Day 31 - We Who Are About To Die
Title: We Who Are About To Die
Author: Grundy (jerseyfabulous)
Rating: FR15
Crossover: LotR
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss and Tolkien. No money is being made here, it's all in good fun.
Summary: They're riding into battle side by side, knowing this time one of them won't be coming back.
Word Count: 2140
Author's Note: There are some movie quotes which are also not mine. The quotes are hopefully obvious (if not, mods, let me know and I shall add to the disclaimers), and the song lyric at the beginning is from Wiz Khalifa's See You Again.
How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
Buffy rode in a place of honor, to Aragorn’s right. Xander rode beside her, and her brothers just behind. Mithrandir was acting as the chief herald, bearing the standard with the White Tree that Arwen had made for her betrothed. The king of Rohan and prince of Dol Amroth rode with them, along with Legolas, Gimli, and the halfling Peregrin Took, who was now a knight of Minas Tirith.
She and Xander were doing their best to be serious, but it’s as if they’ve both reverted to their high school years knowing that this will be the last time they go side by side into battle- the last time they will do anything together. Ever.
They’ve been quoting movies at each other under their breath since they saddled up. Xander had started it by quoting Obi-Wan - “remember, the Force with be with you always” - when he saw which sword she’s chosen for this. Her brothers had tried to persuade her to use Idril’s sword, but she was afraid of destroying family heirlooms. Besides which, this one is hers. She slew balrogs with it. Damn straight she’s using it today.
The Black Gate loomed in front of them, bigger even than she remembers it, but possibly that’s because last time she saw it, she was sneaking around, as opposed to prancing up to yell ‘neener neener neener’ at Sauron. She also had a fairly good idea of what’s on the other side of the gate, and it doesn’t help to think about it.
The heralds cried their part in thunderous voices: “Let the lord of the Black Land come forth, that justice be done upon him! Wrongfully has he made war against Gondor and wrested its lands. Therefore the King of Gondor demands he atone for his evils, and then depart forever. Come forth!”
She couldn’t help steal an amused glance at Xander out of the corner of her eye. She found him rolling his remaining eye to the heavens.
“Seriously, come out so we can kill you?” he muttered. “I’m sure he’s thinking ‘don’t mind if I do’, but still. They really need to work on their taunting.”
She suppressed a giggle. Quite aside from the part where she was supposed to be a super serious elven warrior, she was fairly sure it was wrong to laugh when your best friend’s remaining time on earth was measured in minutes, and the number was rapidly approaching single digits.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?” she suggested.
“I fart in your general direction!” he replied enthusiastically.
They both stifled a snicker at that. Aragorn has been shooting the pair of them worried glances every time they show signs of having a good time. Even after all these years, he still doesn’t truly understand how they operate.
When the huge gates creaked open, the horses all spooked slightly, and they both had to keep their mounts steady. Buffy knew she had it slightly easier - Asfaloth was well trained, and she’d promised him prior to riding out this morning that she would definitely dismount before trying anything crazy. So all she had to do to calm him was murmur quietly to him and rub his neck reassuringly. Xander, on the other hand, had been offered a horse by Eomer King, a mount of one of the Rohirrim who had fallen at the Pelennor Fields. Rohirric horses were… spirited.
The gates didn’t open fully, so the rest of the army’s first glimpse of what awaited them was limited. Dimly, though the dust, Buffy could see only a small part of the army of Mordor, kept carefully in line while a herald rode out to meet them first. She didn’t need to see Sauron’s full strength to know that while they are fewer than they might have been if not for her trip to Rhûn, there are still far more of them than of the Army of the West.
The rider finally drew close enough for them all to get a good look. ‘Ew’ pretty much summed him up, and that was before he began to talk.
“I am the Mouth of Sauron,” it hissed. “My master bids thee welcome.”
“So he’s got a mouth and a really irritated eye… is that all?” Xander asked in mock surprise.
His voice was loud enough to carry back to the rest of the Army of the West
“Seriously? This is the best he could do? What kind of cut-rate dark lord is he? Where’s the rest of him?”
The Mouth glared at him. At least, it seemed like he was glaring. His helmet made it really hard to tell.
“You dare insult-”
“He very much dares,” Buffy broke in, deciding that allowing Xander to engage in a verbal sparring match with the minion would waste more time than they could afford - not to mention, it would be a really lopsided contest. “By the way, Mouth of Sauron, tell the rest of Sauron he forgot to brush his teeth before greeting his guests. It’s kind of rude.”
She smirked as she realized the complete lack of intimidation was having its effect on the rest of the army. There were even a few snickers coming from the ranks as those who hadn’t understood what Xander said had it translated for them by those who had, snickers that turned into smothered laughter at her words.
“Are there any in this rabble with the authority to treat with me?” the Mouth demanded insolently, apparently deciding the best way to deal with the pair of them was to ignore them.
Xander shrugged.
“I don’t know, depends on what kind of authority you’re looking for. I mean, he’s King, but she’s-”
“Silence, impudent boy!” it snapped.
The eye of Sauron suddenly fixated on Buffy, and the Mouth laughed, a high, cruel laugh.
“You! You think know what’s to come, who you are? You haven’t even begun.”
Buffy snorted. She really didn’t feel like discussing the ‘what’s to come’ part, because she didn’t need the reminder that this was just the warm-up round. But who she was? That was fair game.
“I’d say I have a pretty good handle on who I am, thanks. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anariel Dagnis, daughter of Elrond, granddaughter of Galadriel, littlest scion of the house of Finwë…” she ticked them all off on her fingers. “Oh, and I have really nice hair.”
She straightened up, flipping the hair in question with a deliberately sunny smile. It feels like she’s come full circle, back to bantering with vamps. Second verse, same as the first. The Big Bad just a little bit bigger and a whole lot worse.
“Slayer! Do you know what a Slayer is?” the Mouth demanded with a smirk.
“Do you?” she asked sweetly, because he seemed unaware that ‘Slayer’ is fancy for ‘I kill things like you’.
“I know what haunts your dreams, Slayer, and unlike you, I know why. Your failure will be a delight to behold.”
“That’s nice,” she said, her bored tone making it clear that his words didn’t faze her in the least. She’s heard ninety years’ worth of minions tell her about her upcoming glorious failure- and beat them all. She’s going to enjoy this one.
“You want to get on with trading insults with the king? Cause I’d kinda like to get to the battle… especially the part where I slay you and then call your puppet master out.”
That’s when she hears Sauron himself, not just his Mouth, in her head. She’s used to her grandmother and her siblings speaking like this, but not the Big Bad. She’s definitely not used to hearing the Big Bad try to sweet talk her to the dark side in her head. In highly explicit terms, no less.
“Ew!” she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Did you seriously just try to hit on me?”
She doesn’t give a damn if it’s unelvish to have said that out loud, because the images Sauron just put in her head are beyond skeevy. She doesn’t say the next part out loud, because she’s fairly sure it’s not just her brothers who would overreact to the Dark Lord being inappropriate with the only girl at the party. Xander’s already giving her a concerned look, not that there was much he could do. Orcs and trolls, he can handle. A fallen maia, not so much.
I wouldn’t get naked with you if you were the last… male in Arda, she informed Sauron. Last being, even. Also, can you even do that without an actual body?
The sudden heat that blossomed in an intimate part of her body answers that question and brings a flush to her face that is equal parts embarrassment and fury.
The Mouth has evidently kept talking while she and Sauron had their private conversation, because he’s grinning at having finally scored points - Mithrandir just snatched a mithril shirt from him that evidently belonged to Frodo.
“Oh, good, now that the pleasantries are over,” she said with a predatory smile that has made many an evil thing know fear over the years.
She unsheathed the sword forged by Maeglin that does have a Quenya name but that she has dubbed Lightsaber. She’ll apologize to him if she ever gets to meet him - if things don’t go well, that might be fairly soon.
“Why don’t we move on to the main event.”
With that, she sliced the Mouth’s head clean off his shoulders.
“Clear enough answer for you, Red Eye?” she demanded. She pointed her sword at the dark tower, the challenge blatant. She reached out with her fëa, because all’s fair in love and war, and she could feel his uncertainty. He knows there’s a trap in this somewhere, but he can’t figure out where. It was the only reason he hesitated.
So she decided to make bloody well sure Sauron can’t decline this fight, not with both armies witnessing the confrontation. It won’t be as satisfying said all formal the way Aragorn’s heralds have been talking, but even so-
“Fight now or be known before all Arda as the coward you are!”
She heard Xander very quietly let out a few chicken noises, more for her benefit than anything else, but she liked to think Sauron heard them too.
The rumbling of the gates swinging open to their full extent was Sauron’s reply, and her smile turned predatory as the horde of Mordor advanced.
She dimly realized that Aragorn has called for them to fall back, but she doesn’t see the point. He can go on and give a pep talk. She doesn’t need one, she came here to fight and she’s ready to do that right now. However, her brothers have other ideas and they take an elbow each to steer her around and force her further back toward the rest of Aragorn’s forces before she dismounts.
She ignored Aragorn’s rousing speech as the armies of Mordor stream out of the gate, encircling the men of the West.
“Hey, Xan, look, they’re making it easy for us,” she called cheerfully.
The sounds behind her suggest that her confidence surprised the men behind her. Hopefully it also bucks them up. This one’s not going to be fun if Frodo doesn’t come through- not even for her.
“Yep. ‘Hit everything in front of me’ is simple enough even I can’t mess it up,” Xander grinned.
She’s no longer thinking about the mortals who follow Aragorn, or anything else behind her. She may have marched here with an army, but she’s not part of it. Let the commanders of Men look to their army. For her, there is only her and her brothers, both mortal and immortal, and the enemies they are about to slay. Nothing else matters.
“Hey, take a look at the Earthlings,” Xander said, not quietly but still mostly for her ears. “Y’all take care, all right? Nothing but love for ya. Nothing but love!”
It’s the most appropriate quote he’s come out with all day. It’s just a shame the twins and Aragorn will not understand the reference. They never watched Independence Day. She gave up on trying not to laugh.
Middle Earth is doomed, Giles whispered in her mind.
“You think they have any idea what’s about to happen to them?” she snickered.
“Not a chance in hell,” he replied with an easy grin, flicking his sword in a mocking salute to the oncoming tide of orcs. “Good night!”
“Peace!” they yell together as they raise their swords to meet the charge.
It’s the best, most confusing, war cry they’ve ever used.
Author: Grundy (jerseyfabulous)
Rating: FR15
Crossover: LotR
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss and Tolkien. No money is being made here, it's all in good fun.
Summary: They're riding into battle side by side, knowing this time one of them won't be coming back.
Word Count: 2140
Author's Note: There are some movie quotes which are also not mine. The quotes are hopefully obvious (if not, mods, let me know and I shall add to the disclaimers), and the song lyric at the beginning is from Wiz Khalifa's See You Again.
How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
Buffy rode in a place of honor, to Aragorn’s right. Xander rode beside her, and her brothers just behind. Mithrandir was acting as the chief herald, bearing the standard with the White Tree that Arwen had made for her betrothed. The king of Rohan and prince of Dol Amroth rode with them, along with Legolas, Gimli, and the halfling Peregrin Took, who was now a knight of Minas Tirith.
She and Xander were doing their best to be serious, but it’s as if they’ve both reverted to their high school years knowing that this will be the last time they go side by side into battle- the last time they will do anything together. Ever.
They’ve been quoting movies at each other under their breath since they saddled up. Xander had started it by quoting Obi-Wan - “remember, the Force with be with you always” - when he saw which sword she’s chosen for this. Her brothers had tried to persuade her to use Idril’s sword, but she was afraid of destroying family heirlooms. Besides which, this one is hers. She slew balrogs with it. Damn straight she’s using it today.
The Black Gate loomed in front of them, bigger even than she remembers it, but possibly that’s because last time she saw it, she was sneaking around, as opposed to prancing up to yell ‘neener neener neener’ at Sauron. She also had a fairly good idea of what’s on the other side of the gate, and it doesn’t help to think about it.
The heralds cried their part in thunderous voices: “Let the lord of the Black Land come forth, that justice be done upon him! Wrongfully has he made war against Gondor and wrested its lands. Therefore the King of Gondor demands he atone for his evils, and then depart forever. Come forth!”
She couldn’t help steal an amused glance at Xander out of the corner of her eye. She found him rolling his remaining eye to the heavens.
“Seriously, come out so we can kill you?” he muttered. “I’m sure he’s thinking ‘don’t mind if I do’, but still. They really need to work on their taunting.”
She suppressed a giggle. Quite aside from the part where she was supposed to be a super serious elven warrior, she was fairly sure it was wrong to laugh when your best friend’s remaining time on earth was measured in minutes, and the number was rapidly approaching single digits.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?” she suggested.
“I fart in your general direction!” he replied enthusiastically.
They both stifled a snicker at that. Aragorn has been shooting the pair of them worried glances every time they show signs of having a good time. Even after all these years, he still doesn’t truly understand how they operate.
When the huge gates creaked open, the horses all spooked slightly, and they both had to keep their mounts steady. Buffy knew she had it slightly easier - Asfaloth was well trained, and she’d promised him prior to riding out this morning that she would definitely dismount before trying anything crazy. So all she had to do to calm him was murmur quietly to him and rub his neck reassuringly. Xander, on the other hand, had been offered a horse by Eomer King, a mount of one of the Rohirrim who had fallen at the Pelennor Fields. Rohirric horses were… spirited.
The gates didn’t open fully, so the rest of the army’s first glimpse of what awaited them was limited. Dimly, though the dust, Buffy could see only a small part of the army of Mordor, kept carefully in line while a herald rode out to meet them first. She didn’t need to see Sauron’s full strength to know that while they are fewer than they might have been if not for her trip to Rhûn, there are still far more of them than of the Army of the West.
The rider finally drew close enough for them all to get a good look. ‘Ew’ pretty much summed him up, and that was before he began to talk.
“I am the Mouth of Sauron,” it hissed. “My master bids thee welcome.”
“So he’s got a mouth and a really irritated eye… is that all?” Xander asked in mock surprise.
His voice was loud enough to carry back to the rest of the Army of the West
“Seriously? This is the best he could do? What kind of cut-rate dark lord is he? Where’s the rest of him?”
The Mouth glared at him. At least, it seemed like he was glaring. His helmet made it really hard to tell.
“You dare insult-”
“He very much dares,” Buffy broke in, deciding that allowing Xander to engage in a verbal sparring match with the minion would waste more time than they could afford - not to mention, it would be a really lopsided contest. “By the way, Mouth of Sauron, tell the rest of Sauron he forgot to brush his teeth before greeting his guests. It’s kind of rude.”
She smirked as she realized the complete lack of intimidation was having its effect on the rest of the army. There were even a few snickers coming from the ranks as those who hadn’t understood what Xander said had it translated for them by those who had, snickers that turned into smothered laughter at her words.
“Are there any in this rabble with the authority to treat with me?” the Mouth demanded insolently, apparently deciding the best way to deal with the pair of them was to ignore them.
Xander shrugged.
“I don’t know, depends on what kind of authority you’re looking for. I mean, he’s King, but she’s-”
“Silence, impudent boy!” it snapped.
The eye of Sauron suddenly fixated on Buffy, and the Mouth laughed, a high, cruel laugh.
“You! You think know what’s to come, who you are? You haven’t even begun.”
Buffy snorted. She really didn’t feel like discussing the ‘what’s to come’ part, because she didn’t need the reminder that this was just the warm-up round. But who she was? That was fair game.
“I’d say I have a pretty good handle on who I am, thanks. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anariel Dagnis, daughter of Elrond, granddaughter of Galadriel, littlest scion of the house of Finwë…” she ticked them all off on her fingers. “Oh, and I have really nice hair.”
She straightened up, flipping the hair in question with a deliberately sunny smile. It feels like she’s come full circle, back to bantering with vamps. Second verse, same as the first. The Big Bad just a little bit bigger and a whole lot worse.
“Slayer! Do you know what a Slayer is?” the Mouth demanded with a smirk.
“Do you?” she asked sweetly, because he seemed unaware that ‘Slayer’ is fancy for ‘I kill things like you’.
“I know what haunts your dreams, Slayer, and unlike you, I know why. Your failure will be a delight to behold.”
“That’s nice,” she said, her bored tone making it clear that his words didn’t faze her in the least. She’s heard ninety years’ worth of minions tell her about her upcoming glorious failure- and beat them all. She’s going to enjoy this one.
“You want to get on with trading insults with the king? Cause I’d kinda like to get to the battle… especially the part where I slay you and then call your puppet master out.”
That’s when she hears Sauron himself, not just his Mouth, in her head. She’s used to her grandmother and her siblings speaking like this, but not the Big Bad. She’s definitely not used to hearing the Big Bad try to sweet talk her to the dark side in her head. In highly explicit terms, no less.
“Ew!” she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Did you seriously just try to hit on me?”
She doesn’t give a damn if it’s unelvish to have said that out loud, because the images Sauron just put in her head are beyond skeevy. She doesn’t say the next part out loud, because she’s fairly sure it’s not just her brothers who would overreact to the Dark Lord being inappropriate with the only girl at the party. Xander’s already giving her a concerned look, not that there was much he could do. Orcs and trolls, he can handle. A fallen maia, not so much.
I wouldn’t get naked with you if you were the last… male in Arda, she informed Sauron. Last being, even. Also, can you even do that without an actual body?
The sudden heat that blossomed in an intimate part of her body answers that question and brings a flush to her face that is equal parts embarrassment and fury.
The Mouth has evidently kept talking while she and Sauron had their private conversation, because he’s grinning at having finally scored points - Mithrandir just snatched a mithril shirt from him that evidently belonged to Frodo.
“Oh, good, now that the pleasantries are over,” she said with a predatory smile that has made many an evil thing know fear over the years.
She unsheathed the sword forged by Maeglin that does have a Quenya name but that she has dubbed Lightsaber. She’ll apologize to him if she ever gets to meet him - if things don’t go well, that might be fairly soon.
“Why don’t we move on to the main event.”
With that, she sliced the Mouth’s head clean off his shoulders.
“Clear enough answer for you, Red Eye?” she demanded. She pointed her sword at the dark tower, the challenge blatant. She reached out with her fëa, because all’s fair in love and war, and she could feel his uncertainty. He knows there’s a trap in this somewhere, but he can’t figure out where. It was the only reason he hesitated.
So she decided to make bloody well sure Sauron can’t decline this fight, not with both armies witnessing the confrontation. It won’t be as satisfying said all formal the way Aragorn’s heralds have been talking, but even so-
“Fight now or be known before all Arda as the coward you are!”
She heard Xander very quietly let out a few chicken noises, more for her benefit than anything else, but she liked to think Sauron heard them too.
The rumbling of the gates swinging open to their full extent was Sauron’s reply, and her smile turned predatory as the horde of Mordor advanced.
She dimly realized that Aragorn has called for them to fall back, but she doesn’t see the point. He can go on and give a pep talk. She doesn’t need one, she came here to fight and she’s ready to do that right now. However, her brothers have other ideas and they take an elbow each to steer her around and force her further back toward the rest of Aragorn’s forces before she dismounts.
She ignored Aragorn’s rousing speech as the armies of Mordor stream out of the gate, encircling the men of the West.
“Hey, Xan, look, they’re making it easy for us,” she called cheerfully.
The sounds behind her suggest that her confidence surprised the men behind her. Hopefully it also bucks them up. This one’s not going to be fun if Frodo doesn’t come through- not even for her.
“Yep. ‘Hit everything in front of me’ is simple enough even I can’t mess it up,” Xander grinned.
She’s no longer thinking about the mortals who follow Aragorn, or anything else behind her. She may have marched here with an army, but she’s not part of it. Let the commanders of Men look to their army. For her, there is only her and her brothers, both mortal and immortal, and the enemies they are about to slay. Nothing else matters.
“Hey, take a look at the Earthlings,” Xander said, not quietly but still mostly for her ears. “Y’all take care, all right? Nothing but love for ya. Nothing but love!”
It’s the most appropriate quote he’s come out with all day. It’s just a shame the twins and Aragorn will not understand the reference. They never watched Independence Day. She gave up on trying not to laugh.
Middle Earth is doomed, Giles whispered in her mind.
“You think they have any idea what’s about to happen to them?” she snickered.
“Not a chance in hell,” he replied with an easy grin, flicking his sword in a mocking salute to the oncoming tide of orcs. “Good night!”
“Peace!” they yell together as they raise their swords to meet the charge.
It’s the best, most confusing, war cry they’ve ever used.