and so it goes.
the copa is empty. i never thought that, with our monumental amounts of...well...everything ever made, it could ever be empty, but i was the last one to glance in before sam locked the door forever. she cried. i did, too. all the way to the beltway.
for me, it's not that college is over, because college isn't over. it's not that i have to be far away, either. i'm used to driving, a whole lot. i just finally realized a few days ago that sam and ellie will not always be as expected as the couch they're sitting on, hating finola, when i come tripping through the door with twelve armfuls of who knows what. lauren is not going to burst in, flushed, with a wendy's cup and a personal mission to name whatever it is we're watching within nine seconds of walking through the door as she scuttles into her room. ellie is not going to come wandering in to my room as i'm goofing around on the internet, to 'ask me how my day was,' which inevitably is a 45 minute conversation about how mark cannot read her mind and how brian is not much quicker on the uptake and why are engineers so smart yet so stupid and good LORD have you seen the new [article of clothing] from [ann taylor loft/j crew/target] and isn't it cute?
i can no longer storm into brian's apartment, throw him down on the couch, and make him pet my head for an hour while i let off steam from a bad day. it now matters which one of our beds i sleep in. when we go out to eat, it's not going to be at the silver diner (sidenote: if there is a silver diner within 40 miles of either of us, we probably still will). i don't know any backroads here, at least not yet. come to think of it, i barely know any main roads. i have no bed (futon), no desk (space taken), no closet (is now the desk full of not my stuff), and no sheets (it's a queen). on the upside, tonight i reached into the fridge, pulled out tortellini, and ate it. it tasted like it hadn't been in a foil package, waiting for me to come along. nothing about it was deep-fried, covered in sugar, or smelled like plastic. hopefully i'll have the time (or the considerable roomates on a less hectic schedule than my own) to start eating real food again. also, i get to go to the gym soon, possibly as early as tomorrow. i cannot wait. mad science (hopefully) ends for me friday. i'll still be doing random favors here and there for extra cash, but i am SO ready to be done with this job. i'm not the kind of person who wakes up in the morning not wanting to go to work, but here i am, feeling that way. it's so much sitting in traffic, so much getting lost, so much not having the correct equipment, so much forgetting something at the office, so much 'can you just pleeeease do us this ONE favor' (twice a week), so much ending up in a labcoat, a button-down shirt, jeans, and sneakers, lugging 50 pound boxes to and from the trunk of my car. i look forward to having a job where i can wear nice things, go to one place every day, and actually bother to learn people's names.
i'm getting geared-up for teaching. it feels right. i've been muttering to myself in spanish, and listening to native teenagers in public. it puts me at ease that: 1. they're still middle-schoolers, and therefore have no idea how to speak properly in any language, 2. they don't actually talk about anything even slightly important ever, and 3. helping them get better at spanish is only going to make their english skills improve, which is good, because MoCo is impossibly obsessed with data, so upping test scores looks good for all of us. on a sidenote, i cannot WAIT to decorate my classroom. i've been dreaming about it since sixth grade. eeeeeeeeee :D
there is an enormous rash on my chest, and i have no idea where it came from. it itches and spreads like poison ivy, so i'm calamine-ing it to death. so far it is less itchy, but i have a funny feeling it's still spreading. this makes me nervous.
today is the first day where my biggest job is to do...whatever i want. i didn't get here until 6, but then i unloaded the car, knowing it would be the last trip of stuff. i took a long, long shower. i got into pajamas, and watched some tv and had tea. i checked my email for the first time in like 6 days. i'm writing in here. so far it's been quite relaxing. that's not to say that i don't still have a shitton of unpacking/organizing/packing for this weekend to do, but it finally feels like i can come home, and just let things unwind.
i miss the copa, and i miss brian. luckily, the next two or three weeks are going to be a continual whirlwind (though with only one place to come home to, it somehow seems more manageable now), so hopefully i don't realize how sad i am until i'm back into student mode...and then i won't have time to be sad. i hope.
i'm gonna get back to unpacking/relaxing. so much love.
for me, it's not that college is over, because college isn't over. it's not that i have to be far away, either. i'm used to driving, a whole lot. i just finally realized a few days ago that sam and ellie will not always be as expected as the couch they're sitting on, hating finola, when i come tripping through the door with twelve armfuls of who knows what. lauren is not going to burst in, flushed, with a wendy's cup and a personal mission to name whatever it is we're watching within nine seconds of walking through the door as she scuttles into her room. ellie is not going to come wandering in to my room as i'm goofing around on the internet, to 'ask me how my day was,' which inevitably is a 45 minute conversation about how mark cannot read her mind and how brian is not much quicker on the uptake and why are engineers so smart yet so stupid and good LORD have you seen the new [article of clothing] from [ann taylor loft/j crew/target] and isn't it cute?
i can no longer storm into brian's apartment, throw him down on the couch, and make him pet my head for an hour while i let off steam from a bad day. it now matters which one of our beds i sleep in. when we go out to eat, it's not going to be at the silver diner (sidenote: if there is a silver diner within 40 miles of either of us, we probably still will). i don't know any backroads here, at least not yet. come to think of it, i barely know any main roads. i have no bed (futon), no desk (space taken), no closet (is now the desk full of not my stuff), and no sheets (it's a queen). on the upside, tonight i reached into the fridge, pulled out tortellini, and ate it. it tasted like it hadn't been in a foil package, waiting for me to come along. nothing about it was deep-fried, covered in sugar, or smelled like plastic. hopefully i'll have the time (or the considerable roomates on a less hectic schedule than my own) to start eating real food again. also, i get to go to the gym soon, possibly as early as tomorrow. i cannot wait. mad science (hopefully) ends for me friday. i'll still be doing random favors here and there for extra cash, but i am SO ready to be done with this job. i'm not the kind of person who wakes up in the morning not wanting to go to work, but here i am, feeling that way. it's so much sitting in traffic, so much getting lost, so much not having the correct equipment, so much forgetting something at the office, so much 'can you just pleeeease do us this ONE favor' (twice a week), so much ending up in a labcoat, a button-down shirt, jeans, and sneakers, lugging 50 pound boxes to and from the trunk of my car. i look forward to having a job where i can wear nice things, go to one place every day, and actually bother to learn people's names.
i'm getting geared-up for teaching. it feels right. i've been muttering to myself in spanish, and listening to native teenagers in public. it puts me at ease that: 1. they're still middle-schoolers, and therefore have no idea how to speak properly in any language, 2. they don't actually talk about anything even slightly important ever, and 3. helping them get better at spanish is only going to make their english skills improve, which is good, because MoCo is impossibly obsessed with data, so upping test scores looks good for all of us. on a sidenote, i cannot WAIT to decorate my classroom. i've been dreaming about it since sixth grade. eeeeeeeeee :D
there is an enormous rash on my chest, and i have no idea where it came from. it itches and spreads like poison ivy, so i'm calamine-ing it to death. so far it is less itchy, but i have a funny feeling it's still spreading. this makes me nervous.
today is the first day where my biggest job is to do...whatever i want. i didn't get here until 6, but then i unloaded the car, knowing it would be the last trip of stuff. i took a long, long shower. i got into pajamas, and watched some tv and had tea. i checked my email for the first time in like 6 days. i'm writing in here. so far it's been quite relaxing. that's not to say that i don't still have a shitton of unpacking/organizing/packing for this weekend to do, but it finally feels like i can come home, and just let things unwind.
i miss the copa, and i miss brian. luckily, the next two or three weeks are going to be a continual whirlwind (though with only one place to come home to, it somehow seems more manageable now), so hopefully i don't realize how sad i am until i'm back into student mode...and then i won't have time to be sad. i hope.
i'm gonna get back to unpacking/relaxing. so much love.