More than one update in a month?!
First the good news: Rupright was kind enough to let me take the exam I missed. *sighs* That was a load off of my back, and as much as I know I didn't deserve it at all, I'm really relieved. I don't care how I did, and I'm fairly certain I didn't do too well... but whatever I did, I know it's better than a 0, and that makes a passing grade a lot more possible in that class.
Additionally, there wasn't any Number Theory over the course of the week, which is yet another gigantic lump of stress that I just didn't have this week...
Lastly, for Differential Equations, there was a quiz. I took it, it was easy; it was take home. There's an exam next week, but that's not something I'm going to stress about, considering the difficulty of the quiz. So... more stress that I just don't have.
More good news, but of a different variety: Sara. There's a school formal dance next week, and I went last year and had a blast. Lots of fun, and I look forward to going again. This year, though, Sara is coming. Her dad was excited to hear her simply say she wanted to go to a social function that he said she could come over. That's a good thing; I get to see her before exams, and that's something I wasn't expecting. Sara-related surprises are always good.
I'm looking forward to seeing Sara, without a doubt. I fear, though, that my anticipation of the dance will only lead to more depression. Last year, while it was awkward because Katie and Glenn had just started going out and I didn't quite know how to act around them being "together" it wasn't so bad, since I could try to just get around that. And, honestly, Linda is a big helper with any social situation. Whether she's sincere or not, she always helps alleviate tension and get people to talk. She's good people. And, of course, last year, if I wasn't hanging out with them, I was hanging out with Sean. He's always reliable for a good time, if not reliable for much else ;).
But this year... clearly it's not the same. Time passes and things change. My relationship with Katie, Glenn, and Yuliy has definitely declined; it's not to the point of hostility but it's particularly taxing to make the effort to be around them. I want to make the effort, and I've been trying to get past the recent troubles, but my apprehension to being around them isn't lessening noticably or very quickly. So, the likelihood of that tension being gone by next Friday is very small. Further, even if it were gone between myself and them, Sara has had no such opportunity to "get over" the guild drama and was probably even more insulted by their actions... so she's probably not going to want to be around them.
As for Sean, we're still on good terms. He hangs out with the smokers, though, and I don't... and while I don't necessarily dislike them it's difficult to initiate a friendly relationship with them, since I'd only be their "friend" when Sean was around... not because I don't like them, but simply because unless Sean is around, I have no reason not to be in my room.
So... it's quite possible that social standings this year will be very awkward. I don't look forward to that. But, as I'm prone to doing, I'm going to suck it all in, hope for the best, and go, whether I feel like chickening out or not.
Maybe Cass will go... and if so, then that'll be a nice "safety net" or whatever.
Ready for more pseudo-depression? Good, cuz you're in for it.
So next year I'm rooming with Derek, Alex, and some other guy. My biggest problem is that I'm rooming next to Alex. I haven't made it any secret among my friends that I dislike Alex. Not as a person, but... you know how it is. Some people are good to be friends with, but never to live with. Alex is one of those people. He plays bad music loudly and incessantly. Moreover, he sings along. Loudly. And incessantly. His singing voice is a combination between Macy Grey and a balloon with its blow hole pulled tight... that's the best way I can think to describe it. His voice shreds my walls like paper and moves without pause straight to my eardrums to wreak havok. I wanted to be on the other side of the suite, but couldn't bear to tell that to him or Derek, for fear of my hatred of him seeping out. So Derek put me next to Alex again. Not surprising; Derek is a light sleeper and I play music (albeit softly) which is why Alex and I were put on the same half of the suite in the first place... the logic was that, since we both play music, we wouldn't annoy each other.
Now I know I should just tell him to play music softer if it's annoying me, but that wouldn't decrease the harpy-like qualities of his voice, rather it would just accentuate them. He'd sing at the same decibel and the crappy music to which he sings would be inaudible. So, basically, I'd have a front-row seat to his freakish ballon air-letting. That's not something I would ever look forward to.
That and, of course, the typical "I don't want to ask him every night to turn down his music" and "I don't want to tell him he has a terrible singing voice" and "I don't want to seem like an ass to whoever he happens to have in his room at the time" arguments as well. *sighs*
I wish I were rooming with Cass again. I can't believe what a wonderful suite we had Freshman year. Robert may not have fit in terribly well, but at least we liked him. This year... I don't talk to my roommates. Robert was a good guy; we talked a heluva lot more than I talk to Vinnie, Derek, or Alex. And I enjoyed talking to Robert... with Vinnie, it's annoying, since he only talks to me when I happen to leave my door open and he's drunk (which is one reason why I've taken to keeping my door closed). With Derek, we only talk when we have business to discuss: upcoming deadlines for papers, tuning in paperwork for room inspections, organizing a room cleaning schedule, and the like. With Alex, it's only to either tell him to turn down his music, or he's asking me something about how he can fix his cracked copy of Norton because it's detecting some virus that he can't get rid of, and he can't update his Windows since it's a cracked copy. I suppose he thinks that, since I sit in front of a computer all day, I care/enjoy/know about solving any and all of his computer troubles. That's the other reason why I keep my door closed.
My roommates suck... but I suppose they're better than some other people who leave the room messy, don't flush, play music loudly and don't care if I ask them to turn it down. They're good people, all around, I guess. I'd just never choose to live with them if a viable alternative presented itself.
The last and biggest part of my current depressed state is the situation with our WOW Guild, the Revolutionary Solids. I just bought the website and have it nearly set up and I'm ready for Val to start hosting it on his server. Our front page looks half decent, if I may say so myself, even if it's non-functioning. We have our forums, which is basically all I wanted. And, even more exciting, Dan just sprung for a dedicated Ventrilo server. So now, we have a good method of communication among guildmembers off of WOW (the forums for discussion and the main page for updates) and on WOW (the Ventrilo server). The bad thing, though, is that ever since the Guild Meeting and the exodus of half of the active guild due to something I said, no one has been online except Pavel, Sara, Yosuf and myself. Mal... I don't know what happened to him. He said he was playing some Star Wars game, and he came back, saying that he was back for good... but he said that more than a week ago, and I haven't seen him since. Vakal and Trevorly, two people everyone seemed to like a lot, just disappeared. They stopped logging on... Yosuf said that Vakal told him he'd be back starting last Monday, but he hasn't been on for more than 2 weeks. Ibiki decided to quit a while ago, and said that he'd come back recently... but I haven't seen him online. Pavel has a lot of newbie friends who he suggested get the game, and he's trying to teach them, but I doubt any of them will last; they don't seem like hardcore gamer-types and you kinda have to be to play an MMORPG and enjoy it. Otherwise they basically say to themselves "What, so there's no end? How do I win? I can't? Eh... I'm gonna go... do HW." As for Thaak, I can't get a good handle on him. He hasn't been online for a while, but that may be because he's got other stuff to do. I have a feeling, though, that the only reason he's in our guild - or even playing WOW for that matter - is because Sara is. I doubt he'll keep playing, though, simply because he was used to being in a huge guild in EQ that did lots of stuff and had huge events. From the looks of it, we're never going to be able to accomplish either of those...which will likely end in him hitting 60, then leaving for a bigger guild or quitting altogether.
So, yeah... the only people left are Cass and Ben. From what it sounds like, they're bored with PvE and were looking for excitement elsewhere. They tried the RP server first, and evidently didn't like it. It's likely that they just discovered that it's no different from a Normal server except that, instead of talking about drugs and how guys shouldn't play girl characters, they talk about how someone's name doesn't follow the rules, or how "it's OK to play a girl character, as long as you have cybersex with me... cuz it's what your character would do" in General Chat. So now they've made characters in the PVP server that Atalia plays on. Honestly, the notion doesn't seem like a bad one; it's one I've been considering for a while... and for that reason, I doubt they'll come back except for a few moments here and there to show they haven't forgotten us.
So... with all of this stuff we've got put into the guild, we no longer really have any guildmates.
I don't know what to do about that... we can't recruit any new people, since we're a relatively high-level guild, now (everyone is 46+) so everyone our level is already in a guild. And, of course, anyone we do recruit is going to be either a lowbie who will have trouble finding a group within the guild (the main reason people join guilds) or will be a high-level person who will leave shortly after seeing that we can't do raid, since we have less than 5 people who could even join a pick-up raid. So, basically, unless we start some huge process of finding lots of new (and good) players, all at once, our guild will stagnate.
One option, of course, is to disband and join another, larger, more active guild. That would likely help all of the high-levels in TRS get groups and such, but... personally, I don't really wanna do that. I really wanted to have a good guild put together, and I wanted to be one of its founders. I was so ready to put forth all of the effort necessary, too. But, I guess... it's just not gonna happen. And if I can't be a part of a guild I can call "my own" I don't really wanna be in it at all. *sighs*
I don't really wanna leave the server, either, because every day I play on Medivh is another day I've invested into the characters there... I probably have more playtime logged into that server than anyone - including Yosuf - in the guild. It's really tough to look at what's probably nearly a month of my life and say "Eh, I'll start over." I mean, I've worked on Scynthia so much to get her to the high-end content simply because everything before then has become boring. If I start over, I'll just have to go through another character's lifetime's worth of that same, boring crap.
It's like Diablo, which makes me really sad. Sure, once you hit 60 (beat Diablo) you could create another character (or go into Nightmare mode) but it's still the same game; you're just playing it over again. Which makes you question whether it's even worth it to hit 60 in the first place... if that's all there is, why pay a subscription to find that out, when you could just download video clips of someone else who's put all that effort into it? You're reaping the reward of what they've sown... and is it really that much of a loss?
This web thread makes me wonder if WOW is worth playing at all. Maybe I'm just succumbing to his views and letting them wash over me... but if I was so confident in WOW in the first place, would I be so easily swayed? I agree with him on his major point, though: there's no socialization in WOW. Sure I've made some friends through my course through Azeroth... and all of the good ones I've invited into the guild. And look who's left. None have stayed, so basically I've emerged at level 58 with the same friends I started with. I guess I should be thankful that I didn't lose them, but still... I've formed no meaningful relationship with any of the people in the guild, obviously, since they've all up and left. In UO I made really good friends with all three of the guilds I was in. The fact that I regretted leaving each and every one of them verifies that. I wouldn't mind going back to UO to try again... but I think the game itself is dead, and it's only the people playing it who are keeping it alive. For that reason, it'd be rather pointless to go back and play it, since I'd have to play through the dead game to get to where everyone else is.
Part of me knows that I'd likely enjoy going through the high-end content that's introduced every so often with a big guild, even if I made no friends in it... but basically that would mean I'd have to level a priest or respec Sourmelina to Restoration simply to get into a raid. All of the "fun" slots are taken already. And if I'm going to start over like that, I might as well switch servers. And if I'm switching servers, I might as well quit, because I can't imagine giving up on 3 characters I enjoy so much just because ...
I don't even know. I've lost my focus... but I think I got my point across. I'm just basically saying that WOW is looking more and more like Diablo II. While Diablo II is a great game, I'm never going to play it again... it's too boring and repetitious. And if WOW ever gets to be like that, well, then there's no point in me paying the subscription when I could just as easily play Diablo II for free.
Yeah... I'm done here. I just have to figure out what to do for the rest of the night, since I'm too depressed to play WOW. Basically I can't stand to play WOW, now, because there's nothing to do but get groups for instances. As much as I enjoy them, I'm sick of having 4 really good groupers, then having to find a 5th, and then have the 5th turn out to be responsible for wipe after wipe after wipe. And, of course, the only real reason to do instances is for items and XP... and that climb to 60 just lost its luster, since there's nothing I'll be able to do at 60 except do the same instances I've been doing 'till 60. As a rogue, there's just ... no reason to hit 60. And, same with a Druid... unless I'm Restoration specced, I'll never get into a group to do any of the exciting instances. And my mage, while fun to play, is only level 24. I'm not ready to commit that much time into my mage when there's no guarantee of a reward at the end.
I suppose I could start up a character on Tichondrius to play with Cass, Ben, and Atalia, and maybe we could just move TRS there... but I don't know that they'd be interested in that. *sighs* Not to mention that'd be basically the same as giving up on Medivh, if not TRS altogether. And, of course, I'd have to play Alliance to play with them, since Atalia is a 60 NE Druid, she's not moving to Horde. Thus Cass is going to play Alliance. Thus Ben will play Alliance. Thus, to play with them, I'd have to play Alliance. That's not really something I look forward to. At least that's one thing WOW has been good at doing. Even on another server, I'm not interested in playing Alliance simply because I see them as wrong, flawed, and altogether evil.
I suppose maybe I should start trying to get over that =\.
*sighs*
I want Sara.
Additionally, there wasn't any Number Theory over the course of the week, which is yet another gigantic lump of stress that I just didn't have this week...
Lastly, for Differential Equations, there was a quiz. I took it, it was easy; it was take home. There's an exam next week, but that's not something I'm going to stress about, considering the difficulty of the quiz. So... more stress that I just don't have.
More good news, but of a different variety: Sara. There's a school formal dance next week, and I went last year and had a blast. Lots of fun, and I look forward to going again. This year, though, Sara is coming. Her dad was excited to hear her simply say she wanted to go to a social function that he said she could come over. That's a good thing; I get to see her before exams, and that's something I wasn't expecting. Sara-related surprises are always good.
I'm looking forward to seeing Sara, without a doubt. I fear, though, that my anticipation of the dance will only lead to more depression. Last year, while it was awkward because Katie and Glenn had just started going out and I didn't quite know how to act around them being "together" it wasn't so bad, since I could try to just get around that. And, honestly, Linda is a big helper with any social situation. Whether she's sincere or not, she always helps alleviate tension and get people to talk. She's good people. And, of course, last year, if I wasn't hanging out with them, I was hanging out with Sean. He's always reliable for a good time, if not reliable for much else ;).
But this year... clearly it's not the same. Time passes and things change. My relationship with Katie, Glenn, and Yuliy has definitely declined; it's not to the point of hostility but it's particularly taxing to make the effort to be around them. I want to make the effort, and I've been trying to get past the recent troubles, but my apprehension to being around them isn't lessening noticably or very quickly. So, the likelihood of that tension being gone by next Friday is very small. Further, even if it were gone between myself and them, Sara has had no such opportunity to "get over" the guild drama and was probably even more insulted by their actions... so she's probably not going to want to be around them.
As for Sean, we're still on good terms. He hangs out with the smokers, though, and I don't... and while I don't necessarily dislike them it's difficult to initiate a friendly relationship with them, since I'd only be their "friend" when Sean was around... not because I don't like them, but simply because unless Sean is around, I have no reason not to be in my room.
So... it's quite possible that social standings this year will be very awkward. I don't look forward to that. But, as I'm prone to doing, I'm going to suck it all in, hope for the best, and go, whether I feel like chickening out or not.
Maybe Cass will go... and if so, then that'll be a nice "safety net" or whatever.
Ready for more pseudo-depression? Good, cuz you're in for it.
So next year I'm rooming with Derek, Alex, and some other guy. My biggest problem is that I'm rooming next to Alex. I haven't made it any secret among my friends that I dislike Alex. Not as a person, but... you know how it is. Some people are good to be friends with, but never to live with. Alex is one of those people. He plays bad music loudly and incessantly. Moreover, he sings along. Loudly. And incessantly. His singing voice is a combination between Macy Grey and a balloon with its blow hole pulled tight... that's the best way I can think to describe it. His voice shreds my walls like paper and moves without pause straight to my eardrums to wreak havok. I wanted to be on the other side of the suite, but couldn't bear to tell that to him or Derek, for fear of my hatred of him seeping out. So Derek put me next to Alex again. Not surprising; Derek is a light sleeper and I play music (albeit softly) which is why Alex and I were put on the same half of the suite in the first place... the logic was that, since we both play music, we wouldn't annoy each other.
Now I know I should just tell him to play music softer if it's annoying me, but that wouldn't decrease the harpy-like qualities of his voice, rather it would just accentuate them. He'd sing at the same decibel and the crappy music to which he sings would be inaudible. So, basically, I'd have a front-row seat to his freakish ballon air-letting. That's not something I would ever look forward to.
That and, of course, the typical "I don't want to ask him every night to turn down his music" and "I don't want to tell him he has a terrible singing voice" and "I don't want to seem like an ass to whoever he happens to have in his room at the time" arguments as well. *sighs*
I wish I were rooming with Cass again. I can't believe what a wonderful suite we had Freshman year. Robert may not have fit in terribly well, but at least we liked him. This year... I don't talk to my roommates. Robert was a good guy; we talked a heluva lot more than I talk to Vinnie, Derek, or Alex. And I enjoyed talking to Robert... with Vinnie, it's annoying, since he only talks to me when I happen to leave my door open and he's drunk (which is one reason why I've taken to keeping my door closed). With Derek, we only talk when we have business to discuss: upcoming deadlines for papers, tuning in paperwork for room inspections, organizing a room cleaning schedule, and the like. With Alex, it's only to either tell him to turn down his music, or he's asking me something about how he can fix his cracked copy of Norton because it's detecting some virus that he can't get rid of, and he can't update his Windows since it's a cracked copy. I suppose he thinks that, since I sit in front of a computer all day, I care/enjoy/know about solving any and all of his computer troubles. That's the other reason why I keep my door closed.
My roommates suck... but I suppose they're better than some other people who leave the room messy, don't flush, play music loudly and don't care if I ask them to turn it down. They're good people, all around, I guess. I'd just never choose to live with them if a viable alternative presented itself.
The last and biggest part of my current depressed state is the situation with our WOW Guild, the Revolutionary Solids. I just bought the website and have it nearly set up and I'm ready for Val to start hosting it on his server. Our front page looks half decent, if I may say so myself, even if it's non-functioning. We have our forums, which is basically all I wanted. And, even more exciting, Dan just sprung for a dedicated Ventrilo server. So now, we have a good method of communication among guildmembers off of WOW (the forums for discussion and the main page for updates) and on WOW (the Ventrilo server). The bad thing, though, is that ever since the Guild Meeting and the exodus of half of the active guild due to something I said, no one has been online except Pavel, Sara, Yosuf and myself. Mal... I don't know what happened to him. He said he was playing some Star Wars game, and he came back, saying that he was back for good... but he said that more than a week ago, and I haven't seen him since. Vakal and Trevorly, two people everyone seemed to like a lot, just disappeared. They stopped logging on... Yosuf said that Vakal told him he'd be back starting last Monday, but he hasn't been on for more than 2 weeks. Ibiki decided to quit a while ago, and said that he'd come back recently... but I haven't seen him online. Pavel has a lot of newbie friends who he suggested get the game, and he's trying to teach them, but I doubt any of them will last; they don't seem like hardcore gamer-types and you kinda have to be to play an MMORPG and enjoy it. Otherwise they basically say to themselves "What, so there's no end? How do I win? I can't? Eh... I'm gonna go... do HW." As for Thaak, I can't get a good handle on him. He hasn't been online for a while, but that may be because he's got other stuff to do. I have a feeling, though, that the only reason he's in our guild - or even playing WOW for that matter - is because Sara is. I doubt he'll keep playing, though, simply because he was used to being in a huge guild in EQ that did lots of stuff and had huge events. From the looks of it, we're never going to be able to accomplish either of those...which will likely end in him hitting 60, then leaving for a bigger guild or quitting altogether.
So, yeah... the only people left are Cass and Ben. From what it sounds like, they're bored with PvE and were looking for excitement elsewhere. They tried the RP server first, and evidently didn't like it. It's likely that they just discovered that it's no different from a Normal server except that, instead of talking about drugs and how guys shouldn't play girl characters, they talk about how someone's name doesn't follow the rules, or how "it's OK to play a girl character, as long as you have cybersex with me... cuz it's what your character would do" in General Chat. So now they've made characters in the PVP server that Atalia plays on. Honestly, the notion doesn't seem like a bad one; it's one I've been considering for a while... and for that reason, I doubt they'll come back except for a few moments here and there to show they haven't forgotten us.
So... with all of this stuff we've got put into the guild, we no longer really have any guildmates.
I don't know what to do about that... we can't recruit any new people, since we're a relatively high-level guild, now (everyone is 46+) so everyone our level is already in a guild. And, of course, anyone we do recruit is going to be either a lowbie who will have trouble finding a group within the guild (the main reason people join guilds) or will be a high-level person who will leave shortly after seeing that we can't do raid, since we have less than 5 people who could even join a pick-up raid. So, basically, unless we start some huge process of finding lots of new (and good) players, all at once, our guild will stagnate.
One option, of course, is to disband and join another, larger, more active guild. That would likely help all of the high-levels in TRS get groups and such, but... personally, I don't really wanna do that. I really wanted to have a good guild put together, and I wanted to be one of its founders. I was so ready to put forth all of the effort necessary, too. But, I guess... it's just not gonna happen. And if I can't be a part of a guild I can call "my own" I don't really wanna be in it at all. *sighs*
I don't really wanna leave the server, either, because every day I play on Medivh is another day I've invested into the characters there... I probably have more playtime logged into that server than anyone - including Yosuf - in the guild. It's really tough to look at what's probably nearly a month of my life and say "Eh, I'll start over." I mean, I've worked on Scynthia so much to get her to the high-end content simply because everything before then has become boring. If I start over, I'll just have to go through another character's lifetime's worth of that same, boring crap.
It's like Diablo, which makes me really sad. Sure, once you hit 60 (beat Diablo) you could create another character (or go into Nightmare mode) but it's still the same game; you're just playing it over again. Which makes you question whether it's even worth it to hit 60 in the first place... if that's all there is, why pay a subscription to find that out, when you could just download video clips of someone else who's put all that effort into it? You're reaping the reward of what they've sown... and is it really that much of a loss?
This web thread makes me wonder if WOW is worth playing at all. Maybe I'm just succumbing to his views and letting them wash over me... but if I was so confident in WOW in the first place, would I be so easily swayed? I agree with him on his major point, though: there's no socialization in WOW. Sure I've made some friends through my course through Azeroth... and all of the good ones I've invited into the guild. And look who's left. None have stayed, so basically I've emerged at level 58 with the same friends I started with. I guess I should be thankful that I didn't lose them, but still... I've formed no meaningful relationship with any of the people in the guild, obviously, since they've all up and left. In UO I made really good friends with all three of the guilds I was in. The fact that I regretted leaving each and every one of them verifies that. I wouldn't mind going back to UO to try again... but I think the game itself is dead, and it's only the people playing it who are keeping it alive. For that reason, it'd be rather pointless to go back and play it, since I'd have to play through the dead game to get to where everyone else is.
Part of me knows that I'd likely enjoy going through the high-end content that's introduced every so often with a big guild, even if I made no friends in it... but basically that would mean I'd have to level a priest or respec Sourmelina to Restoration simply to get into a raid. All of the "fun" slots are taken already. And if I'm going to start over like that, I might as well switch servers. And if I'm switching servers, I might as well quit, because I can't imagine giving up on 3 characters I enjoy so much just because ...
I don't even know. I've lost my focus... but I think I got my point across. I'm just basically saying that WOW is looking more and more like Diablo II. While Diablo II is a great game, I'm never going to play it again... it's too boring and repetitious. And if WOW ever gets to be like that, well, then there's no point in me paying the subscription when I could just as easily play Diablo II for free.
Yeah... I'm done here. I just have to figure out what to do for the rest of the night, since I'm too depressed to play WOW. Basically I can't stand to play WOW, now, because there's nothing to do but get groups for instances. As much as I enjoy them, I'm sick of having 4 really good groupers, then having to find a 5th, and then have the 5th turn out to be responsible for wipe after wipe after wipe. And, of course, the only real reason to do instances is for items and XP... and that climb to 60 just lost its luster, since there's nothing I'll be able to do at 60 except do the same instances I've been doing 'till 60. As a rogue, there's just ... no reason to hit 60. And, same with a Druid... unless I'm Restoration specced, I'll never get into a group to do any of the exciting instances. And my mage, while fun to play, is only level 24. I'm not ready to commit that much time into my mage when there's no guarantee of a reward at the end.
I suppose I could start up a character on Tichondrius to play with Cass, Ben, and Atalia, and maybe we could just move TRS there... but I don't know that they'd be interested in that. *sighs* Not to mention that'd be basically the same as giving up on Medivh, if not TRS altogether. And, of course, I'd have to play Alliance to play with them, since Atalia is a 60 NE Druid, she's not moving to Horde. Thus Cass is going to play Alliance. Thus Ben will play Alliance. Thus, to play with them, I'd have to play Alliance. That's not really something I look forward to. At least that's one thing WOW has been good at doing. Even on another server, I'm not interested in playing Alliance simply because I see them as wrong, flawed, and altogether evil.
I suppose maybe I should start trying to get over that =\.
*sighs*
I want Sara.