person anymore. Severus clamped down on his emotions hard, thinking furiously. Perhaps this was why she had seemed less than perfectly honest when he had asked if his older self had given an indication of interest toward her. He took a deep, heavy breath, letting it out in a long, even stream. He was not happy about it, but flying off the handle wouldn't get him anywhere. If there was one thing he had learnt from his encounter with Lily, it was that. He'd deal with it later, when he had time to properly sort through that mess of emotion without anyone to see.
He changed the subject abruptly. "You are almost obsessively worried: about Potter, and about me.” He said it softly, plainly, knowing that the simple statement would garner a more thorough response from her than any question would.
Hermione’s fingers worried a lock of her hair. True to his expectations, she immediately began talking. "I am worried about the boys; that cannot be a surprise to you. Even if things are uncomfortable between them and me or just “between us,” they have still been my friends for a long time. I’m used to being someone Harry turns to, you see, and he has an enormous propensity for getting in trouble.
"And yes, I am worried about you. Especially you." Her eyes met his. "I love you, and it can't have escaped your notice that you seem to get sick in some way every time you leave Hogwarts. It seems to happen earlier and get worse faster. I'm scared of how bad it will get in the summer when we leave for several weeks again. The last time you were away for so long was when you'd only first arrived, and by the time school started you could hardly stand. Have you talked to Madam Pomfrey about it at all?"
Severus squirmed a little and shook his head. "No, I haven't wanted to worry her. She wasn't able to do anything about my cold over the summer, after all." He studied her quietly and said, "I've gotten sick at Hogwarts once or twice, as well, but I'm not certain if it is the same kind of sick or just an ordinary cold. I can't really research it without more data. I hadn't realised you were so concerned about it."
Hermione narrowed her eyes as she thought, then suddenly stood, gathering her things from the library table. "I am. And yes, we can. At least, as it may or may not pertain to your special circumstances."
"What do you mean?" Severus eyed her, cautious. The last time she'd had this particular glint in her eye she had spent almost a week in the dusty archives of the library, hardly surfacing for meals. He'd had to come and bodily drag her out on one occasion.
"I mean that we do still have a Magical Theory teacher who we could at least have a hypothetical conversation with, and you were told that you're not the first--by the Sorting Hat, not Vector! That means someone like you has come through Hogwarts before. There's precedent, someone is bound to remember. Someone who won't just talk in circles, or lie."
Severus nodded, and then checked the time. "Alright, we still have an hour before lunch. Professor Saxena should still be in his office." Hermione slipped her hand into his, smiling brilliantly as they left.
They found Professor Satish Saxena staring intently at a map of Hogwarts and its grounds, tapping a long finger against his lips. He glanced up when they entered and smiled in welcome, tapping the map to roll it up with a snap. "Ah, Miss Granger. One of my favourite young debaters. Did you read the book I recommended?"
Hermione shook her head. "No sir, I mean, yes, it was fascinating, but actually we've come for another reason."
The young professor looked surprised. "Oh? As I recall neither of you are having trouble in my class."
Severus shifted his weight. "No, sir, we were reading the supplemental text. Class covers how magic displaces space and time on a regular basis in the wizarding world, but I've noticed we haven't really spent any time on time travel itself."
Professor Saxena looked both amused and resigned. "It's not something that is taught in school, even to the Seventh Years. That sort of knowledge is generally gained through an appropriate apprenticeship." He lifted a brow wryly at Hermione. "No doubt you've already exhausted what resources you can find in the library?"
Severus failed to stifle his laugh. Hermione certainly had a reputation! She blushed and glared a little in response. Professor Saxena chuckled and shrugged. "Alright, I suppose I can go over the basics with you. Time travel is theoretically possible using a variety of methods. The most obvious way would to use the Time point on a Rite Octogram as the focus. However, this is probably the least easy way to go about it. It would take immense power, and if all the casters involved in the rite were not perfectly synchronised, there is an excellent chance it would kill them all.
"Most time travellers use an enchanted object as a catalyst. There are a few such objects out there: Time-Turners, a few variations of magical sundials. There's a room in Mumbai that could allegedly do it, but doesn't work now. There's another at Petra that the Jordanians claim still works. All of them are very carefully guarded and monitored. From what I understand, only the Petra room can transport further back than a single day."
"Can you only go backward?" Severus asked, "Or can you time-travel forward as well?" He knew he was probably tickling the proverbial sleeping dragon by asking, but couldn't seem to help himself.
The professor shrugged. "That's where things get a bit murky. There are recorded instances of it happening, but in every case it has proven to be more difficult than going back. Most researchers believe it can't be done cleanly--that because it is so far outside of the natural order of things, something will always go wrong."
Severus, and he carefully did not look at Hermione. "Like...it might make you sick? Or…?"
Professor Saxena laughed and settled back, leaning against his own desk. "I don't know that much about it, Mister Prince. My mastery is in spells, but time travel was not a focus of mine. I suppose it could make you sick, or it maybe it would scramble your mind, or drain your magic, or it might even rip you apart entirely. Time travel is very heavily regulated in every nation I know of that has succeeded in it, and detailed accounts or research about forward travellers are just not available. All I can really tell you are theories."
Hermione jumped in, "Like what? What kind of hypothetical theory? Why would it rip you apart?"
The professor shook his head. "You are incredibly persistent, Miss Granger. You recall another point on the Rite Octagram is thought or will? The future is not set. Travelling backward works because everything you might do or change has already happened; it's a closed loop. You've already made the decision to go back, you've already made the changes that you decide to make by the time you decide to go back. At least, that's the prevailing theory. The future is a bit more complicated. There are a couple different theories regarding the future. It's why Divination is such an imprecise art."
Hermione snorted and Severus hid a grin.
"Yes," Professor Saxena said dryly, "I'm well aware of your opinions on the matter. You'll notice I said art, not science, Miss Granger. Divination, despite your misgivings, is certainly real; true prophesies and readings exist. When it comes to time travel, however…" He shrugged. "One theory is that every decision you are presented with creates an alternate possibility. This makes jumping to or reading the 'right' future--as it were--difficult. So, theoretically, you could jump to more than one possible future and tear yourself apart. It's exerting a great deal of magical pressure on a fundamental force. Since ripping a force of nature is close to impossible, you would be more likely to rip yourself.
"Another theory is that time flows like a river down a mountain. Pieces of it may branch off and eddy with decisions and circumstances, but in the end, there are only so many paths down and it all ends up eventually in the same place--the bottom. So this theory posits that jumping forward is only possible to those non-branching points, the places that are fixed; unable to change no matter what decisions are made, and that regardless of what you do, the end result will be the same. Because your presence may be needed for one of those fixed points to remain fixed, it would be impossible to push yourself out of time ahead of those points."
Unless... thought Severus, unless magic tries to correct the problem by creating a copy ahead of the fixed point. The idea chilled him. His mouth dry, he managed to say, "Well, it's certainly interesting, isn't it? Thank you for indulging us, sir, but, uh, it's nearly lunch time."
His professor looked amused again, and said, "I'll escort the two of you down."
"What about a potion?" Hermione asked as they made their way toward the stairs. "If time can be manipulated by something as small as a Time-Turner, surely a potion could, as well. Professor Snape has always maintained that Potions Magic is the equal of any spell."
The Magical Theory professor nodded sagely. "It is, though they don't always accomplish the same precise thing. Both spells and potions can heal, but not quite the same way, after all. Potions, Ley, Spells and Runic magic all complement each other; they don't compete with each other. Nearly everything important in this world hinges on a balance of four. Why else would it be 'the most important Arithmantical number?'" he asked philosophically.
Severus thought about it, murmuring, "The Octogram is two sets of four: the elements and the forces."
"There were four Founders, too. Two male, two female, each a master in a separate magical field," Hermione added.
Professor Saxena smiled broadly and nodded. "Even your basic health is a balance between mental and physical, the spiritual and the social. Damage one, the rest suffer." The professor gave Hermione a pointed look.
"Why did you give me that look?" she asked.
The professor pursed his lips. "It is no secret, Miss Granger, that a rift exists between you and your friends. Call it friendly advice."
"I'm not the one who did anything wrong, and I'm tired of always being the one who must apologise. I won't do it this time."
The professor shrugged softly. "As you say, meri peyari."
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 3 March 1998 3:30 PM
Severus was only idly listening to Professor Flitwick's lecture on permanently charming objects. Instead, he was making notes in his book about interesting Latin combinations to try stringing together based on root wand motions. The double class was nearly over, when across the centre aisle, Lavender Brown suddenly stood and shrieked at the boy next to her. "You are such an unbelievable arsehole Ron Weasley!" Her wand flashed in his direction. Weasley gave a surprised, pained shout before he was blown backward out of his chair.
"Accio." Professor Flitwick's wand snapped with surprising speed. Lavender’s wand was in his hand the next moment, and he was already working his way toward the fallen redhead, but the girl wasn't done. She waved a scrap of paper, clearly a note that she had either been passed or had been intercepted, continuing to shriek as if they weren't in the middle of class.
"You've been avoiding me for weeks. Weeks! Then Parvarti had it from Seamus who had it from Dean that you never did play pick-up Quidditch last week with her and Harry and Angelina, because Ginny was with Dean that whole time! Which means you're sneaking around behind my back! Now, this!" Lavender shook the paper again. "I can't believe you told Harry that I'm an annoying airhead! And you called me a bint!" Her arm dropped to her side, and tears started to leak down her face. "I should hex you to pieces!"
"Miss Brown, twenty points from Gryffindor. Mister Malfoy, Mister Prince, please see Mister Weasley to the hospital wing."
Severus met Malfoy's eyes and gave a short nod as he stood. With a jerk, the other boy stood as well. Weasley appeared to be unconscious, an ugly, burnt gash on the side of his face. Severus whistled low, between his teeth, and muttered, "Nice bit of nasty work. Who would've thought Brown had it in her?"
Malfoy's lips tipped very slightly, the smile not reaching his eyes, and murmured back, "Weasley makes it easy. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed." His wand swished, measured and graceful, and Weasley rose under a non-verbal mobilicorpus. It was well done, and Severus couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice," Severus complimented. Malfoy gave that strange, little smile that didn't reach his eyes again in acknowledgement. Severus studied the other boy covertly, only half paying attention to Weasley as they steered him through the halls. Draco Malfoy was thinner than he should be, his eyes shadowed to the point where they looked almost bruised. His stance was wound tight to the point of brittle, and an alert fear lurked in his eyes. It looked...very wrong on a Malfoy.
It was conflicting. The boy had made it clear that he had no respect for Hermione, would even be happy to see her as a second class member of society. His bullying tactics from earlier in the year had been reminiscent of Black, and once Severus had seen them, he'd written the young Malfoy heir off. And yet… and yet.
This boy's father was his sponsor, his mentor. Lucius Malfoy’s influence had been Severus' protection, both in Slytherin House and out of it. When Severus had slept outside of Gryffindor's dorm and sent what little status he had in Slytherin plummeting, it had been Lucius's influence that had kept his head above water. Only last year, he had used his connections to obtain Severus introduction to the society he would have been otherwise barred from, had offered him a place at his table and a path to a possible apprenticeship. A path that had worked out, if the professor was any indication. Slytherin House took its sponsorships seriously; a debt was owed to Lucius Malfoy and his son, even if he couldn't openly acknowledge it.
Checking to be sure that Weasley was still out of it, he said quietly, "I can't help but notice that you seem to be… out of sorts."
Malfoy's head turned sharply in his direction. "What would you care, Prince?"
"You and I are not friends, but nor am I the sort to run my mouth. Should you need someone to listen without judgement or motivation to tattle, I would. I'd even be willing to swear to keep your confidence."
Draco sneered. "I'm fine." His jaw twitched a little, however, and his eyes held a wary hope of relief. "Why would you offer something like that anyway?"
Severus carefully kept his eyes ahead as the hospital wing finally came into view. "Everyone seems to be taking sides, one or the other. Maybe I'm just the sort that believes that most people have more than one side to them. Offer stands."
They arrived, pointedly not looking at each other, and Madam Pomfrey bustled to meet them, her wand already moving as they transferred the unconscious boy to her care. The courtyard clock struck four, signaling the end of class. Malfoy gave him another sharp look and left, turning on his heel and not looking back.
"Stay a bit, will you, Atreus? We haven't had any time to talk recently." Madam Pomfrey was now smearing some paste onto Weasley's face. Smiling a little, Severus settled in, resigning himself to being mothered and badgered about his marks.
They were wading through a rather embarrassing conversation regarding Hermione and whether or not he was being safe--Merlin!--when Hermione showed up with Potter. The two of them were clearly not arriving together, their avoidance of each other palpable.
"Is he alright?" Hermione asked, nodding her chin at Weasley.
"I thought you were here for him.” Potter crossed his arms defensively, glaring at Severus. "Why do you care if Ron's alright? You haven't spoken to either of us in two months."
His girlfriend rolled her eyes. "You haven't spoken to me either, Harry Potter. It doesn't mean I don't care. You've been my best friends for years. I care. I just… don't understand why everything always has to be you and your opinion and your way or against you. You got along alright with Atreus before you found out. Now you know, and suddenly Atreus can't possibly be the same person you drank butterbeer and played chess and gobstones with? Just because in a different time, he made different choices and became a different person that you don't like? Now you know, and suddenly I'm your enemy, even though we've fought side by side and back to back through all the stupid shite over the years. That doesn't make sense."
Potter's eyes dropped.
Feeling a sense of deja vu, Severus repeated his earlier words to Malfoy. "Maybe people have more than one side to them." He offered it like an olive branch, and Potter glanced up in surprise. "Not everything is black and white and has a straight answer. Would you keep a secret from Hermione if Weasley asked you to? What if Weasley and Professor Dumbledore asked you, and then told you it might kill Weasley if you didn't? That's basically what happened."
Potter nodded. "You're right. I don't… I don't know that you and me will ever be friends, really. But you are right, and I don't want to not be Hermione's friend." He looked at her, and repeated, "I don't want us to not be friends. I'm sorry. But… can we not keep secrets? Please?"
Hermione nodded. "I've only got a couple more, really. I haven't told you because of Atreus, and I haven't told Atreus because of you."
Potter looked confused, and Severus couldn't help but snort a little. Wryly, he asked, "Are you going to offer any clues?"
Hermione looked irritated. "Atreus, Harry hasn't always been as good at Potions as he is this year. In the meantime, Atreus is using his mother's maiden name."
"So?" Potter shrugged belligerently and then froze as he suddenly understood. "Prince. Your last name is Prince, and it was your mum's name... So you… the other you, I mean, were the Half-Blood Prince."
Cautiously, Severus said, "You know that name because..."
"You wrote it in your textbook. Erm. The other you, did, at least."
Both boys stared at each other in mutual horror for a moment. "I'd like my book back, Potter," said Severus.
"Well, it's not like it's yours really, now is it?" Potter replied.
Their conversation was cut short as a student dashed into the hospital wing. "Madam Pomfrey, Madam Pomfrey! Come quick, Professor Slughorn's been poisoned!"
The matron ran out of her office faster than Severus had ever seen her move before. "Where is he?"
"Upstairs, in his rooms, Professor Snape sent me. He's already treating him, but told me to come get you. Says he needs your box!"
"Yes, of course! I'm on my way!" She ran back into her office and re-emerged with a metal box, disappearing out the door.
Severus exchanged a shocked look with his girlfriend. "Poisoned?" she asked, bewildered. "He's a bit annoying, but harmless for the most part. Who would want to poison Professor Slughorn?"
Potter had gone deathly pale. "Voldemort, Hermione. Voldemort would. He knows something. Something I'm supposed to try to find out. Hermione, I forgot that you don't know. Dumbledore's finally told me what he thinks Voldemort's doing, and he says Slughorn knows something about it."
Hermione shook her head. "What could Professor Slughorn possibly know that would threaten Voldemort?"
"Ever heard of a Horcrux?"
A/N: I want to say a special thank you to my beta team, BSC_AG, Vezza and Stgulik, who went through two or three re-writes on this chapter. Thank you, you are all absolute gemstones! Thank you also to Groot, PhoenixRebel, FeliceB and QuinnzelRose. Your comments and conversations these last few weeks were both delightful and just the kick in the pants my motivation needed to get back to work.
I'd also like to throw a more random shout-out to RedsAttic, who I noticed lives not too far from me. I tend to check out the profiles of people who favourite or review me just to see who I reach and what else they enjoy. Your PM feature was turned off, so I was unable to say hello privately, but it was exciting to see that I have a reader from the Puget Sound area. :-D *waves*
Final note: If you are a facebook person and looking for some prompts, I've just started a new group called Tyche's Prompts and Challenges. Anyone in any fandom (or writing original work) is welcome to join. :-)
Previous Chapter Table of Contents To Be Continued...
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 1 March 1998 10:03 AM
Severus sat across from Hermione in the library, their books open around them, and slowly tried to work his way past the mental shields she had erected. He was both frustrated and pleased by how far she had improved in the eight months since he had started teaching her. She had been rather abysmal at keeping him out in the beginning, and he had taken care not penetrate her thoughts very deeply. Despite his curiosity about a girl--any girl--who had an interest in him, the last thing he wanted to do was betray her trust.
Reading Hermione's thoughts in a straightforward manner was now close to impossible; she had learnt to clear her thoughts and freeze her mind into a complicated and confusing maze of thick, crystalline ice, mirrored and jagged all about him like a carnival funhouse. He could sense her thoughts and emotions nearby, little flashes of colour on the ice in his peripheral vision, but couldn't quite locate them, nor find an opening through the reflections, twists and turns. I still have a few ways in, though.
Without warning his hands snapped out and his fingers dug into the sensitive tissue just under her ribs, tickling mercilessly, just as he rammed his consciousness at the nearest wall of ice. The frozen maze suddenly cracked and vanished, and Severus found himself diving deep into her mind before he caught himself. He found a deep, nagging anxiety there, swirling around several subjects. The Dark Lord and the war were chief among them, as were Potter and Weasley. How they were getting along without her, both in their schoolwork and in whatever special tasks Professor Dumbledore had set the messy-haired boy? She worried about Severus, too. She had noticed that he seemed to be ill when he left Hogwarts, and that the illness was accelerating in seriousness in shorter periods of time. She worried something was seriously wrong, and she worried he'd find out about her secret, and shun her like Potter for keeping it.
Reflexively he wanted to dig deeper, to uncover what she was hiding and assuage his own insecurity. Was she lying about her feelings? Hiding something about the professor? Severus' own fears seemed to entangle with hers and reflect back, doubling and rebounding until he had trouble distinguishing her panic from his own. Severus sucked in a deep breath, recoiling from the recesses of her mind as what he was doing struck him. However curious and concerned he was, violating her privacy and betraying her trust was the last thing he wanted to do.
For a moment they both sat, breathing heavily and staring at each other. Then Hermione's eyes closed miserably, her head bowing. Feeling ashamed, and terrified she would leave him, Severus gripped the table in front of him. "I'm sorry," he offered, his voice catching. "I didn't mean to go so deep. I didn't… I didn't see whatever it was, and I won't ask. Hermione?"
Her eyes lifted again to meet his squarely, and he could see a detachment in them that meant her Occlumancy shields were back up in full force. She said quietly, "I know you didn't mean to go that deep; all the same... don't do it again. Not without permission. That was…" she trailed off, and shuddered before collecting herself. Her tone became business-like. "I would rather try to address whatever you managed to see rather than let it poison us, though, if you have questions or worries."
Severus nearly collapsed on the table in relief. She wasn't going to storm off and never speak to him again. Instead, she was offering to discuss what he had seen. She really was brave. Sometimes he forgot, with the conversations they had and her thirst for knowledge, that she wasn't sorted properly into Ravenclaw.
"I saw that you are deeply worried about a lot of things." Severus dropped his eyes to the table, reluctant. When she remained silent, he continued, "You're worried about Potter and Weasley and the Dark Lord. You're worried about me, and how I've been getting sick, and...and you're worried that I'll find something out that you don't want me to." He was whispering as he finished, uncertain if he should ask despite wanting to.
Hermione nodded. "Yes. I have a couple secrets, to be honest. I can't tell you one of them. I honestly want to, but Dumbledore has made me promise to not say anything to anyone. I swear I would not keep it from you if it were my choice." She hesitated, then added in a small voice, "I hope you understand."
"I'm not as stupid as Potter," he answered, recalling her earlier thoughts. "It isn't your secret to tell."
She let out a small sigh of relief. "Exactly. The other secret… well, I'd rather not say, but I don't want you upset and worried over me keeping it." Her lips thinned when she saw his carefully blank expression. "You have a powerful voice. It's rather sinfully delicious to listen to; you could probably turn me on reading the dictionary."
Severus felt his mouth curl into a naughty smile, and lowered his voice to a sultry, rolling purr. "Is it really so awful that I would know how to… arouse you?" To his delight, her eyes dilated in response and her cheeks flushed.
"Um, yes, I mean no. It's just that, the problem is, you're not the only one who's got it, and he can be rather… enthused about his current subject. So…"
An ugly, unreasonably jealous emotion rose in him, and he struggled to reign it in. His older self did have the same voice, even if they weren't really the same person anymore. Severus clamped down on his emotions hard, thinking furiously. Perhaps this was why she had seemed less than perfectly honest when he had asked if his older self had given an indication of interest toward her. He took a deep, heavy breath, letting it out in a long, even stream. He was not happy about it, but flying off the handle wouldn't get him anywhere. If there was one thing he had learnt from his encounter with Lily, it was that. He'd deal with it later, when he had time to properly sort through that mess of emotion without anyone to see.
He changed the subject abruptly. "You are almost obsessively worried: about Potter, and about me.” He said it softly, plainly, knowing that the simple statement would garner a more thorough response from her than any question would.
Hermione’s fingers worried a lock of her hair. True to his expectations, she immediately began talking. "I am worried about the boys; that cannot be a surprise to you. Even if things are uncomfortable between them and me or just “between us,” they have still been my friends for a long time. I’m used to being someone Harry turns to, you see, and he has an enormous propensity for getting in trouble.
"And yes, I am worried about you. Especially you." Her eyes met his. "I love you, and it can't have escaped your notice that you seem to get sick in some way every time you leave Hogwarts. It seems to happen earlier and get worse faster. I'm scared of how bad it will get in the summer when we leave for several weeks again. The last time you were away for so long was when you'd only first arrived, and by the time school started you could hardly stand. Have you talked to Madam Pomfrey about it at all?"
Severus squirmed a little and shook his head. "No, I haven't wanted to worry her. She wasn't able to do anything about my cold over the summer, after all." He studied her quietly and said, "I've gotten sick at Hogwarts once or twice, as well, but I'm not certain if it is the same kind of sick or just an ordinary cold. I can't really research it without more data. I hadn't realised you were so concerned about it."
Hermione narrowed her eyes as she thought, then suddenly stood, gathering her things from the library table. "I am. And yes, we can. At least, as it may or may not pertain to your special circumstances."
"What do you mean?" Severus eyed her, cautious. The last time she'd had this particular glint in her eye she had spent almost a week in the dusty archives of the library, hardly surfacing for meals. He'd had to come and bodily drag her out on one occasion.
"I mean that we do still have a Magical Theory teacher who we could at least have a hypothetical conversation with, and you were told that you're not the first--by the Sorting Hat, not Vector! That means someone like you has come through Hogwarts before. There's precedent, someone is bound to remember. Someone who won't just talk in circles, or lie."
Severus nodded, and then checked the time. "Alright, we still have an hour before lunch. Professor Saxena should still be in his office." Hermione slipped her hand into his, smiling brilliantly as they left.
They found Professor Satish Saxena staring intently at a map of Hogwarts and its grounds, tapping a long finger against his lips. He glanced up when they entered and smiled in welcome, tapping the map to roll it up with a snap. "Ah, Miss Granger. One of my favourite young debaters. Did you read the book I recommended?"
Hermione shook her head. "No sir, I mean, yes, it was fascinating, but actually we've come for another reason."
The young professor looked surprised. "Oh? As I recall neither of you are having trouble in my class."
Severus shifted his weight. "No, sir, we were reading the supplemental text. Class covers how magic displaces space and time on a regular basis in the wizarding world, but I've noticed we haven't really spent any time on time travel itself."
Professor Saxena looked both amused and resigned. "It's not something that is taught in school, even to the Seventh Years. That sort of knowledge is generally gained through an appropriate apprenticeship." He lifted a brow wryly at Hermione. "No doubt you've already exhausted what resources you can find in the library?"
Severus failed to stifle his laugh. Hermione certainly had a reputation! She blushed and glared a little in response. Professor Saxena chuckled and shrugged. "Alright, I suppose I can go over the basics with you. Time travel is theoretically possible using a variety of methods. The most obvious way would to use the Time point on a Rite Octogram as the focus. However, this is probably the least easy way to go about it. It would take immense power, and if all the casters involved in the rite were not perfectly synchronised, there is an excellent chance it would kill them all.
"Most time travellers use an enchanted object as a catalyst. There are a few such objects out there: Time-Turners, a few variations of magical sundials. There's a room in Mumbai that could allegedly do it, but doesn't work now. There's another at Petra that the Jordanians claim still works. All of them are very carefully guarded and monitored. From what I understand, only the Petra room can transport further back than a single day."
"Can you only go backward?" Severus asked, "Or can you time-travel forward as well?" He knew he was probably tickling the proverbial sleeping dragon by asking, but couldn't seem to help himself.
The professor shrugged. "That's where things get a bit murky. There are recorded instances of it happening, but in every case it has proven to be more difficult than going back. Most researchers believe it can't be done cleanly--that because it is so far outside of the natural order of things, something will always go wrong."
Severus, and he carefully did not look at Hermione. "Like...it might make you sick? Or…?"
Professor Saxena laughed and settled back, leaning against his own desk. "I don't know that much about it, Mister Prince. My mastery is in spells, but time travel was not a focus of mine. I suppose it could make you sick, or it maybe it would scramble your mind, or drain your magic, or it might even rip you apart entirely. Time travel is very heavily regulated in every nation I know of that has succeeded in it, and detailed accounts or research about forward travellers are just not available. All I can really tell you are theories."
Hermione jumped in, "Like what? What kind of hypothetical theory? Why would it rip you apart?"
The professor shook his head. "You are incredibly persistent, Miss Granger. You recall another point on the Rite Octagram is thought or will? The future is not set. Travelling backward works because everything you might do or change has already happened; it's a closed loop. You've already made the decision to go back, you've already made the changes that you decide to make by the time you decide to go back. At least, that's the prevailing theory. The future is a bit more complicated. There are a couple different theories regarding the future. It's why Divination is such an imprecise art."
Hermione snorted and Severus hid a grin.
"Yes," Professor Saxena said dryly, "I'm well aware of your opinions on the matter. You'll notice I said art, not science, Miss Granger. Divination, despite your misgivings, is certainly real; true prophesies and readings exist. When it comes to time travel, however…" He shrugged. "One theory is that every decision you are presented with creates an alternate possibility. This makes jumping to or reading the 'right' future--as it were--difficult. So, theoretically, you could jump to more than one possible future and tear yourself apart. It's exerting a great deal of magical pressure on a fundamental force. Since ripping a force of nature is close to impossible, you would be more likely to rip yourself.
"Another theory is that time flows like a river down a mountain. Pieces of it may branch off and eddy with decisions and circumstances, but in the end, there are only so many paths down and it all ends up eventually in the same place--the bottom. So this theory posits that jumping forward is only possible to those non-branching points, the places that are fixed; unable to change no matter what decisions are made, and that regardless of what you do, the end result will be the same. Because your presence may be needed for one of those fixed points to remain fixed, it would be impossible to push yourself out of time ahead of those points."
Unless... thought Severus, unless magic tries to correct the problem by creating a copy ahead of the fixed point. The idea chilled him. His mouth dry, he managed to say, "Well, it's certainly interesting, isn't it? Thank you for indulging us, sir, but, uh, it's nearly lunch time."
His professor looked amused again, and said, "I'll escort the two of you down."
"What about a potion?" Hermione asked as they made their way toward the stairs. "If time can be manipulated by something as small as a Time-Turner, surely a potion could, as well. Professor Snape has always maintained that Potions Magic is the equal of any spell."
The Magical Theory professor nodded sagely. "It is, though they don't always accomplish the same precise thing. Both spells and potions can heal, but not quite the same way, after all. Potions, Ley, Spells and Runic magic all complement each other; they don't compete with each other. Nearly everything important in this world hinges on a balance of four. Why else would it be 'the most important Arithmantical number?'" he asked philosophically.
Severus thought about it, murmuring, "The Octogram is two sets of four: the elements and the forces."
"There were four Founders, too. Two male, two female, each a master in a separate magical field," Hermione added.
Professor Saxena smiled broadly and nodded. "Even your basic health is a balance between mental and physical, the spiritual and the social. Damage one, the rest suffer." The professor gave Hermione a pointed look.
"Why did you give me that look?" she asked.
The professor pursed his lips. "It is no secret, Miss Granger, that a rift exists between you and your friends. Call it friendly advice."
"I'm not the one who did anything wrong, and I'm tired of always being the one who must apologise. I won't do it this time."
The professor shrugged softly. "As you say, meri peyari."
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 3 March 1998 3:30 PM
Severus was only idly listening to Professor Flitwick's lecture on permanently charming objects. Instead, he was making notes in his book about interesting Latin combinations to try stringing together based on root wand motions. The double class was nearly over, when across the centre aisle, Lavender Brown suddenly stood and shrieked at the boy next to her. "You are such an unbelievable arsehole Ron Weasley!" Her wand flashed in his direction. Weasley gave a surprised, pained shout before he was blown backward out of his chair.
"Accio." Professor Flitwick's wand snapped with surprising speed. Lavender’s wand was in his hand the next moment, and he was already working his way toward the fallen redhead, but the girl wasn't done. She waved a scrap of paper, clearly a note that she had either been passed or had been intercepted, continuing to shriek as if they weren't in the middle of class.
"You've been avoiding me for weeks. Weeks! Then Parvarti had it from Seamus who had it from Dean that you never did play pick-up Quidditch last week with her and Harry and Angelina, because Ginny was with Dean that whole time! Which means you're sneaking around behind my back! Now, this!" Lavender shook the paper again. "I can't believe you told Harry that I'm an annoying airhead! And you called me a bint!" Her arm dropped to her side, and tears started to leak down her face. "I should hex you to pieces!"
"Miss Brown, twenty points from Gryffindor. Mister Malfoy, Mister Prince, please see Mister Weasley to the hospital wing."
Severus met Malfoy's eyes and gave a short nod as he stood. With a jerk, the other boy stood as well. Weasley appeared to be unconscious, an ugly, burnt gash on the side of his face. Severus whistled low, between his teeth, and muttered, "Nice bit of nasty work. Who would've thought Brown had it in her?"
Malfoy's lips tipped very slightly, the smile not reaching his eyes, and murmured back, "Weasley makes it easy. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed." His wand swished, measured and graceful, and Weasley rose under a non-verbal mobilicorpus. It was well done, and Severus couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice," Severus complimented. Malfoy gave that strange, little smile that didn't reach his eyes again in acknowledgement. Severus studied the other boy covertly, only half paying attention to Weasley as they steered him through the halls. Draco Malfoy was thinner than he should be, his eyes shadowed to the point where they looked almost bruised. His stance was wound tight to the point of brittle, and an alert fear lurked in his eyes. It looked...very wrong on a Malfoy.
It was conflicting. The boy had made it clear that he had no respect for Hermione, would even be happy to see her as a second class member of society. His bullying tactics from earlier in the year had been reminiscent of Black, and once Severus had seen them, he'd written the young Malfoy heir off. And yet… and yet.
This boy's father was his sponsor, his mentor. Lucius Malfoy’s influence had been Severus' protection, both in Slytherin House and out of it. When Severus had slept outside of Gryffindor's dorm and sent what little status he had in Slytherin plummeting, it had been Lucius's influence that had kept his head above water. Only last year, he had used his connections to obtain Severus introduction to the society he would have been otherwise barred from, had offered him a place at his table and a path to a possible apprenticeship. A path that had worked out, if the professor was any indication. Slytherin House took its sponsorships seriously; a debt was owed to Lucius Malfoy and his son, even if he couldn't openly acknowledge it.
Checking to be sure that Weasley was still out of it, he said quietly, "I can't help but notice that you seem to be… out of sorts."
Malfoy's head turned sharply in his direction. "What would you care, Prince?"
"You and I are not friends, but nor am I the sort to run my mouth. Should you need someone to listen without judgement or motivation to tattle, I would. I'd even be willing to swear to keep your confidence."
Draco sneered. "I'm fine." His jaw twitched a little, however, and his eyes held a wary hope of relief. "Why would you offer something like that anyway?"
Severus carefully kept his eyes ahead as the hospital wing finally came into view. "Everyone seems to be taking sides, one or the other. Maybe I'm just the sort that believes that most people have more than one side to them. Offer stands."
They arrived, pointedly not looking at each other, and Madam Pomfrey bustled to meet them, her wand already moving as they transferred the unconscious boy to her care. The courtyard clock struck four, signaling the end of class. Malfoy gave him another sharp look and left, turning on his heel and not looking back.
"Stay a bit, will you, Atreus? We haven't had any time to talk recently." Madam Pomfrey was now smearing some paste onto Weasley's face. Smiling a little, Severus settled in, resigning himself to being mothered and badgered about his marks.
They were wading through a rather embarrassing conversation regarding Hermione and whether or not he was being safe--Merlin!--when Hermione showed up with Potter. The two of them were clearly not arriving together, their avoidance of each other palpable.
"Is he alright?" Hermione asked, nodding her chin at Weasley.
"I thought you were here for him.” Potter crossed his arms defensively, glaring at Severus. "Why do you care if Ron's alright? You haven't spoken to either of us in two months."
His girlfriend rolled her eyes. "You haven't spoken to me either, Harry Potter. It doesn't mean I don't care. You've been my best friends for years. I care. I just… don't understand why everything always has to be you and your opinion and your way or against you. You got along alright with Atreus before you found out. Now you know, and suddenly Atreus can't possibly be the same person you drank butterbeer and played chess and gobstones with? Just because in a different time, he made different choices and became a different person that you don't like? Now you know, and suddenly I'm your enemy, even though we've fought side by side and back to back through all the stupid shite over the years. That doesn't make sense."
Potter's eyes dropped.
Feeling a sense of deja vu, Severus repeated his earlier words to Malfoy. "Maybe people have more than one side to them." He offered it like an olive branch, and Potter glanced up in surprise. "Not everything is black and white and has a straight answer. Would you keep a secret from Hermione if Weasley asked you to? What if Weasley and Professor Dumbledore asked you, and then told you it might kill Weasley if you didn't? That's basically what happened."
Potter nodded. "You're right. I don't… I don't know that you and me will ever be friends, really. But you are right, and I don't want to not be Hermione's friend." He looked at her, and repeated, "I don't want us to not be friends. I'm sorry. But… can we not keep secrets? Please?"
Hermione nodded. "I've only got a couple more, really. I haven't told you because of Atreus, and I haven't told Atreus because of you."
Potter looked confused, and Severus couldn't help but snort a little. Wryly, he asked, "Are you going to offer any clues?"
Hermione looked irritated. "Atreus, Harry hasn't always been as good at Potions as he is this year. In the meantime, Atreus is using his mother's maiden name."
"So?" Potter shrugged belligerently and then froze as he suddenly understood. "Prince. Your last name is Prince, and it was your mum's name... So you… the other you, I mean, were the Half-Blood Prince."
Cautiously, Severus said, "You know that name because..."
"You wrote it in your textbook. Erm. The other you, did, at least."
Both boys stared at each other in mutual horror for a moment. "I'd like my book back, Potter," said Severus.
"Well, it's not like it's yours really, now is it?" Potter replied.
Their conversation was cut short as a student dashed into the hospital wing. "Madam Pomfrey, Madam Pomfrey! Come quick, Professor Slughorn's been poisoned!"
The matron ran out of her office faster than Severus had ever seen her move before. "Where is he?"
"Upstairs, in his rooms, Professor Snape sent me. He's already treating him, but told me to come get you. Says he needs your box!"
"Yes, of course! I'm on my way!" She ran back into her office and re-emerged with a metal box, disappearing out the door.
Severus exchanged a shocked look with his girlfriend. "Poisoned?" she asked, bewildered. "He's a bit annoying, but harmless for the most part. Who would want to poison Professor Slughorn?"
Potter had gone deathly pale. "Voldemort, Hermione. Voldemort would. He knows something. Something I'm supposed to try to find out. Hermione, I forgot that you don't know. Dumbledore's finally told me what he thinks Voldemort's doing, and he says Slughorn knows something about it."
Hermione shook her head. "What could Professor Slughorn possibly know that would threaten Voldemort?"
"Ever heard of a Horcrux?"
A/N: I want to say a special thank you to my beta team, BSC_AG, Vezza and Stgulik, who went through two or three re-writes on this chapter. Thank you, you are all absolute gemstones! Thank you also to Groot, PhoenixRebel, FeliceB and QuinnzelRose. Your comments and conversations these last few weeks were both delightful and just the kick in the pants my motivation needed to get back to work.
I'd also like to throw a more random shout-out to RedsAttic, who I noticed lives not too far from me. I tend to check out the profiles of people who favourite or review me just to see who I reach and what else they enjoy. Your PM feature was turned off, so I was unable to say hello privately, but it was exciting to see that I have a reader from the Puget Sound area. :-D *waves*
Final note: If you are a facebook person and looking for some prompts, I've just started a new group called Tyche's Prompts and Challenges. Anyone in any fandom (or writing original work) is welcome to join. :-)
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