(no subject)
So I finally talked with Megan...well through e-mail anyway...but I dont think I really got any further...and I think its basically over...I was so stressed out I couldnt even work today. After about 2 hrs I told my boss I needed to call it a day...(which is fine there cause I can basically come and go as I please) but I really needed sometime to reflect on things, but here is the e-mail convos we have had:
So I fianlly heard from Megan...yet I still know nothing other then she just been bad about puttin me off...wtf is that, but I am pretty sure its about over between us which is incredibly sad...I couldn't even wrok today I am kinda heartbroken....I worked for about 2 hrs then came home. Its funny cause I woke up at about 6:30 and couldnt sleep something was teling me to get online, and sure enough Megan had e-mail me and was acctaully on myspace, but I didn't get to talk to her, but this is the e-mail: I was at the konnect cafe thing we have here, just surfing. I know I haven't called, or written, or emailed. I can't always get to the computer place because I don't always have cash on me, and I feel kind of bad asking someone else to use their computer. ANYWAY I realize you're pissed off. I've been blowing you off real bad, and I don't think you'd accept an apology. I know its hard being this far apart, and I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I dont know what to do. I do love you and I do miss you and I'll call soon.
Love, Megan
This was the original e-mail
Matt -- wrote:
Ummm babe? Is there something you want to tell me, or are you just not talking to me ever again....I would really like to know whats going on, I am extremly pissed off about the situation, but I am trying to stay calm...I know you have been online cause you logged onto myspace and it shows that you were logged on....so why couldnt you send me a fucking message...how hard is that god dammint...I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but if you want to break up with me at least fucking tell me, I can't stand going through this....and you could never do something like this to someone you love....I just can't believe that you of all people would do something like this to me, it doesn't make any fucking sense, and I apoligize for my language but I am extremely pissed off....I love you babe, but I don't can't put up with this shit for no damn reason....call me or e-mail me or something soon, real soon.
This was my reply to her e-mail
Your so full of shit, I can't believe you'd do this to me you know how much I love you...yet you dont even care. I am not going to break up with you cause thats probably what you want. If you want it do it your fucking self, and I know your far away but thats no excuse to not keep in touch, I thought that you loved me and that I was your fiance, but I guess that means nothing to you. It hurts me a whole lot that you can do this and I can tell you really don't care. You didn't even apoligize, you just said you know i wouldn't accept one....you didn't even let me know whats going on....I just really can't believe that after all this time, you have no reason other then you were just putting me off....Listen babe I love you, you know I do...and Amy and some other people say maybe she just needs time to think, soul search, if thats the case fucking tell me that, or whatever. The thing is babe I do love you, but I can't promise to wait forever....figure out what you want to do and let me fucking know, because whats going on right now is total bullshit and I don't deserve it, nor should I put up with it.
So I am thinking its pretty much over, but I think I will be alright eventually...I mean it hurts, bad....but such is life....and we all have to have our hearts broken eventaully....Maybe Megan and I will still end up together....I hope so but its really not up to me anymore.
So I fianlly heard from Megan...yet I still know nothing other then she just been bad about puttin me off...wtf is that, but I am pretty sure its about over between us which is incredibly sad...I couldn't even wrok today I am kinda heartbroken....I worked for about 2 hrs then came home. Its funny cause I woke up at about 6:30 and couldnt sleep something was teling me to get online, and sure enough Megan had e-mail me and was acctaully on myspace, but I didn't get to talk to her, but this is the e-mail: I was at the konnect cafe thing we have here, just surfing. I know I haven't called, or written, or emailed. I can't always get to the computer place because I don't always have cash on me, and I feel kind of bad asking someone else to use their computer. ANYWAY I realize you're pissed off. I've been blowing you off real bad, and I don't think you'd accept an apology. I know its hard being this far apart, and I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I dont know what to do. I do love you and I do miss you and I'll call soon.
Love, Megan
This was the original e-mail
Matt -- wrote:
Ummm babe? Is there something you want to tell me, or are you just not talking to me ever again....I would really like to know whats going on, I am extremly pissed off about the situation, but I am trying to stay calm...I know you have been online cause you logged onto myspace and it shows that you were logged on....so why couldnt you send me a fucking message...how hard is that god dammint...I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but if you want to break up with me at least fucking tell me, I can't stand going through this....and you could never do something like this to someone you love....I just can't believe that you of all people would do something like this to me, it doesn't make any fucking sense, and I apoligize for my language but I am extremely pissed off....I love you babe, but I don't can't put up with this shit for no damn reason....call me or e-mail me or something soon, real soon.
This was my reply to her e-mail
Your so full of shit, I can't believe you'd do this to me you know how much I love you...yet you dont even care. I am not going to break up with you cause thats probably what you want. If you want it do it your fucking self, and I know your far away but thats no excuse to not keep in touch, I thought that you loved me and that I was your fiance, but I guess that means nothing to you. It hurts me a whole lot that you can do this and I can tell you really don't care. You didn't even apoligize, you just said you know i wouldn't accept one....you didn't even let me know whats going on....I just really can't believe that after all this time, you have no reason other then you were just putting me off....Listen babe I love you, you know I do...and Amy and some other people say maybe she just needs time to think, soul search, if thats the case fucking tell me that, or whatever. The thing is babe I do love you, but I can't promise to wait forever....figure out what you want to do and let me fucking know, because whats going on right now is total bullshit and I don't deserve it, nor should I put up with it.
So I am thinking its pretty much over, but I think I will be alright eventually...I mean it hurts, bad....but such is life....and we all have to have our hearts broken eventaully....Maybe Megan and I will still end up together....I hope so but its really not up to me anymore.