fic: flood the skies and blur the darkness (3/3)
The afternoon was spent watching movies and eating junk food (or well, Finn and Blaine were eating the junk food. Kurt was content eating his vegetable and pita chips thank you very much).
Blaine asked about McKinley, about their glee club and how Finn and Rachel got together.
“I know at first I was pretty mean to her but, I dunno man, I guess I saw the light. And now I’m in love with her.”
Finn just shrugged and Rachel leaned into his side, Finn’s arm instantly wrapping around her shoulders.
“Hey, I’m cool with it. As long as you don’t hurt her. Because then I’ll have to hurt you.”
Finn nodded, knowing very well that Blaine was completely serious.
“So, how about you Blaine? You have a boyfriend or whatever?”
Kurt froze on the couch next to Rachel, heart stuttering before beginning to pump in over time.
“I uh, well…no. Not, not exactly. No.”
And just like that the beating ceased, Kurt’s heart practically plummeting into his stomach.
How could he be so stupid? How the fuck could he believe that Blaine actually wanted to be with him? He was nothing, just a stupid kid who was there, who was convenient.
He was pretty sure he was gonna be sick.
“I-I…excuse me.”
And just like that Kurt was moving, chip bag falling off of his lap as he scrambled to get off the couch and he ran up the stairs.
“Kurt? Kurt, wait!”
He heard Blaine calling after him but he couldn’t stop. He ran into Rachel’s room and grabbed all of this things together, tears blurring his vision as he roughly tugged on his jacket, “Stupid stupid stupid stupid” tumbling out of his mouth over and over.
“Kurt, please, what’re you-”
“Stay the hell away from me Blaine!”
Blaine froze before closing the door behind him, carefully walking closer.
“Kurt, please.”
“No. What? I was just a quick fuck to you? A warm body to have next to you while you’re away from college?”
“What? Kurt, no, you know that’s not what this is about! You know I care about you!”
“No, you don’t! Otherwise when Finn asked you if you were with someone, you would have said yes.”
Blaine groaned and ran a hand through his hair roughly, “And what was I gonna say Kurt?! ‘Yeah, I’m with someone. It’s your little brother. Oh yeah Rach, it’s your best friend too. Sorry for keeping it a secret.’ I couldn’t do that, Kurt! It’s just…it’s not the right time.”
“You know what, screw that Blaine. I’m not gonna be your secret anymore, I refuse to be. I’m…I’m done with whatever the fuck this is between us, okay.”
“Kurt…”
“Don’t.”
And just like that Kurt was shoving past him and wrenching the door open, walking down the steps quickly and was out the door, leaving Finn and Rachel watching in a stunned silence.
“I should uh…”
Rachel nodded and kissed Finn goodbye, walking him out the door and watching as he drove off. Once he was gone she closed the door and stared at the steps before making her way up them, determined to figure out what the hell just happened.
**
Blaine slammed his bedroom door shut roughly and growled out in frustration, hands clawing into his hair and pulling.
He made his way over to his bed and collapsed on it, elbows on his knees and face in his hands.
He fucked up.
Big time.
And now there was a good chance he lost Kurt forever because he was so fucking stupid.
There was a knock on his door and Rachel poked her head in, “Blaine?”
“Go away, Rachel.”
Instead she walked in all the way, closing the door behind her and moving to sit next to him on the bed, hand hesitating for a moment before resting on his shoulder, “What happened, Blaine?”
Blaine stayed quiet but he didn’t shrug her hand off. She was about to ask again when he spoke, words quiet and muffled into his hands.
“I think I’m in love with Kurt.”
Rachel gasped and then her hand flew off his shoulder, covering her own mouth, her eyes wide. Blaine pulled his head up to look at her, his eyes rimmed red.
“Are you…you’re serious.”
It wasn’t a question.
Blaine nodded before speaking again, eyes down “And I’m pretty sure I just fucked it all up and lost him for good.”
When Rachel didn’t answer he looked up, his eyes pleading, “Rach, please don’t be mad. I know he’s your best friend and I’m your brother and it’s weird but I…I want to be with him. No one’s ever made me feel the way Kurt does and we only didn’t tell you because we didn’t want to upset you and-”
“Blaine, stop. I’m…I’m not mad. Shocked, maybe. But not mad.”
Blaine closed his mouth and nodded, running a hand through his hair.
“Besides, I’m dating Kurt’s brother so it’d be kind of hypocritical for me to be upset over this.”
“They’re not biological, Rach.”
“Do you want me to be upset over this?”
Blaine shook his head, sighing.
“He just…I only told Finn I didn’t have a boyfriend because I didn’t think that that was the best time for you guys to find out about us. But it hurt Kurt and now he thinks I don’t care about him and god, I’ve never care more for a person, Rachel. And I don’t know how to make him see that I don’t think he’s just a quick fuck, that he is so much more than that…”
“Okay, one,” Rachel started, holding up a finger, “I said I was okay with you guys being together. That doesn’t mean I’m okay with knowing about your sex lives. I’d rather not know anything about that. Two, not all hope is lost.”
Blaine’s face scrunched in confusion and he turned his body to face her fully, ready to do whatever it took to get Kurt back.
**
Kurt spent the rest of the day locked in his room, refusing to speak to anyone. He didn’t even come out for dinner. He only came out when it was late at night, unable to sleep and starving.
He ate quickly and went back up to his room, his eyes sore and puffy from crying.
He still couldn’t believe how stupid he was, how naïve. Blaine was 21 and was in college and he was gorgeous. He could have any guy he wanted, so why the hell would he want the scrawny kid from back home?
He hated himself for believing Blaine’s words and he hated himself for even liking Blaine in the first place.
He fell into a fitful sleep when the sky started turning gray.
**
It was the next day, New Year’s Eve, and Kurt just wanted to spend it wallowing in self-pity, maybe watch the ball drop on his laptop while he ate a pint of ice cream (He figured he deserved a little self-indulgence. Just this once)
But instead of getting what he wanted, Finn and Rachel cornered him, taking away his laptop and forcing him up and into the shower.
“Noah’s having a New Year’s Eve party, you will be going, and that’s that.”
That’s all Rachel said to him before practically throwing him into the bathroom.
He had no idea what she did and didn’t know, but he assumed she couldn’t know much because well, wouldn’t she be verbally ripping him a new one if she found out about him and Blaine?
Kurt sighed and begrudgingly did as he was told, showering quickly and returning to his room fifteen minutes later to see new sheets on his bed and two outfits laid out on top of it.
“Pick one to wear and be downstairs in an hour.”
He knew he had no choice. He knew they were not above dragging him to the party kicking and screaming wearing only the briefs and socks he had on now. So he sighed and nodded, glancing at the two outfits before picking one, mildly impressed that Rachel actually picked out good choices for him to wear.
He was downstairs in a little over an hour, clothes smoothed down and hair perfect (Just because he didn’t want to go didn’t mean he wasn’t going to look his best).
It was almost 10pm when the three of them got to Puck’s house, the party already well underway.
Sam and Mercedes were in a corner, heads low and close together, both smiling while talking. Santana and Mike were in a heated battle of Beer Pong while Brittany danced around the table with a ribbon dancer.
All the other members of New Directions were scattered around the room, some drinking others dancing, and Puck yelled in greeting when the three of them arrived, causing everyone to stop and call out their hellos as well.
Finn and Rachel instantly went off together and Kurt was suddenly alone.
He mentally calculated the distance between Puck’s house and his and tried to figure out how long it would take to walk back and if he would freeze or not on the trip.
A drink was suddenly thrust into his hands and he looked up to see Puck walking away before looking down at the cup.
He honestly had no idea what was in it. But so what.
He could drink it. He could drown away his miseries for the night; forget everything for a few blissful hours.
Instead he dropped the cup in the garbage and went to go watch his friends play.
**
It was 11:59 and all of his friends were grouped together, surrounding the tv.
Everyone was coupled off and grinning, counting down loudly with the announcer on the screen.
10
9
8
7
Kurt had never wanted to crawl into a hole and die more than at that very moment.
Yesterday he had that. He had someone to hold on to and to smile at. He had someone he could have kissed at midnight.
Instead he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for the ball to drop so he could lock himself in the bathroom for the rest of the night.
6
5
4
He screwed it, he screwed everything up. This was all his fault, he deserved feeling like shit.
3
2
1
“Happy New Year!” Everyone around him was cheering and laughing and kissing and then suddenly he was being turned around, hands were on his face and he was being kissed.
At first he was frozen, ready to pull away, but then it hit him: the scent of cologne and mint and Blaine.
As soon as it happened it ended, and Blaine was pulling his lips away.
“H-how-”
“You deserve a New Year’s kiss, Kurt. You deserve everything. But you don’t deserve me; you deserve so so much better…yet here I am, in front of all your friends, everyone you love, begging for you to forgive me and take me back.”
It was then that Kurt realized where they were and who they were with. He felt their eyes on him, could practically hear their questioning thoughts, but then all his attention focused on the person in front of him.
“I want to be with you, Kurt. I want…I want you to be my boyfriend. I want you to be the first person I think of in the morning and that last person I talk to before going to bed. I want us to hug and kiss and cry. I want us to fight and then make up. I want to be yours Kurt, and I really want nothing more than to call you mine.”
Kurt could feel his eyes stinging, the pressure building just behind them and his hands shook at his sides.
“Why.”
Blaine bit his lip, his eyes searching Kurt’s.
“Tell me why, Blaine.” He asked again, voice shaking.
“Because…because I love you.”
There were a few gasps around the room but Kurt couldn’t care because suddenly he was crying and was throwing himself into Blaine’s chest and Blaine’s arms were wrapping around him, holding him close.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Blaine kept repeating it. Saying it into his hair and before and after each kiss he planted on Kurt’s hair and his ear, kissing his eyelid and cheek before pulling Kurt’s face up.
“I love you, Kurt. I love you and I want to be with you.”
Kurt could only nod and then Blaine’s lips were on his again.
“I love you so much.” Kurt finally managed to choke out and Blaine laughed, eyes shining with unshed tears.
He was about to kiss Kurt again before a voice broke them up, “Okay Hummel, I think you’ve nauseated us enough with your cuteness for one evening. You and your boy can stop hogging the attention now.”
Kurt looked over to Santana, ready to yell at her, but then he saw her face, saw that she was smiling at him. He looked around and saw all his friends smiling at him, all looking genuinely happy for him. Especially Rachel.
“Rach, I-”
“Save it, Kurt. Who else do you think planned for him to come in and kiss you right at midnight?”
Kurt smiled at her before turning back to Blaine, leaning in to kiss him softly.
“Come with me.”
Blaine nodded and tangled his fingers with Kurt’s following him out of the room.
“Yeah! Get it, Kurt!”
Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck’s shout and walked them up the stairs and out of the basement.
They went to the kitchen and Kurt leaned against the counter, Blaine automatically stepping up to him, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist.
“I can’t believe this is real. I can’t believe you’re here and this is happening.”
Blaine leaned in and kissed his forehead before leaning his own against it.
“Well believe it. There’s a room downstairs full of a dozen witnesses if you start to doubt it.”
Kurt smiled and looked down at his hands resting on Blaine’s chest, “You told Rachel?”
Blaine nodded, “Everything. Well um, okay not everything, but yeah. She knows. And she’s okay with it, with us.”
Kurt nodded, “How about school?”
Blaine raised an eyebrow and Kurt clarified, “I mean that…well, in a few weeks you’re going back to Columbus. That’s two hours away.”
“I don’t care.”
“The distance is gonna suck.”
“We’ll make it work. Besides, that’s why they invented Skype.”
Kurt couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous look Blaine gave him. Blaine tugged him off the counter and into his chest, holding Kurt tightly in his arms, “I don’t care about any of that Kurt. I just care about you. I want to be with you because I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Then that’s all that really matters, right?”
Kurt nodded against Blaine’s chest before picking his head up, “Thank you.”
“Mm, for what?”
Kurt smiled at him, bringing a hand up to stroke over Blaine’s cheek gently, “For making me believe I’m worth something. For making me feel wanted.”
“I will always want you.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
Blaine leaned in to press their lips together again and Kurt smiled into the kiss. A few minutes into 2012 and already it looked like he was going to have a pretty good year.
back to part one
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