Fic: Part Eighteen (Of Harry and Cedric)
Title: Of Harry and Cedric, or The Past is not Prologue
Rating: er...PG-13
Pairings: Harry/Cedric
Warnings: AU from GoF onward, boys kissing, occasional bouts of magical violence, OCs
Summary: Harry and Cedric. A flashback of sorts
Hurrah to my beta rotaryphones for such an awesomely quick return time.
Links to previous parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen
1.
"What was your question, Harry?"
Cedric darted a glance over his shoulder, looking nervous.
In the pit of his stomach, Harry began to realize that this hadn't been such a good idea after all. The corridor outside the prefects' bathroom was empty, but it was just off the concourse that led to the astronomy tower, which was a notoriously popular destination.
"I recognized your handwriting on the note the house elf gave me, the one about meeting me," Cedric continued. "Er...Dobby, is it? He's quite fond of you."
Harry blinked. "I - yes. How - how do you know that?"
Cedric ducked his head, running a nervous hand through his hair.
"Sometimes I go down to the kitchens after Quidditch practice to get snacks for the team. You know, a bit of a reward for hard work done. And Dobby always talks about how you freed him and arranged for a paying job."
Harry's cheeks burned. Cedric must have thought he was an utter nutter.
"Well, I --"
Cedric darted another glance over his shoulder. "Come on - we should go in before someone sees us."
Harry frowned. "Is something wrong?"
"You're not a prefect. McGonagall'd have my badge for this." Cedric murmured the password, and the door swung open. Once they were inside, Cedric set down his book bag and sat down on the cold stone floor. "You wanted to discuss something. At least, that's what I inferred from the note. Was I wrong?"
"No!" Harry blurted out. "It's just - from your hint. I didn't really understand, and I didn't want to get into trouble for, you know, getting too much help." He eased himself down onto the cool flagstone opposite Cedric and waited for an answer.
"I'm sorry, it's just - I could never find a good time to speak to you alone, and then Cho was impatient. You gave me a very straightforward hint, and I'm sorry I was such a prat about returning the favor." Cedric chuckled nervously, and Harry found himself staring at Cedric's mouth.
Cedric was too attractive for his own good.
"Well, the fact of the matter is, you have to take your egg and open it underwater. I don't know how you'd manage with just the dorm showers at your disposal, and I don't think you'd want a drubbing in the Black Lake, so you should try it in the bath. Here."
Harry looked at the large, empty bath, then back at Cedric.
Cedric nodded encouragingly. "Yeah. Sometime, when you have a chance to be alone, come for a bath. It's really relaxing after Quidditch practice anyway." Then he sighed. "Not that we have Quidditch this year."
Quidditch. Cedric had won their last game against each other and then had gallantly offered a rematch. Harry had wanted to smash his face in then. Now his face inspired an entirely different reaction. Harry blushed and tore his gaze away from Cedric's mouth. He couldn't keep staring like that.
Cedric stood up quickly. "At any rate, I should...let you to it, then. I'll just go study. And you - you enjoy your bath."
Harry was alarmed. Cedric was going to leave him alone? In the prefects' bath? What if another prefect came in?
"Aren't you going to stay?" Harry blurted out, and he blushed to the roots of his hair.
Cedric paused, surprised, and then said, "Not to worry - no one else can get in until you leave."
"Oh." Harry was glad Cedric was as nice as everyone said he was and hadn't made fun of him.
Cedric paused at the door. "If you like, when you're done, we can talk again."
Harry felt his entire face light up. "Yeah - that'd be great."
"All right. I suppose you'll know how to find me." Cedric smiled and then slipped out the door.
* * *
2.
"I didn't put my name in the cup, you know."
Cedric blinked, surprised by the sudden conversation, but Harry merely fell into step beside him, intent on supper at the Great Hall. Cedric smiled down at him. Something tugged in his chest when Harry offered a small, cautious smile in return.
"I know," he said.
Harry's brow furrowed.
Because you're a good person, Cedric thought. He didn't say it aloud. "You wouldn't have told me about the dragons if you had."
Harry blinked, as if surprised by the decency of his own action. "It was the right thing to do was all. Like you asking the others not to wear Malfoy's stupid badges." And then he smiled up at Cedric, brighter this time. "Thanks for that, by the way. Malfoy's a bit of a pillock."
Cedric lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "No problem." He waved and then headed to the Hufflepuff table where Simon and Ben were waiting. He wasn't sure why Harry had decided to speak to him so suddenly, but he realized that he wouldn't mind if it happened again.
* * *
3.
The room was set with three double desks, some comfortable chairs, a sofa, and a fireplace, and it was decorated in understated Hufflepuff colors.
Harry blinked. Surely the Hufflepuff common room wasn't so small.
As if sensing Harry's puzzlement, Cedric said, "This is the Hufflepuff prefects' lounge."
"Oh." Harry stood awkwardly just over the threshold. "And thanks again for the hint."
"No need. You did help me first." Cedric set down his book bag and perched on the edge of the nearest desk.
Drat. Now they had to talk.
"The thing I'd miss most is my wand," Harry blurted out. Immediately, he turned red.
Cedric didn't seem to think the comment was stupid, and his expression turned thoughtful. "We couldn't really compete without our wands, though."
Harry nodded, feeling even more stupid.
"I see your point, however. A wizard is more than just his magic - he's a person. Perhaps we're to be tested on our mettle. Without wands." Cedric's words were measured, as if he were taking Harry's suggestion seriously. "Assuming they don't take our wands, what else do we treasure?"
"I...Ron and Hermione," Harry said. "Every summer when I go --" he wouldn't call that place home -- "away I miss Hogwarts and my friends. Since they can't put the entire castle in the Black Lake, well, they could put people down there, couldn't they?"
"That sounds a bit dangerous, leaving people with the merfolk." Cedric tapped his chin, musing. "Do people count as treasures? I mean, my Aunt Laurel used to call me 'Little Treasure,' but --" He cut himself off, blushing furiously.
Harry hid a snicker behind one hand.
"Don't tell anyone, please," Cedric said. "I'd never live it down."
Harry nodded. "All right. So..." He wracked his brain for something else to say, something that wasn't moronic or embarrassing. "I'd miss my broom. I mean, it is a Firebolt."
Cedric laughed. "Spoken like a true Quidditch player."
* * *
4.
"Swotting up again, Little Treasure?"
Cedric lifted his head sharply, ready with a quick remark, but then he saw Harry standing beside his carrel and he relaxed.
"How can you be inside on a day like this?" Harry asked.
"I have NEWTS to worry about," Cedric said. It was the truth, but even his roommates had started making comments about how he studied too much. Cedric glanced around at the other students packed into the library and realized that he was sitting in the same carrel as yesterday, and the day before that. Mild horror curled through him. He had a regular spot.
"Your NEWTS are a year away." Harry glanced over his shoulder. "Looks like Hermione has finally bossed Ron into studying. Knew she'd win eventually. You, on the other hand, need to get some sunlight."
Cedric glanced at his pocket watch. He'd been hunched over his books for nearly three hours. "Oh, all right. Just for half an hour or something."
Harry broke into a grin, and Cedric felt his heart thump oddly in his chest.
This was just great - he was acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. He was a Triwizard Champion, a prefect, captain of the Quidditch team. He wasn't supposed to feel all fluttery whenever Harry smiled, even if Harry's green eyes were bright and the curve of his lips was sweet --
Cedric swept all his books into his bag and hurried out of the library. He followed Harry through a maze of corridors - Harry knew them better than Cedric, who was a prefect with night patrol duties - to the garden behind Professor Sprout's greenhouses.
As soon as they were outside, Harry tilted his head back and closed his eyes, basking in the sun.
"See, Little Treasure? Aren't you glad you came with me?"
"Only my Aunt Laurel gets to call me that, you know," Cedric said.
Harry opened his eyes and flashed Cedric a saucy grin. "Oh really?"
"Yes, really."
"What's she like, your Aunt Laurel?"
Cedric shuddered slightly at the memory. Then he affected a high-pitched, creaky woman's voice.
"Cedric, my little treasure, look how much you've grown! I remember when you were knee-high to a kneazle. With a pretty face like yours, Amos should have no trouble buying you a wife."
Harry fell back against a tree, clutching his ribs he was laughing so hard.
Cedric dropped the mimicry and joined in, laughing as well.
"Does she really say that? 'Buy you a wife'?" Harry asked once he could speak again.
Cedric nodded. "Yes. Aunt Laurel's very old and rather out-of-touch with the times." Then he swiped a hand over his face and said, "I rather despise it when people call me pretty."
"But you are good-looking," Harry said.
"If you say so. It just frustrates me that people think I'm good-looking and nothing more." Cedric reached up and loosened his tie. Then he glanced at Harry and smiled. "At least you don't call me Pretty-boy Diggory. Blokes aren't meant to be pretty."
"Hermione says girls can be handsome, so it stands to reason blokes can be pretty," Harry offered.
Something in Cedric's chest warmed at Harry's attempts to be comforting.
"Hermione is very wise. Perhaps, every now and again, we should try to see the world as she does."
"Yeah, Hermione's absolutely brilliant. Ron and I would be lost without her."
"I'm glad you have her, then," Cedric said.
Harry flashed another of those heart-stopping smiles. "Now I have you as well, yeah? I didn't realize you were so funny."
Cedric clutched his heart melodramatically. "O woe is me, the pretty swot - no one realized I might have a sense of humor." The antic drew a laugh out of Harry.
"I've realized it," Harry said. "And I rather like the thought of keeping it my secret."
Cedric bowed deeply. "As you wish, good master, I will be here to make you laugh whenever you so choose."
Harry drew himself to his full height, lifting his chin imperiously. "That's right. Make me laugh, Pretty Swot."
"All right! Stop me if you've heard this one..."
* * *
5.
Harry lolled in the grass, nibbling on a pumpkin pasty and soaking what he could of the weak winter sun.
"I could get used to this, knocking about with the most handsome boy in school and getting me some charmed winter warmth."
Cedric groaned. "Don't start that nonsense again. I can barely stand it when Cho says it, even though I know she's only joking."
A few weeks ago, Harry would have flinched at any mention of Cho, remembering how embarrassed he'd been when she turned him down before the Yule Ball, but now it didn't bother him nearly as much as he thought it would have.
"Well, you are the most handsome boy at school, and I'm the - craziest boy at school. That's right - my scar prickles whenever evil people look at me, I hear basilisks in the walls, and…"
"And you can't tell me about your adventure third year," Cedric said. "I understand."
He smiled, and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He scolded himself for acting like a stupid teenage girl.
Harry opened his mouth to apologize for keeping secrets, but Cedric beat him to it.
"How about we stop being the most handsome boy at school at the craziest boy at school and we just be friends?"
Harry tilted his head to peer at the boy beside him. "Really?"
"Really." Cedric had his arms folded behind his head and was sprawled out in the grass, gazing up at the sky. "When it's just us, we can forget the tournament. We're friends."
"Will your dorm mates like that?"
"Not their choice to make, is it?" Cedric turned and smiled at Harry again, and Harry wondered what it was about him - plain, ordinary Harry - that made Cedric smile. "So do you agree? Friends?"
Harry decided he didn't care why Cedric smiled as long as Cedric would smile for him more often. "Friends."
* * *
6.
Cedric passed Harry in the corridor on his way to transfiguration. When Harry didn’t notice him, he nudged Harry's shoulder with his.
Harry's head came up, and he looked furious, ready to yell at who he probably thought was Malfoy, but Cedric caught his gaze and smiled.
"Hello, friend," he murmured.
He felt a rush of triumph when Harry smiled back and said,
"And hello to you, friend."
This was victory; Harry cared about him, considered him a friend, was happy that Cedric liked him. It was perfect, it was connection, the knowledge that they existed somewhere outside of the madness that was Hogwarts and the Tournament where they were friends. In their quiet sphere of friendship, it was just the two of them. For a moment, Cedric couldn't breathe.
Then Simon was tugging on Cedric's wrist, eager to point out his newest love interest, and Ron was dragging Harry away. The moment was broken, but it stayed with Cedric for the rest of the day.
* * *
7.
"I thought you were going to drown."
The soft voice brought Harry to a halt. Dean and Seamus didn't notice and kept on walking, intent on supper at the Great Hall.
Harry turned.
Cedric stood in an alcove, half-shadowed between two suits of armor. Harry hadn't talked to him since the Second Task. Cedric hadn't even looked at him since then either, though at the time Harry had assumed that Cedric had just been worried about Cho. Harry had been worried about Ron and Gabrielle, after all. But after two weeks, during which Harry realized that Cedric was deliberately avoiding him, this sudden burst of conversation - without apology - was galling.
"I knew - or foolishly assumed - that Cho and the others wouldn't drown, but you were down there for so long."
Cedric's grey eyes were dark as storm clouds, and Harry couldn't tell if he was angry or afraid. Possibly both. Harry knew that tight set to Cedric's jaw; Cedric ground his teeth to avoid yelling whenever he was particularly angry. The utter paleness of Cedric's face, however, spoke of fear. The last time he'd looked that pale, he'd been standing on the edge of the Black Lake, waiting for the Second Task to begin.
Cedric said, "You're brave and stupid in your nobility. What the hell were you thinking?"
Harry recoiled, stung by the sharp words.
Cedric stepped forward. He lifted a hand, reaching toward Harry.
Harry ducked away from the touch. "I was only doing what was right," he snapped.
Cedric closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I know." He opened his eyes and met Harry's gaze, and Harry was unsettled by the unreadable emotion he saw there. "I wish I could do the same." Then he dodged around Harry and walked away quickly, head bowed.
* * *
8.
"I thought we were friends."
Cedric lifted his head but didn't turn. He knew that voice.
"I --"
"What the bloody hell was that, before supper?" Harry stepped into the tower and let the door swing shut behind him. He crossed the small stone room and planted himself firmly beside the windowsill where Cedric huddled, small and pathetic.
"I'm sorry, Harry," Cedric said. They were weak words, but he didn't know what else to say, couldn't begin to explain the panic he'd felt when Harry hadn't come up for air after the hour mark, the pain that had gripped him when he realized that Harry might have been dead.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Cedric turned to obey, and his chest tightened at the brilliant fire in Harry's green eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips were parted, and Cedric had to look away before he did something stupid.
Harry reached out and shook Cedric's shoulder roughly. "I trusted you. I listened to you and believed in you, believed that you were as good as everyone said - and more. But look at you. You can't even look at me. What happened to being friends, to forgetting the tournament?"
Cedric shook his head, clasping his arms tightly around his knees to stop his hands from shaking.
"Cedric --"
He leapt to his feet, startling Harry and sending him back a few steps.
"I can't do this anymore, all right?" Cedric dragged a hand through his hair. "I was wrong - we can't be friends."
"Ron was right. You're just hacked because I managed to stay tied with you." The venom in Harry's voice was heart-rending.
"Ron's wrong," Cedric said.
"Oh? Then what's the real problem?"
Cedric caught Harry by the wrist and dragged him in close.
"It's this."
He lowered his head and covered Harry's mouth with his for a slow, tentative kiss, just a prolonged press of lips until one of them stopped.
Harry jerked away, the back of his hand pressed to his mouth, green eyes wide with horror.
For a moment Cedric couldn't breathe. Then he said, "I'm sorry," and fled.
* * *
9.
Harry found Cedric three days later, hiding in the stacks in the library and looking about as miserable a Harry felt. Ron and Hermione were fed up with the way he'd been moping about the Gryffindor common room and banished him from their presence. How could he explain that he'd lost one of his best friends because said best friend fancied him? How could they understand what it felt like to be starved of Cedric's voice and smile?
Harry slid up to Cedric, trying to be as quiet as possible so Madame Pince wouldn't throw them out.
Cedric jumped when Harry tapped his shoulder, but didn’t look up.
"Simon," he began tiredly.
"Not Simon," Harry said.
Cedric lifted his head. Dark shadows ringed his eyes, and he looked exhausted. He also looked afraid, more afraid than when he'd been about to face a dragon. "Harry, I --"
"Was that why you don't want to be friends anymore? Because you fancy me?"
Cedric's silence and averted gaze was answer enough, but Harry had to hear him say it. He wanted to know that, if he decided to accept what Cedric had offered, there would be no more hesitation, no more fear. If Cedric could say it out loud, it was real.
"Please, don't do this," Cedric whispered. "I'm sorry - I'd give anything to be friends again if it meant - if it meant you would stop hating me."
Harry placed a hand on Cedric's elbow.
The other boy started at the contact, and he chanced to meet Harry's gaze.
"Who said I hated you?" Harry asked.
Cedric reached up to drag a hand through his hair in frustration, but Harry caught his wrist, stilling him.
"How could you not hate me?" And this time Cedric met Harry's gaze squarely, abject misery shining out of his grey eyes. "I kissed you. And I'm a boy."
"Of course you're a boy," Harry said, and he smiled slightly. "You're Cedric. And I don't hate you. I still want us to be friends."
Cedric tried to tug his hand free. "You want to be friends with a freak?"
Harry smiled. "I'm the one who hears snakes in the walls."
"It's not the same," Cedric muttered.
"Who said it has to be?"
Cedric's brow furrowed. "I didn't say it had to be, I just meant --" He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. Emotional turmoil robbed him of his eloquence.
Cedric wasn't looking at him, was staring at his shoes like a nervous first year, and Harry realized it was his turn. Cedric had said the words Harry needed to hear, and now it was Harry's turn to take a step forward. So he leaned up his toes and planted a kiss on Cedric's mouth. When he drew back slightly, Cedric looked absolutely petrified.
Harry kissed him again.
This time, Cedric kissed back, if cautiously.
Then he pulled away.
"Harry, are you absolutely sure you know what you're --"
Harry dragged him in for another kiss. "I don't know a thing. I was hoping you'd learn it with me." He offered another smile, and wonder crossed Cedric's face, wonder and awe, as if kissing Harry was like having Christmas come in March.
"So...what, exactly, is an assignation?"
* * *
10.
Cedric buried his face in Harry's neck and tried to ignore the fact that he was a prefect out past curfew on a night he wasn't on patrol, and that he was keeping another student out past curfew as well.
But when Harry made those delicious little noises and writhed in his arms it wasn't easy to think.
Harry laughed softly, stroking Cedric's hair. "We should've found an empty classroom for this."
"I know." Cedric groaned when Harry leaned up and nibbled at that spot right behind his jaw. "It's just - I don't think I could really leave right now --"
Harry smiled beneath Cedric's kiss and said, "Good. It means I've learned something." He'd been driving Cedric mad with little brushes of his fingertips on Cedric's bare skin where Harry dared to delve beneath the hem of his uniform shirt, and now he was sliding his hand higher and higher up Cedric's back, driving him even madder with mere touch.
Cedric captured Harry's mouth in a long, deep kiss. When they came up for air, he said, "Practice makes perfect, after all."
Harry languidly traced the line of Cedric's spine. "And we're diligent at practice, aren't we?"
"We are," Cedric said, and leaned in to kiss Harry again. He was hot all over, burning, and the ache of arousal between his thighs wasn't helping. He knew he'd have to stop soon if he didn't want to push things too far, but then Harry was sliding a hand up his chest, and when his fingertips brushed a nipple Cedric felt another surge of arousal.
Harry must have felt it too, for he began to stroke the oversensitive nub of flesh, wringing soft moans and gasps from Cedric's lips.
"Like that?" he whispered. "I think I've learned something new."
Cedric managed a wordless sound of approval before he felt Harry's other hand begin the agonizingly slow journey downward. In moments, Cedric would be beyond rational thought. He caught Harry's wrist, and his entire body screamed at him for it, but he had to.
"Harry - don't. You - I can't - not if you're not ready," he managed.
The lust that clouded Harry's eyes began to dissipate. "What?"
Cedric bit his lip to keep from screaming in frustration. He took a few ragged breaths before he could speak again. "It's just - if you do that, I don't know how much further I can go before - "
Harry deliberately tugged his hand lower, but Cedric didn't relent.
"Harry, think, please." Cedric wasn't sure why he said that, as he could barely do so himself.
"Don't you want me?"
The plaintive note in Harry's voice almost broke Cedric's heart, and he gathered Harry into a tight embrace, burying his face in Harry's hair.
"I do want you," he whispered. "I want you more than you can imagine. But I love you, and I don't want to push you or make you do anything stupid, and..."
"And what?" Harry asked.
"And I'd want your first time to be special, not up against the wall in the Charms corridor." Cedric was glad Harry couldn't see his face, because he was blushing hard for his schoolgirl declaration.
Harry relaxed in his arms, and they stood there, breathing together until their heart rates were back to normal.
Cedric lowered his head for another kiss, this one slow and gentle without the urgency of desire behind it. Harry reached up, twining his hands in Cedric's hair to tug him closer, deepen the kiss.
Cedric pulled back gently and said, "It's far past curfew."
"But you're a prefect --"
Cedric placed a finger against Harry's lips. "A prefect who loves you and doesn't want to see you in detention."
Harry's eyes fluttered closed.
"I do love you," Cedric whispered, and when his heart rate went up this time, it was because his heart was soaring. He leaned in and brushed his lips against Harry's once, twice.
Harry opened his eyes and smiled. Cedric was robbed of speech.
Then Harry darted in for another kiss, startling Cedric out of his momentary daze. Harry stepped back, and Cedric pushed away from the wall, pausing mid-motion to stretch.
Harry blushed and smiled.
"Now bed - go," Cedric whispered. He started down the corridor toward the Hufflepuff dormitories, then paused and waved before continuing on.
He made it into the Sixth Year boys' dorm without waking Simon and Ben, so he crawled into his bed and drew the drapes shut before flinging himself down on the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. After a few moments he sat up and unlaced his shoes, kicked them off and reached through the drapes to place them on the chest at the foot of the bed. He squirmed out of the rest of his uniform and then sat there in the dark, wondering if it would really be worth the effort to change into his pajamas and then sneak down to the loo to brush his teeth. Cedric reached up and pressed his fingers lightly to his lips, remembering the sensation of Harry's kisses, and he smiled goofily. Then he lay down and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.
* * *
11.
Harry glanced over to where Cedric was making a list of all the defensive and offensive spells he thought would be useful in the maze. Harry wouldn't be able to learn all of them, but he'd be able to learn important ones. Cedric would teach him.
Unless Harry's next words ruined it all.
"Cedric."
Cedric glanced up. He looked adorably bookworm-ish, with a smudge of ink across his nose. "Yes?"
"Neville knows."
Cedric's gaze darkened, and he set down his quill. "What? How?"
"One night in the corridor - after you left, I ran into him." Harry stared down at his hands, trying not to fidget. "He promised he wouldn't tell. He - he actually seems to understand, just a bit." Harry lifted his gaze and waited for the verdict.
Cedric rested his chin in his hand, staring out the window of the tower where they'd first kissed. After a few long moments of silence, he said,
"Neville Longbottom. Do you trust him?"
Harry thought of Neville standing up to him, Ron, and Hermione in their first year and taking a full body bind from Hermione without so much as a flinch. He nodded. "Yes, I do."
Cedric sighed. "Then I trust you. We'll just have to be more careful, won't we?"
Harry ducked his head. "Cedric, I'm sorry --"
Cedric placed a finger under his chin and lifted his head so their gazes met. "I said 'we', didn't I? Both of us will be more careful from now on. Sometimes these things happen."
Harry nodded, and Cedric turned the gesture into a caress, tracing the line of Harry's lips.
"In light of being more careful, here - come learn this muffling charm. It muffles your footsteps so no one can hear you walk."
Harry leaned in, resting his head on Cedric's shoulder, and watched him demonstrate the wand motion.
Cedric was such an excellent wizard.
* * *
12.
Harry looked tense, arms crossed over his chest, head bowed. Over Harry's shoulder, the beautiful Fleur looked ready to sick up on her headmistress's shoes. Krum looked equally grim, but then he was a professional Quidditch player and probably used to the pressure.
Cedric looked at his father and smiled tightly.
Father, I wish I could tell you about the boy I love.
Beyond Cedric's father, Moody was giving Harry a last-minute pep talk.
Then Bagman called them together, and they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, awaiting their fate. Cedric didn't really hear everything Bagman said, just nodded and smiled and tried to look brave, and then the crowds were roaring and the champions were being jostled apart.
Before Cedric's father dragged him all the way to the starting point, Cedric managed to catch Harry's eye.
"Good luck," he said.
"Good luck to you too," Harry whispered back, smiled, and then went to stand beside Moody.
Cedric faced the entrance to the maze and wondered how he would survive.
Nineteen
Rating: er...PG-13
Pairings: Harry/Cedric
Warnings: AU from GoF onward, boys kissing, occasional bouts of magical violence, OCs
Summary: Harry and Cedric. A flashback of sorts
Hurrah to my beta rotaryphones for such an awesomely quick return time.
Links to previous parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen
1.
"What was your question, Harry?"
Cedric darted a glance over his shoulder, looking nervous.
In the pit of his stomach, Harry began to realize that this hadn't been such a good idea after all. The corridor outside the prefects' bathroom was empty, but it was just off the concourse that led to the astronomy tower, which was a notoriously popular destination.
"I recognized your handwriting on the note the house elf gave me, the one about meeting me," Cedric continued. "Er...Dobby, is it? He's quite fond of you."
Harry blinked. "I - yes. How - how do you know that?"
Cedric ducked his head, running a nervous hand through his hair.
"Sometimes I go down to the kitchens after Quidditch practice to get snacks for the team. You know, a bit of a reward for hard work done. And Dobby always talks about how you freed him and arranged for a paying job."
Harry's cheeks burned. Cedric must have thought he was an utter nutter.
"Well, I --"
Cedric darted another glance over his shoulder. "Come on - we should go in before someone sees us."
Harry frowned. "Is something wrong?"
"You're not a prefect. McGonagall'd have my badge for this." Cedric murmured the password, and the door swung open. Once they were inside, Cedric set down his book bag and sat down on the cold stone floor. "You wanted to discuss something. At least, that's what I inferred from the note. Was I wrong?"
"No!" Harry blurted out. "It's just - from your hint. I didn't really understand, and I didn't want to get into trouble for, you know, getting too much help." He eased himself down onto the cool flagstone opposite Cedric and waited for an answer.
"I'm sorry, it's just - I could never find a good time to speak to you alone, and then Cho was impatient. You gave me a very straightforward hint, and I'm sorry I was such a prat about returning the favor." Cedric chuckled nervously, and Harry found himself staring at Cedric's mouth.
Cedric was too attractive for his own good.
"Well, the fact of the matter is, you have to take your egg and open it underwater. I don't know how you'd manage with just the dorm showers at your disposal, and I don't think you'd want a drubbing in the Black Lake, so you should try it in the bath. Here."
Harry looked at the large, empty bath, then back at Cedric.
Cedric nodded encouragingly. "Yeah. Sometime, when you have a chance to be alone, come for a bath. It's really relaxing after Quidditch practice anyway." Then he sighed. "Not that we have Quidditch this year."
Quidditch. Cedric had won their last game against each other and then had gallantly offered a rematch. Harry had wanted to smash his face in then. Now his face inspired an entirely different reaction. Harry blushed and tore his gaze away from Cedric's mouth. He couldn't keep staring like that.
Cedric stood up quickly. "At any rate, I should...let you to it, then. I'll just go study. And you - you enjoy your bath."
Harry was alarmed. Cedric was going to leave him alone? In the prefects' bath? What if another prefect came in?
"Aren't you going to stay?" Harry blurted out, and he blushed to the roots of his hair.
Cedric paused, surprised, and then said, "Not to worry - no one else can get in until you leave."
"Oh." Harry was glad Cedric was as nice as everyone said he was and hadn't made fun of him.
Cedric paused at the door. "If you like, when you're done, we can talk again."
Harry felt his entire face light up. "Yeah - that'd be great."
"All right. I suppose you'll know how to find me." Cedric smiled and then slipped out the door.
* * *
2.
"I didn't put my name in the cup, you know."
Cedric blinked, surprised by the sudden conversation, but Harry merely fell into step beside him, intent on supper at the Great Hall. Cedric smiled down at him. Something tugged in his chest when Harry offered a small, cautious smile in return.
"I know," he said.
Harry's brow furrowed.
Because you're a good person, Cedric thought. He didn't say it aloud. "You wouldn't have told me about the dragons if you had."
Harry blinked, as if surprised by the decency of his own action. "It was the right thing to do was all. Like you asking the others not to wear Malfoy's stupid badges." And then he smiled up at Cedric, brighter this time. "Thanks for that, by the way. Malfoy's a bit of a pillock."
Cedric lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "No problem." He waved and then headed to the Hufflepuff table where Simon and Ben were waiting. He wasn't sure why Harry had decided to speak to him so suddenly, but he realized that he wouldn't mind if it happened again.
* * *
3.
The room was set with three double desks, some comfortable chairs, a sofa, and a fireplace, and it was decorated in understated Hufflepuff colors.
Harry blinked. Surely the Hufflepuff common room wasn't so small.
As if sensing Harry's puzzlement, Cedric said, "This is the Hufflepuff prefects' lounge."
"Oh." Harry stood awkwardly just over the threshold. "And thanks again for the hint."
"No need. You did help me first." Cedric set down his book bag and perched on the edge of the nearest desk.
Drat. Now they had to talk.
"The thing I'd miss most is my wand," Harry blurted out. Immediately, he turned red.
Cedric didn't seem to think the comment was stupid, and his expression turned thoughtful. "We couldn't really compete without our wands, though."
Harry nodded, feeling even more stupid.
"I see your point, however. A wizard is more than just his magic - he's a person. Perhaps we're to be tested on our mettle. Without wands." Cedric's words were measured, as if he were taking Harry's suggestion seriously. "Assuming they don't take our wands, what else do we treasure?"
"I...Ron and Hermione," Harry said. "Every summer when I go --" he wouldn't call that place home -- "away I miss Hogwarts and my friends. Since they can't put the entire castle in the Black Lake, well, they could put people down there, couldn't they?"
"That sounds a bit dangerous, leaving people with the merfolk." Cedric tapped his chin, musing. "Do people count as treasures? I mean, my Aunt Laurel used to call me 'Little Treasure,' but --" He cut himself off, blushing furiously.
Harry hid a snicker behind one hand.
"Don't tell anyone, please," Cedric said. "I'd never live it down."
Harry nodded. "All right. So..." He wracked his brain for something else to say, something that wasn't moronic or embarrassing. "I'd miss my broom. I mean, it is a Firebolt."
Cedric laughed. "Spoken like a true Quidditch player."
* * *
4.
"Swotting up again, Little Treasure?"
Cedric lifted his head sharply, ready with a quick remark, but then he saw Harry standing beside his carrel and he relaxed.
"How can you be inside on a day like this?" Harry asked.
"I have NEWTS to worry about," Cedric said. It was the truth, but even his roommates had started making comments about how he studied too much. Cedric glanced around at the other students packed into the library and realized that he was sitting in the same carrel as yesterday, and the day before that. Mild horror curled through him. He had a regular spot.
"Your NEWTS are a year away." Harry glanced over his shoulder. "Looks like Hermione has finally bossed Ron into studying. Knew she'd win eventually. You, on the other hand, need to get some sunlight."
Cedric glanced at his pocket watch. He'd been hunched over his books for nearly three hours. "Oh, all right. Just for half an hour or something."
Harry broke into a grin, and Cedric felt his heart thump oddly in his chest.
This was just great - he was acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. He was a Triwizard Champion, a prefect, captain of the Quidditch team. He wasn't supposed to feel all fluttery whenever Harry smiled, even if Harry's green eyes were bright and the curve of his lips was sweet --
Cedric swept all his books into his bag and hurried out of the library. He followed Harry through a maze of corridors - Harry knew them better than Cedric, who was a prefect with night patrol duties - to the garden behind Professor Sprout's greenhouses.
As soon as they were outside, Harry tilted his head back and closed his eyes, basking in the sun.
"See, Little Treasure? Aren't you glad you came with me?"
"Only my Aunt Laurel gets to call me that, you know," Cedric said.
Harry opened his eyes and flashed Cedric a saucy grin. "Oh really?"
"Yes, really."
"What's she like, your Aunt Laurel?"
Cedric shuddered slightly at the memory. Then he affected a high-pitched, creaky woman's voice.
"Cedric, my little treasure, look how much you've grown! I remember when you were knee-high to a kneazle. With a pretty face like yours, Amos should have no trouble buying you a wife."
Harry fell back against a tree, clutching his ribs he was laughing so hard.
Cedric dropped the mimicry and joined in, laughing as well.
"Does she really say that? 'Buy you a wife'?" Harry asked once he could speak again.
Cedric nodded. "Yes. Aunt Laurel's very old and rather out-of-touch with the times." Then he swiped a hand over his face and said, "I rather despise it when people call me pretty."
"But you are good-looking," Harry said.
"If you say so. It just frustrates me that people think I'm good-looking and nothing more." Cedric reached up and loosened his tie. Then he glanced at Harry and smiled. "At least you don't call me Pretty-boy Diggory. Blokes aren't meant to be pretty."
"Hermione says girls can be handsome, so it stands to reason blokes can be pretty," Harry offered.
Something in Cedric's chest warmed at Harry's attempts to be comforting.
"Hermione is very wise. Perhaps, every now and again, we should try to see the world as she does."
"Yeah, Hermione's absolutely brilliant. Ron and I would be lost without her."
"I'm glad you have her, then," Cedric said.
Harry flashed another of those heart-stopping smiles. "Now I have you as well, yeah? I didn't realize you were so funny."
Cedric clutched his heart melodramatically. "O woe is me, the pretty swot - no one realized I might have a sense of humor." The antic drew a laugh out of Harry.
"I've realized it," Harry said. "And I rather like the thought of keeping it my secret."
Cedric bowed deeply. "As you wish, good master, I will be here to make you laugh whenever you so choose."
Harry drew himself to his full height, lifting his chin imperiously. "That's right. Make me laugh, Pretty Swot."
"All right! Stop me if you've heard this one..."
* * *
5.
Harry lolled in the grass, nibbling on a pumpkin pasty and soaking what he could of the weak winter sun.
"I could get used to this, knocking about with the most handsome boy in school and getting me some charmed winter warmth."
Cedric groaned. "Don't start that nonsense again. I can barely stand it when Cho says it, even though I know she's only joking."
A few weeks ago, Harry would have flinched at any mention of Cho, remembering how embarrassed he'd been when she turned him down before the Yule Ball, but now it didn't bother him nearly as much as he thought it would have.
"Well, you are the most handsome boy at school, and I'm the - craziest boy at school. That's right - my scar prickles whenever evil people look at me, I hear basilisks in the walls, and…"
"And you can't tell me about your adventure third year," Cedric said. "I understand."
He smiled, and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He scolded himself for acting like a stupid teenage girl.
Harry opened his mouth to apologize for keeping secrets, but Cedric beat him to it.
"How about we stop being the most handsome boy at school at the craziest boy at school and we just be friends?"
Harry tilted his head to peer at the boy beside him. "Really?"
"Really." Cedric had his arms folded behind his head and was sprawled out in the grass, gazing up at the sky. "When it's just us, we can forget the tournament. We're friends."
"Will your dorm mates like that?"
"Not their choice to make, is it?" Cedric turned and smiled at Harry again, and Harry wondered what it was about him - plain, ordinary Harry - that made Cedric smile. "So do you agree? Friends?"
Harry decided he didn't care why Cedric smiled as long as Cedric would smile for him more often. "Friends."
* * *
6.
Cedric passed Harry in the corridor on his way to transfiguration. When Harry didn’t notice him, he nudged Harry's shoulder with his.
Harry's head came up, and he looked furious, ready to yell at who he probably thought was Malfoy, but Cedric caught his gaze and smiled.
"Hello, friend," he murmured.
He felt a rush of triumph when Harry smiled back and said,
"And hello to you, friend."
This was victory; Harry cared about him, considered him a friend, was happy that Cedric liked him. It was perfect, it was connection, the knowledge that they existed somewhere outside of the madness that was Hogwarts and the Tournament where they were friends. In their quiet sphere of friendship, it was just the two of them. For a moment, Cedric couldn't breathe.
Then Simon was tugging on Cedric's wrist, eager to point out his newest love interest, and Ron was dragging Harry away. The moment was broken, but it stayed with Cedric for the rest of the day.
* * *
7.
"I thought you were going to drown."
The soft voice brought Harry to a halt. Dean and Seamus didn't notice and kept on walking, intent on supper at the Great Hall.
Harry turned.
Cedric stood in an alcove, half-shadowed between two suits of armor. Harry hadn't talked to him since the Second Task. Cedric hadn't even looked at him since then either, though at the time Harry had assumed that Cedric had just been worried about Cho. Harry had been worried about Ron and Gabrielle, after all. But after two weeks, during which Harry realized that Cedric was deliberately avoiding him, this sudden burst of conversation - without apology - was galling.
"I knew - or foolishly assumed - that Cho and the others wouldn't drown, but you were down there for so long."
Cedric's grey eyes were dark as storm clouds, and Harry couldn't tell if he was angry or afraid. Possibly both. Harry knew that tight set to Cedric's jaw; Cedric ground his teeth to avoid yelling whenever he was particularly angry. The utter paleness of Cedric's face, however, spoke of fear. The last time he'd looked that pale, he'd been standing on the edge of the Black Lake, waiting for the Second Task to begin.
Cedric said, "You're brave and stupid in your nobility. What the hell were you thinking?"
Harry recoiled, stung by the sharp words.
Cedric stepped forward. He lifted a hand, reaching toward Harry.
Harry ducked away from the touch. "I was only doing what was right," he snapped.
Cedric closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I know." He opened his eyes and met Harry's gaze, and Harry was unsettled by the unreadable emotion he saw there. "I wish I could do the same." Then he dodged around Harry and walked away quickly, head bowed.
* * *
8.
"I thought we were friends."
Cedric lifted his head but didn't turn. He knew that voice.
"I --"
"What the bloody hell was that, before supper?" Harry stepped into the tower and let the door swing shut behind him. He crossed the small stone room and planted himself firmly beside the windowsill where Cedric huddled, small and pathetic.
"I'm sorry, Harry," Cedric said. They were weak words, but he didn't know what else to say, couldn't begin to explain the panic he'd felt when Harry hadn't come up for air after the hour mark, the pain that had gripped him when he realized that Harry might have been dead.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Cedric turned to obey, and his chest tightened at the brilliant fire in Harry's green eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips were parted, and Cedric had to look away before he did something stupid.
Harry reached out and shook Cedric's shoulder roughly. "I trusted you. I listened to you and believed in you, believed that you were as good as everyone said - and more. But look at you. You can't even look at me. What happened to being friends, to forgetting the tournament?"
Cedric shook his head, clasping his arms tightly around his knees to stop his hands from shaking.
"Cedric --"
He leapt to his feet, startling Harry and sending him back a few steps.
"I can't do this anymore, all right?" Cedric dragged a hand through his hair. "I was wrong - we can't be friends."
"Ron was right. You're just hacked because I managed to stay tied with you." The venom in Harry's voice was heart-rending.
"Ron's wrong," Cedric said.
"Oh? Then what's the real problem?"
Cedric caught Harry by the wrist and dragged him in close.
"It's this."
He lowered his head and covered Harry's mouth with his for a slow, tentative kiss, just a prolonged press of lips until one of them stopped.
Harry jerked away, the back of his hand pressed to his mouth, green eyes wide with horror.
For a moment Cedric couldn't breathe. Then he said, "I'm sorry," and fled.
* * *
9.
Harry found Cedric three days later, hiding in the stacks in the library and looking about as miserable a Harry felt. Ron and Hermione were fed up with the way he'd been moping about the Gryffindor common room and banished him from their presence. How could he explain that he'd lost one of his best friends because said best friend fancied him? How could they understand what it felt like to be starved of Cedric's voice and smile?
Harry slid up to Cedric, trying to be as quiet as possible so Madame Pince wouldn't throw them out.
Cedric jumped when Harry tapped his shoulder, but didn’t look up.
"Simon," he began tiredly.
"Not Simon," Harry said.
Cedric lifted his head. Dark shadows ringed his eyes, and he looked exhausted. He also looked afraid, more afraid than when he'd been about to face a dragon. "Harry, I --"
"Was that why you don't want to be friends anymore? Because you fancy me?"
Cedric's silence and averted gaze was answer enough, but Harry had to hear him say it. He wanted to know that, if he decided to accept what Cedric had offered, there would be no more hesitation, no more fear. If Cedric could say it out loud, it was real.
"Please, don't do this," Cedric whispered. "I'm sorry - I'd give anything to be friends again if it meant - if it meant you would stop hating me."
Harry placed a hand on Cedric's elbow.
The other boy started at the contact, and he chanced to meet Harry's gaze.
"Who said I hated you?" Harry asked.
Cedric reached up to drag a hand through his hair in frustration, but Harry caught his wrist, stilling him.
"How could you not hate me?" And this time Cedric met Harry's gaze squarely, abject misery shining out of his grey eyes. "I kissed you. And I'm a boy."
"Of course you're a boy," Harry said, and he smiled slightly. "You're Cedric. And I don't hate you. I still want us to be friends."
Cedric tried to tug his hand free. "You want to be friends with a freak?"
Harry smiled. "I'm the one who hears snakes in the walls."
"It's not the same," Cedric muttered.
"Who said it has to be?"
Cedric's brow furrowed. "I didn't say it had to be, I just meant --" He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. Emotional turmoil robbed him of his eloquence.
Cedric wasn't looking at him, was staring at his shoes like a nervous first year, and Harry realized it was his turn. Cedric had said the words Harry needed to hear, and now it was Harry's turn to take a step forward. So he leaned up his toes and planted a kiss on Cedric's mouth. When he drew back slightly, Cedric looked absolutely petrified.
Harry kissed him again.
This time, Cedric kissed back, if cautiously.
Then he pulled away.
"Harry, are you absolutely sure you know what you're --"
Harry dragged him in for another kiss. "I don't know a thing. I was hoping you'd learn it with me." He offered another smile, and wonder crossed Cedric's face, wonder and awe, as if kissing Harry was like having Christmas come in March.
"So...what, exactly, is an assignation?"
* * *
10.
Cedric buried his face in Harry's neck and tried to ignore the fact that he was a prefect out past curfew on a night he wasn't on patrol, and that he was keeping another student out past curfew as well.
But when Harry made those delicious little noises and writhed in his arms it wasn't easy to think.
Harry laughed softly, stroking Cedric's hair. "We should've found an empty classroom for this."
"I know." Cedric groaned when Harry leaned up and nibbled at that spot right behind his jaw. "It's just - I don't think I could really leave right now --"
Harry smiled beneath Cedric's kiss and said, "Good. It means I've learned something." He'd been driving Cedric mad with little brushes of his fingertips on Cedric's bare skin where Harry dared to delve beneath the hem of his uniform shirt, and now he was sliding his hand higher and higher up Cedric's back, driving him even madder with mere touch.
Cedric captured Harry's mouth in a long, deep kiss. When they came up for air, he said, "Practice makes perfect, after all."
Harry languidly traced the line of Cedric's spine. "And we're diligent at practice, aren't we?"
"We are," Cedric said, and leaned in to kiss Harry again. He was hot all over, burning, and the ache of arousal between his thighs wasn't helping. He knew he'd have to stop soon if he didn't want to push things too far, but then Harry was sliding a hand up his chest, and when his fingertips brushed a nipple Cedric felt another surge of arousal.
Harry must have felt it too, for he began to stroke the oversensitive nub of flesh, wringing soft moans and gasps from Cedric's lips.
"Like that?" he whispered. "I think I've learned something new."
Cedric managed a wordless sound of approval before he felt Harry's other hand begin the agonizingly slow journey downward. In moments, Cedric would be beyond rational thought. He caught Harry's wrist, and his entire body screamed at him for it, but he had to.
"Harry - don't. You - I can't - not if you're not ready," he managed.
The lust that clouded Harry's eyes began to dissipate. "What?"
Cedric bit his lip to keep from screaming in frustration. He took a few ragged breaths before he could speak again. "It's just - if you do that, I don't know how much further I can go before - "
Harry deliberately tugged his hand lower, but Cedric didn't relent.
"Harry, think, please." Cedric wasn't sure why he said that, as he could barely do so himself.
"Don't you want me?"
The plaintive note in Harry's voice almost broke Cedric's heart, and he gathered Harry into a tight embrace, burying his face in Harry's hair.
"I do want you," he whispered. "I want you more than you can imagine. But I love you, and I don't want to push you or make you do anything stupid, and..."
"And what?" Harry asked.
"And I'd want your first time to be special, not up against the wall in the Charms corridor." Cedric was glad Harry couldn't see his face, because he was blushing hard for his schoolgirl declaration.
Harry relaxed in his arms, and they stood there, breathing together until their heart rates were back to normal.
Cedric lowered his head for another kiss, this one slow and gentle without the urgency of desire behind it. Harry reached up, twining his hands in Cedric's hair to tug him closer, deepen the kiss.
Cedric pulled back gently and said, "It's far past curfew."
"But you're a prefect --"
Cedric placed a finger against Harry's lips. "A prefect who loves you and doesn't want to see you in detention."
Harry's eyes fluttered closed.
"I do love you," Cedric whispered, and when his heart rate went up this time, it was because his heart was soaring. He leaned in and brushed his lips against Harry's once, twice.
Harry opened his eyes and smiled. Cedric was robbed of speech.
Then Harry darted in for another kiss, startling Cedric out of his momentary daze. Harry stepped back, and Cedric pushed away from the wall, pausing mid-motion to stretch.
Harry blushed and smiled.
"Now bed - go," Cedric whispered. He started down the corridor toward the Hufflepuff dormitories, then paused and waved before continuing on.
He made it into the Sixth Year boys' dorm without waking Simon and Ben, so he crawled into his bed and drew the drapes shut before flinging himself down on the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. After a few moments he sat up and unlaced his shoes, kicked them off and reached through the drapes to place them on the chest at the foot of the bed. He squirmed out of the rest of his uniform and then sat there in the dark, wondering if it would really be worth the effort to change into his pajamas and then sneak down to the loo to brush his teeth. Cedric reached up and pressed his fingers lightly to his lips, remembering the sensation of Harry's kisses, and he smiled goofily. Then he lay down and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.
* * *
11.
Harry glanced over to where Cedric was making a list of all the defensive and offensive spells he thought would be useful in the maze. Harry wouldn't be able to learn all of them, but he'd be able to learn important ones. Cedric would teach him.
Unless Harry's next words ruined it all.
"Cedric."
Cedric glanced up. He looked adorably bookworm-ish, with a smudge of ink across his nose. "Yes?"
"Neville knows."
Cedric's gaze darkened, and he set down his quill. "What? How?"
"One night in the corridor - after you left, I ran into him." Harry stared down at his hands, trying not to fidget. "He promised he wouldn't tell. He - he actually seems to understand, just a bit." Harry lifted his gaze and waited for the verdict.
Cedric rested his chin in his hand, staring out the window of the tower where they'd first kissed. After a few long moments of silence, he said,
"Neville Longbottom. Do you trust him?"
Harry thought of Neville standing up to him, Ron, and Hermione in their first year and taking a full body bind from Hermione without so much as a flinch. He nodded. "Yes, I do."
Cedric sighed. "Then I trust you. We'll just have to be more careful, won't we?"
Harry ducked his head. "Cedric, I'm sorry --"
Cedric placed a finger under his chin and lifted his head so their gazes met. "I said 'we', didn't I? Both of us will be more careful from now on. Sometimes these things happen."
Harry nodded, and Cedric turned the gesture into a caress, tracing the line of Harry's lips.
"In light of being more careful, here - come learn this muffling charm. It muffles your footsteps so no one can hear you walk."
Harry leaned in, resting his head on Cedric's shoulder, and watched him demonstrate the wand motion.
Cedric was such an excellent wizard.
* * *
12.
Harry looked tense, arms crossed over his chest, head bowed. Over Harry's shoulder, the beautiful Fleur looked ready to sick up on her headmistress's shoes. Krum looked equally grim, but then he was a professional Quidditch player and probably used to the pressure.
Cedric looked at his father and smiled tightly.
Father, I wish I could tell you about the boy I love.
Beyond Cedric's father, Moody was giving Harry a last-minute pep talk.
Then Bagman called them together, and they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, awaiting their fate. Cedric didn't really hear everything Bagman said, just nodded and smiled and tried to look brave, and then the crowds were roaring and the champions were being jostled apart.
Before Cedric's father dragged him all the way to the starting point, Cedric managed to catch Harry's eye.
"Good luck," he said.
"Good luck to you too," Harry whispered back, smiled, and then went to stand beside Moody.
Cedric faced the entrance to the maze and wondered how he would survive.
Nineteen