001. Guilty Pleasure
001. Guilty Pleasure
Pairing: Jongkey (Slight Jongho/Onkey)
Rating: Nc-17
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kibum is a player with true feelings.
Based on this song:
What Kibum liked most about Jonghyun was his obviousness. The way he sometimes glanced up and down his bestfriend's body with interested and curious eyes, as if he was looking at that new video game he really wanted to try out. It was annoying at first, but Kibum somehow grew attached to the sensation of being watched. He felt like he was some rare and expensive jewel, the kind that you couldn't help but want, even though you don't even have half of the money needed to buy it. As time passed by and both of them got along better and better each day, Kibum almost completely forgot about Jonghyun's gaze.
But right that moment, he missed the feeling of Jonghyun watching him.
Kibum smirked, he could see that their last performance had killed all the energy left in the SHINee members present in the room. He was sitting near a small table with Onew's head resting on his shoulder, Taemin was slowly gathering the stuff he needed to go back to the dorm and Minho was half dead on a couch. Kibum wondered where Jonghyun was, the familiar feeling of being watched lacked and it was worrying him somehow.
One of heir manager entered the room to tell them to get ready and go back at the dorm. He informed that the show wasn't over yet and Jonghyun would be driving back to the dorm with one of the DBSK's member. It seemed like Jonghyun wanted to watch their sunbaes perform before going back. Everyone wondered how he could still bear to see lights flashing on and off, body moving and hear loud songs with thousand of fans screaming.
Their manager explained that they had to get up early the next day and it was better for them to get some rest soon. However, being pretty exhausted himself, he had allowed Jonghyun to stay a little longer, he hadn't felt like arguing with the latter and force him to get back to the dorm. He didn't want to deal with any more stubborn behaviors in the state he was in.
"I'll stay and come back with Jonghyun," Kibum said, receiving a surprised glance from not only his manager, but also his leader whose head was no longer warming up the his shoulder.
"It's supposed to be the leader's-"
"Ondubu, you've been sleeping on my shoulder for, like, the past 15 minutes." Kibum got to his feet and stretched his arms. "Go rest. I'll take care of this, okay?"
Onew eyed the younger boy, unsure. His eyes could barely stay focused, which made him agree with Kibum's suggestion. He nodded and pulled himself up to follow the manager and the two youngest boys. He stumbled in a chair and looked at Kibum one last time, just to make sure his bandmates would be okay. Then everybody disappeared from Kibum's sight and he was left alone in the dressing room.
Normally, there would be all sort of people running around with make-up and clothes in this room. But now, as the music of the show blasted in the hallway, the room was desert. Kibum hesitated to go join the others to watch the last part of the show. And after a good minute of pondering, he decided against it, he just stayed put right where he was, feeling his sore legs supporting his light self.
He waited. Waited for a long while. To the point where he wondered if Jonghyun would be back or would just go without him. Then he remembered that Jonghyun's bag along with his precious mp3 payer was right beside Kibum, on the table. He would surely come back to pick them up soon.
Kibum sat back on the chair, letting his head rest on the wall behind and his eyes close tightly. His mind was wandering around in his thoughts, thinking about all sort of sometimes sinful, sometimes ordinary things. He was almost drifting into slumber when the feeling of being watched suddenly came back to him.
However, instead of opening his eyes to find out who was invading the previously empty room, he just pretended to sleep. He heard faint footstep coming closer. The person walking around was probably wearing socks for no clacking of shoes on the floor could be heard. Kibum was pretty sure whoever was in the room was looking at him closely. He could feel a nice melon scented breath being blown on his face, near his mouth.
Kibum swore they stood like this for at least five minutes. He suddenly sighed and sensed the person watching him jump a little and shuffle away. It made Kibum open his eyes as a smirk drew itself on his lips. He looked at the other boy's back on the other side of the room for a short while.
"Jonghyun," He called, making the other turn around wildly with a hand clutching the clothes were his heart was.
"God you scared me," Jonghyun said, his eyes wide.
Kibum smiled mischievously and stretched his arms above his head. "So, who's driving us back? Jaejoong-hyung? Yunho-hyung? Both?"
"You didn't have to wait for me you know," Jonghyun said, busying himself with picking up the remaining of his dried fruits that were lying on one of the make-up counter.
"Oh I had to," Kibum stood up and walked up beside the older boy, leaning his back onto the messy counter. Jonghyun looked up at him with questioning eyes. His face heated up and his expression turned to confusion when Kibum ran the tip of his finger down his jawline. More or less delightful shivers were sent throughout his whole body and Jonghyun quickly looked back at the dried fruits still laying beside a bottle of foundation cream.
"I mean," Jonghyun cleared his throat. He swiftly glanced at Kibum who was smirking playfully. "Onew-hyung could have stayed instead,"
"He was tired. I didn't want him to be exhausted for tomorrow's schedule,"
Jonghyun nodded. "Yeah," He simply said after giving his bestfriend a halfhearted smile. "You are tired too though," He mumbled under his breath, but Kibum thought he was just counting the number of dried fruits he had in his hands.
Jonghyun made his way back to the other side of the room, followed closely by Kibum. The oldest tried to ignore the other, but it was kind of difficult considering that he was practically stepping on his heels. He focused on his bag, placing his notebook in one of the many pockets.
"So," Kibum said to Jonghyun's back.
"So?"
"Who will drive us back home," Kibum asked, his loud voice echoing in the room.
"Jaejoong-hyung said he would be there in an hour,"
Kibum nodded and looked around, confirming there was no one in the room. Seeing Jonghyun's open neck had given him an idea he had been considering for quite a long while. He shrugged all the thoughts that had been keeping him from acting and launched forward to press a soft kiss on the uncovered skin. Jonghyun gasped and got away from the younger boy in less than a second. He backed up against the wall, raising a scared and suspicious eyebrow at his bestfriend.
"W-wait, what are you doing?" Jonghyun said in a whisper, unsure if he had to raise his voice or to keep it low.
Kibum didn't answer, he came closer instead, trapping his hyung between himself and the wall. Jonghyun tried to push him away, without putting all his strength into his movement. As Kibum leaned forward, his breath tickling the older boy's lips, Jonghyun let his back slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. His own breathing had become erratic for more reason and the shock made him unable to blink his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Kibum knelt down beside him, eyes playful and hands teasingly brushing against Jonghyun's left arm.
"Wh-"
Kibum cut him off by leaning forward for a second time, his eyelids almost closed when his face tilted to the side. Jonghyun stood still. Soon, he felt soft lips touching his own. Kibum quickly deepened the kiss, without any protestation from the older one. The simple fact that his bestfriend took the gesture so casually made Jonghyun angry, but also very tempted to try out how far he could go with him.
He brushed this last thought aside.
"Wh-" Jonghyun shook his head violently to make Kibum break the kiss. "What about Minho a-and Onew?"
"What about them?" Kibum whispered and tried to steal another kiss, but failed this time. Jonghyun moved his head lightly, his eyes fell to the floor and that's when he noticed their awkward position; Kibum's legs straddling his own legs, teasing hands behind his neck, massaging the open skin and that familiar face so close to his and coming even closer at each opportunity it got.
"Minho-" Jonghyun gasped as Kibum shifted in his laps. "Minho is-"
"Minho will understand,"
"But-"
"He doesn't really need to know anyway, does he?" Kibum smirked.
"A-and Jinki?" Jonghyun stuttered while Kibum made himself even more comfortable and swang his head to the side to remove the hair always falling on his eyes.
"Jinki?"
"He- Jinki likes you,"
Kibum stopped and looked into the other's eyes as if to get confirmation that Jonghyun was saying the truth. The latter almost noticed a hint of happiness or whatever in his eyes, but all this went away when the younger boy smiled slyly.
"Hmm, interesting. He never told me that," Kibum purred and put both of his hands on Jonghyun's hips. "And he's not here now...and I'm still single. Am I not?"
"B-But. I am not. Minho's-"
"Yah, don't tell me you've been watching me for the past 2 years without any expectations?" Kibum snapped, breaking his low and seductive voice. "You didn't even stop when Minho came into the picture,"
"I- Did not- I no, I never- I mean," Jonghyun tried to back away even more, but the wall was in his way.
"We could use each other," Kibum gave him a predatory grin and closed the gap between their mouths for a second time, only for a few seconds. "Just a little,"
Jonghyun became malleable when Kibum started moving around to get both of their shirts off. He wanted to suppress the nice feeling Kibum was giving him, he didn't want to enjoy any of it. If his voice would have been able to come out of his mouth at that moment, he would have begged for Kibum to stop his action. However, with hands caressing his thighs, Jonghyun's body didn't seem to respond to what his mind was screaming.
Jonghyun breathed in sharply as Kibum bit and licked his neck. His eyes wanted to close, but he fought to keep them open, as if it would make him less remorseful. Kibum was massaging Jonghyun's bare shoulder now drenched in sweat which made the older groan. He hoped that Kibum would noticed his discomfort, but the latter refused to understand. He wouldn't get it. Not until Jonghyun would say it loud and clear. But it seemed that words such as 'no' or 'stop' were absent from Jonghyun's current vocabulary.
"Ki-" He tried to gather up his courage.
"Shh," Kibum placed lustful kiss on Jonghyun's temples. "I don't want this moment to go to waste,"
He trailed down to his chest, soft fingers teasing the skin above Jonghyun's waistband. The sly boy proceeded to pull at the older's jeans. Kibum's digits brushing against Jonghyun's side, sending light electric shocks through his shivering body.
"Close your eyes," Kibum whispered huskily, but Jonghyun didn't obey. "It'll be over soon,"
The oldest looked at his friend who was bending his head down, pressing faint butterfly kisses inside his milky thighs. Jonghyun snatched his gaze away and gulped down the excess of saliva in his mouth. He didn't want to admit that the sight was turning him on greatly.
Jonghyun bit his lips to suppress a moan, once again telling himself he wasn't enjoying the situation even though it was an obvious lie. His head was spinning. He tightenend his grip on whatever he was holding as Kibum's lips slowly moved to a very private part of his hyung's body. Somewhere that left Jonghyun lingering between paradise and hell. He felt the urge to scream his frustration. But, no sound would come out.
Jonghyun's eyelids fluttered at one delicious lick from Kibum's tongue. He struggled agaisnt the wall making Kibum's life a tad more difficult. But he stopped moving around once he settled in the thought that it was too late to stop anyway. He brushed all his regretful thoughts aside when he felt a nice sensation coming up from his lower region. Jonghyun threw his head back against the wall lazily and his eyelids finally covered his brown orbs.
He felt his stomach muscles twist, holding in his breath, feeling himself losing his mind a little more with each second passing by. Kibum heard a yelp when he managed to get what he wanted to spill out of the older boy.
Jonghyun blinked his eyes a few times to clear his view. It was just as if he had been constantly staring at the sun for the last minutes. And now it was over. He was left with nothing but confusion and an unwanted craving for Kibum's body. He panted deeply, staring at the younger boy with broken yet strangely pleased eyes. Kibum looked up, his tongue traveling from one corner of his lips to the other.
"Don't misunderstand," Kibum smirked. "I don't love you yet,"
Jonghyun froze and listened intently. His eyes glued to Kibum's calm face. He really didn't understand how someone could talk so casually at a moment like this. Jonghyun could still feel his legs shaking from the previous sensations he had tried to repress.
"And I don't expect payback. We don't have time for this anyway," Kibum stood up, enabling his hyung to move his numb legs.
"What...do you mean?" Jonghyun managed to say between two deep breath.
"I mean that Jaejoong-hyung will come to pick us up at any moment, so you better put your pants back on!" Kibum exclaimed, busying himself with his messy bag.
Jonghyun obeyed, but didn't give up on asking Kibum about what had just happened. Who would almost make love with someone he didn't even love. That someone being his bestfriend to make it even more unbelievable. And what was bothering Jonghyun even more was his own reaction. He hadn't even let his own boyfriend, Minho, do anything like this to him before. Then he let his bestfriend...
He needed some explanations.
"Kibum-ah," He started, his fingers fumbling with his belt buckle.
"Hm?" The younger boy didn't even look up from his bag.
"What was that all about?" Jonghyun frowned.
Kibum turned to him, a sleepy smile plastered on his lips. "Consider it as...," He looked up at the ceiling, searching for the right words. "Testing the waters?"
Jonghyun stared at Kibum, puzzled. He could hardly believe that minutes ago, he was panting and feeling good yet guilty and kept himself from screaming Kibum's name out loud.
"One thing's for sure," Kibum started. "Don't get any weird ideas in your head. You're not the one I love,"
Jonghyun could actually feel a pinch to his heart at the cold words coming from Kibum's mouth, but he preferred to ignore it. It would lead to more confusion and that was the thing he needed the least at that moment. He just wanted to know Kibum's motives or some kind of clear explanations, then he would start wondering why he felt like his heart had been beaten up.
"Then-"
"Are you ready? We're all waiting for you down there!" DBSK's Junsu popped his head from the door frame. "Hyung is impatient when he's tired and I don't want to be stuck with this grumpy guy again!"
Kibum giggled and it made Jonghyun ask himself how in the world the younger boy found the strength to pull off his usual self when he could probably still taste Jonghyun between is teeth.
"We'll be there in a minute!" Kibum told him and watched Junsu puff his cheeks at their slowness before running down the hallway.
Jonghyun hung his bag over his shoulder and knelt down to tie up his shoes, unhappy with the way things were turning out. "If you don't like me this way, then why-"
"Oh please, this is just a one-time thing." Kibum sighed. "You'll only hurt yourself if you think too much of it,"
"I'm..." Jonghyun released an angry sigh and yanked his jacket from the back of a chair. "Let's go. I'm tired,"
Kibum nodded and made his way out of the room to see Jaejoong flailing at them for taking too much time. Changmin was listening to his ipod with his back pressed against the wall and Yunho and Yoochun were nowhere to be found. Jaejoong groaned and immediately turned around to get out of the building when the two SHINee members walked closer to them.
"Let's go before he kills you two," Junsu whispered and happily ran after Jaejoong. Changmin mutely eyed them up and down with a strange expression and followed after his hyungs.
Jonghyun and Kibum exchanged a questioning look then jogged outside when Jaejoong yelled at them to hop into the car.
---
They quietly tip-toed in the living room. As expected, all the lights were off and everyone was sleeping. Kibum was sleepily walking into the living room, with Jonghyun following behind. The older boy still had a hundred questions in his head.
"Kibum," He called in a whisper.
"What now?" The other replied and turned around. The light of the city were making Kibum's eyes shine like a golden jewel.
"I just wondered. When did you...uh...realize I was kind of...well..."
"Checking me out?"
Jonghyun shut his eyes tightly and nodded once.
"Oh please, even Taemin has noticed it," Kibum growled.
"Really? No, I was not that obvious...was I?"
"You were. Minho has also noticed it. You're lucky he's not the jealous type,"
"Minho. He knows? What?" Jonghyun's eyes went wide and his mind panicked.
"He doesn't know about me suc-"
"Yeah okay, so he doesn't know about that. But...he knows I..."
"You kind of love me in a very weird way? Yes, he does."
Jonghyun squinted his eyes suspiciously. "Do you know, like, everything?"
Kibum giggled and winked at his bestfriend. He opened his mouth to say some cliché line he always said when this subject was brought up, but both of them heard footsteps and shut their mouths.
"Kibum-ah?" Jinki's nervous voice broke the silence.
"Yes?" The called one offered his sweetest smile. Jonghyun swore his heart stirred again.
"Can, Can I talk to you?" Jinki approached them slowly, fidgeting with his fingers nervously.
Kibum nodded, still smiling. Jonghyun glanced at him only to receive a shrug. The three of them stood still without talking for about fifteen minutes. The three of them appeared to each wait for something different. Kibum waiting for Jinki to speak up, Jonghyun waiting for Kibum to go to bed so he could go himself and Jinki just wouldn't talk.
"Well?" Jonghyun grunted, feeling a bit eager to go to bed, since he felt like his brain was going to burst out of his head at any moment.
"Can you just...leave us alone? Just for a moment?" Jinki blushed, though it wasn't that visible in the darkness.
Jonghyun twitched, but dragged his body to the bedroom. He had to take a shower, but he figured it could wait the next morning. He breathed in his dirty clothes and could still smell Kibum's scent mixed in his own sweat.
He sighed and threw his bag onto the floor, removing his clothes to change into his comfortable sleeping clothes.
"It took you long," He heard from one of the bed.
"Minho?"
Jonghyun looked up to see Minho cross-legged on his bed, looking in his direction. The older boy was half dressed up, his shirt laying somewhere in the corner of the room. He still walked closer and sat down next to his boyfriend, letting his head hit Minho's shoulder. He sniffled, his eyes starting to let out cold tears. He nuzzled the Minho's neck, searching for comfort or whatever he needed to feel.
"You're tired," The younger simply said. "Get some rest,"
"I'm sorry," Jonghyun sobbed and Minho couldn't quite catch what he said.
"Go to bed," Minho softly kissed the top of his head and pushed him off his shoulder carefully. "I love you,"
Jonghyun didn't reply.