It's just like that scene in Lethal Weapon, only not - Hot Fuzz: Nicholas/Danny
Title: It’s just like that scene from Lethal Weapon, only not.
Author: skitz_phenom
Rating: PG
Fandom/Pairing: Hot Fuzz: Nicholas/Danny
Warning: Wee bit ‘o slash. If that offends, avert thine eyes.
Disclaimer: Hot Fuzz belongs to the Holy Trinity… I’m merely messing about and mean no offense, and will put things back the way I found them. Oh, and no copies of Lethal Weapon were harmed in the writing of this fic.
Word Count: 7,343(!)
Summary: Danny’s been acting strange and Nicholas is going to get to the bottom of things.
A/N: Good Christ this thing ran away with me. So much so that I’ve just barely finished in time and haven’t had a chance to get it beta’d. (Someday I’ll get the hang of punctuating dialogue). But, I got it done. That in itself is a-may-zing. Many thanks to canciona for organizing this challenge! You rock, hon.
Lyrics: Imagine, I'm in love with you, it's easy 'cos I know,
I've imagined I'm in love with you, many, many, many times before.
(from I'll Get You, off Past Masters, Volume I)
“Have you ever lost a partner?”
Nicholas Angel looked up from his notebook, setting the pen down beside it on the table next to his half-emptied pint. His forehead crinkled with puzzlement as he eyed his best mate across the scarred tabletop. It had been a long while since Danny had asked one of his ‘have you ever’ questions, and never one quite like this.
There was an habitual ‘No’ on his lips, a pat answer to the ‘Have you ever’ question (although in an ironic twist of fate, everyone one of those previous no’s had eventually become a yes); but, because it was Danny, and because they were long past those original days when he just wanted the bloody questions to stop, he stopped to think about it.
“Well, if you’re asking about whether or not I’ve ever had a partner killed in the line of duty? Then the answer is no.” He canted his head slightly, curious. “Is that what you’re asking?”
Danny shrugged in that loose-shouldered way he had. “Dunno. I ‘spose.” He paused a moment, seeming unsure, before adding, “But have you ever had a partner leave? Like if you didn’t want to work with him anymore, or there were problems or somethin’?”
Utterly perplexed by the reasons for these questions, it certainly was heavy conversation for a post-shift evening at the pub, Nicholas could only answer them honestly. “Well, yes I’ve had a partner leave. Three of them actually. One of them switched over to the mounted division so we didn’t work together any longer. Two requested transfers because they found me a bit difficult to work with.” He gave a self-deprecating little sniff and saw Danny’s hand, the one wrapped loosely around his mug, twitch. Almost as if it had been stopped in the act of reaching for him.
“They were idiots.” Danny protested. “You’re a great partner.”
“It was a long time ago,” Nicholas reassured him with a smile. “Doesn’t bother me anymore. What brought this up, anyway?” He asked, gently but curious.
“Oh,” Danny hurried to answer, “just something Doris and the Andes were talkin’ about. Got me to thinkin’.”
Nicholas frowned. Danny’s answer sounded legitimate enough, but the way in which he’d sputtered it out seemed unnatural or almost rehearsed. Perhaps not the truth then, he mused. He’d seen similar reactions when interrogating suspects who were trying to hide something from him. But what could Danny have to hide?
It wasn’t the first time in the past few days that Nicholas had asked himself that question. The younger man had been unusually reticent during work and off the clock as well. He’d even gone so far as to beg off of watching “Die Hard” the other evening. At the time Nicholas had believed his story that he was feeling a bit knackered after a day spent chasing the swan from one end of town to the other, but now he wondered if the truth lay in a different direction. There was something up with his partner, and Nicholas was going to get to the bottom of it.
Danny had suddenly become his next case. He needed to solve whatever it was that had his friend acting so out of sorts. Except that he didn’t quite know how to go about it. Something like this - sussing out the reason for his best mate’s mood - didn’t seem like the type of thing he could solve using the methods he normally would for an investigation. No, he’d need to use his feelings more than anything else. Emotional forensics, if he had to put a name to it.
The difficulty would be that Nick wasn’t exactly ‘in-touch’ with his emotions. At least, not as much as someone who wore them so openly on their sleeve, like Danny. Except that Danny wasn’t expressing himself as plainly as he normally did. There was something hidden and reserved in his manner; he’d rolled up those metaphorical sleeves for some reason.
Struck by a sudden thought he snatched for his pen and hurried to jot down his suspicions on a fresh page in his notebook.
“What you writing?” His partner asked, startling Nicholas into dropping the pen. In his rush to analyze, he’d forgotten that the target of his analysis was sitting across the table from him.
He gave a reassuring smile, “Oh, nothing much, Danny,” and flipped the notebook shut dismissively, “just had an idea about Marjorie Seller’s begonias.”
Danny seemed to buy that because he snorted in amusement. “Leave it to you, Nicholas, to get a wild thought about an elderly woman’s flower beds.” He shook his head, but continued to grin.
Chuckling as well, Nicholas replied, “That’s my cue to ‘switch off’ for today, isn’t it, Danny?”
The other man nodded. “Yeah, no police work over pints, remember?”
He echoed the nod. “Right you are, partner.” He gave Danny’s empty a pointed glance. “And it looks like you’re ready for another one. I’ll get this round.” As he stood up from the table he casually picked up the notebook and returned it to his pocket, then grabbed their empty glasses and headed for the bar.
Over the next few days Nicholas kept an eye on his partner, and when he got the opportunity, jotted down his observations. He noticed many more little oddities and altered behaviors than he’d expected, but wasn’t sure if that was because they were increasing or just that he was finally cognizant of them. And if the latter were true, he wondered just how long he’d been oblivious.
A Thursday evening, one week later, found Nicholas sitting at the tidy little table in his kitchen, his notebook and a bottle of lager both open in front of him. He stared down at the neat little rows of lines in his notebook, trying to make sense of them. Careful observations like: “10th March: Refused to visit pub.” clashed with a hastily scribbled “Had an extra Cornetto on shift.” But no matter how he tried to rearrange the different bits and pieces to read deeper, he just wasn’t coming to a logical conclusion.
The trouble, he decided, was that he needed Danny. He’d spent the last nine months bouncing all of his thoughts and ideas and wild hypothesis off of his partner, using the other man’s unique perspective to come up with the little missing bits and pieces that linked everything together. Where he delved too deep, Danny would skim the surface to find what he’s missed, when he couldn’t put the pieces together, Danny would come up with the connection that was needed, and when it took that small-town view versus his big-city background, he could always rely on Danny to provide it. It had been a heady realization to come too that he was no longer ‘solo’, that he was now part of a team. And what he needed to help him sort this out was the other half of that team.
Well that left him in a bit of a quandary, didn’t it? He couldn’t rightly ask Danny about his own ‘case’ could he? Thinking about it a bit longer, a second and third lager being put to rest as he studied the notes and considered, Nicholas couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason not to consult Danny. There was certainly nothing that said that Danny needed to be told all of the details. He could edit his notes to remove some of the more obvious remark or identifying data.
A smile picked at the corners of his mouth as he tore out a page from the notebook and began to recopy the salient points, carefully omitting anything that was too obviously ‘Danny’. Pen scratching at the blank sheet, Nicholas felt suddenly sure that he’d have his answers soon.
The following evening after their shift, Danny had declared that he wasn’t feeling up to the pub but had intimated that perhaps Nicholas might like to come over for some take-out and beer and shoot-em-up movies, to which Nicholas readily agreed. He’d already decided that the next time he and his partner got a chance to talk away from the station or the patrol car, or the noisy pub, he’d broach the subject of his little side-project.
Nicholas waited until the takeaway containers has been cleared away (by him) and they each had a fresh lager (courtesy of Danny) and the other man was fingering through his monstrous DVD collection trying to choose their entertainment for that evening.
“Hey, Danny?”
“Yeah?” The response came just a bit distracted as Danny mumbled and flipped and discarded title after title.
“I wanted to get your opinion on something.” He drew a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I’ve got some notes about a particular situation that I’ve been looking in to.”
Danny stopped his perusal and turned to look back at him with a peculiar expression. “You been working on something with out me?”
“Not exactly.” He shrugged. “It’s just something that one of the officers at the station has asked me to look into. It’s rather in confidence,” he hesitated slightly and saw Danny’s face being to fall, “but I don’t for one minute think that means I can’t discuss it with my partner.”
Danny just about literally beamed at that. If he’d had light bulbs in place of eyes, Nicholas would have been blinded. Even though he did feel a bit guilty of deceiving Danny, he was suddenly very glad he’d decided to come to him.
“So what’s this about then?” Danny asked, turning his back to movie shelves.
With a quick glance at his piece of paper, Nicholas explained, “Well, a certain person has asked me to look into the behavior of another certain person. You see, the first person…”
“Call ‘em Person A and Person B.” Danny broke in to suggest. “Easier to keep track of that way.”
Nicholas nodded in approval. “Right you are, Danny. So Person A…”
“Or wait,” Danny interrupted again, “call them Murtaugh and Riggs instead.” He grinned eagerly.
“Murtaugh and Riggs?”
“Yeah, you know, like in Lethal Weapon.” He went so far as to pull out the DVD from the shelf and waggle it.
“Yes, I know Danny.” He rolled his eyes slightly but nodded. “Alright, well Murtaugh,” Danny clapped his hands gleefully. “has noticed that Riggs hasn’t been himself lately. He’s been acting out of sorts, and it has Murtaugh concerned. He doesn’t know what’s causing Riggs to act this way and he asked me to see if I could find out.”
“I’ve been keeping any eye on him when the opportunity presents itself, especially when he’s interacting with other people. I’m beginning to suspect that Riggs’s behavior might be the result of an issue with another person.”
“Ohh, like he’s angry or upset at someone?”
He shrugged. “That’s just it, Danny. I’m not sure what the reason is.”
“Well you’ve got to look at it like any other case, yeah?”
Nicholas nodded.
“So, start with puttin’ together a list of suspects. Who does Riggs know, who does he spend time with, all that lot.” Danny was clearly enjoying the application of police investigational techniques to personal interest. He abandoned the DVD library and rejoined Nicholas on the couch. He pushed Nicholas’s notepad and pen back into hand and urged, “Go on, get writing.”
Dutifully, Nicholas put pen tip to paper and then looked at Danny expectantly.
“So, who does Riggs spend his time with?”
“Well, there’s Murtaugh of course.”
Danny nodded.
“Although…”
“Although what?”
Nicholas lowered the pen a moment. “Well, seeing as it’s Murtaugh who’s questioning Rigg’s behavior, do you think he should still be on the list?”
“Oh yeah.” Danny nodded again. “He’s your most likely suspect!”
Blinking, Nicholas asked, “He is?”
“Sure, why not? If Murtaugh is the one who’s worried about Riggs, he’s obviously a good mate and maybe since they’re good mates he’s too close to the situation to realize what’s going on. ‘S pretty obvious.” He scratched thoughtfully at his chin, completely oblivious to the fact that Nicholas was boggling at him. “But maybe too obvious. Who else’ve ya got?”
When Danny turned to him expectantly, Nicholas had his expression under control once more. Feeling as if he’d narrowly escaped something, but unsure of what, Nicholas hurried to outline his entire list of ‘suspects’, which basically boiled down to everyone at the station and people they knew from the pub, and half of the town for that matter.
“That’s a long list.” Danny observed once they were done going through it.
“Yes. Perhaps we’d do best to start narrowing it down.”
Frowning, Danny slid the noted book across the coffee table so he could see Nicholas’s notes for himself. “We’re goin’ about this the wrong way. I mean, we’ve got our list of suspects, but we need to figure out the ‘what’ of what’s bothering Riggs before we can figure out the ‘who’.”
“You’re right, Danny. Good call.” Nicholas agreed, and smiled as his partner flashed him a pleased grin. “Why don’t you take a look at my notes and see if you can come up with something.” He raised his hand to scrub a path through his close-cropped hair, letting it come to rest on the back of his neck. “I’ve been over them a dozen times and can’t seem to make heads or tails of it,” he admitted. “A fresh pair of eyes would be helpful.”
“Yeah, ‘course.” Danny gave an eager bob of his head, and then picked up the notebook. Nicholas watched him flip through the pages, smiling affectionately when Danny’s lips moved occasionally as he read. Every now and then he paused for a sip of his lager, or squinted in puzzlement at something Nicholas had written, and one time Nicholas thought for sure the game was up as the other man gave a wry head shake followed by a chuckle.
When he set the notebook down on the table next to his empty can, Nicholas couldn’t help but ask, “Well? What do you think? Any ideas?”
Danny was silent a moment, his lips pursed in thought. Finally after giving Nicholas a furtive, sideward glance he said; “Seems to me like Riggs might have feelings for someone that he’s not sure how to deal with. Maybe he fancies someone, but he’s struggling with it and that’s why he’s keeping it so close? Maybe that’s why Murtaugh doesn’t know what’s goin’ on.”
“So,” Nicholas nodded his head, following along Danny’s path of discovery, “you’re saying that maybe he’s in love, but doesn’t know how to tell the person, or anyone for that matter?” When Danny nodded, Nicholas felt all the breath go out of him.
Danny was in love? But with who? And why did Nicholas stomach suddenly feel that same floor-dropping, nauseating sensation he’d felt only on two other occasions: the first when he’d thought that Danny had betrayed him for the NWA, and the second when Danny had jumped in front of a firing blunderbuss.
Hoping that his face didn’t project the sudden and peculiar despair, Nicholas carefully pushed ahead. “Well, I could definitely concede the possibility.” He tapped the pen against his table edge. “But with who?”
“Well,” Danny speculated, “it has to be someone that Riggs spends a-lot of time with, doesn’t it?” Nicholas nodded. “And it’s probably someone who doesn’t have a clue how Riggs feels.”
“Why do you think that?”
With a scoffing noise as if to say ‘isn’t it obvious?’ Danny explained, “Well, if our suspect knew how Riggs felt, it wouldn’t be buggin’ Riggs so much, would it?” His eyes widened. “Unless, this person knows how Riggs feels, but doesn’t feel the same way.”
“That’s a possibility.” Nicholas conceded. “But, I don’t think that Riggs is acting like he’s been rebuked.”
“No, you’re right, Nick.” He tapped the pad of paper. “From the way he’s been acting it’s more like he’s got something to hide.”
“But why would he, Riggs, want to hide the fact that he’s in love? What good would that do?”
Danny shrugged, “I dunno. Maybe Riggs doesn’t want the person to find out cuz he’s afraid of what they’ll say?” He looked away then, past Nicholas and towards the window. “Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin a friendship or sommat like that?”
“Oh,” Nicholas breathed, feeling a stab of despair for his friend. “I hadn’t even considered that, Danny. You’re right. Maybe there’s a reason he’s hiding his feelings? Maybe he’s afraid of what the other person will say.” He gave a puzzled frown. “Or maybe he’s afraid of what everyone else will say?”
“What’dya mean?”
“I don’t know for sure, Danny, but maybe he’s worried about upsetting people.” He spread his hands. “What if there’s something about the person he’s in love with… maybe it’s someone who’s married…?” He trailed off in his speculation, trying to work the new thought in with the old. The thought that Danny might be in love with a married woman made him feel even worse for some reason.
“Could be because it’s ‘taboo’.” He used finger quotes on the latter.
Nicholas turned a puzzled expression to his partner. “What do you mean? What would be taboo?”
“Oh my God!” Danny exclaimed suddenly, turning to Nicholas with an animated grin. “It’s the Andes, isn’t it?”
“What?” Nicholas spluttered.
“The Andes! That’s who this is about. Riggs is one of the Andes!”
“No.” He hurried to deny that wild speculation, “No… ‘Riggs’ isn’t one of the Andes.” Then he looked back down at his notes and raised a brow. “Although, now that you mention it, it very well could describe them, couldn’t it?” He snickered. “Well I’ll be damned.”
“Yeah,” Danny laughed, “now we can call ‘em on all the time that they called us benders. Tell ‘em that they’re only callin’ us benders to hide the fact that they’re benders.”
Nicholas bobbed his head, smiling agreeably, but his mind was already churning. He hadn’t considered that Danny might be interested in a man. In fact, he’d never really considered what his friend’s predilections might be. Danny was just always, well, Danny. He supposed he’d never thought of it for the same reason he never thought of Danny with a woman. He just didn’t ever like to think of Danny with anyone at all: didn’t like the thought that someone could come between their partnership or their camaraderie or their friendship. But, adding the variable of ‘blokes’ to the equation he was trying to solve certainly led to a whole plethora of different outcomes.
Dropping his eyes back down to the paper in his hand, Nicholas looked over his list of ‘clues’ armed with this new knowledge. It was definitely possible that if Danny was in love with a man, he might be acting so strangely out of fear of discovery. Not even because of public opinions, but what if this fellow didn’t go for blokes? He could certainly understand Danny wanting to keep his feelings to himself out of fear. It could be a big risk if he were to admit how he felt. It could mean an uncomfortable working environment or the end of a friendship or the severing of a partnership.
That thought struck a chord and Danny’s question from several days ago in the pub popped into Nicholas’s mind. He’d seemed worried about their partnership ending for some reason, hadn’t he? Did Danny think that he wouldn’t be his friend or care for him anymore if he found out? What other reason could Danny have for worrying about losing him as a partner?
Suddenly, with a snap like the last piece being fitted into a puzzle, everything clicked in his mind. He could finally see the whole picture - could finally fit it all together and follow the logical progression of his findings and see where the evidence was leading. For just a few minutes his list of suspects had more than doubled, and then was instantly, unequivocally narrowed down to just one: himself.
Nicholas stared, unseeing, at the scribbling on the page for many long minutes as he tried to process that revelation. It was Danny’s soft and concerned, “Hey,” that finally drew his attention back to the present and he looked over to see the other man staring at him in concern.
“Didn’t mean nothin’ by it,” he was saying, and Nicholas realized that Danny thought he’d offended him with his remarks about the Andes and being called ‘benders’.
He waved a hand dismissively and gave a tight grin. “No, it’s fine Danny. I was just thinking of something else for a moment. But you’re right,” he chuckled half-heartedly, “you’re right; the Andes would do well to learn that turnabout is fair play.”
He gave another halting smile. “Oh, but look here.” Nicholas gestured to the coffee table where his and Danny’s lager cans sat empty. “Detective work is thirsty work.” He practically leapt up from the couch. “I’ll get us another round.” And he hurried into the kitchen before Danny had a chance to reply.
In the safety of the kitchen, Nicholas went to the fridge and wrapped his fingers around the handle, but didn’t open it. He leaned his forehead against its cool surface. What was he going to do? His partner, his best mate, hell, the person he was closest to in the whole world, was in love with him. Had been in love with him for some time if the evidence trail could be believed. So what was he to do now?
Pulling away from the fridge, Nicholas sighed. He couldn’t deal with the immediacy of everything and though he felt like a complete prat, he knew the best thing to do would be to leave. He needed to get away and clear his head and absorb and analyze and assimilate this new knowledge.
Busying himself with the task of getting a lager out of the fridge, Nicholas tried very hard not to think of anything at all just now. But his mind was traitorous and even as he carried the beverage back into Danny’s living room, the new and scary thoughts threatened to overwhelm him again.
As he handed Danny the chilly can, his friend looked up to see the he didn’t have a matching one for himself. “Ain’t you drinkin?”
Nicholas shook his head. “No, I’m not. Listen, Danny. I uh… I’ve got some paperwork back at the station that I forgot about. I needed to get it done for tomorrow…” Good Christ, if that wasn’t the worst lie he’d ever come up with. He might as well have said that he had to go water his peace lily for all the subtly he’d employed. “I’m sorry. Can we rain check on the movie?”
“But what about the case…” Danny looked up at him with confusion and growing hurt on his face. “I thought…”
“I know, Danny. I’m sorry.” At least that was the truth, Nicholas thought bitterly. He certainly was sorry. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Uh, yeah. ‘Spose.” He looked for a moment like he wanted to say more, but thankfully he simply gave a curt little nod. “G’night, Nick.”
“’Night, Danny.”
Feeling like quite the coward, Nicholas fled. He grabbed his coat and was out the door before his friend had the chance to stop him. Outside, he turned first in the direction of his cottage, then changed his mind and struck out the opposite way, his path aimless. The brisk night air slapped at his face as he strode down the street, but Nicholas walked on oblivious to its chilly edge.
Nicholas knew, without conceit, that he was sharp and smart and observant. His career in the service bespoke these abilities quite aptly. It was the worst kind of irony that he’d been dull and dumb and blind when it came to something so obvious and so desperately important. He supposed he shouldn’t beat himself up too badly; after all, he’d never been very good at dealing with emotions and feelings. Even still, the fact that he’d been so blind to what was, in hindsight, glaringly obvious made him feel quite foolish.
While his wandering took him purposelessly down the nearly deserted Sandford streets, he thought back through the past several months and all the time that he and Danny had spent together. One thing he had to admit was that if Danny had been in love with him the whole time, it really hadn’t changed anything. They’d still had all the fun they had, and worked together like clockwork and enjoyed all the movies and the dinners and the nights at the pub. Nothing had changed that. It was only his new awareness of Danny’s feelings that was impacting their friendship, and that wasn’t fair to Danny.
The problem was that Nicholas didn’t know how to be fair to Danny. His feelings were just so far outside the realm of what Nicholas knew how to deal with. Since he’d come to Sandford he’d never even considered a relationship with anyone. At first it was because he was intending to leave as soon as possible, and then because of everything that occurred with the NWA as well as the aftermath, and once all that dust settled it was simply because he didn’t want anything to upset the status quo. He liked his life just the way it was. And it wasn’t necessarily the gender aspect that freaked him out the most, although if he were honest with himself, that was a factor, it was the fact that in the past his relationships had been very simple and he knew how to handle them.
Jeanine had been ‘right’. She’d fit into the neat little equation that his life had been. She was the appropriate woman for him to be with; pretty, career-driven, smart, the epitome of a successful man’s girlfriend. That’s why he’d even discussed marrying her. Nicholas snorted derisively. Discussed. There’d been no sweeping declaration, no grand gestures; just a simple, frank discussion in which he’d weighed all the pros and cons of their being married.
Nick scoffed aloud, his breath steaming into the crisp and chilly evening. God, he really was a twat sometimes, wasn’t he?
Danny was a completely different story, however. Danny didn’t fit anywhere into his neat, organized, compartmentalized life. In fact, it was thanks to Danny that he’d finally broken free of those confinements. His days were no longer full of dull routine and stale, sameness; and, while he still kept up some of his old habits and schedules - because he still found a morning run to be the best way to start the day - Danny never let them consume him. His mate had a knack for knowing exactly when to suggest a stop at the shop for a Cornetto, or which days at the station necessitated a few pints at the pub, versus those that called for a quieter evening of carry-out and action movies in the comfort of his cottage or Danny’s flat.
It was funny now that he thought about it, but the things he got from his partner, the things their relationship provided, were the kinds of things he’d always assumed would follow if he and Jeanine had been married. Easy camaraderie and simple understanding and endearing patience; things he’d been missing without even realizing. Little things. Like when he’d had a bad day and went off to water his peace lily, Jeanine had rolled her eyes at him, but Danny followed after and asked about temperature of the water he used, and if plant food was good for lilies and if he could give the spray-mister a try. Little things, but important things nonetheless. Hell, he and Danny were more like a couple than any couple he knew!
Kicking at a loose stone, Nicholas sighed. The real questions that he had to answer for himself was not if he could love Danny, because he already loved his partner and best friend more than he even realized, but whether or not he could be in love with Danny. The latter question brought with it all the complications of gender and the impact on their friendship and even work-related issues of supervisor and subordinate.
Once again, Nicholas found himself floundering. This was yet another one of those situations where he wanted - no needed - his partner’s input. It was downright bloody terrifying to realize just how much he’d come to rely on the other man. Yet, at the same time, Nicholas found it surprisingly freeing and easy and right. And it was that feeling, that absolute faith, which made him decide again to seek out Danny for his help and guidance. He knew with absolute certainty that they could work this out together.
Nicholas stumbled to a halt, mid-stride and glanced around blinking, like a sleepwalker just waking. It took him a few minutes to realize where he was, but once he got his bearings he turned right around and headed back for Danny’s.
By the time Nicholas got back to Danny’s house it was after midnight and all the lights were dark. He almost stopped before knocking, knuckles poised inches from the door, but then swallowed hard and rapped on the door. He’d faced down an entire crazed town-council armed with automatic weapons, how hard could it be to face his partner armed with his feelings? It took a few minutes, and a bit more insistent knocking, but Nicholas finally saw the windows brighten, first one he knew to be a living room lamp, and then the one near the door. A few moments after that, Danny opened the door. He looked sleep-tousled and blearily puzzled.
“Nicholas? What you doin’ here?”
“I needed to talk to you, Danny. Can I come in?”
Danny scrubbed a hand through hair that looked as if it had achieved its styling against the arm of the couch. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled, backing up to step aside and let the other man in.
They settled on the couch, which was still warm from Danny have slept there. It surprised Nicholas to find how good it felt to settle into those rumpled, body-warmed cushions. “You slept on the couch?” He asked, which wasn’t what he’d wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite bring himself around to that yet.
Danny glanced around and gave a sleepy shrug. “Yeah, dozed off on the couch. Didn’t feel like getting’ up. Weren’t tired for awhile after you left so I watched some telly. Guess I just nodded off.”
“Oh.” Nicholas replied, mentally fumbling with the best way to proceed.
“So what’re you doin’ here, Nicholas?” Danny asked before he could finish gathering his thoughts. The younger man’s expression might have been wary or it might have just been lingering sleepiness causing the narrowing around his eyes.
“Well, you see, Danny.” He paused to rummage through his coat pocket. Drawing out his note book, he flipped it open.
Danny sighed. “So, this is about the case then?” He asked and this time Nicholas knew he wasn’t imagining the disappointment.
“Yeah,” he agreed, “it’s about the case.”
As he watched, Danny made a visible effort to rally himself and feign enthusiasm. Nicholas felt a pang in the center of his chest as the other man sat up straighter and tried to sound chipper as he asked, “Alright, so what ya got?”
He flipped through the notebook to find the page where he’d made his latest observations. “Well, I think I’ve narrowed down our suspect.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, and I’ve had a bit of a talk with him to try to suss out how he feels about this other bloke… I mean about Riggs.”
“So it’s a bloke then?” Danny asked, tone betraying nothing other than curiosity.
Nicholas nodded a trifle sheepishly. “Right, which was one of the factors I hadn’t fully considered. But, I did a little digging and came up with the answer.”
“So,” Danny asked, this time with just a tint of eagerness coloring the curiosity. “What does this bloke think about all this then? Did you tell him what you think is goin’ on with Riggs?”
“Yeah, he knows. And, well, he was quite shocked.”
“Well, that’s no surprise.” He gave a wry smile. “Some pretty big news to be hit with, I imagine.”
“Yes, it certainly was…I mean would be.” Hastily, Nicholas added. “So what do you think?”
“I think someone ought to get these blokes to sit down and talk to each other.” Danny declared. “That’s what I think.”
“Yes, well it’s a delicate subject. It might not be easy to get them to open up.”
“That’s true.” Scooting closer on the couch, Danny turned to face Nicholas. “I’ve an idea. Let’s go through it, shall we? Sort of, act it out to see how it might go. Then you’ll have some better advice to give this bloke.”
“You mean, like role-playing?” Nicholas pursed his lips. Acting out situations was certainly well within the police repertoire. Certain dangerous circumstances, like hostage encounters, could only be adequately trained in through skillfully staged scenarios and reenactments. He nodded. “Alright.”
Danny gestured between them with a hand. “You be Murtaugh and I’ll be Riggs.”
Nicholas’s eyes narrowed. “How did you know it was Murtaugh?”
Danny shrugged, wearing a peculiar grin. “Ah, I figured it out earlier, after you left. Just seemed to make the most sense.” The grin grew even odder. “Murtaugh was just blind to what was goin’ on right in front of him.” He shook his head mock-sadly. “Poor daft bugger.”
“Yes, well.” Nicholas tried very hard not to take that personally. “I’m sure he’s beating himself up enough, no need to criticize.”
Danny ignored that. “Okay, so you’re Murtaugh and I’m Riggs. Pretend that I’m in love with you. Tell me what you’d say.”
“Alright. Well…”
“Wait,” Danny interrupted. “Aint’ ya gonna take my hand or anything?” He gave yet another sad shake of his head. “This Murtaugh bloke ain’t much of a romantic.”
Rolling his eyes, Nicholas reached out to take hold of one of Danny’s hands. It surprised him to feel that one of them was trembling. He was almost certain it was himself. “Better?”
Danny nodded.
“Alright. So, Danny…”
“No, no, no.” The other man broke in yet again. “I’m Riggs, remember.”
Face having drained to pasty whiteness as he realized what he’d almost revealed, Nicholas nodded. “Right.” He swallowed noisily. “Right, Riggs.” He drew in a breath and then frowned. “Wait a minute. If I’m Murtaugh and you’re Riggs, shouldn’t you be starting this conversation?”
“What d’ya mean?”
“What do you mean, ‘what do I mean’? It’s Riggs who’s in love with Murtaugh, right?” Danny inclined his head in agreement, and Nicholas deliberately looked past the weirdness of the conversation to make his point. “So, shouldn’t Riggs be professing that undying affection?”
Danny shook his head. “Nah, see Riggs might well be in love with Murtaugh, but he doesn’t know that Murtaugh knows that he’s in love with him. Riggs has obviously been keeping these feelings to himself for a long while, so he’d have no reason to bring them up.” He waggled a finger on the hand that was not currently being held by Nicholas. “But Murtaugh has just found out that his best mate is in love with him, right? So, he’s got to be the one to start the conversation.”
Raising an eyebrow, Nicholas tried to follow his logic, and somehow succeeded. “Well, when you put it that way…” He turned in his seat to face the dark haired man a bit more directly. Obviously attempts to forestall the conversation would be deflected, so once again he took a very deep, very unsteady breath. “Right, well, here we go then.”
“Riggs,” He said quite pointedly in a steady, tolerant tone equivalent to the one he used when dealing with little old ladies and small children. “It has come to my attention that…” He broke off yet again as Danny threw both hands up in the air with an exasperated noise. “What?! What did I do wrong this time?”
“C’mon, mate.” Danny urged. “If Murtaugh just found out that Riggs was in love with him, d’ya think he’d say something so daft?” He mimicked Nicholas’s sober voice. “’It has come to my attention’, blah blah blah.” Nicholas flushed as Danny shook his head, “No way. He’d… well, he’d do it more like this.” And with that, Danny took hold of both of Nicholas’s hands, clasping them tightly. He leaned forward and stared deeply into Nicholas’s eyes.
“Look, Riggs.” He began in an impassioned voice, “You and me, we been mates for a long time, yeah? Had each others backs through thick and thin. And you know there ain’t nothing you can’t tell me or nothing you can’t come to me about right?”
Caught up, Nicholas could only nod.
“So, c’mon, mate. Talk to me.” He implored. “There’s nothing can stop me from bein’ your best mate. Nothin’ that’ll push me away. Whatever it is we can get through it together. Partners.”
“I love you.” The words left Nicholas’s mouth almost before he realized what he was saying.
Danny smiled and squeezed his hands. “Yeah, and I love you too mate. You know that. But, that weren’t what you wanted tell me, is it? That’s not all you wanna say is it?”
Nicholas shook his head. “No.”
“Well then, c’mon. S’okay, Nick. You can say it.”
“I…” Nicholas began haltingly, so into the moment that he didn’t notice Danny’s use of his name. “I don’t just love you; I’m in… love with you.” He finished in a rush.
Danny’s smile grew even wider and his expression undeniably tender. “That weren’t so hard, was it?”
“No,” Nicholas agreed with the barest of headshakes, a motion lost amongst the quavering of his entire body, “that wasn’t so hard.”
“So, what happens next? D’ya think?”
Almost breathlessly, Nicholas said, “I think that Murtaugh would probably ask if he could kiss Riggs right about now.”
“Yeah,” Danny agreed with a long sigh, his voice nearly too soft to hear. “Yeah, I think he would.” He leaned across the small space that separated them. “Can I kiss you, then, Nick?”
Nicholas swallowed hard and then dipped his chin in a nod. “Yes, Danny.”
It was Nicholas who closed the last, small gap between their lips. He supposed the kiss could have been a soft and simple pressing of lips. He certainly knew that’s what he’d intended going in, but the feeling of Danny’s lips on his own and the soft hum of Danny’s exhale against his own ragged breath incited a much different reaction.
He pulled one hand from the tight grip that held them both, and threaded his fingers through Danny’s hair, pulling the other man closer and molding his lips against Danny’s. His tongue made a tentative little lick at the crease of Danny’s mouth and was swept away as Danny’s mouth parted expectantly. Nicholas angled his head, fiercely intensifying the kiss and their teeth clacked, and their tongues twined and intimately explored and he whimpered and shuddered while Danny moaned encouragingly.
The kiss went on for some time, during which Danny’s hands migrated to tightly grasp Nicholas’s shoulder and splay across his belly, while Nicholas fingers tightened in Danny’s hair and he kept one arm between them so he could curve his fingers around Danny’s jaw. When they finally broke apart, Nicholas lips left Danny’s but he pressed his forehead against the other mans. They were so close together that Danny’s dark eyes were just a blur.
“Danny,” Nicholas gasped, his voice strained. “It’s me. Murtaugh is me.”
“I know, Nick.” Danny nodded, the motion moving both of their heads in unison.
“And you were Riggs.”
Laughing gently, Danny drew his head away so he could look Nicholas in the eyes. “I know, Nicholas.”
“Oh.” He gave his own watery giggle. “Well, I suppose that was rather obvious, wasn’t it?”
Danny nodded. “Just a bit.” He seemed to weigh his next words rather carefully. “You okay with this, Nick?” he finally asked.
Nicholas gave the question the serious thought it merited. Was he okay with this? Things certainly hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. There’d been no careful conversations or weighty discussions. He hadn’t really even gotten the chance to come to terms with the fact that he’d just snogged his best, male friend. For once, Nicholas decided to take a page from Danny’s notebook. He skipped past all the thinking and analyzing and questions and went right to his gut and his heart to get their reactions. And they were both unequivocally telling him to go for it. So was his groin for that matter, Nicholas realized with a blush.
There would probably need to be at least a small amount of serious discussion about this change in their relationship, Nicholas knew, but that could wait until tomorrow. Tonight though, he wanted forget all of that and to keep feeling this amazing feeling and to keep kissing Danny. So he did. It was in between the tug on a bottom lip and the slick swipe of a tongue that he remembered to say, “I’m okay with this, by the way.”
Danny’s laugh vibrated against his ear as he replied, “Yeah, I kinda figured that.”
“Nick?” Danny said several minutes later when they were both catching their breath. “I’ve got somethin’ I need to tell ya.”
Drawing back, eyes narrowed in suspicion Nicholas asked, “What’s that, Danny?” For a moment he felt his whole body freeze, as if time had stopped the blood in his veins and the breath in his lungs. Was Danny having regrets, doubts, second thoughts?
Danny’s eyes flicked down to the coffee table, his cheeks pinking an even rosier shade. “Well, I have to tell ya, that I got a look at yer notebook last week.”
“What?” His eyes went wide and he sat back further. “You… when? What?”
“Yeah, it were right after you started actin’ so funny at the pub. I figured that sommat you wrote down had to be upsettin’ ya.” He canted his head to the side apologetically. “So I took a look at yer notebook while you were in the showers at the station.”
“You mean you knew? This whole time?”
The response was a sheepish shrug and nod.
Realization dawned on Nicholas’s face. “So the whole ‘Riggs and Murtaugh’ thing?”
Again Danny just shrugged, but there was the hint of a smirk playing at his lips. “Yeah. Thought that’d be a laugh.”
He almost smiled at that, it was just such a Danny thing to do. “But why didn’t you say something?” Nicholas asked instead; thinking of everything he’d put himself through over the past week.
“I figured ya needed to come up with the answer yourself, Nick.” Danny explained patiently. “I knew you’d want to get to the bottom of things and that we’d work through it together. I didn’t want to just scare you off.” Danny’s expression showed that he was waiting for anger or a rebuke.
“Danny,” Nicholas growled, but even that noise couldn’t hide the smile forcing its way across his lips. He practically pounced on the larger man, “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I needed to find out my own way.” He pressed a hungry kiss against the other man’s lips, then pulled back to say. “But, the next time you put me through something like this, I’m going to find myself in that situation of having to find a new partner because I’ll have strangled you.”
Snickering, Danny darted his mouth close to Nicholas’s. “Fair enough.” He agreed. “Now, where were we, Murtaugh?”
Nicholas pulled Danny close. “Right here, Riggs.” He answered, the last syllables getting lost in their kiss. And in between the pliant lips and the nipping teeth and the caressing tongues, Nicholas managed to mumble, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch Lethal Weapon with a straight face again.”
Author: skitz_phenom
Rating: PG
Fandom/Pairing: Hot Fuzz: Nicholas/Danny
Warning: Wee bit ‘o slash. If that offends, avert thine eyes.
Disclaimer: Hot Fuzz belongs to the Holy Trinity… I’m merely messing about and mean no offense, and will put things back the way I found them. Oh, and no copies of Lethal Weapon were harmed in the writing of this fic.
Word Count: 7,343(!)
Summary: Danny’s been acting strange and Nicholas is going to get to the bottom of things.
A/N: Good Christ this thing ran away with me. So much so that I’ve just barely finished in time and haven’t had a chance to get it beta’d. (Someday I’ll get the hang of punctuating dialogue). But, I got it done. That in itself is a-may-zing. Many thanks to canciona for organizing this challenge! You rock, hon.
Lyrics: Imagine, I'm in love with you, it's easy 'cos I know,
I've imagined I'm in love with you, many, many, many times before.
(from I'll Get You, off Past Masters, Volume I)
“Have you ever lost a partner?”
Nicholas Angel looked up from his notebook, setting the pen down beside it on the table next to his half-emptied pint. His forehead crinkled with puzzlement as he eyed his best mate across the scarred tabletop. It had been a long while since Danny had asked one of his ‘have you ever’ questions, and never one quite like this.
There was an habitual ‘No’ on his lips, a pat answer to the ‘Have you ever’ question (although in an ironic twist of fate, everyone one of those previous no’s had eventually become a yes); but, because it was Danny, and because they were long past those original days when he just wanted the bloody questions to stop, he stopped to think about it.
“Well, if you’re asking about whether or not I’ve ever had a partner killed in the line of duty? Then the answer is no.” He canted his head slightly, curious. “Is that what you’re asking?”
Danny shrugged in that loose-shouldered way he had. “Dunno. I ‘spose.” He paused a moment, seeming unsure, before adding, “But have you ever had a partner leave? Like if you didn’t want to work with him anymore, or there were problems or somethin’?”
Utterly perplexed by the reasons for these questions, it certainly was heavy conversation for a post-shift evening at the pub, Nicholas could only answer them honestly. “Well, yes I’ve had a partner leave. Three of them actually. One of them switched over to the mounted division so we didn’t work together any longer. Two requested transfers because they found me a bit difficult to work with.” He gave a self-deprecating little sniff and saw Danny’s hand, the one wrapped loosely around his mug, twitch. Almost as if it had been stopped in the act of reaching for him.
“They were idiots.” Danny protested. “You’re a great partner.”
“It was a long time ago,” Nicholas reassured him with a smile. “Doesn’t bother me anymore. What brought this up, anyway?” He asked, gently but curious.
“Oh,” Danny hurried to answer, “just something Doris and the Andes were talkin’ about. Got me to thinkin’.”
Nicholas frowned. Danny’s answer sounded legitimate enough, but the way in which he’d sputtered it out seemed unnatural or almost rehearsed. Perhaps not the truth then, he mused. He’d seen similar reactions when interrogating suspects who were trying to hide something from him. But what could Danny have to hide?
It wasn’t the first time in the past few days that Nicholas had asked himself that question. The younger man had been unusually reticent during work and off the clock as well. He’d even gone so far as to beg off of watching “Die Hard” the other evening. At the time Nicholas had believed his story that he was feeling a bit knackered after a day spent chasing the swan from one end of town to the other, but now he wondered if the truth lay in a different direction. There was something up with his partner, and Nicholas was going to get to the bottom of it.
Danny had suddenly become his next case. He needed to solve whatever it was that had his friend acting so out of sorts. Except that he didn’t quite know how to go about it. Something like this - sussing out the reason for his best mate’s mood - didn’t seem like the type of thing he could solve using the methods he normally would for an investigation. No, he’d need to use his feelings more than anything else. Emotional forensics, if he had to put a name to it.
The difficulty would be that Nick wasn’t exactly ‘in-touch’ with his emotions. At least, not as much as someone who wore them so openly on their sleeve, like Danny. Except that Danny wasn’t expressing himself as plainly as he normally did. There was something hidden and reserved in his manner; he’d rolled up those metaphorical sleeves for some reason.
Struck by a sudden thought he snatched for his pen and hurried to jot down his suspicions on a fresh page in his notebook.
“What you writing?” His partner asked, startling Nicholas into dropping the pen. In his rush to analyze, he’d forgotten that the target of his analysis was sitting across the table from him.
He gave a reassuring smile, “Oh, nothing much, Danny,” and flipped the notebook shut dismissively, “just had an idea about Marjorie Seller’s begonias.”
Danny seemed to buy that because he snorted in amusement. “Leave it to you, Nicholas, to get a wild thought about an elderly woman’s flower beds.” He shook his head, but continued to grin.
Chuckling as well, Nicholas replied, “That’s my cue to ‘switch off’ for today, isn’t it, Danny?”
The other man nodded. “Yeah, no police work over pints, remember?”
He echoed the nod. “Right you are, partner.” He gave Danny’s empty a pointed glance. “And it looks like you’re ready for another one. I’ll get this round.” As he stood up from the table he casually picked up the notebook and returned it to his pocket, then grabbed their empty glasses and headed for the bar.
Over the next few days Nicholas kept an eye on his partner, and when he got the opportunity, jotted down his observations. He noticed many more little oddities and altered behaviors than he’d expected, but wasn’t sure if that was because they were increasing or just that he was finally cognizant of them. And if the latter were true, he wondered just how long he’d been oblivious.
A Thursday evening, one week later, found Nicholas sitting at the tidy little table in his kitchen, his notebook and a bottle of lager both open in front of him. He stared down at the neat little rows of lines in his notebook, trying to make sense of them. Careful observations like: “10th March: Refused to visit pub.” clashed with a hastily scribbled “Had an extra Cornetto on shift.” But no matter how he tried to rearrange the different bits and pieces to read deeper, he just wasn’t coming to a logical conclusion.
The trouble, he decided, was that he needed Danny. He’d spent the last nine months bouncing all of his thoughts and ideas and wild hypothesis off of his partner, using the other man’s unique perspective to come up with the little missing bits and pieces that linked everything together. Where he delved too deep, Danny would skim the surface to find what he’s missed, when he couldn’t put the pieces together, Danny would come up with the connection that was needed, and when it took that small-town view versus his big-city background, he could always rely on Danny to provide it. It had been a heady realization to come too that he was no longer ‘solo’, that he was now part of a team. And what he needed to help him sort this out was the other half of that team.
Well that left him in a bit of a quandary, didn’t it? He couldn’t rightly ask Danny about his own ‘case’ could he? Thinking about it a bit longer, a second and third lager being put to rest as he studied the notes and considered, Nicholas couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason not to consult Danny. There was certainly nothing that said that Danny needed to be told all of the details. He could edit his notes to remove some of the more obvious remark or identifying data.
A smile picked at the corners of his mouth as he tore out a page from the notebook and began to recopy the salient points, carefully omitting anything that was too obviously ‘Danny’. Pen scratching at the blank sheet, Nicholas felt suddenly sure that he’d have his answers soon.
The following evening after their shift, Danny had declared that he wasn’t feeling up to the pub but had intimated that perhaps Nicholas might like to come over for some take-out and beer and shoot-em-up movies, to which Nicholas readily agreed. He’d already decided that the next time he and his partner got a chance to talk away from the station or the patrol car, or the noisy pub, he’d broach the subject of his little side-project.
Nicholas waited until the takeaway containers has been cleared away (by him) and they each had a fresh lager (courtesy of Danny) and the other man was fingering through his monstrous DVD collection trying to choose their entertainment for that evening.
“Hey, Danny?”
“Yeah?” The response came just a bit distracted as Danny mumbled and flipped and discarded title after title.
“I wanted to get your opinion on something.” He drew a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I’ve got some notes about a particular situation that I’ve been looking in to.”
Danny stopped his perusal and turned to look back at him with a peculiar expression. “You been working on something with out me?”
“Not exactly.” He shrugged. “It’s just something that one of the officers at the station has asked me to look into. It’s rather in confidence,” he hesitated slightly and saw Danny’s face being to fall, “but I don’t for one minute think that means I can’t discuss it with my partner.”
Danny just about literally beamed at that. If he’d had light bulbs in place of eyes, Nicholas would have been blinded. Even though he did feel a bit guilty of deceiving Danny, he was suddenly very glad he’d decided to come to him.
“So what’s this about then?” Danny asked, turning his back to movie shelves.
With a quick glance at his piece of paper, Nicholas explained, “Well, a certain person has asked me to look into the behavior of another certain person. You see, the first person…”
“Call ‘em Person A and Person B.” Danny broke in to suggest. “Easier to keep track of that way.”
Nicholas nodded in approval. “Right you are, Danny. So Person A…”
“Or wait,” Danny interrupted again, “call them Murtaugh and Riggs instead.” He grinned eagerly.
“Murtaugh and Riggs?”
“Yeah, you know, like in Lethal Weapon.” He went so far as to pull out the DVD from the shelf and waggle it.
“Yes, I know Danny.” He rolled his eyes slightly but nodded. “Alright, well Murtaugh,” Danny clapped his hands gleefully. “has noticed that Riggs hasn’t been himself lately. He’s been acting out of sorts, and it has Murtaugh concerned. He doesn’t know what’s causing Riggs to act this way and he asked me to see if I could find out.”
“I’ve been keeping any eye on him when the opportunity presents itself, especially when he’s interacting with other people. I’m beginning to suspect that Riggs’s behavior might be the result of an issue with another person.”
“Ohh, like he’s angry or upset at someone?”
He shrugged. “That’s just it, Danny. I’m not sure what the reason is.”
“Well you’ve got to look at it like any other case, yeah?”
Nicholas nodded.
“So, start with puttin’ together a list of suspects. Who does Riggs know, who does he spend time with, all that lot.” Danny was clearly enjoying the application of police investigational techniques to personal interest. He abandoned the DVD library and rejoined Nicholas on the couch. He pushed Nicholas’s notepad and pen back into hand and urged, “Go on, get writing.”
Dutifully, Nicholas put pen tip to paper and then looked at Danny expectantly.
“So, who does Riggs spend his time with?”
“Well, there’s Murtaugh of course.”
Danny nodded.
“Although…”
“Although what?”
Nicholas lowered the pen a moment. “Well, seeing as it’s Murtaugh who’s questioning Rigg’s behavior, do you think he should still be on the list?”
“Oh yeah.” Danny nodded again. “He’s your most likely suspect!”
Blinking, Nicholas asked, “He is?”
“Sure, why not? If Murtaugh is the one who’s worried about Riggs, he’s obviously a good mate and maybe since they’re good mates he’s too close to the situation to realize what’s going on. ‘S pretty obvious.” He scratched thoughtfully at his chin, completely oblivious to the fact that Nicholas was boggling at him. “But maybe too obvious. Who else’ve ya got?”
When Danny turned to him expectantly, Nicholas had his expression under control once more. Feeling as if he’d narrowly escaped something, but unsure of what, Nicholas hurried to outline his entire list of ‘suspects’, which basically boiled down to everyone at the station and people they knew from the pub, and half of the town for that matter.
“That’s a long list.” Danny observed once they were done going through it.
“Yes. Perhaps we’d do best to start narrowing it down.”
Frowning, Danny slid the noted book across the coffee table so he could see Nicholas’s notes for himself. “We’re goin’ about this the wrong way. I mean, we’ve got our list of suspects, but we need to figure out the ‘what’ of what’s bothering Riggs before we can figure out the ‘who’.”
“You’re right, Danny. Good call.” Nicholas agreed, and smiled as his partner flashed him a pleased grin. “Why don’t you take a look at my notes and see if you can come up with something.” He raised his hand to scrub a path through his close-cropped hair, letting it come to rest on the back of his neck. “I’ve been over them a dozen times and can’t seem to make heads or tails of it,” he admitted. “A fresh pair of eyes would be helpful.”
“Yeah, ‘course.” Danny gave an eager bob of his head, and then picked up the notebook. Nicholas watched him flip through the pages, smiling affectionately when Danny’s lips moved occasionally as he read. Every now and then he paused for a sip of his lager, or squinted in puzzlement at something Nicholas had written, and one time Nicholas thought for sure the game was up as the other man gave a wry head shake followed by a chuckle.
When he set the notebook down on the table next to his empty can, Nicholas couldn’t help but ask, “Well? What do you think? Any ideas?”
Danny was silent a moment, his lips pursed in thought. Finally after giving Nicholas a furtive, sideward glance he said; “Seems to me like Riggs might have feelings for someone that he’s not sure how to deal with. Maybe he fancies someone, but he’s struggling with it and that’s why he’s keeping it so close? Maybe that’s why Murtaugh doesn’t know what’s goin’ on.”
“So,” Nicholas nodded his head, following along Danny’s path of discovery, “you’re saying that maybe he’s in love, but doesn’t know how to tell the person, or anyone for that matter?” When Danny nodded, Nicholas felt all the breath go out of him.
Danny was in love? But with who? And why did Nicholas stomach suddenly feel that same floor-dropping, nauseating sensation he’d felt only on two other occasions: the first when he’d thought that Danny had betrayed him for the NWA, and the second when Danny had jumped in front of a firing blunderbuss.
Hoping that his face didn’t project the sudden and peculiar despair, Nicholas carefully pushed ahead. “Well, I could definitely concede the possibility.” He tapped the pen against his table edge. “But with who?”
“Well,” Danny speculated, “it has to be someone that Riggs spends a-lot of time with, doesn’t it?” Nicholas nodded. “And it’s probably someone who doesn’t have a clue how Riggs feels.”
“Why do you think that?”
With a scoffing noise as if to say ‘isn’t it obvious?’ Danny explained, “Well, if our suspect knew how Riggs felt, it wouldn’t be buggin’ Riggs so much, would it?” His eyes widened. “Unless, this person knows how Riggs feels, but doesn’t feel the same way.”
“That’s a possibility.” Nicholas conceded. “But, I don’t think that Riggs is acting like he’s been rebuked.”
“No, you’re right, Nick.” He tapped the pad of paper. “From the way he’s been acting it’s more like he’s got something to hide.”
“But why would he, Riggs, want to hide the fact that he’s in love? What good would that do?”
Danny shrugged, “I dunno. Maybe Riggs doesn’t want the person to find out cuz he’s afraid of what they’ll say?” He looked away then, past Nicholas and towards the window. “Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin a friendship or sommat like that?”
“Oh,” Nicholas breathed, feeling a stab of despair for his friend. “I hadn’t even considered that, Danny. You’re right. Maybe there’s a reason he’s hiding his feelings? Maybe he’s afraid of what the other person will say.” He gave a puzzled frown. “Or maybe he’s afraid of what everyone else will say?”
“What’dya mean?”
“I don’t know for sure, Danny, but maybe he’s worried about upsetting people.” He spread his hands. “What if there’s something about the person he’s in love with… maybe it’s someone who’s married…?” He trailed off in his speculation, trying to work the new thought in with the old. The thought that Danny might be in love with a married woman made him feel even worse for some reason.
“Could be because it’s ‘taboo’.” He used finger quotes on the latter.
Nicholas turned a puzzled expression to his partner. “What do you mean? What would be taboo?”
“Oh my God!” Danny exclaimed suddenly, turning to Nicholas with an animated grin. “It’s the Andes, isn’t it?”
“What?” Nicholas spluttered.
“The Andes! That’s who this is about. Riggs is one of the Andes!”
“No.” He hurried to deny that wild speculation, “No… ‘Riggs’ isn’t one of the Andes.” Then he looked back down at his notes and raised a brow. “Although, now that you mention it, it very well could describe them, couldn’t it?” He snickered. “Well I’ll be damned.”
“Yeah,” Danny laughed, “now we can call ‘em on all the time that they called us benders. Tell ‘em that they’re only callin’ us benders to hide the fact that they’re benders.”
Nicholas bobbed his head, smiling agreeably, but his mind was already churning. He hadn’t considered that Danny might be interested in a man. In fact, he’d never really considered what his friend’s predilections might be. Danny was just always, well, Danny. He supposed he’d never thought of it for the same reason he never thought of Danny with a woman. He just didn’t ever like to think of Danny with anyone at all: didn’t like the thought that someone could come between their partnership or their camaraderie or their friendship. But, adding the variable of ‘blokes’ to the equation he was trying to solve certainly led to a whole plethora of different outcomes.
Dropping his eyes back down to the paper in his hand, Nicholas looked over his list of ‘clues’ armed with this new knowledge. It was definitely possible that if Danny was in love with a man, he might be acting so strangely out of fear of discovery. Not even because of public opinions, but what if this fellow didn’t go for blokes? He could certainly understand Danny wanting to keep his feelings to himself out of fear. It could be a big risk if he were to admit how he felt. It could mean an uncomfortable working environment or the end of a friendship or the severing of a partnership.
That thought struck a chord and Danny’s question from several days ago in the pub popped into Nicholas’s mind. He’d seemed worried about their partnership ending for some reason, hadn’t he? Did Danny think that he wouldn’t be his friend or care for him anymore if he found out? What other reason could Danny have for worrying about losing him as a partner?
Suddenly, with a snap like the last piece being fitted into a puzzle, everything clicked in his mind. He could finally see the whole picture - could finally fit it all together and follow the logical progression of his findings and see where the evidence was leading. For just a few minutes his list of suspects had more than doubled, and then was instantly, unequivocally narrowed down to just one: himself.
Nicholas stared, unseeing, at the scribbling on the page for many long minutes as he tried to process that revelation. It was Danny’s soft and concerned, “Hey,” that finally drew his attention back to the present and he looked over to see the other man staring at him in concern.
“Didn’t mean nothin’ by it,” he was saying, and Nicholas realized that Danny thought he’d offended him with his remarks about the Andes and being called ‘benders’.
He waved a hand dismissively and gave a tight grin. “No, it’s fine Danny. I was just thinking of something else for a moment. But you’re right,” he chuckled half-heartedly, “you’re right; the Andes would do well to learn that turnabout is fair play.”
He gave another halting smile. “Oh, but look here.” Nicholas gestured to the coffee table where his and Danny’s lager cans sat empty. “Detective work is thirsty work.” He practically leapt up from the couch. “I’ll get us another round.” And he hurried into the kitchen before Danny had a chance to reply.
In the safety of the kitchen, Nicholas went to the fridge and wrapped his fingers around the handle, but didn’t open it. He leaned his forehead against its cool surface. What was he going to do? His partner, his best mate, hell, the person he was closest to in the whole world, was in love with him. Had been in love with him for some time if the evidence trail could be believed. So what was he to do now?
Pulling away from the fridge, Nicholas sighed. He couldn’t deal with the immediacy of everything and though he felt like a complete prat, he knew the best thing to do would be to leave. He needed to get away and clear his head and absorb and analyze and assimilate this new knowledge.
Busying himself with the task of getting a lager out of the fridge, Nicholas tried very hard not to think of anything at all just now. But his mind was traitorous and even as he carried the beverage back into Danny’s living room, the new and scary thoughts threatened to overwhelm him again.
As he handed Danny the chilly can, his friend looked up to see the he didn’t have a matching one for himself. “Ain’t you drinkin?”
Nicholas shook his head. “No, I’m not. Listen, Danny. I uh… I’ve got some paperwork back at the station that I forgot about. I needed to get it done for tomorrow…” Good Christ, if that wasn’t the worst lie he’d ever come up with. He might as well have said that he had to go water his peace lily for all the subtly he’d employed. “I’m sorry. Can we rain check on the movie?”
“But what about the case…” Danny looked up at him with confusion and growing hurt on his face. “I thought…”
“I know, Danny. I’m sorry.” At least that was the truth, Nicholas thought bitterly. He certainly was sorry. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Uh, yeah. ‘Spose.” He looked for a moment like he wanted to say more, but thankfully he simply gave a curt little nod. “G’night, Nick.”
“’Night, Danny.”
Feeling like quite the coward, Nicholas fled. He grabbed his coat and was out the door before his friend had the chance to stop him. Outside, he turned first in the direction of his cottage, then changed his mind and struck out the opposite way, his path aimless. The brisk night air slapped at his face as he strode down the street, but Nicholas walked on oblivious to its chilly edge.
Nicholas knew, without conceit, that he was sharp and smart and observant. His career in the service bespoke these abilities quite aptly. It was the worst kind of irony that he’d been dull and dumb and blind when it came to something so obvious and so desperately important. He supposed he shouldn’t beat himself up too badly; after all, he’d never been very good at dealing with emotions and feelings. Even still, the fact that he’d been so blind to what was, in hindsight, glaringly obvious made him feel quite foolish.
While his wandering took him purposelessly down the nearly deserted Sandford streets, he thought back through the past several months and all the time that he and Danny had spent together. One thing he had to admit was that if Danny had been in love with him the whole time, it really hadn’t changed anything. They’d still had all the fun they had, and worked together like clockwork and enjoyed all the movies and the dinners and the nights at the pub. Nothing had changed that. It was only his new awareness of Danny’s feelings that was impacting their friendship, and that wasn’t fair to Danny.
The problem was that Nicholas didn’t know how to be fair to Danny. His feelings were just so far outside the realm of what Nicholas knew how to deal with. Since he’d come to Sandford he’d never even considered a relationship with anyone. At first it was because he was intending to leave as soon as possible, and then because of everything that occurred with the NWA as well as the aftermath, and once all that dust settled it was simply because he didn’t want anything to upset the status quo. He liked his life just the way it was. And it wasn’t necessarily the gender aspect that freaked him out the most, although if he were honest with himself, that was a factor, it was the fact that in the past his relationships had been very simple and he knew how to handle them.
Jeanine had been ‘right’. She’d fit into the neat little equation that his life had been. She was the appropriate woman for him to be with; pretty, career-driven, smart, the epitome of a successful man’s girlfriend. That’s why he’d even discussed marrying her. Nicholas snorted derisively. Discussed. There’d been no sweeping declaration, no grand gestures; just a simple, frank discussion in which he’d weighed all the pros and cons of their being married.
Nick scoffed aloud, his breath steaming into the crisp and chilly evening. God, he really was a twat sometimes, wasn’t he?
Danny was a completely different story, however. Danny didn’t fit anywhere into his neat, organized, compartmentalized life. In fact, it was thanks to Danny that he’d finally broken free of those confinements. His days were no longer full of dull routine and stale, sameness; and, while he still kept up some of his old habits and schedules - because he still found a morning run to be the best way to start the day - Danny never let them consume him. His mate had a knack for knowing exactly when to suggest a stop at the shop for a Cornetto, or which days at the station necessitated a few pints at the pub, versus those that called for a quieter evening of carry-out and action movies in the comfort of his cottage or Danny’s flat.
It was funny now that he thought about it, but the things he got from his partner, the things their relationship provided, were the kinds of things he’d always assumed would follow if he and Jeanine had been married. Easy camaraderie and simple understanding and endearing patience; things he’d been missing without even realizing. Little things. Like when he’d had a bad day and went off to water his peace lily, Jeanine had rolled her eyes at him, but Danny followed after and asked about temperature of the water he used, and if plant food was good for lilies and if he could give the spray-mister a try. Little things, but important things nonetheless. Hell, he and Danny were more like a couple than any couple he knew!
Kicking at a loose stone, Nicholas sighed. The real questions that he had to answer for himself was not if he could love Danny, because he already loved his partner and best friend more than he even realized, but whether or not he could be in love with Danny. The latter question brought with it all the complications of gender and the impact on their friendship and even work-related issues of supervisor and subordinate.
Once again, Nicholas found himself floundering. This was yet another one of those situations where he wanted - no needed - his partner’s input. It was downright bloody terrifying to realize just how much he’d come to rely on the other man. Yet, at the same time, Nicholas found it surprisingly freeing and easy and right. And it was that feeling, that absolute faith, which made him decide again to seek out Danny for his help and guidance. He knew with absolute certainty that they could work this out together.
Nicholas stumbled to a halt, mid-stride and glanced around blinking, like a sleepwalker just waking. It took him a few minutes to realize where he was, but once he got his bearings he turned right around and headed back for Danny’s.
By the time Nicholas got back to Danny’s house it was after midnight and all the lights were dark. He almost stopped before knocking, knuckles poised inches from the door, but then swallowed hard and rapped on the door. He’d faced down an entire crazed town-council armed with automatic weapons, how hard could it be to face his partner armed with his feelings? It took a few minutes, and a bit more insistent knocking, but Nicholas finally saw the windows brighten, first one he knew to be a living room lamp, and then the one near the door. A few moments after that, Danny opened the door. He looked sleep-tousled and blearily puzzled.
“Nicholas? What you doin’ here?”
“I needed to talk to you, Danny. Can I come in?”
Danny scrubbed a hand through hair that looked as if it had achieved its styling against the arm of the couch. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled, backing up to step aside and let the other man in.
They settled on the couch, which was still warm from Danny have slept there. It surprised Nicholas to find how good it felt to settle into those rumpled, body-warmed cushions. “You slept on the couch?” He asked, which wasn’t what he’d wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite bring himself around to that yet.
Danny glanced around and gave a sleepy shrug. “Yeah, dozed off on the couch. Didn’t feel like getting’ up. Weren’t tired for awhile after you left so I watched some telly. Guess I just nodded off.”
“Oh.” Nicholas replied, mentally fumbling with the best way to proceed.
“So what’re you doin’ here, Nicholas?” Danny asked before he could finish gathering his thoughts. The younger man’s expression might have been wary or it might have just been lingering sleepiness causing the narrowing around his eyes.
“Well, you see, Danny.” He paused to rummage through his coat pocket. Drawing out his note book, he flipped it open.
Danny sighed. “So, this is about the case then?” He asked and this time Nicholas knew he wasn’t imagining the disappointment.
“Yeah,” he agreed, “it’s about the case.”
As he watched, Danny made a visible effort to rally himself and feign enthusiasm. Nicholas felt a pang in the center of his chest as the other man sat up straighter and tried to sound chipper as he asked, “Alright, so what ya got?”
He flipped through the notebook to find the page where he’d made his latest observations. “Well, I think I’ve narrowed down our suspect.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, and I’ve had a bit of a talk with him to try to suss out how he feels about this other bloke… I mean about Riggs.”
“So it’s a bloke then?” Danny asked, tone betraying nothing other than curiosity.
Nicholas nodded a trifle sheepishly. “Right, which was one of the factors I hadn’t fully considered. But, I did a little digging and came up with the answer.”
“So,” Danny asked, this time with just a tint of eagerness coloring the curiosity. “What does this bloke think about all this then? Did you tell him what you think is goin’ on with Riggs?”
“Yeah, he knows. And, well, he was quite shocked.”
“Well, that’s no surprise.” He gave a wry smile. “Some pretty big news to be hit with, I imagine.”
“Yes, it certainly was…I mean would be.” Hastily, Nicholas added. “So what do you think?”
“I think someone ought to get these blokes to sit down and talk to each other.” Danny declared. “That’s what I think.”
“Yes, well it’s a delicate subject. It might not be easy to get them to open up.”
“That’s true.” Scooting closer on the couch, Danny turned to face Nicholas. “I’ve an idea. Let’s go through it, shall we? Sort of, act it out to see how it might go. Then you’ll have some better advice to give this bloke.”
“You mean, like role-playing?” Nicholas pursed his lips. Acting out situations was certainly well within the police repertoire. Certain dangerous circumstances, like hostage encounters, could only be adequately trained in through skillfully staged scenarios and reenactments. He nodded. “Alright.”
Danny gestured between them with a hand. “You be Murtaugh and I’ll be Riggs.”
Nicholas’s eyes narrowed. “How did you know it was Murtaugh?”
Danny shrugged, wearing a peculiar grin. “Ah, I figured it out earlier, after you left. Just seemed to make the most sense.” The grin grew even odder. “Murtaugh was just blind to what was goin’ on right in front of him.” He shook his head mock-sadly. “Poor daft bugger.”
“Yes, well.” Nicholas tried very hard not to take that personally. “I’m sure he’s beating himself up enough, no need to criticize.”
Danny ignored that. “Okay, so you’re Murtaugh and I’m Riggs. Pretend that I’m in love with you. Tell me what you’d say.”
“Alright. Well…”
“Wait,” Danny interrupted. “Aint’ ya gonna take my hand or anything?” He gave yet another sad shake of his head. “This Murtaugh bloke ain’t much of a romantic.”
Rolling his eyes, Nicholas reached out to take hold of one of Danny’s hands. It surprised him to feel that one of them was trembling. He was almost certain it was himself. “Better?”
Danny nodded.
“Alright. So, Danny…”
“No, no, no.” The other man broke in yet again. “I’m Riggs, remember.”
Face having drained to pasty whiteness as he realized what he’d almost revealed, Nicholas nodded. “Right.” He swallowed noisily. “Right, Riggs.” He drew in a breath and then frowned. “Wait a minute. If I’m Murtaugh and you’re Riggs, shouldn’t you be starting this conversation?”
“What d’ya mean?”
“What do you mean, ‘what do I mean’? It’s Riggs who’s in love with Murtaugh, right?” Danny inclined his head in agreement, and Nicholas deliberately looked past the weirdness of the conversation to make his point. “So, shouldn’t Riggs be professing that undying affection?”
Danny shook his head. “Nah, see Riggs might well be in love with Murtaugh, but he doesn’t know that Murtaugh knows that he’s in love with him. Riggs has obviously been keeping these feelings to himself for a long while, so he’d have no reason to bring them up.” He waggled a finger on the hand that was not currently being held by Nicholas. “But Murtaugh has just found out that his best mate is in love with him, right? So, he’s got to be the one to start the conversation.”
Raising an eyebrow, Nicholas tried to follow his logic, and somehow succeeded. “Well, when you put it that way…” He turned in his seat to face the dark haired man a bit more directly. Obviously attempts to forestall the conversation would be deflected, so once again he took a very deep, very unsteady breath. “Right, well, here we go then.”
“Riggs,” He said quite pointedly in a steady, tolerant tone equivalent to the one he used when dealing with little old ladies and small children. “It has come to my attention that…” He broke off yet again as Danny threw both hands up in the air with an exasperated noise. “What?! What did I do wrong this time?”
“C’mon, mate.” Danny urged. “If Murtaugh just found out that Riggs was in love with him, d’ya think he’d say something so daft?” He mimicked Nicholas’s sober voice. “’It has come to my attention’, blah blah blah.” Nicholas flushed as Danny shook his head, “No way. He’d… well, he’d do it more like this.” And with that, Danny took hold of both of Nicholas’s hands, clasping them tightly. He leaned forward and stared deeply into Nicholas’s eyes.
“Look, Riggs.” He began in an impassioned voice, “You and me, we been mates for a long time, yeah? Had each others backs through thick and thin. And you know there ain’t nothing you can’t tell me or nothing you can’t come to me about right?”
Caught up, Nicholas could only nod.
“So, c’mon, mate. Talk to me.” He implored. “There’s nothing can stop me from bein’ your best mate. Nothin’ that’ll push me away. Whatever it is we can get through it together. Partners.”
“I love you.” The words left Nicholas’s mouth almost before he realized what he was saying.
Danny smiled and squeezed his hands. “Yeah, and I love you too mate. You know that. But, that weren’t what you wanted tell me, is it? That’s not all you wanna say is it?”
Nicholas shook his head. “No.”
“Well then, c’mon. S’okay, Nick. You can say it.”
“I…” Nicholas began haltingly, so into the moment that he didn’t notice Danny’s use of his name. “I don’t just love you; I’m in… love with you.” He finished in a rush.
Danny’s smile grew even wider and his expression undeniably tender. “That weren’t so hard, was it?”
“No,” Nicholas agreed with the barest of headshakes, a motion lost amongst the quavering of his entire body, “that wasn’t so hard.”
“So, what happens next? D’ya think?”
Almost breathlessly, Nicholas said, “I think that Murtaugh would probably ask if he could kiss Riggs right about now.”
“Yeah,” Danny agreed with a long sigh, his voice nearly too soft to hear. “Yeah, I think he would.” He leaned across the small space that separated them. “Can I kiss you, then, Nick?”
Nicholas swallowed hard and then dipped his chin in a nod. “Yes, Danny.”
It was Nicholas who closed the last, small gap between their lips. He supposed the kiss could have been a soft and simple pressing of lips. He certainly knew that’s what he’d intended going in, but the feeling of Danny’s lips on his own and the soft hum of Danny’s exhale against his own ragged breath incited a much different reaction.
He pulled one hand from the tight grip that held them both, and threaded his fingers through Danny’s hair, pulling the other man closer and molding his lips against Danny’s. His tongue made a tentative little lick at the crease of Danny’s mouth and was swept away as Danny’s mouth parted expectantly. Nicholas angled his head, fiercely intensifying the kiss and their teeth clacked, and their tongues twined and intimately explored and he whimpered and shuddered while Danny moaned encouragingly.
The kiss went on for some time, during which Danny’s hands migrated to tightly grasp Nicholas’s shoulder and splay across his belly, while Nicholas fingers tightened in Danny’s hair and he kept one arm between them so he could curve his fingers around Danny’s jaw. When they finally broke apart, Nicholas lips left Danny’s but he pressed his forehead against the other mans. They were so close together that Danny’s dark eyes were just a blur.
“Danny,” Nicholas gasped, his voice strained. “It’s me. Murtaugh is me.”
“I know, Nick.” Danny nodded, the motion moving both of their heads in unison.
“And you were Riggs.”
Laughing gently, Danny drew his head away so he could look Nicholas in the eyes. “I know, Nicholas.”
“Oh.” He gave his own watery giggle. “Well, I suppose that was rather obvious, wasn’t it?”
Danny nodded. “Just a bit.” He seemed to weigh his next words rather carefully. “You okay with this, Nick?” he finally asked.
Nicholas gave the question the serious thought it merited. Was he okay with this? Things certainly hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. There’d been no careful conversations or weighty discussions. He hadn’t really even gotten the chance to come to terms with the fact that he’d just snogged his best, male friend. For once, Nicholas decided to take a page from Danny’s notebook. He skipped past all the thinking and analyzing and questions and went right to his gut and his heart to get their reactions. And they were both unequivocally telling him to go for it. So was his groin for that matter, Nicholas realized with a blush.
There would probably need to be at least a small amount of serious discussion about this change in their relationship, Nicholas knew, but that could wait until tomorrow. Tonight though, he wanted forget all of that and to keep feeling this amazing feeling and to keep kissing Danny. So he did. It was in between the tug on a bottom lip and the slick swipe of a tongue that he remembered to say, “I’m okay with this, by the way.”
Danny’s laugh vibrated against his ear as he replied, “Yeah, I kinda figured that.”
“Nick?” Danny said several minutes later when they were both catching their breath. “I’ve got somethin’ I need to tell ya.”
Drawing back, eyes narrowed in suspicion Nicholas asked, “What’s that, Danny?” For a moment he felt his whole body freeze, as if time had stopped the blood in his veins and the breath in his lungs. Was Danny having regrets, doubts, second thoughts?
Danny’s eyes flicked down to the coffee table, his cheeks pinking an even rosier shade. “Well, I have to tell ya, that I got a look at yer notebook last week.”
“What?” His eyes went wide and he sat back further. “You… when? What?”
“Yeah, it were right after you started actin’ so funny at the pub. I figured that sommat you wrote down had to be upsettin’ ya.” He canted his head to the side apologetically. “So I took a look at yer notebook while you were in the showers at the station.”
“You mean you knew? This whole time?”
The response was a sheepish shrug and nod.
Realization dawned on Nicholas’s face. “So the whole ‘Riggs and Murtaugh’ thing?”
Again Danny just shrugged, but there was the hint of a smirk playing at his lips. “Yeah. Thought that’d be a laugh.”
He almost smiled at that, it was just such a Danny thing to do. “But why didn’t you say something?” Nicholas asked instead; thinking of everything he’d put himself through over the past week.
“I figured ya needed to come up with the answer yourself, Nick.” Danny explained patiently. “I knew you’d want to get to the bottom of things and that we’d work through it together. I didn’t want to just scare you off.” Danny’s expression showed that he was waiting for anger or a rebuke.
“Danny,” Nicholas growled, but even that noise couldn’t hide the smile forcing its way across his lips. He practically pounced on the larger man, “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I needed to find out my own way.” He pressed a hungry kiss against the other man’s lips, then pulled back to say. “But, the next time you put me through something like this, I’m going to find myself in that situation of having to find a new partner because I’ll have strangled you.”
Snickering, Danny darted his mouth close to Nicholas’s. “Fair enough.” He agreed. “Now, where were we, Murtaugh?”
Nicholas pulled Danny close. “Right here, Riggs.” He answered, the last syllables getting lost in their kiss. And in between the pliant lips and the nipping teeth and the caressing tongues, Nicholas managed to mumble, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch Lethal Weapon with a straight face again.”