28Aug22 - Not Our Remit
Title: Not Our Remit
Author: Beriaearwen
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / GI Joe: Retaliation
Rating: Suitable for people over 13
Word Count: 1640
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Mutant Enemy, etc. The characters of G. I. Joe: Retaliation belong to MGM, etc. All are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: Had this movie on in the background while I was baking today. May have missed some parts but caught enough to be amused. Events of the movie and post Season 7 Buffy to fit this story. NOT canon compliant.
Summary: Something’s not right in the US. This is confirmed in their minds when Snake Eyes is labeled a criminal. After all, who better to identify a falsely accused, than a previously falsely accused.
Not Our Remit
By Beriaearwen
Lady Jaye, Roadblock and Fllint, after successfully making their way out of the well started walking, knowing they had a long way to go before they could get to safety.
They were a few miles away from where the massacre, because it couldn’t be called a battle, had happened when an old van pulled up beside them.
They were immediately on alert since they were not on any road and there was nothing else around. They hadn’t heard it approaching, and they should have. The passenger side window was rolled down and they spotted a young man sitting in the driver’s seat. He looked relaxed and had burgundy colored hair. “Hey, need a lift,” he asked in what could only be described as a laconic tone.
The three soldiers looked at each other, debating silently. They knew they could overpower the man if need be, but they weren’t ready to fall into a trap.
After a few moments where they hesitated, the driver added while looking at Roadblock, “Dolphin says you owe her twenty from Panama.”
A small smirk appeared on Roadblock’s face. “Come on, guys. He’s cool.”
The other two followed his lead and soon all three were settled in the van.
“Name’s Oz,” he revealed, nodding as each of the others introduced themselves. “Best buckle in, things are about to get strange.”
“Strange?” Lady Jaye asked, concerned.
Oz just shrugged. “Normal to me, but most people find it disconcerting. Hold on.”
The trio hastily buckled their seatbelts. There was an odd lurching/spinning sensation and the world around them blurred before re-defining itself as somewhere in farm country.
“What was that?” Flint demanded.
“Magic,” was Oz’s reply.
“Magic. Really?” Flint responded in a flat tone.
Oz just shrugged. They could believe him or not as far as he was concerned. “Almost there.”
They turned off the county road into a long driveway and, before too long, ended up at a very large farmhouse with several out-buildings and small individual cabins scattered around. Oz stopped the van at the front door of the larger building.
Three people were standing on the front landing, waiting for them. One was an older gentleman in a suit and wearing glasses. One was a petite blonde who radiated danger to all three Joes and the third was another woman, taller than the first and brunette who looked like she could be related but held herself more like a librarian.
The three unbuckled and exited the van, standing and taking in their surroundings while keeping the people in sight.
The trio from the house came down the steps.
“Welcome,” the blonde greeted. “I’m Buffy, though Puffin and Dolphin may have mentioned me as Graveyard Girl.”
The name clicked for Roadblock. They hadn’t said much about her other than she was good to have in your corner and would be there if they needed her with whatever she had. He nodded at the blonde. “They have,” he agreed verbally.
“By the way, love that Riley is Puffin,” the brunette added, laughter in her voice. “I’m Dawn.”
“And you may call me Giles,” the male offered. “Now, we just got off the phone with the Finns who confirmed our suspicions.”
“Your suspicions?” Lady Jaye asks.
“Let’s go inside,” Dawn suggested. “We have some rooms set aside for you along with some clothes we think should fit based on what Riley and Sam told us. We really shouldn’t discuss it outside.”
Still on high alert, the three Joes followed them into the house. It was comfortable and lived-in inside. Seeming like just a normal house, until a group of teenage girls ran across the hall, giggling and teasing each other. Their three guides sighed.
“Ignore them,” Buffy advised. “Making eye contact will only encourage them to suck you into their chaos whether you want to or not.”
“Sage advice,” Giles agreed softly.
Before long, they found themselves in a conference room. There were a few other people who were quickly introduced as Willow, Xander and Faith. They were also fairly young but bore the air of veterans and leaders.
“So, first of all. If you’d like to clean up first, we have rooms in the guest area her set aside for you or we have a guest cabin you can use if that would make you feel more secure. It only has two bedrooms but does have a futon in the main room and the couch is also a pull-out. If you’d prefer to know what we know or suspect we can give you a brief overview now and more detail later,” Buffy informed, taking control of the room as naturally as breathing.
“We also have a doctor on-site if you’d like to be checked over or have any injuries,” Willow chimed in.
The three Joes exchanged looks. “We’ll take the rooms to clean up, a visit to the Doc would be appreciated and for tonight the house would be preferable,” Roadblock informed.
“Great. I’ll show you the rooms. We’ll go past the Infirmary so you know where it is and then you can meet back here when you’re ready. The food should be ready by then as well. Hope you like tacos.” With that said, Buffy led the way out of the room and down the hall.
They turned left after three doors, and she paused to point out the Infirmary as the first door on the right. They continued down the hall four more doors and then up a set of stairs against the outside wall. The hallway was short and isolated. There were only five doors, and one was marked “Storage and Cleaning”.
“Lady Jaye, you’ll be the second door on the right. Roadblock first door on the left. Flint, you’re the second door on the left. I do ask you leave any guns in the lockboxes in the room. You can keep the keys. Knives and other weapons are fine to carry with you if it will make you more comfortable,” she added with a smile for them. “We’ll see you in the conference room shortly.”
The three Joes nodded and waited for her to retreat down the stairs before having a whispered conversation where they agreed to check each room before splitting up.
The rooms were exactly what was promised and there were changes of clothes - both fatigues and street clothes - in each room. The lock boxes were sitting on the beds with the key in the lock and the second key hanging on the key loop.
Thirty minutes later, cleaned, doctored and in new clothes, the three Joes arrived in the conference room where bowls and baskets of food were on the table as well as place settings. Most of the people they’d been introduced to earlier were there.
“Hey,” Dawn greeted. “Grab a seat. Hope you don’t mind family style. Willow and Faith had to leave, they had an emergency, so it’s just the rest of us for now.”
“Thanks,” Flint offered, smiling politely at the young woman before taking his seat.
Once the important business of food was handled and everyone had eaten their fill, Buffy spoke up again.
“So. While you were cleaning up, the person pretending to be the President declared Snake Eyes a criminal and called for his arrest,” Buffy stated, holding her hand up to stop the angry protest which erupted from Roadblock. “As I said, the person pretending to be the President. That’s the problem you need to work on and resolve.”
“What do you mean by person pretending to be the President? How would you know that?” Lady Jaye asked.
“We work in the same world as the Finns,” Giles stated carefully. “Except our organization is international in nature and reports to no one government. Please don’t ask for the specifics, you really don’t want to know them. Regardless, various of our personnel have met with all the world leaders. It is always off the books and never recorded as a meeting. However, each leader is given several names to remember in case they ever ask to meet. When an issue came up earlier this week, we sought out the President to speak to him and he didn’t recognize any of the names given, refusing to meet on principle.”
“If you know he’s a fake, why don’t you go find the real one?” Flint asked.
“To be frank, it is not our remit,” Giles stated. “We are not equipped or trained to deal with the world of men and politics. You are.”
“What are you trained to deal with,” Lady Jaye asked.
“Need to know,” Roadblock stated before anyone could say anything. “I know a very little of what the Finns do. I don’t want to know more. Leave it,” he commanded, staring at Lady Jaye and Flint. Slowly the other two nodded their acceptance of the order. “What can you give us besides that?”
“We don’t have a lot of information,” Dawn stated as she passed out files to each of them. What we’ve noticed and an estimated timeline is included as well as actions and policies we feel are out of character given his previous views and statements. Not conclusive, but no one will accept what little we have and, as Giles said, it’s not our remit.”
“We can offer you limited logistical support,” Buffy said. “We don’t have firearms or any other weapons you’re familiar with, but we can give you some money, transportation, food, clothing and safe houses if you want them. But, again, this is your world, not ours. I’m not sure how much help we can be, but if you ask, we’ll do our best.”
“That’s more than we thought we’d have,” Roadblock noted, looking up from his file. “Thanks.”
“World saving is kind of our thing too,” Dawn replied.
“Just a different part of it,” Buffy added.
End
Author: Beriaearwen
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / GI Joe: Retaliation
Rating: Suitable for people over 13
Word Count: 1640
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Mutant Enemy, etc. The characters of G. I. Joe: Retaliation belong to MGM, etc. All are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: Had this movie on in the background while I was baking today. May have missed some parts but caught enough to be amused. Events of the movie and post Season 7 Buffy to fit this story. NOT canon compliant.
Summary: Something’s not right in the US. This is confirmed in their minds when Snake Eyes is labeled a criminal. After all, who better to identify a falsely accused, than a previously falsely accused.
Not Our Remit
By Beriaearwen
Lady Jaye, Roadblock and Fllint, after successfully making their way out of the well started walking, knowing they had a long way to go before they could get to safety.
They were a few miles away from where the massacre, because it couldn’t be called a battle, had happened when an old van pulled up beside them.
They were immediately on alert since they were not on any road and there was nothing else around. They hadn’t heard it approaching, and they should have. The passenger side window was rolled down and they spotted a young man sitting in the driver’s seat. He looked relaxed and had burgundy colored hair. “Hey, need a lift,” he asked in what could only be described as a laconic tone.
The three soldiers looked at each other, debating silently. They knew they could overpower the man if need be, but they weren’t ready to fall into a trap.
After a few moments where they hesitated, the driver added while looking at Roadblock, “Dolphin says you owe her twenty from Panama.”
A small smirk appeared on Roadblock’s face. “Come on, guys. He’s cool.”
The other two followed his lead and soon all three were settled in the van.
“Name’s Oz,” he revealed, nodding as each of the others introduced themselves. “Best buckle in, things are about to get strange.”
“Strange?” Lady Jaye asked, concerned.
Oz just shrugged. “Normal to me, but most people find it disconcerting. Hold on.”
The trio hastily buckled their seatbelts. There was an odd lurching/spinning sensation and the world around them blurred before re-defining itself as somewhere in farm country.
“What was that?” Flint demanded.
“Magic,” was Oz’s reply.
“Magic. Really?” Flint responded in a flat tone.
Oz just shrugged. They could believe him or not as far as he was concerned. “Almost there.”
They turned off the county road into a long driveway and, before too long, ended up at a very large farmhouse with several out-buildings and small individual cabins scattered around. Oz stopped the van at the front door of the larger building.
Three people were standing on the front landing, waiting for them. One was an older gentleman in a suit and wearing glasses. One was a petite blonde who radiated danger to all three Joes and the third was another woman, taller than the first and brunette who looked like she could be related but held herself more like a librarian.
The three unbuckled and exited the van, standing and taking in their surroundings while keeping the people in sight.
The trio from the house came down the steps.
“Welcome,” the blonde greeted. “I’m Buffy, though Puffin and Dolphin may have mentioned me as Graveyard Girl.”
The name clicked for Roadblock. They hadn’t said much about her other than she was good to have in your corner and would be there if they needed her with whatever she had. He nodded at the blonde. “They have,” he agreed verbally.
“By the way, love that Riley is Puffin,” the brunette added, laughter in her voice. “I’m Dawn.”
“And you may call me Giles,” the male offered. “Now, we just got off the phone with the Finns who confirmed our suspicions.”
“Your suspicions?” Lady Jaye asks.
“Let’s go inside,” Dawn suggested. “We have some rooms set aside for you along with some clothes we think should fit based on what Riley and Sam told us. We really shouldn’t discuss it outside.”
Still on high alert, the three Joes followed them into the house. It was comfortable and lived-in inside. Seeming like just a normal house, until a group of teenage girls ran across the hall, giggling and teasing each other. Their three guides sighed.
“Ignore them,” Buffy advised. “Making eye contact will only encourage them to suck you into their chaos whether you want to or not.”
“Sage advice,” Giles agreed softly.
Before long, they found themselves in a conference room. There were a few other people who were quickly introduced as Willow, Xander and Faith. They were also fairly young but bore the air of veterans and leaders.
“So, first of all. If you’d like to clean up first, we have rooms in the guest area her set aside for you or we have a guest cabin you can use if that would make you feel more secure. It only has two bedrooms but does have a futon in the main room and the couch is also a pull-out. If you’d prefer to know what we know or suspect we can give you a brief overview now and more detail later,” Buffy informed, taking control of the room as naturally as breathing.
“We also have a doctor on-site if you’d like to be checked over or have any injuries,” Willow chimed in.
The three Joes exchanged looks. “We’ll take the rooms to clean up, a visit to the Doc would be appreciated and for tonight the house would be preferable,” Roadblock informed.
“Great. I’ll show you the rooms. We’ll go past the Infirmary so you know where it is and then you can meet back here when you’re ready. The food should be ready by then as well. Hope you like tacos.” With that said, Buffy led the way out of the room and down the hall.
They turned left after three doors, and she paused to point out the Infirmary as the first door on the right. They continued down the hall four more doors and then up a set of stairs against the outside wall. The hallway was short and isolated. There were only five doors, and one was marked “Storage and Cleaning”.
“Lady Jaye, you’ll be the second door on the right. Roadblock first door on the left. Flint, you’re the second door on the left. I do ask you leave any guns in the lockboxes in the room. You can keep the keys. Knives and other weapons are fine to carry with you if it will make you more comfortable,” she added with a smile for them. “We’ll see you in the conference room shortly.”
The three Joes nodded and waited for her to retreat down the stairs before having a whispered conversation where they agreed to check each room before splitting up.
The rooms were exactly what was promised and there were changes of clothes - both fatigues and street clothes - in each room. The lock boxes were sitting on the beds with the key in the lock and the second key hanging on the key loop.
Thirty minutes later, cleaned, doctored and in new clothes, the three Joes arrived in the conference room where bowls and baskets of food were on the table as well as place settings. Most of the people they’d been introduced to earlier were there.
“Hey,” Dawn greeted. “Grab a seat. Hope you don’t mind family style. Willow and Faith had to leave, they had an emergency, so it’s just the rest of us for now.”
“Thanks,” Flint offered, smiling politely at the young woman before taking his seat.
Once the important business of food was handled and everyone had eaten their fill, Buffy spoke up again.
“So. While you were cleaning up, the person pretending to be the President declared Snake Eyes a criminal and called for his arrest,” Buffy stated, holding her hand up to stop the angry protest which erupted from Roadblock. “As I said, the person pretending to be the President. That’s the problem you need to work on and resolve.”
“What do you mean by person pretending to be the President? How would you know that?” Lady Jaye asked.
“We work in the same world as the Finns,” Giles stated carefully. “Except our organization is international in nature and reports to no one government. Please don’t ask for the specifics, you really don’t want to know them. Regardless, various of our personnel have met with all the world leaders. It is always off the books and never recorded as a meeting. However, each leader is given several names to remember in case they ever ask to meet. When an issue came up earlier this week, we sought out the President to speak to him and he didn’t recognize any of the names given, refusing to meet on principle.”
“If you know he’s a fake, why don’t you go find the real one?” Flint asked.
“To be frank, it is not our remit,” Giles stated. “We are not equipped or trained to deal with the world of men and politics. You are.”
“What are you trained to deal with,” Lady Jaye asked.
“Need to know,” Roadblock stated before anyone could say anything. “I know a very little of what the Finns do. I don’t want to know more. Leave it,” he commanded, staring at Lady Jaye and Flint. Slowly the other two nodded their acceptance of the order. “What can you give us besides that?”
“We don’t have a lot of information,” Dawn stated as she passed out files to each of them. What we’ve noticed and an estimated timeline is included as well as actions and policies we feel are out of character given his previous views and statements. Not conclusive, but no one will accept what little we have and, as Giles said, it’s not our remit.”
“We can offer you limited logistical support,” Buffy said. “We don’t have firearms or any other weapons you’re familiar with, but we can give you some money, transportation, food, clothing and safe houses if you want them. But, again, this is your world, not ours. I’m not sure how much help we can be, but if you ask, we’ll do our best.”
“That’s more than we thought we’d have,” Roadblock noted, looking up from his file. “Thanks.”
“World saving is kind of our thing too,” Dawn replied.
“Just a different part of it,” Buffy added.
End