free write
im sure certain people dont want to hear from me now so my words will go unseen, i just want to write out of spite for who i used to be, im not ben anymore im just a whore just a bore just a floor walk on me and see what i have all day long seen, myself lying naked stripped and dead everywhere i look just me with a bloody hook in hand so i stare down with my ugly frown havent spoken a word for it would go unheard i can tell people are afraid but i couldnt give a fuck if i tryed ive died im just a baby maybe a child a little mild in the sense i have none at all. i feel small so i crawl through life as flea and this is what i see, no ones free everyone is fake and they make it what they can they go to tan they sit and fan the fires of pain arpund them, woundering why its so hard. well today i feel Catastrophic so thats my poem,
Catastrophic
My life is an oblivious void
That consists of pain
and distribution of it.
I have been reconciled within this
subsequential void
By the world.
My dreams have been tossed aside and
replaced by a never-ending serenade of pain
My life is a systematic continuum of reverting,
subconscious hell. I have been dammed to this hellish abode
without the submission of death.
It will not end with me
That is how it must be
Tossed aside like a worthless flea
Cutting my arms only dulls the pain
The pain inside that keeps me sane
Try to run but it is in vain
Catastrophic horrors
Shown in fun house mirrors
Called life
Fuck it
Life throws hope and crushes it then gives you more till one day you quit
Slit this wrist to commit what life won’t permit
Most submit to life’s wit others fall inside a bottomless pit of depression
And aggression masked in affection having no connection to the outside world
Curled in a ball hiding behind its wall
Waiting for tears to fall and a familiar voice to call
It will tend to end
When you lend me your mind
The hands of time
Let me wind
Back
To the front of a war
To beginning of a whore
To the fight for a chore
For more
For less
To stop the mess
To start a caress
Her supple lips
Her soft finger tips
Her devilish whips
Find me once again
Till a voice can
When a thought
Caught my mind
To find I’m mad but to be glad I need a gun to begin my fun
Go ahead find a reason for my treason come to me set the light free and see
So remember I don’t think you should know what I’ve done in tiring times for fun
When time calls for me to run into a freestyle light stricken childhood dream.
please let me die my soul has left and im just a shell in my confined hell
Catastrophic
My life is an oblivious void
That consists of pain
and distribution of it.
I have been reconciled within this
subsequential void
By the world.
My dreams have been tossed aside and
replaced by a never-ending serenade of pain
My life is a systematic continuum of reverting,
subconscious hell. I have been dammed to this hellish abode
without the submission of death.
It will not end with me
That is how it must be
Tossed aside like a worthless flea
Cutting my arms only dulls the pain
The pain inside that keeps me sane
Try to run but it is in vain
Catastrophic horrors
Shown in fun house mirrors
Called life
Fuck it
Life throws hope and crushes it then gives you more till one day you quit
Slit this wrist to commit what life won’t permit
Most submit to life’s wit others fall inside a bottomless pit of depression
And aggression masked in affection having no connection to the outside world
Curled in a ball hiding behind its wall
Waiting for tears to fall and a familiar voice to call
It will tend to end
When you lend me your mind
The hands of time
Let me wind
Back
To the front of a war
To beginning of a whore
To the fight for a chore
For more
For less
To stop the mess
To start a caress
Her supple lips
Her soft finger tips
Her devilish whips
Find me once again
Till a voice can
When a thought
Caught my mind
To find I’m mad but to be glad I need a gun to begin my fun
Go ahead find a reason for my treason come to me set the light free and see
So remember I don’t think you should know what I’ve done in tiring times for fun
When time calls for me to run into a freestyle light stricken childhood dream.
please let me die my soul has left and im just a shell in my confined hell