(no subject)
So ok I pretty much can feel that its going to be over between Megan nad I....but i really don't want to let go. Its just she really doesn't even care...so why do I so much? I can't help but love her, but i have to be strong enough to let go because if I don't she will just walk all over me time and time again. Its not to say that Megan is not a good girlfriend...just not with the distance part....I think its really sad how the Marines have changed her, but I respect everything she has done and is doing. Its not like i didnt think she would change, but I didn't think she would be so heartless. What really gets me is last time we talked on the phone (June 6th) We still talked about getting married, and our future plans...but it was basically all I lie, she knew all along she didn't care about me...so why play games and drag me along to get hurt? Honestly in my heart I want to be with he....if its now or in the future, but i doubt she is waiting, so why should I. My mom says that we are both young should be out seeing the world yadda yadda, but my mom always says stuff like that cause she doesn't believe in love(she says its always one sided)...although I am starting to think maybe she is right...I mean I love Megan with all my heart and soul, and she can't even make 5 mins to call...I hate Megan for doing this to me, it really feels like my whole life just went down the drain, but i know I have to get over it. Although they say you never really get over your first love...Well I know I am making all my entreies too long and pretty much all the same, so I will shut up now.