(no subject)
I always get this incredible satisfaction at finishing my homework. And finishing another step toward grad school. I am still kind of in shock about making this decision. I've wanted to be a teacher since I was like 13 years old. Why did it take me so long?
I think a lot of what is crazy about this decision is that it's a true career path. This isn't some corporate job where I might be for the next couple/few years. Like, this is it. This is the point where I get to do something I am really passionate about. I'm also a little scared but it's kind of exhilarating.
I also worry that I'm selling myself short. And I only mean this as in financially, and it's really not an actual worry. It's just a thought that has crossed my mind once or twice. I guess what I'm really afraid of is thinking about that curiosity for too long because it would mean another change. And I don't want that. I'm really ready for some stability in my life.
But mostly, I'm so fucking excited. And I haven't been this happy and relaxed in a long time. I feel like leaving Chase took soooooo much stress out of my life. And the feelings of hatred for my manager have started to subside. Truth be told, I never really hated her. I just felt like I was belittled and dehumanized by her. And it frustrated me to no end that she had a complete lack of listening skills and any real level of empathy. It is still sinking in that I am working back at the university. That I don't have to report to Chase on Monday morning.
But anyway. Ya. Getting my homework done is incredibly satisfying. I really should start trying to make a point of getting it done earlier in the week.