5.16- Dark Side of The Moon
I still can't wrap my head around it all...especially the ending. But that's why I write all this shit down, so my posts can be somewhat coherent.
As heartbreaking as this episode was...this is the reason I'm in total and complete love with this show and the writers.
A++ Kripke. A++.
I kinda loved the 'Then' sequence. it had clips of the boys dying a billion times and wee!chesters.
The boys dying like right off the bat? ...I've watched that scene multiple times over the week, and I still almost snapped my pen in half when Sam died and Dean just...I can't even explain it. (Jensen's facial expressions are brilliant shit, okay?)
I LOVE YOUNG!SAM. Everyone should know this. Wee!chesters own my damn soul. (I'm so stoked that after school special is on tomorrow morning btw). and I adore Colin, so I was grinning like an idiot.
+ Dean's first 'memory' was 4th of July, 1996. Him and Sam had a fuckton of fireworks and were just blowing them up. Sam was so happy, and Dean just couldn't stop staring at him.
and yes, I teared up when Sammy grinning and hugged Dean. then when Sammy ran off with sparklers and was laughing and smiling and Dean flashed to adult Sam being shot and killed..and there was like total fear on his face? Iloooooovedit. It was our old boys. Dean completely terrified for baby brother.
+ Cas could comminucate through the Car (Sampala>Caspala though, sorry)
"...I'm dead." "My condolences." Snark is nice on you Cas, I like it.
+ Finds Sam at dinner with a family (lol at the little girl grabbing Sam's thigh. she's got balls). Dean tells him they're in Heaven and Sam's all lolwut. "You, I understand. But me? Incase you haven't noticed...I haven't done very many good things." "You thought you were doing the right thing..." "And last I checked the road to heaven wasn't paved with good intentions."
They realize their'heaven' is happy memories. This was when Sam was 11 and had an actual Thanksgiving.
"We didn't have Thanksgiving. We had a bucket of extra crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."
+Cas contacts them through a tv and tells them to find Joshua, an angel that talks to God. "No offence, but we're kinda ass-full of angels."
"Don't you think we should know what the hell God has been saying?" (Again, loving the snark, Castiel)
+ Next memory is Dean's. At home in Kansas. "And more trippy. Apparently, you wuv hugs." (Jensen wearing that tshirt was priceless). Mary makes Dean a sandwhich and even cuts off the crust. ♥ Dean's just...happy. and Sam's just staring, kinda heartbroken. when he calls "Mom..." and she doesn't even hear him, my heart broke.
"Dean, c'mon...we gotta go." "I know, just wait." "Dean.." "Sam, please...One minute." *sigh*...every ep with Dean and Mary fucking breaks my heart.
+ Mary on the phone with John and arguing totally threw me for a loop. And Dean saying he remembered it, that they used to fight? I never guessed that. I was like Sam, always thinking they had the perfect marriage. and then Dean goes and says that John left for three days. just...wtf.
Dean getting up to go and comfort Mary made me sob.
"It's okay, Mom...Dad loves you. And I love you too. I'll never leave you." "You, are my little angel."
They then leave. "I just..never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes."
+ Next memory is Sam's when he ran away and went to Flagstaff (I totally want this to be a fic, jesus h). He had a dog named Bones and everything. Dean's just pissed. Saying that while Sam was gone, he was terrified. He thought Sam was dead and the whole time Sam was camped in an apartment with a dog.
+ The next memory is when Sam left to go to Stanford.
"Your heaven is going to someone else's thanksgiving. Leaving your family is a happy memory? I'm your family. I thought it was me and you against the world." <|3
+ Zachariah catches up to them and they're trying to run away, but he keeps stopping them. Someone in a Luchador outfit saves them and takes them to a bar...and it's motherfucking ASH. I knew he was gunna be in this ep but I still screamed. Loudly. and grinned like a damned idiot. I LOVE ASH SFM. "Buenos dias, bitches. Welcome to my blue heaven."
His heaven is the Roadhouse <3
"It even smells the same." "Blood, Bud, and Beer nuts. Best smell in the world."
(I loved him stabbing a hole in the side of a beer can and just chugging it.)
He then tells them that everyone has their own Heaven, except for Soulmates, they get to share theres (OMG, that totally means the boys are soulmates, ya'll!)
"There's millions of Heavens. Think of it as Disneyland. There's Winchesterland, Ashland, and everyone else's land. And the center of it all is the Garden, the Magic Kingdom."
Also, he's been to other people's heaven. "Einstein, Sam? Now that man knows how to make a White Russian." "and Vatsyayana (guy who created Kama Sutra). His heaven was sweaty and confusing."
+ Ash tells them they've been to Heaven before, but the angels Windex'd their brains. "You boys die more than anyone i've ever met." He then tried not to tear up when they tell him the Harvelles died. He shows them a computer he made that can pick up Enochian and that he speaks it fluently (Because of course he speaks angel...)
+ He tells them someone's there to see them...and brings out Pamela <3333
I loved that bitch. She was awesome.
*smacks Dean* "That's for killing me." "Well, if it's any consolation, we got Ash killed too." "I'm cool with it!" "He's cool with it."
+ She says she likes Heaven "This feels real...but it's Memorex. Down there? That's Real." "I rather the attic than the basement."
She then tries to tell him saying yes to Michael isn't a bad idea...
+ Ash shows them how to get to the Garden, so the boys say goodbye. Pam hugs Sam..and then totally makes out with Dean. "Yup. Just like I imagined." lucky bitch
+ Back to their house, and Mary's there.
"Did you have a nightmare? Wanna talk about it?"
"Look. I love you, but you're not real."
Mary's not listening to him, just keeps talking.
"don't walk away from me. Let me tell you about my nightmare. About how I burned. I never loved you. You were a burden. I was shackled to you. But at least I got away from you." (Her eyes turn yellow)
"The worst was the smell. The pain? Well, what can you say about your skin boiling off. But the smell...You know, I thought I left a pot roast burning on the stove. Seems it was my meat burning off.
"Everybody leaves you Dean, have you noticed? Mommy, Daddy, even Sam. Ever wonder why? Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's you."
+ Zach comes outta nowhere and starts necking on Mary (EW) and just says how much he liked using her. Dean just calls him a dick.
"I have 6 wings in heaven and 4 heads, one of which is a lion. You just don't see that...you should fear me."
"Lucifer may be strong...but I'm petty."
+ Zach starts beating up Dean, and Joshua steps in, saying he has word from God. Zachariah doesn't believe him. "He'll be back soon...and you know how he is with that wrath of his...". He then takes the boys and goes to the Garden.
+ The garden is a botanical garden sam'n'dean went on a field trip to.
"I have a message from God. He says 'back off'. he's finished. Magical amulet or not. it's not his problem."
"He's stepped in enough. The airplane, brining Castiel back to life. Salvation for you, Heaven for both of you. He's meddeled enough."
"Just another dead beat dad with a bunch of excuses. That's fine. I can muddle through that."
+ Joshua brings them back to life, and then they tell Cas what he said.
"Maybe...Maybe Joshua was lying."
"You son of a bitch. I believed in..." *he throws Dean his necklace, "I don't need this anymore, it's worthless." Castiel is like a little kid right now. Just broken and betrayed. (and 2 seconds away from Falling)
+ Sam says that they'll find a way, they'll fix it. Dean doesn't say anything, just grabs his bags and heads for the door.
then he stops and throws the necklace in the garbage.
I seriously was sobbing and shaking and crying at that moment. It's been over an hour and I still can't get over it. Sam's face was just heartbroken.
The three of them are just...done. they're broken and tired and just fucking done.
That broke my heart into a million pieces. But i'm also pissed at God. He's on Earth and knows exactly whats going on, and just doesn't care.
it's HIS CHILDREN destroying the earth and he doesn't give two shits, thinks it's not his problem.
The boys (mainly Cas) have been relying on finding him this whole time..he'd make it better...and to find out that he knows and just doesn't care is heartbreaking and depressing and just GUH. Now i'm totally not surprised that Dean just breaks down in 5x18.
Like i've told heavenvhellvus on AIM multiple times, I fear for my mental health after this show. I'm going to need immense therapy or something.
As heartbreaking as this episode was...this is the reason I'm in total and complete love with this show and the writers.
A++ Kripke. A++.
I kinda loved the 'Then' sequence. it had clips of the boys dying a billion times and wee!chesters.
The boys dying like right off the bat? ...I've watched that scene multiple times over the week, and I still almost snapped my pen in half when Sam died and Dean just...I can't even explain it. (Jensen's facial expressions are brilliant shit, okay?)
I LOVE YOUNG!SAM. Everyone should know this. Wee!chesters own my damn soul. (I'm so stoked that after school special is on tomorrow morning btw). and I adore Colin, so I was grinning like an idiot.
+ Dean's first 'memory' was 4th of July, 1996. Him and Sam had a fuckton of fireworks and were just blowing them up. Sam was so happy, and Dean just couldn't stop staring at him.
and yes, I teared up when Sammy grinning and hugged Dean. then when Sammy ran off with sparklers and was laughing and smiling and Dean flashed to adult Sam being shot and killed..and there was like total fear on his face? Iloooooovedit. It was our old boys. Dean completely terrified for baby brother.
+ Cas could comminucate through the Car (Sampala>Caspala though, sorry)
"...I'm dead." "My condolences." Snark is nice on you Cas, I like it.
+ Finds Sam at dinner with a family (lol at the little girl grabbing Sam's thigh. she's got balls). Dean tells him they're in Heaven and Sam's all lolwut. "You, I understand. But me? Incase you haven't noticed...I haven't done very many good things." "You thought you were doing the right thing..." "And last I checked the road to heaven wasn't paved with good intentions."
They realize their'heaven' is happy memories. This was when Sam was 11 and had an actual Thanksgiving.
"We didn't have Thanksgiving. We had a bucket of extra crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."
+Cas contacts them through a tv and tells them to find Joshua, an angel that talks to God. "No offence, but we're kinda ass-full of angels."
"Don't you think we should know what the hell God has been saying?" (Again, loving the snark, Castiel)
+ Next memory is Dean's. At home in Kansas. "And more trippy. Apparently, you wuv hugs." (Jensen wearing that tshirt was priceless). Mary makes Dean a sandwhich and even cuts off the crust. ♥ Dean's just...happy. and Sam's just staring, kinda heartbroken. when he calls "Mom..." and she doesn't even hear him, my heart broke.
"Dean, c'mon...we gotta go." "I know, just wait." "Dean.." "Sam, please...One minute." *sigh*...every ep with Dean and Mary fucking breaks my heart.
+ Mary on the phone with John and arguing totally threw me for a loop. And Dean saying he remembered it, that they used to fight? I never guessed that. I was like Sam, always thinking they had the perfect marriage. and then Dean goes and says that John left for three days. just...wtf.
Dean getting up to go and comfort Mary made me sob.
"It's okay, Mom...Dad loves you. And I love you too. I'll never leave you." "You, are my little angel."
They then leave. "I just..never realized how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes."
+ Next memory is Sam's when he ran away and went to Flagstaff (I totally want this to be a fic, jesus h). He had a dog named Bones and everything. Dean's just pissed. Saying that while Sam was gone, he was terrified. He thought Sam was dead and the whole time Sam was camped in an apartment with a dog.
+ The next memory is when Sam left to go to Stanford.
"Your heaven is going to someone else's thanksgiving. Leaving your family is a happy memory? I'm your family. I thought it was me and you against the world." <|3
+ Zachariah catches up to them and they're trying to run away, but he keeps stopping them. Someone in a Luchador outfit saves them and takes them to a bar...and it's motherfucking ASH. I knew he was gunna be in this ep but I still screamed. Loudly. and grinned like a damned idiot. I LOVE ASH SFM. "Buenos dias, bitches. Welcome to my blue heaven."
His heaven is the Roadhouse <3
"It even smells the same." "Blood, Bud, and Beer nuts. Best smell in the world."
(I loved him stabbing a hole in the side of a beer can and just chugging it.)
He then tells them that everyone has their own Heaven, except for Soulmates, they get to share theres (OMG, that totally means the boys are soulmates, ya'll!)
"There's millions of Heavens. Think of it as Disneyland. There's Winchesterland, Ashland, and everyone else's land. And the center of it all is the Garden, the Magic Kingdom."
Also, he's been to other people's heaven. "Einstein, Sam? Now that man knows how to make a White Russian." "and Vatsyayana (guy who created Kama Sutra). His heaven was sweaty and confusing."
+ Ash tells them they've been to Heaven before, but the angels Windex'd their brains. "You boys die more than anyone i've ever met." He then tried not to tear up when they tell him the Harvelles died. He shows them a computer he made that can pick up Enochian and that he speaks it fluently (Because of course he speaks angel...)
+ He tells them someone's there to see them...and brings out Pamela <3333
I loved that bitch. She was awesome.
*smacks Dean* "That's for killing me." "Well, if it's any consolation, we got Ash killed too." "I'm cool with it!" "He's cool with it."
+ She says she likes Heaven "This feels real...but it's Memorex. Down there? That's Real." "I rather the attic than the basement."
She then tries to tell him saying yes to Michael isn't a bad idea...
+ Ash shows them how to get to the Garden, so the boys say goodbye. Pam hugs Sam..and then totally makes out with Dean. "Yup. Just like I imagined." lucky bitch
+ Back to their house, and Mary's there.
"Did you have a nightmare? Wanna talk about it?"
"Look. I love you, but you're not real."
Mary's not listening to him, just keeps talking.
"don't walk away from me. Let me tell you about my nightmare. About how I burned. I never loved you. You were a burden. I was shackled to you. But at least I got away from you." (Her eyes turn yellow)
"The worst was the smell. The pain? Well, what can you say about your skin boiling off. But the smell...You know, I thought I left a pot roast burning on the stove. Seems it was my meat burning off.
"Everybody leaves you Dean, have you noticed? Mommy, Daddy, even Sam. Ever wonder why? Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's you."
+ Zach comes outta nowhere and starts necking on Mary (EW) and just says how much he liked using her. Dean just calls him a dick.
"I have 6 wings in heaven and 4 heads, one of which is a lion. You just don't see that...you should fear me."
"Lucifer may be strong...but I'm petty."
+ Zach starts beating up Dean, and Joshua steps in, saying he has word from God. Zachariah doesn't believe him. "He'll be back soon...and you know how he is with that wrath of his...". He then takes the boys and goes to the Garden.
+ The garden is a botanical garden sam'n'dean went on a field trip to.
"I have a message from God. He says 'back off'. he's finished. Magical amulet or not. it's not his problem."
"He's stepped in enough. The airplane, brining Castiel back to life. Salvation for you, Heaven for both of you. He's meddeled enough."
"Just another dead beat dad with a bunch of excuses. That's fine. I can muddle through that."
+ Joshua brings them back to life, and then they tell Cas what he said.
"Maybe...Maybe Joshua was lying."
"You son of a bitch. I believed in..." *he throws Dean his necklace, "I don't need this anymore, it's worthless." Castiel is like a little kid right now. Just broken and betrayed. (and 2 seconds away from Falling)
+ Sam says that they'll find a way, they'll fix it. Dean doesn't say anything, just grabs his bags and heads for the door.
then he stops and throws the necklace in the garbage.
I seriously was sobbing and shaking and crying at that moment. It's been over an hour and I still can't get over it. Sam's face was just heartbroken.
The three of them are just...done. they're broken and tired and just fucking done.
That broke my heart into a million pieces. But i'm also pissed at God. He's on Earth and knows exactly whats going on, and just doesn't care.
it's HIS CHILDREN destroying the earth and he doesn't give two shits, thinks it's not his problem.
The boys (mainly Cas) have been relying on finding him this whole time..he'd make it better...and to find out that he knows and just doesn't care is heartbreaking and depressing and just GUH. Now i'm totally not surprised that Dean just breaks down in 5x18.
Like i've told heavenvhellvus on AIM multiple times, I fear for my mental health after this show. I'm going to need immense therapy or something.