very long post but i love filling out these things
1. How has LJ changed your life?
LJ hasn't changed my life . Except it gives me something to do when i am bored and its a good venting mechanism to use. and i can keep updated with people i don't talk to that much
2. What do you do before bedtime?
turn my computer off , turn the lights off, check on brayden, get into pjs , brush my teeth
3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Ok so i am addicted to wedding shows on slice like i love them . And ever since i have had Brayden i sometimes cry watching them. Though i don't really know that i will ever get married . But if that day comes i want it to be simple but elegant .
4. What country in the world do you want to visit and why?
australia i've always wanted to go there but i've heard they have crappy food.
5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Yeah this really depends on who i'm around. Around my family i'm an introvert mainly because whenever i have tried to be my self they mainly judge me . So i've just learned to keep my mouth shut and just nod my head and not tell them anything about my personal life. Around Stephen and my friends i'm an extrovert i think my friends are the only ones who truly know me in my life because though at times i've been scared to share things with them ... no matter how ive fucked up or acted like a douche they still remain to be my friends
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I think it can be blessed both ways. Like think of the people u really love like ... it's not like u just love them for no reason like there was something there to make u feel that way... and the fact that u have learned to love them or have always loved them there was something that would have "blessed" you to feel that way and hopefully they love u back .... and its really important for a person to feel loved...everyday i do my best to make Brayden feel loved and i dont want him to ever have a day where he questions it
7. Do you trust easily?
Yes and No... i think it depends on the person and my history with them
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Nothing. Its not right to go after someone who has a significant other. Though you don't always chosse who u love and sometimes u might fall for someone who is already romanticly committed. i don't think u should act on it because if u do there will always be that he/she left them for me what if they leave me for soemone else sorta thing and it can eat away at ur relationship
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
A few things but its all things that will work its self out and i need to let go of the thought of controling everything
10. What is your best quality?
My sense of humour well atleast i think i'm hilarious... but i'm also working on the things i dont like about my self i'm trying to be more understanding and i think being a mother it makes me see things differently so im trying not to be such a bitch lol
11. Is being tagged fun?
I think this is my fist time being tagged on here
12. How do you see yourself?
Oh lord... though i don't always act it i do have low self esteem ...so sometimes i can't always find the best in myself.. or i will always feel like im not good enough like a good enough mother and girlfriend and friend and i've gone though stages in my life where i dont feel worthy and i dont feel thin enough or preety enough... and its deffently a battle i felt my whole life wanted to excell and even when i have in my life i've never been able to say i did that i did a good job and its deffently something that im sturggling to work on ..especially now that i ahve brayden in my life i think its important he sees a strong and confident person and its ok for me to not be perfect
13. The journey or the destination?
the journey
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
hmm how to explain cassie hmm? she's pretty easy going in general, she's artistic and stylish , her hair is always changing, she's hardworking though sometimes in high school she might have struggled but she always work her hardest to get through it which is admirable... umm she's a lot of good things but i'm not really good at describing ppl
15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
If i was married but poor and very happy in my relationship then i wouldn't care ... but sometimes i'm more of a loner and relationships are hard work especially if u dont meet the right person ... i really enjoy my solitude sometimes
16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
Well i already have one child and i love him to death . Well for sure there will be no babies in the near future if ever. I love being a mother and i'm so glad that i get to experience this. But i'm on the fence with having another one. On one side i've had brayden very young and i've given up a lot in my personal life and my whole world is brayden... and he's so worth it... but i think about when i'm in my thirtys Brayden is going to be getting into his teens and i think about all the freedom i will have like yeah i dont doubt that raising a teenage boy is gonna be hard work but he'll hopefully be more indepenant and i'll be able to have a social life again and that makes me not want other children
but on the other hand i see a little new born baby / or a big pregnant belly and my maternal instincts kick in and it makes me want that all over again and though health wise i had a very normal pregnancy with brayden i was so stressed out about everything and anything i feel like i didnt really get to enjoy my pregnancy with him because emotionally i felt like my whole world was crashing down.. and i would really like to have a daughter one day .... so my answer is no more children in the near future but indecisive if i will have more later on and number wise well if my next child was a girl i would stop there but if it was a boy i would give it another shot
17. What's better to give or to receive?
Give
18. Would you go into that particular sex store if some relatives or colleagues are walking nearby, able to see you?
oh my god i would faint if my familly saw me go in there but i think colleagues would be more open to the idea and wouldnt care
19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?
hmm thats a lot of money ... but it would depend on the stranger... i think sex is an emotional thing and it should be shared with only ppl u really care about.... though its a lot of money it would be a hard desicion
20. What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?
Dougy... because my mothers father's name is douglas thank god i was a girl and my parents also thought of naming me shyanne good gawd
LJ hasn't changed my life . Except it gives me something to do when i am bored and its a good venting mechanism to use. and i can keep updated with people i don't talk to that much
2. What do you do before bedtime?
turn my computer off , turn the lights off, check on brayden, get into pjs , brush my teeth
3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Ok so i am addicted to wedding shows on slice like i love them . And ever since i have had Brayden i sometimes cry watching them. Though i don't really know that i will ever get married . But if that day comes i want it to be simple but elegant .
4. What country in the world do you want to visit and why?
australia i've always wanted to go there but i've heard they have crappy food.
5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Yeah this really depends on who i'm around. Around my family i'm an introvert mainly because whenever i have tried to be my self they mainly judge me . So i've just learned to keep my mouth shut and just nod my head and not tell them anything about my personal life. Around Stephen and my friends i'm an extrovert i think my friends are the only ones who truly know me in my life because though at times i've been scared to share things with them ... no matter how ive fucked up or acted like a douche they still remain to be my friends
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I think it can be blessed both ways. Like think of the people u really love like ... it's not like u just love them for no reason like there was something there to make u feel that way... and the fact that u have learned to love them or have always loved them there was something that would have "blessed" you to feel that way and hopefully they love u back .... and its really important for a person to feel loved...everyday i do my best to make Brayden feel loved and i dont want him to ever have a day where he questions it
7. Do you trust easily?
Yes and No... i think it depends on the person and my history with them
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Nothing. Its not right to go after someone who has a significant other. Though you don't always chosse who u love and sometimes u might fall for someone who is already romanticly committed. i don't think u should act on it because if u do there will always be that he/she left them for me what if they leave me for soemone else sorta thing and it can eat away at ur relationship
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
A few things but its all things that will work its self out and i need to let go of the thought of controling everything
10. What is your best quality?
My sense of humour well atleast i think i'm hilarious... but i'm also working on the things i dont like about my self i'm trying to be more understanding and i think being a mother it makes me see things differently so im trying not to be such a bitch lol
11. Is being tagged fun?
I think this is my fist time being tagged on here
12. How do you see yourself?
Oh lord... though i don't always act it i do have low self esteem ...so sometimes i can't always find the best in myself.. or i will always feel like im not good enough like a good enough mother and girlfriend and friend and i've gone though stages in my life where i dont feel worthy and i dont feel thin enough or preety enough... and its deffently a battle i felt my whole life wanted to excell and even when i have in my life i've never been able to say i did that i did a good job and its deffently something that im sturggling to work on ..especially now that i ahve brayden in my life i think its important he sees a strong and confident person and its ok for me to not be perfect
13. The journey or the destination?
the journey
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
hmm how to explain cassie hmm? she's pretty easy going in general, she's artistic and stylish , her hair is always changing, she's hardworking though sometimes in high school she might have struggled but she always work her hardest to get through it which is admirable... umm she's a lot of good things but i'm not really good at describing ppl
15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
If i was married but poor and very happy in my relationship then i wouldn't care ... but sometimes i'm more of a loner and relationships are hard work especially if u dont meet the right person ... i really enjoy my solitude sometimes
16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
Well i already have one child and i love him to death . Well for sure there will be no babies in the near future if ever. I love being a mother and i'm so glad that i get to experience this. But i'm on the fence with having another one. On one side i've had brayden very young and i've given up a lot in my personal life and my whole world is brayden... and he's so worth it... but i think about when i'm in my thirtys Brayden is going to be getting into his teens and i think about all the freedom i will have like yeah i dont doubt that raising a teenage boy is gonna be hard work but he'll hopefully be more indepenant and i'll be able to have a social life again and that makes me not want other children
but on the other hand i see a little new born baby / or a big pregnant belly and my maternal instincts kick in and it makes me want that all over again and though health wise i had a very normal pregnancy with brayden i was so stressed out about everything and anything i feel like i didnt really get to enjoy my pregnancy with him because emotionally i felt like my whole world was crashing down.. and i would really like to have a daughter one day .... so my answer is no more children in the near future but indecisive if i will have more later on and number wise well if my next child was a girl i would stop there but if it was a boy i would give it another shot
17. What's better to give or to receive?
Give
18. Would you go into that particular sex store if some relatives or colleagues are walking nearby, able to see you?
oh my god i would faint if my familly saw me go in there but i think colleagues would be more open to the idea and wouldnt care
19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?
hmm thats a lot of money ... but it would depend on the stranger... i think sex is an emotional thing and it should be shared with only ppl u really care about.... though its a lot of money it would be a hard desicion
20. What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?
Dougy... because my mothers father's name is douglas thank god i was a girl and my parents also thought of naming me shyanne good gawd