Not sure what's going on..
I think I'm on the wrong medication. It started out OK but then my doctor kept upping one of the medications and now I feel sedated all the time and I'm not getting any work done for my in-depth classes that have 5-8 page papers due, take home tests due and GIS projects due, etc. And on top of that, I've had back spasms for the past week or two, maybe longer-- i dunno-- and its making it even harder to feel motivated to do anything because I can't sit at a computer or sit in general, upright, for more than about 30 minutes without wanting to stand up or lay flat on my back... which makes it insanely painful to sit in class for and hour or two at a time. Boo :( The only things that I've finished are the class homework assignments that take, at the most, an hour.
...and because I'm feeling so sluggish and sedated that I just want to drop out of school and do nothing-- and that's depressing in itself. I feel like a failure but at the same time I feel like I've had no control over it. It just ... happened. I'm at a loss. I'm sad.
Also... It takes me til at least after 12pm to feel awake and ready to take on anything-- otherwise, i feel catatonic. The only time I feel remotely energized is when my boyfriend is around and we're hanging out-- even then I'm kinda blah sometimes. It's not him at all, I'm totally in love with him and that's one of the emotions that isn't totally sedated but it's just...something I can't explain :/
On top of the fact that I feel so sedated, my anxiety is up like 10 fold and I feel as though I'm going to die half of the time. It's like everything that was happening (medicine wise) 7 years ago has returned. It's miserable and it scares me.