Aug 12, 2021 - Banner Special (FR-13)
Aug 12, 2021 - Banner Special (FR-13)
Author: mmooch
Summary: Buffy’s having a misunderstanding with a clerk when Tony steps in to help.
Crossover: MCU
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 469
Warning: nothing I can think of
Challenge: for the livejournal 2021 August Fic-a-Day Challenge
Timeline: vague for MCU; post-series for BtVS
A/N: Minutely inspired by real life events; just spent an hour and a half getting phones upgraded for most of my family and thought…what if Buffy had to buy a phone?
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. MCU characters belongs to Marvel et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Stark Industries lobby
Tony was walking through the lobby for once when he heard a conversation at the mobile store that intrigued him, so he walked over.
“I don’t understand where you saw this banner special advertisement, ma’am,” the clerk protested to a young blonde woman who looked rather frustrated.
“It’s not an advertisement! I want a Banner Special Starkphone…as in a phone that Bruce Banner would use!” Then she registered the end of the sentence and looked horrified. She gasped and patted her head in dismay, turning to Tony and demanded, “Do I have ‘mom hair’? Why would he call me ma’am unless I have ‘mom hair’?!”
“I think your hair is quite stunning and not at all maternal,” he assured her, amused that she was more concerned about that than the fact she was face-to-face with Tony Stark. “The employees are just trained to be polite.”
“Whew!” she breathed a sigh of relief and then smiled when she figured out who he was. “What do you call the phone Dr. Banner uses?”
“Personally, I call it a piece of crap Hammer-phone,” he snarked, “but don’t tell anyone,” he pretended to shush her to keep it a secret. Like he hadn’t said worse on live TV.
“But he needs a more durable phone in case he turns into the Hulk, right? That’s the kind of phone I need!” she pleaded.
“Intriguing…phone model lines based on the different Avengers…” he drifted off to his happy place of inventing.
She smirked and suggested, “Sure, practically indestructible phones for the Hulk, phones that doubles as widow bites if an unauthorized person tries to use it for Black Widow, phones that shoot darts for Hawkeye, phones that convert lightning strikes into electricity to power themselves for Thor, and nanobot phones that change shape into a rotary phone for calls or a piece of paper and pen for texting for Captain America.”
“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” he accused playfully as he tried to keep from laughing out loud at the Cap’s face if he made that particular model and named it after him. “What about my phone model?”
“My friends and I have tossed some ideas around when we’re bored. Why would you need a model? Wouldn’t you just have a holographic phone built into your suit?” she teased back.
Tony grabbed her arm and told the bewildered clerk, “I’m stealing your customer. Great work but be careful of the ma’am bit. Who am I talking to?” he asked the blonde as he pulled her to the elevators.
“Buffy Summers at your service. By the way, you do know you couldn’t really sell some of those models to the public, right?” she asked, suddenly worried that she and the Scoobies would be responsible for people attacking each other with their phones.
A/N: Let’s pretend that SI would have a phone store in their lobby - as well as other stores to sell various consumer Stark merch. Thought I’d share a little crack to go with my Chik-fil-A diet lemonade…which might be just as addictive as real crack. (Just kidding, CFA; don’t sue me, please! I just really love their diet lemonade…especially with their ice!)
Author: mmooch
Summary: Buffy’s having a misunderstanding with a clerk when Tony steps in to help.
Crossover: MCU
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 469
Warning: nothing I can think of
Challenge: for the livejournal 2021 August Fic-a-Day Challenge
Timeline: vague for MCU; post-series for BtVS
A/N: Minutely inspired by real life events; just spent an hour and a half getting phones upgraded for most of my family and thought…what if Buffy had to buy a phone?
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. MCU characters belongs to Marvel et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Stark Industries lobby
Tony was walking through the lobby for once when he heard a conversation at the mobile store that intrigued him, so he walked over.
“I don’t understand where you saw this banner special advertisement, ma’am,” the clerk protested to a young blonde woman who looked rather frustrated.
“It’s not an advertisement! I want a Banner Special Starkphone…as in a phone that Bruce Banner would use!” Then she registered the end of the sentence and looked horrified. She gasped and patted her head in dismay, turning to Tony and demanded, “Do I have ‘mom hair’? Why would he call me ma’am unless I have ‘mom hair’?!”
“I think your hair is quite stunning and not at all maternal,” he assured her, amused that she was more concerned about that than the fact she was face-to-face with Tony Stark. “The employees are just trained to be polite.”
“Whew!” she breathed a sigh of relief and then smiled when she figured out who he was. “What do you call the phone Dr. Banner uses?”
“Personally, I call it a piece of crap Hammer-phone,” he snarked, “but don’t tell anyone,” he pretended to shush her to keep it a secret. Like he hadn’t said worse on live TV.
“But he needs a more durable phone in case he turns into the Hulk, right? That’s the kind of phone I need!” she pleaded.
“Intriguing…phone model lines based on the different Avengers…” he drifted off to his happy place of inventing.
She smirked and suggested, “Sure, practically indestructible phones for the Hulk, phones that doubles as widow bites if an unauthorized person tries to use it for Black Widow, phones that shoot darts for Hawkeye, phones that convert lightning strikes into electricity to power themselves for Thor, and nanobot phones that change shape into a rotary phone for calls or a piece of paper and pen for texting for Captain America.”
“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” he accused playfully as he tried to keep from laughing out loud at the Cap’s face if he made that particular model and named it after him. “What about my phone model?”
“My friends and I have tossed some ideas around when we’re bored. Why would you need a model? Wouldn’t you just have a holographic phone built into your suit?” she teased back.
Tony grabbed her arm and told the bewildered clerk, “I’m stealing your customer. Great work but be careful of the ma’am bit. Who am I talking to?” he asked the blonde as he pulled her to the elevators.
“Buffy Summers at your service. By the way, you do know you couldn’t really sell some of those models to the public, right?” she asked, suddenly worried that she and the Scoobies would be responsible for people attacking each other with their phones.
A/N: Let’s pretend that SI would have a phone store in their lobby - as well as other stores to sell various consumer Stark merch. Thought I’d share a little crack to go with my Chik-fil-A diet lemonade…which might be just as addictive as real crack. (Just kidding, CFA; don’t sue me, please! I just really love their diet lemonade…especially with their ice!)