i am feelin a little....wittyness..
HAHAHAHAHA!!! this is really great...
A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in GA one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed
a young man ready {fixin} to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't
jump, think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "Mom and Dad
are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children." He replied, "I'm not
married and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''
She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
These r good too...
As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
jackasses.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the rear are permanent.
this is how i always feel about daivta... so HA.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-Walter Bagehot
This is great...
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless
so i figure if you guys r all still procupied with all the Shelby eric garrick thingy.. i wont post stuff i want comments on, utnil it all blows over.. i like comments, but with all this, y stuff doesnt seem so big to u guys, so this is all....
**PS... I AM LEAVING FOR M.B TONGIHT... FOR STATES.. PRAY EM THROUGHT THE MEET PLZ PLZ PLZ... I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA MAKE REGIONALS!!!
A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in GA one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed
a young man ready {fixin} to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't
jump, think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "Mom and Dad
are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children." He replied, "I'm not
married and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''
She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
These r good too...
As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
jackasses.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the rear are permanent.
this is how i always feel about daivta... so HA.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-Walter Bagehot
This is great...
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless
so i figure if you guys r all still procupied with all the Shelby eric garrick thingy.. i wont post stuff i want comments on, utnil it all blows over.. i like comments, but with all this, y stuff doesnt seem so big to u guys, so this is all....
**PS... I AM LEAVING FOR M.B TONGIHT... FOR STATES.. PRAY EM THROUGHT THE MEET PLZ PLZ PLZ... I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA MAKE REGIONALS!!!